


Completed

by Taua



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon-Mechanics, Darkfic, Disturbing Themes, Friendship, Later On Intimacy, MAYOR KH3 SPOILERS, Multi, Other, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harming Elements, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, f/m-Elements, m/m-Elements, vanitas-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:50:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 116,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20543408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taua/pseuds/Taua
Summary: After Kairi returns to the group, Sora also manages to make his way back into the realm of light. However he was too weak to do it alone - and found assistance in Vanitas' fractured heart in the abyss of darkness.Now Vanitas winds up with a complete heart while all he ever wanted was to silently fade from existance. Living among the guardians of light he plots his revenge on Sora - but with time he finds out there is more to life than dark and light.Will the realization make him abandon his plans or will he, again, decide to be darkness?Vanitas doesn't have an answer yet.





	1. Washed Up

The ocean was calm, the waves idly pushing up at the beach before the water retreated again. Rich teal that thinned out against the bright sand until it was nothing but transparent. A slight breeze rustled the ferns and palms, always present at the shore and evergreen. But on days like these it was nothing but a stroke, a caress on the skin that left one calm and even serene in the warm, salty air.

It was a few hours after dawn; the sun was slowly rising in the sky, the heat briefly increased but not unbearable just yet. In a few hours the people would retreat into the shadows, wait patiently for the midday to pass. Teens would laze around then and even those who had to work would do it inert, take their time as they slowed the pace. The people living at Destiny Island were used to that routine, just like they knew the rhythm of ebb and flow from the ocean surrounding them.

However the calmness found a sudden end as the water began to move near the small, lone island near the harbor – large bubbles rose from the depths, a few at first but then more and more. Eventually two bodies broke the surface near the beach, coughing wildly and moving jerky. Ever so often the heads sunk under again, sometimes for dangerously long, however came back up with hasty breaths. Ever so often arms would stick out to, flailing as they fought their way closer to shore.

Somehow the two made it to the beach and crawled out, the wet sand squishing beneath clenched fingers and heavy limbs. The retreat of the waves dragged them back slightly before it pushed them further up, a constant fight like in the ocean, yet much less dangerous. Only when they pulled out to the point only their lower bodies remained in did the waves no longer affect them and they coughed wilder, spitting ocean water from much too full lungs. They were completely drenched, inky-black and chestnut-brown hair hanging flat off their heads as they tried to regain their breaths, the heavy clothing making the simple task almost unbearably harder.

After a last cough the brunette turned onto his back, arms outstretched on either side of his body as he sunk slightly into the wet sand. His chest rose and fell quickly while he felt the sun on his face, warm and welcome and oh so familiar, juvenile features relaxing after the fight against drowning. Tired he blinked blue eyes open, the same color as the sky on a cloudless day, as he looked around and listened to the noises of the beach. The rustle of the palms greeted him, as well as the cries of the few seagulls above them, the well-known and unique scent of the salty air and warm sand welcoming him like a warm hug.

Slowly his lips pulled into a grin – content and fond – before he allowed his eyes to slide close again. “We made it back,” he whispered, coughing ever so slightly as his tongue didn't quite move as he wanted, however that wasn't enough to wipe the good mood from his face.

The teen with the raven hair was still on his stomach, upper body held up by his lower arms while he gasped for air. A bit out of it still he blinked at the sand beneath himself, took in the brownish beige color while the sun burned into the back of his head annoyingly. His tight, dark clothes kept the rays from touching him anywhere else, but his head was completely unprotected. Much too many noises crashed his beings and his eyes and nose burned from the seawater, single drops still pearling off his chin while he gasped and coughed and then gasped some more. He couldn't recall ever been surrounded by so much water for such a long time, his skin itching at the rests still firmly pressed against every little bit of flesh.

“What did you do...” Panting he tilted his face toward the brunette, lips pulled in a snarl and golden eyes narrowed in fury. “What _the fuck_ did you do?!” he demanded, almost shouted, as he crawled closer to the brunette, his entire body screaming in exhaustion but hot white anger urging him on. The pleased grin on the brunette only infuriated him more up the longer it lasted, bile rebelling in his stomach and threatening to spill out along with tar. Finally close enough to reach he lifted a heavy hand and curled it around his neck, thumb on one side and rest on the other. “Answer me! I'll fucking _strangle_ you!”

With the ridiculous rest of his forces he tried to squeeze down on the throat under his palm, but he was too exhausted to do much more than a gentle nudge. His fingers refused to clench and curl and his entire arm started to tremble, much too soon passing it to the rest of his upper body.

Meanwhile the brunette's breathing evened out, regular and calm as if he was asleep with the stupid grin still on his lips.

A low growl rumbled from the raven – followed by a cough as the ocean water was not quite all the way out yet. His shaking arms eventually gave in and he crashed down into the much too bright sand. The entirety of his left face was covered in it now, stuck against his wet cheek as he glared at the brunette with pure, bottomless hate reflecting in his eyes. In spite of his pathetic state he realized with crystal clarity he was simply too tired to do anything but lay flat on the beach boiling with rage.

After a nap, of that he was certain, he'd have enough force to strangle the idiot. And then he would think of a way to go back where he came from.

Plan firmly set in mind, he allowed his eyes to close and body to drift away, the world bathed in blissful darkness around him as he allowed slumber to claim his exhausted being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the intro! 
> 
> Lately I've been developing a huge crush on Vanitas and couldn't stop myself from writing v.v  
This first part is a bit short, but the next chaps will definitely be longer.  
I don't know when I'll be updating exactly, however I'll try to keep the chaps coming :D
> 
> In the next part we'll get more into detail on the hows and whats about their return.  
And, ofc, on Vanitas' first steps back into a regular existance. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the read so far!  
See you in the next part :) 
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	2. Captured & Weak

Slowly Vanitas came to, his mind shaking off the sleep while he remained with his eyes closed. He had been slipping in and out of slumber a few times already as his body faded in the realm of darkness, but this time felt a little... different.

Instead of familiar numbness his skin tickled, feeling returned to a point it was bothering. The longer Vanitas focused on it the odder it became; whatever was against his skin was _not_ his bodysuit. The tightness was gone, left him open to move without bother. And whatever touched him in its place – it was like _nothing_ he knew. It even made noises, a dull rustle with every breath he sucked in, and it was soft and warm like he had been swallowed by some monster. Perhaps he even was? Who knew what kind of creatures lived in the realm of darkness safe for the heartless.

He felt his irritation grow steadily, along with a spark of confusion as he realized how alien he felt in his own skin. Eventually he opened his eyes, still a little dazed from his deep slumber, groggy gold taking in the surroundings.

In a flash Vanitas sat upright, head whipping around as he took in the foreign, _way too bright_ room.

White, empty walls without a window. Wooden floor and a heavy door on the far end. A single bed he laid in, complete with a blanket and a pillow. Taken aback and still confused he tore the blanket away from himself, the cloth rustling as it landed in a hive on the floor. Wide-eyed Vanitas stared down his own body, hands clutching on the white shirt he wore before he pulled on the equally colorless pants suddenly wrapped around his legs.

“What the,” he whispered to himself, eyebrows drawn together as he scratched the side of his arm, just where the wide sleeve ended. In fact, his entire body itched at the foreign material. Where did his bodysuit go? He certainly had it when he fell into darkness, worn out and damaged after the fights, and also after... _after_...

A hiss escaped his lips when he lifted a hand and grabbed the side of his head.

Yeah... he'd been fading away in the darkness when something reached out for him, completely out of the blue, and he found himself dragged into even deeper realms. The light had then manifested, drawing _something_ out of him in the process, and then there was-

Vanitas' lips pulled in a snarl as he opened his eyes again, narrowed and shining with fury like melted gold. “_Sora_,” he spat, the name like venom on his tongue.

That's right. He winded up with Sora in a strange town, a junction with occasional bright, fake lights. And then they combined their powers to rip a hole into the dimensions and escape that place where time stood still. But the deal never said anything about returning to the _realm of light_. They were supposed to open a way and then split ways – Sora could do whatever the damn he wanted and Vanitas could go back to his peaceful, slow fading into nothingness.

Speaking of it... he planned to strangle the idiot for messing up.

Throwing his legs out of the bed, along with a snarl at his bare, naked feet, Vanitas got up from the bed and glared at the door. It looked ordinary enough, as if a simple lock could keep _him_ from breaking out. But before he broke it down and started his rampage, he had to get out of the clothes before he tore them to pieces. The itch was madding, his skin impossibly sensitive without the protection of the darkness. Like so many years ago, when he was created and even lacked a face.

Concentrating he closed his eyes and reached deep into his being, all the way to his heart, to summon the darkness that made his bodysuit. Nothing like a good pair of boots to kick down the door and muscle-like leather to sprout the terror in his opponents.

However the darkness... didn't really work as he wanted it to.

It felt lethargic and heavy, almost like rubber as Vanitas called to it. And just as immovable.

“Tch!” he clicked his tongue with a scowl, his eyes darting down his body as if it offended him. Perhaps it even did, considering how endlessly vulnerable it made him feel.

Whatever. He could break out without his clothes if he needed to. So instead he stretched out his hand and readied Void Gear.

… Only that even Vanita's Keyblade never came to him.

“What?!” Frustrated he released a growl and pulled his arm back, his usual stance when ready to fight, and tried once more. Again Void Gear not as much as answered his call, much like the darkness itself. Was that a result of tearing the dimensions up? Vanitas remembered almost drowning when they reached the realm of light out of sheer exhaustion. Either he was still too worn out to properly wield the darkness, or whoever took him to that room also did something to suspend his powers. Maybe even a mix of both.

_Fuck it_. He was going to get out, one way or another.

Determined Vanitas stalked toward the door, confident like a predator and just as dangerous, only to find himself run into a barrier in the middle of the room. Bewildered he placed his hand flat on the transparent resistance, the crystal glowing ever so slightly at his tough. He hadn't even _sensed_ it before he ran straight into it.

For a moment he stared at his hand as he slowly curled his fingers in, lips pulled back so far his slightly sharpened canines showed. With a wild, resonating roar he slammed his fist down against the barrier, his other hand coming up as well. For the one time things _finally_ worked out in his favor, Vanitas had to end up captive, stripped of everything but his own skin. Like a beast whose claws and fangs were pulled out before they tossed it in a glassy cage.

He kept hitting the barrier, his frustration and anger growing with every single slam, and eventually his emotions manifested around him. Floods appeared on both sides, the pain of their birth so strong it made Vanitas gasp, and then they attacked the barrier alongside him. Even in such a pathetic state he was still the master of the unversed – the thought made him sneer, his frustration washed away and replaced by thrilled anticipation and bottomless confidence.

Let the lights come; he would crush every single one of them. And he'd make Sora watch before he finished him. A worthy end for whoever dared stay between him and his goal.

The minions were still working on the barrier when the door flew open and three people swarmed inside.

Vanitas crinkled his nose at the sight. How typical of the lights to put the most _annoying_ ones as his guards. Then again, Eraqus' little students provided him with a good warm up.

“I knew it,” he heard Aqua say as she drew her Keyblade, instantly slaying two Floods with one blow. Surprisingly enough Vanitas breath hitched as their pain and emotions came back to him, hitting with more intensity that what he expected.

Something was very, very _off_.

Terra took down three more and this time the ache made Vanitas fall to his knees, arms wrapping around his hurting chest. Why was it so painful? He was used to it, endured it countless times before, and yet every Flood returning pierced his body like knifes. The white cloth was caked with blood on several spots, the wounds so fresh and burning and _it wasn't supposed to hurt so fucking much!!!_

The pain stirred and gathered in Vanitas' core and the floor turned black and crimson around him – more unversed came to replace those struck down, and every time the wielders slayed one it hit him twice as hard. The clothes were drenched in blood and cold sweat as Vanitas curled into himself, his being in such unbearable ache he felt like bursting any second.

“Stop it! He's _hurting_!”

Half-way out of it Vanitas tilted his head, one eye pressed shut as he fought the pain. He sneered at Ventus as he came closer, the barrier giving in upon his entrance.

Yeah... now he could get out.

He heard Aqua say something as he got up, his knees shaking in exhaustion, almost like when he swam through the ocean. Ventus approached him, a disgusting look of determination on his face, and Vanitas pulled his hand back to give him a punch – but then Ventus cast a spell, his lips barely moving as the magic flowed out of his Keyblade.

Instantly Vanitas felt his body go slack, his eyelids suddenly heavy as rocks, and he stumbled forward to land on his knees. “Damn... coward,” he spat when the sleep forced him down, dark blood oozing off his wounds so steadily the floor went wet under his body.

He felt how the rest of unversed were wiped from existence and returned to him, however the sting was dull and distant as he fought against the effect of the spell. Since when was he so sensitive to it? Stop, Sleep, Poison – they simply recoiled as they hit, even when he just started his training with Master Xehanort. Yet there was no denying he could barely keep from collapsing under the power of exactly such an ineffective spell.

When Ventus sat him up Vanitas put his hand against his chest, ever so weakly, and gave him a shove. He'd rather gnaw his own hand off than let those lights _touch_ him, least of all _Ventus_, but they did a decent job at suspending him. Even pushing free was impossible. However it was only a question of time before he recovered enough to fight back, until he'd crush them in his palm before he trampled on their remains. Oh, how _delicious_ their despair was going to be.

Vanitas gave one last snarl before he lost to the pull and eventually drifted back to sleep, body tingling with pain and hypersensitivity.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When the spell wore off and Vanitas woke up he found himself again in a bed, safely tucked under the blanket. With a huff he tossed it away, just like before, and examined what he saw.

The clothes were replaced; the crimson of his blood was gone, as well as the sweat, and even his wounds were healed up. But now there were strange, nearly white chains around his chest, undoubtedly another measure to suppress him even further, likely aiming for his emotions this time. In fact he was angry, but it didn't spread like a fire on dry grass as usual. It was more like a small flame blazing away, constant but never really growing in intensity. The magic in them felt weak though; once he was less exhausted, Vanitas was sure he could simply break free and release an army of unversed. For now he was just going to accumulate his sensations and wait for a chance to strike.

“How do you feel?”

Vanitas managed to mask his flinch; a good sign. It seemed he was recovering after all. Regaining control over his body and movements was just a first step.

He sat up on the bed, cross legged, and shot a glare in the direction of the voice. The room looked a bit different, as if they had moved. Not unlikely considering his unversed and the lights had wrecked his previous prison during their fight.

On the other end of the room, close to the door, Ventus sat on a chair. Arms on his knees he leaned forward as he spoke, as if he tried to get the slightest bit closer. “We healed your wounds. But we can't risk unversed roaming around.” He gave a nod in Vanitas' direction and his gaze dropped a little lower. “That's what the chains are for. With those it should be easier to control your emotions. At least that's what Master Yen Sid said.”

Control? Vanitas released a lazy chuckle at that. Buried and forced down was a better way to describe what the new binds did to him, but it was useful for the time being.

“We never expected to see you again.”

The chuckle died down, Vanitas trained his eyes back on Ventus – saw his furrowed eyebrows and the tight press of his lips. “Oh Venty.” He leaned back against the wall, enough to tilt his chin up and look just the slightest bit down as he spoke. “I didn't plan to ever look into your miserable visage either. Yet here we are.” Upon remembering the reason _why_ he got there Vanitas felt his heart throb with anger, beating a little faster as the emotion didn't swell as it liked it to. “Bring me to Sora.”

Ventus intertwined his fingers and rested his face on top of his hands. “That's not possible. He's still out of it.” Then he pushed off the chair and approached until he was a few feet away from the bed. Probably another barrier kept him from coming closer, the wall just as invisible as in the other room. “What happened?” he asked with a serious face, but his voice was sickingly soft.

Tilting his head to the side – if anything, Vanitas was honest about not wanting to ever see his face again – he shrugged a shoulder nonchalantly. “If you want to know so bad, make sure Sora wakes up,” he threw back, voice dry as the desert, but then his lips tilted in a sinister sneer as he added, “And then you can bring him here. I'd _love_ to have a little chat with him.”

For a moment Ventus just stood there, then he rose a hand and held it in the air. The contact made the crystal structure of the barrier appear, just as Vanitas expected. There was an odd shine in Ventus' blue eyes however, a mix of clear annoyance... but also bits and pieces of compassion and disgusting pity.

“Those scars on your body,” he began, completely out of the blue, “Are they from when we slayed the unversed? Or from _before_?”

As usual Vanitas just gave a shrug at that, though his arms crossed before his body, hands on his upper arms – covering one or two prominent scars that poked out from the sleeves. The question was so pointless he didn't feel like answering, not even with a snarky comeback. Those chains were doing something funny to his mind and heart, as if everything was behind several veils. Everything was suddenly dulled down, sharp agony only a mere throb and screeching voices reduced to near-silent whispers.

Ventus sighed – gently, faintly – before he spoke once more. “I talked to the others and from now on we'll keep the unversed gathered and put you to sleep before we take care of them. Hopefully that helps with the pain.”

Only through the corner of his eye Vanitas flicked his eyes back at Ventus, staring daggers at him. “If you're expecting gratitude or some shit, you better get lost, _idiot_,” he snarled, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

“You want to be alone. I get it.” Ventus gave him a quick nod of his head before he turned around and started for the door. After a few steps however he stopped and looked back over his shoulder, his bottom lip quivering slightly and clear eyes obscured with guilt. “Vanitas...” His gaze dropped as he trailed off, but after a moment he flicked his eyes back up. “I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner – what defeating the unversed did to you.”

Ventus looked so taken, so _compassionate_, how he stood there with his quiet voice. As if he cared in a twisted way, as if he now no longer enjoyed playing hero and killing unversed to impress his stupid friends. As if he was truly sorry for causing pain and anguish with his actions.

Vanitas clenched his fingers into his arms, so hard it hurt, and his lips pulled back in a growl the longer Ventus kept _looking_, and eventually his irritation and frustration grew so strong he grabbed the pillow and launched it at him. It hit the barrier and slumped to the floor like nothing. A heartbeat later two unversed emerged from the dark pool of raw emotion that had formed around Vanitas, tainting the clean covers in tar and black goo.

Without another word Ventus eventually walked out through the door.

The moment it closed, Vanitas roared until his throat hurt.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time became a blur, hours melting together until Vanitas couldn't tell if it was morning or afternoon. Not that he ever could, but the light in the room used to dim at some point. Although _that_ didn't really matter _either_ since the lights regularly used Sleep on him. Bright or not, it never failed to put him out in the matter of seconds.

Sometimes there would be a meal waiting for him when he woke up. Cold and warm dishes alike, along with bottled water.

The first few times Vanitas smeared the food across the barrier or simply threw it on a random wall, but as time ticked by he felt himself grow weaker and weaker. Back in the realm of darkness, at the edge of death, he never felt hungry; his body simply absorbed the negativity around, just enough so he didn't die from starvation. But in the homebase of lights... negative emotions were a rarity. He tried to slip a snack when they came to take care of the unversed, but the only person ever spending enough time in his prison was Ventus – and before he nourished on his _sadness and guilt_, he'd rather starve to death.

However there was still unfinished business with a certain moron he had to settle, so Vanitas eventually started eating up whatever they brought to him. He gagged at every bite, body so unused to process food, but it wasn't really new that he had to suffer through his existence. It was almost soothing actually, how some things simply didn't change. Even the sensitivity of his skin became less, the constant itch reduced to the point he didn't have to tear his own skin of to fight it.

Then one day the door opened and Aqua came in – in the company of a human-like mouse Vanitas remembered all too well.

He scowled at them from his spot on the bed, body tensing on its own accord. “Well _screw me_,” he taunted with a rise of his chin, “What an honor to see two _masters_ come to my humble cell.”

It was Aqua who summoned her Keyblade and turned it at him, eyes narrowed and lips a thin line. Suited her to detect the insult Vanitas hid in his words and his sneer only made the frustration circle faster through her body. For a moment he debated leeching it off; it surely tasted _delicious_.

However the mouse interfered – he stretched his arm out and shook his head, and unfortunately Aqua instantly submitted to it.

Pathetic. Even after all this time she changed her heart on a mere whim.

“We're gonna take ya to Master Yen Sid,” the mouse announced, voice so high pitched Vanitas turned slightly away. “It would be nice if you came without givin' us a hard time.”

For a moment Vanitas simply looked at the mouse, eyes slowly blinking, then he burst into near hysterical laughter. Was he _serious_? Asking nicely and politely if he trotted along to who-knew-where? The thought alone made it even more hilarious.

With a twist of his body Vanitas crossed his arms behind his head and fell back into the bed, facing away from them as he still chuckled. He always knew lights were naive to the point of simply dense, but this just got to a whole new level.

Suddenly the mouse yelled 'gravity' and Vanitas floated into the air, spinning a few feet above the ground – and he still chuckled to himself in the process. “Now that's _not nice_, Mr Mouse,” he mocked with a wiggle of his index-finger. When the mouse shoot him a glare, or at least an attempted one, he snorted a laugh and crossed his arms behind his head once more. Vanitas also closed his eyes against the approaching dizziness. Turning and floating at zero gravity always did something funny to his senses and he wanted to be ready to strike as soon as the spell wore off.

However the mouse seemed to be a master after all; the spell stayed up until they entered a place with several voices around. They turned all silent, surely upon seeing Vanitas, and he was set down on his feet surprisingly gently before gravity came back in a flash. It took him a moment to adjust to it, a brief sway back to regain his balance, and then Vanitas opened his eyes to take in the place.

Right in front of him was a thick, wooden desk with an ancient man sitting behind it on a chair. He had large, scrutinizing eyes that carried a certain hardness to them while he observed. His beard was much longer than Master Xehanort's used to be and he vaguely recalled how he once mentioned a retired Keyblade-master of light who settled into becoming a powerful sorcerer. Chances were high he would interfere their plans, though not by involving himself but rather give the other masters hints and clues. However standing before him Vanitas couldn't help put notice the raw _power_ oozing off the man.

Maybe his magic was even stronger than Master Xehanort's.

Slowly he turned his head, looking at the rest of what looked like a study. To his left he saw Ventus, shifting his weight a little left and right, along with a quite serious looking Riku. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed before his body and teal eyes trained closely on him. Perhaps because of his face?

Following through the idea, Vanitas winked at him – and chuckled as Riku stiffened his shoulders ever so slightly.

Moving to his right he saw Aqua and the mouse, along with two more freaks. One was a giant duck in blue clothes, the other some sort of animal in a light armor. Probably they belonged to the mouse and just happened to tag along. They didn't feel like Keyblade wielders though. But in his current state, it might be difficult to even take _them_ on.

Vanitas was aware of the urge burning inside him, the wicked call that demanded he should challenge the lights and take them down one after the other. However he wasn't as stupid as to throw himself into a hopeless fight. Three masters, a crazily strong sorcerer, and two sidekicks were too much for him – at least without his unversed and not yet at full power.

Where he in shape though...

The thought made Vanitas shiver with delight and a sneer crept over his lips, his mind briefly wandering off to images of a violent rampage. Oh, he would raze the entire base to the ground. Maybe he'd spare a person or two on a whim, probably one of them being Ventus, and he'd play with them until they broke and laid shattered on the ground-

Behind him the door opened with a creak. In a whiff of curiosity Vanitas glanced back over his shoulder – and instantly his entire being was wiped clean safe for one single, pulsing emotion:

Wrath.

Pure, unfiltered _wrath_.

“Sorry for the wait!” the new arrival cheered, still heavily leaning on a companion Vanitas failed to see. His entire focus was just drawn on him, him alone, and the stupidly wide grin. “I still can't really...” He trailed off as he, too, took a look around until his skyblue eyes locked with Vanitas'.

If anything, the grin turned even _broader_.

“Vanitas! I was hoping-” Sora began, but Vanitas cut him off with his hands closing tightly around his throat.

“_You_,” bellowed, squeezing even tighter, throwing whatever plots he had straight out of the window. Finally seeing Sora sparked a bottomless need for vengeance. For the chains, for the disgusting food he was forced to eat, for the lack of strength.

Vanitas merely got a first choke when a Keyblade dug into his side, the blow strong enough to push him slightly away. It was followed by another attack, hitting him right on the shoulder and sending him further back. Not missing a beat he regained his composure and allowed the fury to strive in his chest, the first row of unversed manifesting around his feet, as he glared at Sora – suddenly flanked by Riku and a girl in a pink dress, Keyblades rose threateningly at him.

Regardless of the challenge and forgetting about everything else, Vanitas all but pounced on them – but even before he got close countless, blindingly bright chains snaked around his chest and arms and pulled him back. Next he knew pain jolted through his body and he felt his skin tearing open, the aching enough to make his legs give in as the unversed where taken out. He landed hard on the floor, a cry escaping his lips as he fell on one knee, but the added chains kept the unversed from spawning again.

Putting every ounce of hate he could muster he glared up and snarled at Sora, his focus still on him even as he sat defeated on the floor.

In a heartbeat two Keyblades dug into the floor on either side of Vanitas' head, forming an X. Aqua and Ventus, stirred into motion as he still attempted to get up, low growls erupting from his lips as the anger still boiled in the pit of his stomach.

Sora was holding his neck and coughing as he demanded, “What's gotten into you guys?! Let Vanitas go!”

Riku merely glanced at him through the corner of his eye, hands still firmly closed around his Keyblade. “He attacked you, Sora!” His eyes trained back on Vanitas, their glares locking. “I won't let that... _freak_ near you again.”

Vanitas gave a huff as he pushed against the X in front of himself. “I don't mind getting through you vermin first.” Again he pulled his lips in a snarl, the anger mixing with madness in his insides.

“I suggest we all calm down a little first. Right, Master?”

The lights exchanged looks and the girl in pink was the first to put away her Keyblade. It dissolved into a cloud of light with a short clank.

Seeing a brief opening Vanitas pushed off the floor – but a pair of firm hands held him back by the shoulders. Even further, they pulled him slightly back before they pressed down, forcing him to sit on the floor. He shook his body to free from the hold, however the chains seemed to suck even more energy out of him; Vanitas felt tired and restricted to the point he could barely fight back.

The realization made the bile rise in his throat, but he forced it back down in favor of glaring hatefully at the sorcerer. He was still sitting idly behind his desk, yet Vanitas had no doubt he had been the one summoning the chains in the first place.

“It is good to see you back with us, Sora,” he began, his stern glance shifting off Vanitas. “But there is still a lot to discuss. Please, start off by telling us what happened after you returned Kairi to us.”

Vanitas gave him a sidelong glare, watching as Sora stepped forward with a hand grabbing his chin as he thought. “Well,” he murmured, “After I found Kairi's heart I used all I got to send her back. And then I went drifting away until Vanitas saved me.” He gave a happy grin as he turned his attention from the old man to Vanitas. “I never got around thanking you, so: Thanks a lot!”

If it wasn't for the iron hands on his shoulders, Vanitas would have leaped up. “Screw you! I never fucking _wanted_ to safe anyone!”

“Huh?!” Sora widened his eyes and frowned bewildered at him. “But you _did_ safe me!”

Vanitas gave a low growl, his hands clenching into fists beneath the chains. “All I did was get out of the shithole _you_ dragged us into. The plan was to return to the realm of darkness, _not_ bust your ass out of death!”

“What does he mean, Sora?” Riku suddenly asked and Vanitas bit down on his tongue until he tasted copper. Damn it, he got so worked up and angry he mindlessly rambled about the events he so carefully kept a secret until then. Snorting in frustration he glared down at the floor, deciding he wasn't going to add anything more to the conversation.

Sora hummed irritably loudly as he came up with a reply. “Actually I dunno. I felt a bit all over the place after using up my strength. But then I sensed something familiar and sort of reached out to it.” He stretched out his hand and grabbed the air, emphasizing what he had felt. “And then I woke up in a dark square of some town next to Vanitas.” He pulled his arm back and crossed them both behind his head as he looked up at a corner of the room. In the meantime one of his feet tapped leisurely on the ground, every soft thud making Vanitas fume harder. “We kind of figured there was no real way to break out, so we sort of combined our powers and tried to create the x-blade.”

“You _what_?!” Ventus shrieked. The noise drove a bemused chuckle from Vanitas, despite his better judgment. Then again, a noise was hardly a valid contribution to the conversation.

Sora nodded with a grin. “I kind of used to combine my light with Riku to make a super-strong attack. I thought it might work with Vanitas, too, since he's darkness and all that. And then we tore a hole into reality and got back home.”

“_Home_?” Vanitas repeated incredulously. Sora just mirrored his confusion with a shrug of his shoulders, as if it made no sense to him Vanitas felt anything _but_ home in the realm of light. “You ignorant little...!”

“You truly never fail to surprise us, Sora,” the sorcerer replied with a slight softness to his voice. Of course it instantly got to Sora's head and he rubbed the underside of his nose with a grin.

“Garwsh, I still don't really get any of this.” Vanitas tilted his head toward the noise. The new, annoying voice belonged to one of the sidekicks.

The mouse was the one who patiently explained, “Light and darkness usually oppose each other, yet there are moments were you can combine 'em. For example to make the x-blade or to release a great amount of power.” He glanced at Vanitas, then back at Sora. “But those are forces you don't mess with. It can be real dangerous.”

Happy-go-lucky as he was, Sora only gave a giggle in response. “Well, it worked out. And I couldn't have been able to pull it off without Vanitas' help. That's what matters!”

“I wouldn't say it 'worked out'.” The old sorcerer slowly stroked his beard, eyes closed. When he opened them again he fixed Sora with a stare. “By sending Kairi back, you overtaxed the capabilities of your being. As a result you drew energy from your very heart to ensure her return and that tore the same to pieces.”

Suddenly very serious, Sora felt around his chest and grabbed a fistful of fabric. “My heart... tore to pieces?” From the corner of his eye Vanitas saw the girl, Kairi, reach out and rest a hand on his shoulder.

“And as your shattered heart traveled through the dimensions, it must have at some point encountered Vanitas' equally damaged self in the darkness. Just like your heart hosted and healed countless others before, it tried to connect with Vanitas' to be whole again.” He gave his beard another stroke as his eyes fell on Vanitas, still sitting on front of his desk. “As Vanitas is a personification of your own darkness to some degree, he was likely to respond to your call.”

Vanitas easily held his stare, though his mind was working hard. He had assumed something of that sort – that Sora's and his connection had to do with how and why they winded up in the same boat. However there was still one thing bothering him and though he _wished_ to be wrong, he likely wasn't.

The way Ventus clenched his hands firmer on his shoulders only confirmed he had caught on, too.

“So does that mean,” he began, complete with his rather prominent lisp, “That Sora and Vanitas each completed the others heart when they met?”

Slowly the sorcerer nodded. “Most likely so.”

“Is _that_ why my powers are all gone?” Sora suddenly asked – and an icy shiver ran down Vanitas' back. In slow motion he turned toward him, his golden eyes wide and mouth slightly gaped as he stared blankly at Sora.

The way Sora spoke so casually of that, as if he, in a completely twisted and unlikely way, was _familiar_ with the changes on his body...

Behind him he heard the duck cackling loudly. “Just as usual, Sora comes back at level one.”

“Hey! Cut it out, Donald!” Sora threw back his a shake of his fist. But Vanitas could still only stare, bewildered, his mind only slowly putting the pieces together.

“You gotta be,” he whispered, his bottom lip trembling a little as terror threatened to settle in the core of his being. And so Vanitas did the only thing he could to drive it off:

He started laughing.

Slow and lowly at first, but soon it turned hysterical and maniac, a screeching noise from the deepest pits of darkness and maybe even lower. He threw his head back, falling against Ventus, and his entire body tingled and shook at the sheer absurdity of the situation. And everyone around him fell silent, Sora even lost his signature grin, some looked at Vanitas completely _horrified_, and he drank up their fear and uneasiness like an elixir as he felt stronger than he had in the last few days all together.

He was still chuckling away, tears in his eyes from the intensity, when Riku released an audible breath. “I think he's lost it,” he whispered, guards up, _scared_. Vanitas presented him a sneer in return, another laugh rumbling in his chest when Riku slightly backed away once their eyes met.

“What does this new situation mean for Sora and Ven?” Aqua suddenly threw in, and Vanitas regarded her with a bemused grin. She glared back at him, he responded with a wink before chuckling away once more. Maybe he _did_ lose it. Then again, he had always been batshit crazy. That came all inclusive when you were torn and abused by a sadistic master for years on end, only to have it all start over again in a brighter environment.

The old sorcerer hummed in thought. “As their ties run deep in unique ways, the results are equally unique and unpredictable. I share your concern for their safety, Master Aqua.” He looked at Sora for a while, then Ventus, before his gaze fell on Vanitas once again. “For now we should keep a close eye on their... developments.”

“And what should we do about Vanitas?” Riku asked, speaking out the words that undoubtedly roamed through everyone's mind one way or another.

With a sneer Vanitas moved in the chains, making them jingle. “You could release me. I'd be out of your way in _no time._”

“You wish,” Aqua hissed down at him.

“Actually... why not?”

Everyone, including Vanitas, whipped their head around to Sora.

He stood there, arms now crossed before his chest and eyes closed. “When his powers are sealed off like mine, he won't be much of a threat, right?” Sora's eyelids parted again, revealing a vibrant blue, as he uncrossed his arms and instead placed a hand flat on his chest. “And I'm sure I rubbed off on him when our hearts touched. If given the chance, Vanitas might turn out to be one of us.” Suddenly his face lit up and he clenched both hands into fists while his shoulders started to tremble. “Maybe we could train to wield a Keyblade _together_! Wouldn't that be _awesome_?!” His head whipped toward him, complete with excited grin in place, as if he just waited for Vanitas to confirm his idea.

“As. If,” he spat with a dark scowl. “What makes you believe _I_ lost my powers? Give me some rest and I'll shred you to pieces with my bare hands.”

He had to, if his lack of control over the darkness wasn't temporal...

Quickly Vanitas discarded the thought – before fear laid its icy claw around his heart again.

“Sora might have a point,” Ventus, surprisingly, threw in. Instantly Vanitas regarded him with a sidelong glare, but he remained completely unfazed. “I still believe we can change when given the choice. I got mine with Sora back then.” He gave Sora a fond smile, filled with gratitude. “This might be the second chance for Vanitas – to prove there is more to him than what meets the eye.”

“Cut your shit,” Vanitas spat with a curl of his lips. Who did they think they were? Maybe they shared some pieces, but by the end of the day he remained the shadow their lights cast. He'd gladly remind both of them what that meant, if they were too dense to understand it themselves.

“But Vanitaaas!” God, he _hated_ how Sora dragged out the last part of his name. He kept doing that when they were trapped, too. “You can't tell me you were happy with how things were! I know you weren't!”

A fresh wave of anger welling up in his heart, Vanitas turned slightly in Sora's direction. “I wasn't. And guess why?” He leaned slightly up, his hands itching to wrap around Sora's throat again. “Because _I can't be happy_, you ignorant moron. I'm a twisted monster made purely of darkness. Happiness was never an option for me, and never will be.”

Finally his words seemed to strike; the almost painful positiveness faded to concern, and eventually pity. For what exactly Vanitas didn't know and neither cared to find out. It was just satisfying to see Sora's perfect little world of light crumble away in the face of harsh reality. He would have loved to break it some more, wack it until it completely collapsed in itself, but exhaustion was pulling on him. The chains did a great job of keeping him at bay and he was tired of all the infuriating people roam through the room and discuss his fate like they knew the slightest thing about him.

“I say let's give it a shot.”

Suddenly Kairi stepped forward, just enough to appear in Vanitas' view as he glared up at Sora. She was so pure, so radiant, even more so than _Ventus_ – and he had a hard time keeping from turning away from the blinding light.

“Sora was never wrong when it came to people's hearts. So if he thinks there is good in Vanitas, I believe him, too.” Again she reached out and squeezed Sora's shoulder. He all but beamed at her for the gesture.

Oddly enough, her madness was contagious.

“It's true Sora was never wrong about people, myself included,” Riku said as he approached and laid his own hand on Sora's other shoulder. “Count me in.”

Baffled Vanitas glanced between the three, a protest on his tongue when Aqua cut in even before him.

“Have you gone crazy? We're not talking about a mislead kid. This is _Vanitas_.” He didn't need to look at her to feel the daggers of her glare burning into his back and hear her bones clatter in fear. He'd had loved to snack on it, but he was too tired to even try.

“I agree with Aqua. We shouldn't forget how dangerous it is,” the mouse contributed, “But Master Yen Sid is right, too. We need to learn more before jumpin' to conclusions.”

Pumped again, Sora threw his arms up in victory. “Alright! Mission Vanitas-friend is a go!”

“Stop it!” Vanitas eventually yelled, his voice high-pitched and enraged. “Who do you think you are, deciding over my head like that?!” He pushed away from Ventus and finally got on his legs, face at the group while he slowly backed away into one of the corners. “This isn't a fucking game to humor you. And if you _think_ so, _trust me_, the last laugh will be on _me_.”

The group fell silent and the air carried a sudden tension, as if all that was needed was one wrong movement to escalate the entire situation.

The old man named Yen Sid was the one breaking the eerie silence at some point.

“This day has been eventful enough. Both Sora and Vanitas need more rest before anything else. Kairi, Mickey.” The two straightened upon hearing their names. “Please take them back to their rooms. The masters and I will see how to proceed tomorrow.” For a moment he regarded Vanitas with a hard stare. “Mickey, you can also remove the chains once you're back inside the barrier.”

Mickey nodded before he turned toward Vanitas. “Will ya come along this time?” he asked, not even bothering to summon his Keyblade. With a huff Vanitas strolled passed him and started for the door. As he walked by Ventus he gave him a shove with his shoulder, though he never stopped in his tracks. When Mickey caught up to open the door – Vanitas would have loved to just kick it open, but he didn't trust his balance yet – he tilted his head toward Sora one last time, saw him still flanked by his 'friends'.

He was going to take revenge. That insignificant speck would pay with everything he had. Vanitas would shatter his whole world, break in every single pillar in his life, and when he was done Sora was going to wish they never ever crossed paths.

As he had announced – the last laugh was on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I really enjoyed working on this chap. With the canon-ending and the Yozora-movie I came up with this, hopefully plausible, idea of Vanitas and Sora having to tear a hole into reality itself to make it back. 
> 
> And remember how conveniently Sora ALWAYS falls back to lvl 1 after using a ton of power?  
Yeah. Super annoying. And now he dragged Vanitas into it, too xD  
I did some research on the Unversed for this fic, so in the later chaps Vanitas will actually summon them according to his emotions.  
There won't be a certain line saying it - aka Floods are result of anger/irritation - but I'll try to keep them coming fitting to the mood. 
> 
> The next part might take a bit longer to come, it's been a bit chunky <.< 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and see you in the next chap :D 
> 
> regards,  
-T


	3. Examinations

A few days passed, mostly spent with sleep and recovery, and Vanitas felt like he had regained some sort of routine. Food came and left, every bite still a fight against his insides, but otherwise he was on his own safe for the occasional pestering visit from Ventus. Even as Vanitas refused to reply he kept talking, said something about Sora traveling the worlds soon while Aqua and Terra would take him back to the Land of Departure. However the masters kept it a secret what they had in mind for Vanitas.

Not that he cared. For now, rest was the absolute priority for Vanitas – and thanks to the useful chains the unversed didn't swarm the area, which again gave the lights no reason to come disturb him. Sometimes it was harder to push his sensations back though, especially when his mind wandered off and he thought too much; about his missing strength, about the lack of control, about how he needed to get both back so very badly. Mostly for himself, but also out of _agonizing fear_.

Master Xehanort was long gone, but Vanitas couldn't shake off the anxiety of seeing a shadow loom over him from behind, always followed by almost unbearable pain. Memories of the darkest time of his life haunted him, memories of his 'training'. He only managed to tame the angst when he was brutally strong; until then, he found himself sleeping with one eye open and constant shivers down his spine.

If it wasn't for the chains, the room would be constantly swarmed with manifests of those icy sensations.

One day the door opened and Mickey came in, closely followed by Riku. The routine was broken at last.

“Alright Vanitas, time to scoot off!” Mickey announced, way too good-natured for his taste. But for the moment Vanitas planned to play along, give in to their agenda. As long as he was surrounded by lights he had to be _smart_ about his actions. Soon enough they would let their guard down, naively believing he was teaming up with them, and then he got his opening for a strike.

Vanitas waited as Riku walked closer to the barrier, something shiny in his hands on top of a pile of clothes. “Once you got these on yourself, we'll wait in front of the door for you.” His voice was calm, but his eyes shone with a sharp concentration as the barrier opened up a little, just enough to let him in. Even his steps were cautious and slow as he approached, muscles tensed and ready.

A sneer curled over Vanitas lips. For a master, Riku still responded entertainingly strong – a twitch here, a gauging glance there. Every move carefully chosen while avoiding sudden jerks, like Vanitas was a wild animal and ready to pounce.

It was going to be so much fun messing with him.

Too soon the little game of creeping ended and Riku stood in front of the bed, Vanitas still firmly sitting on it. He saw no real point meeting half-way, especially since it was yet unspecified what 'these' actually was. Up close it looked like something of the same texture as the chains. More restrictions?

“Alright. Stretch your arms out.” When Vanitas arched a brow at him, Riku added, “It won't hurt. I promise.”

With a shrug Vanitas lifted his arms and stretched them out. After all, he _did_ decide on playing nice for a little while.

As Riku said, it didn't hurt when the slightly glowing, somewhat warm shackles were closed around each of his wrists. They didn't have any chains connecting them, almost like bracelets actually, and Vanitas couldn't really notice any difference from wearing them. Or maybe the effect hadn't kicked in yet?

“Now your feet,” Riku said and slowly went down on one knee, another pair of shackles on the floor next to him.

Sneering Vanitas swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stretched his left foot towards him. “What are they for?” he eventually asked while he drank up the view. It certainly had something, having one of the strongest wielders of light kneel by his feet. Maybe he should kick his foot against his face? Just for good measure.

Riku motioned for his other foot. “They keep you from using the dark corridors.” As he closed the last shackle he got back up, his eyes constantly trained on golden ones. “Now get changed. We'll be on the other side of the door.” Slowly he waved his hand and the chains around Vanitas' chest dissolved into thin air with a clatter, much like when a Keyblade was send back.

The sudden rush of emotions had Vanitas gasp and grab his chest with one hand, the air around him darkening ever so slightly as unversed tried to manifest. Instantly Riku made a step forward, his hand twitching, however he just waved him off, the darkness slowly retreating back into his body.

It was just a little overwhelming when he wasn't prepared. Eventually Vanitas had to get used controlling his emotions on his own again, so now was as good as a time as ever to start. At least he got the confirmation the shackles were definitely not suppressing his heart the way the chains did.

“Okay. See you in a bit,” Riku responded before finally walking off, followed by Mickey who had been guarding the situation from some distance.

Once the door closed Vanitas released a deep breath and leaned back a little. He took a moment to adjust to the sensations, detect his feelings. There was the underlining anger he knew so well, unfortunately the sparks of fear he'd rather force back into the furthers corner of his heart, and a couple of other things which somehow blurred together.

Good. He could handle that.

Tentatively Vanitas stretched out one arm and turned his wrist in different directions. The shackles were lighter than they looked and filled with magic. Would they also affect how he used his Keyblade?

That was... If he ever managed to summon it again.

The anxiety was crawling back up, so Vanitas moved to check on the clothes and distract. A simple shirt, _finally_ in black, a jacket with short sleeves and a pair of pockets on the stomach held in dark-red, a pair of pants that ended in a dark-gray check pattern along with a belt, and even a pair of solid shoes and black socks. The materials felt weird on his skin as Vanitas got changed, really nothing like his combat suit, but after the sickly white stuff he was forced to wear all the time he considered it an upgrade nonetheless.

It was a tight fit getting the wrist through the arms of the jacket but he managed in the end – unlike with the shoes.

At first Vanitas couldn't even put them on. They were way too tight, even as he pulled the opening apart, but eventually he figured out he had to loose the knot on them first. However once he fit inside... he had no idea how to tie them again. Shoelaces were never something he had to bother with in the past. Hell, he didn't even _wear_ shoes! His footwear was simply a thicker bottom while the rest of his feet were simply wrapped in his bodysuit.

But now the darkness was failing him and he had no real choice but deal with what he got.

For a while he pulled on the laces, sort of fitting the shoe around his foot, but Vanitas had not the slightest clue how to handle the knot. He knew how to make a basic one, but it was way too high so the shoe kept opening up and almost falling off again. And so he tried again – with the same result, though the knot was slightly lower on the strings this time.

After the third attempt Vanitas gritted his teeth and had a Flood by his feet, but the creature was just as clueless as him about shoes, which made him even _angrier_. At some point he started cursing colorfully while his fingers fumbled with the shoelaces. Time was ticking away and for a moment he wondered when the lights would walk in on him – they _had_ to, at some point – and another Flood had already appeared as well and the _damn shoes just wouldn't_-

By the time a third Flood manifested Vanitas tore the shoes off with a roar and tossed them across the room. Hands clenched into fists and fuming he jumped up from the bed and glared down at his socked feet, the unversed scampering around him, and his lips pulled back in a snarl the longer he thought about the absurdity of the entire situation and how a mere _piece of clothe_ wasn't going to make him look like a _complete_ _imbecile_.

Almost burning with wrath Vanitas channeled the negativity and concentrated – and finally, after what felt like an eternity, the darkness _responded_.

Obediently it gathered by his feet and curled around him, turning hard enough to touch as it morphed into a pair of shining black boots. They didn't reach up too far, mostly because of the shackles neatly closed around his ankles, but they matched the outfit and served their purpose.

“That's more like it,” Vanitas sneered as he looked up, finding the door open and two pairs of eyes staring back at him dumbfounded. Lifting his chin the slightest bit higher he started for the door, trampling down two Floods as he walked while the third had crawled up his body and hung on his shoulder like a docile pet. Gently Vanitas rested his hand on its back, holding it so it wouldn't slip off, and casually exited the room with his head carried high.

Beware, lights: Vanitas was coming back.

… However once they set off, he realized there was still quite a way to go.

At first he thought it was a joke. They had approached a cube-ish, vibrantly colored, and downright ugly _something_ just outside what turned out to be a tower. Then Mickey and Riku climbed into the thing, had the guts to label it a _ship_, and prompted him to get in as well.

Vanitas seriously doubted it could as much as lift into the air – and had the courtesy to tell them so – but they insisted he had to come in so they could fly to another world. He wondered if they managed to get as far as the orbit in that thing, let alone in one piece, however at some point Riku pulled him in. Knowing it would only end in pointless discussions if he refused, Vanitas simply reminded himself he would have been forced on board anyway and things would be over faster if he just played along.

Mickey got him buckled up in one of the seats as Riku started the engine, the entire thing trembling at the force of it. Vanitas found himself slaying his remaining Flood so the pain and wave of anger distracted him from the growing fear in his gut as well as the bottomless regret over most of his decisions since the moment he met Sora in the realm of darkness.

That damn idiot was going to pay so, _so much_.

With a huge portion of luck they somehow made it to another world without crashing, though the flight made Vanitas sick in between. He had never been a co-driver in his life, the power of darkness and the corridors getting him easily from here to there, and having someone else control his path was unsettling and a little disturbing... Especially in a vehicle that looked like a kid's drawing.

It took him a moment before he felt well enough to get up after they landed, Riku chuckling right into his face as he left, but eventually Vanitas got out into the open. The place looked somewhat familiar; a huge white building with gardens up the front and a plaza nearby, a huge fountain in its middle. Then Vanitas remembered:

Radiant Garden. On the plaza in the middle of the town he had his first fight against Aqua.

He was still taking a look around when a man approached them. He spoke to Riku and Mickey and cast sidelong glances at Vanitas, but he ignored them all. Funny looks were something he was used to, since the first time he ever came to.

Vanitas slipped his hands into the convenient pockets of his jacket as he crinkled his nose. Flowers were blooming on the several patches of grass, their smell strong and heavy as they hit his nose. Quite a contrast to his experiences with the helmet, but he refused to bend to the discomfort. He'd endure the stench until he got used to it, just like he did with the pain that came by absorbing or chopping an unversed.

“Hey Vanitas, come here for a sec!”

At Riku's call he tilted his head toward the group, simply staring for a moment. “I'm not a dog you can whistle for,” Vanitas threw back and turned the other way. One of his hands pulled out of the pocket and instead moved to his head, pulling the hood over his skull. The sun was unpleasant and too strong for its own good, or maybe it was that way in Radiant Garden. The hood felt strange against his hair and skin, shielding but not the same way his helmet did.

Vanitas hadn't moved from his spot as he noticed the approaching steps – and eventually Riku laid his arm around his shoulders and turned him around, the grip keeping him in place. “Listen,” he started, lowly for only Vanitas to hear, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

After a first brief struggle at the sudden touch, Vanitas remained in the curve of Riku's arm and used the closeness to level him with a piercing glare. “Do you lights even know how the 'hard way' goes?” he taunted, lips pulled in a sneer. Surprising enough Riku easily withstood his glare, even inched ever so slightly closer in challenge, and so Vanitas gave in – and jabbed his elbow hard into his ribs.

Riku instantly took a step back with a grunt and Vanitas turned his head the other way, teeth clamped down on the inside of his cheek. The hit had hurt him just as much, the bit of loose clothes nothing like the support he knew from his combat suit.

Damn it. Even the lights' clothing was soft, just like everything else about them

A chuckle drew his attention back to the group and he arched an eyebrow at a familiar face. “Vexen, wasn't it?” He looked slightly different wearing only white, paler. Then again, Vanitas never paid him enough attention to really see any difference in appearance.

“I actually go by Even.” He gave a slight bow, but Vanitas didn't as much as return a greeting gesture. It wasn't a good sign having a scientist around, less so in the hometown of Ansem the Wise. His studies about the human heart were often references in Master Xehanort's methods and Vanitas at least _suspected_ it also smoothed the path that had him and Ventus getting torn apart.

Did they come here... to perform experiments on him?

Unaware of it Vanitas took a small step back, the muscles in his back tensing while he called out to the darkness. Not forceful enough to cause any attention; just a small nudge to see if it was there and awake, ready in case he had to make a break for it.

It was one thing being captive of the lights. But he'd never, under any circumstances, become their _test subject_.

Suddenly Riku appeared in the side of his vision and he flinched, his fingers twitching inside his pockets as he gauged if Void Gear would come if he summoned it. But his face was relaxed with an edge of seriousness to it, teal eyes clear as they locked with Vanitas'.

“Nobody here will hurt you. I give you my word on that.” The words were accompanied by a nod of his head and a lopsided smirk, lacking the bite and arrogance Vanitas associated with the gesture. It was somewhat... encouraging instead. As if he wanted to calm down a close friend, and maybe he thought he did given Vanitas' all too familiar face.

He couldn't help but lash out to that.

“Spare your breath.” Briefly Vanitas crinkled his nose, his upper lip twitching. “I'm not your little puppy that needs _reassurance_ when it's time to go see the doctor. I never asked for this,” he swiftly pulled a hand out and pointed at his own face, “So don't go assuming I'm anything like _him_.”

Vanitas could see his words stung; ever so slightly the light faded from Riku's eyes, replaced by cold realization, and for a moment he broke their eye-contact.

Locking his yaw Vanitas turned away once more, the anger swirling in his center. He knew he had been right – by the end of the day, every little bit of kindness he received from the lights had to do with anything but himself. The only one who looked beyond all was Aqua, she acted accordingly and from the bottom of her heart. The others would do well by learning a lesson from her sincerity.

What would he give to be back in the realm of darkness, alone and slowly dying.

Even gave a cough to get their attention back. “It's true we don't plan to hurt you in any way. We'll just run a few tests and see if we can understand the structure of your heart better that way.” He motioned at the castle up ahead. “Ienzo will be in charge of everything. I'll mostly compare the results to my studies about nobodies and replicas.”

“I'm neither of those,” Vanitas coldly shot back, “So what's the point?”

This time it was Mickey who replied – he was so short and insignificant, Vanitas hadn't as much as noticed he was part of the group, too.

“You're certainly not a nobody or replica,” he began with his abnormally high voice, “But you're not exactly human either. If there are parallels to somethin' we know, it'll help us understand ya better.” He crossed short arms before his chest and smiled so large his eyes closed as well. “Maybe there's even a way to stop your body from creatin' unversed.”

Instantly Vanitas lifted his defenses up, his hands slipping out of the pockets. “You won't change _anything_ about my body,” he bellowed with narrowed eyes. Until the darkness obeyed his will, the unversed where the only thing he could use to fight. They had always been part of him and his flawed being, tools to make him stronger and more of a danger to the lights. Removing them from existence for good would be like cutting off his arm.

Without the unversed... Who would ever stand by his side?

Vanitas felt his emotions slipping away, overwhelmed by the uneasiness and sudden spark of loneliness welling up in his fractured heart. They threatened to take over his mind and break free, the air cracking around him as he struggled for control.

Then, as he clenched his fingers into shaking fists, a familiar jolt ran through his body.

Ever so slightly he parted the fingers of his right hand – and instantly Void Gear appeared in his palm. It felt lighter than usual, another mark of his lost power, but the handle fit so perfectly it still felt like an extension of his being.

A cruel sneer on his lips he made a single step forward, ready to lift his Keyblade in combat, however stopped once the familiar metallic bang of blades hitting reached his ears. Nonchalantly he tilted his head to the right and looked Riku straight in the eye, saw the brief tension in his arm as he used his Keyblade, a solid, long piece made for powerful clashes, to keep him down.

After a moment Riku shook his head a little and Vanitas pondered on his chances of taking on two masters in the plaza. However he concluded it was enough of a victory he managed to summon Void Gear as it was, so he shrugged his shoulders and allowed his Keyblade to fade back into the darkness for later. His point had come across – and the bits of fear he sensed in the people around made it all the more worth it.

“Please refrain from using Keyblades inside the castle,” Even threw in with a heavy sigh and rubbed his face with one hand. “We still haven't fully fixed the wing Roxas broke during the last test. More repairs is the last we need now.” With that he started for the castle, motioning them to follow.

Mickey made himself ready to follow, but before he walked off he turned his face to Vanitas. “Sorry if I unsettled ya. Wasn't my intention.”

Vanitas simply huffed at the apology and followed Vexen – or Even or however he called himself now – inside without as much as looking around. While it was convenient he managed to regain some of his powers back, the display of emotions he'd rather forget about. Showing something, be it a comment or attack, got to him was a weakness he couldn't afford, an unnecessary opening he had to close before the lights had a chance to strike.

Before _anyone_ had the chance to strike.

They passed a couple of corridors and took a few stairs, though Vanitas didn't really bother with memorizing the way. The castle was a mess of a maze he had no intentions solving. From what he could tell the walls weren't overly thick and had many windows; if he had to get out, he'd just break a hole into them or bust through the glass into the open.

Eventually they passed through a set of double-doors into a large, dark room. Countless monitors filled two walls and in the middle was a simple, white divan bed with some sort of huge illuminated circle behind it.

While Vanitas found the darkness of the room very appealing, he couldn't deny the agitation prickling on his skin. There weren't many devices around but it still gave off the unmistakable vibe of twisted laboratory, just like everything in relation to researches about the heart had something sinister... So sinister that even the darkness in his core stirred and twisted.

“Ienzo, is everything ready?”

At Even's call a man stepped forward, some kind of flat device in his hand. He wore the same white coat with the little lilac scarf on the base of his neck. The face was mostly hidden behind messy bangs of his hair, making it hard to as much as look him in the eye.

“Everything is se- _oh_!” When he spoke he looked up for the first time and cut himself off as he spotted Vanitas. Two large steps later Ienzo stood right in front of him, his head moving a little as he scrutinized his face without much of a thought about space.

A low snarl and Ienzo backed off into a reasonable distance.

“Forgive me. I heard you look alike Sora, but seeing it in person...” He trailed off and murmured something while he tapped around on the device. Vanitas only caught a few bits in between, a 'mirror image' here and 'reflection' there, but as he was only playing along he didn't waste his time following. The purpose of this entire procedure was to build a solid act to trick the lights into believing he was docile; if they found a way to restore his powers, it was merely a bonus.

After a while of aimlessly wandering around the lab – Vanitas never did well with standing still – self-talker Ienzo suddenly addressed him. “Vanitas, correct? We'll start the examination now,” he announced and motioned to the divan. “First some physical stuff. Please remove your clothes from the waist up and take a seat.”

A little hesitant Vanitas approached the white divan, the thought of having to expose himself unsettling, however not to the point he couldn't push it away. The clothing didn't protect him anyway, so there wasn't a real difference between that and nude. No big deal.

Quickly he undid the zipper of the jacket and shrugged it off, soon followed by the black shirt. It gave a bit of resistance, the material stuck to the wound from when he killed the unversed inside the ship. The skin was tender and irritated, nothing like when he wore the bodysuit, but the blood had already stopped flowing. Years of scars over scars made his flesh tough and kept new cuts fairly shallow, though it still hurt more than what he was used to.

However to the others it seemed like more of a deal.

Ienzo had gasped loudly when he dropped the shirt and jacket to the ground. Even's face had hardened just briefly, probably since he was used to worse sights thanks to his dubious research-methods. Vanitas ignored the two pair of eyes boring into his back, though he gave an audible growl over his shoulder when one of them suddenly cast a Vita-spell on him. More aggressive than before he stamped to the divan and sat into it, arms crossed before his chest as he glared at Mickey and Riku by the door.

“Uhm.” Briefly Vanitas tilted his head to Ienzo. “These need to go on your chest for the scan,” he said and held up a bundle of cables, patches on their end. They looked weird and foreign, however not exactly harmful, though he couldn't be completely sure about that. Maybe the cords were actually there to deliver jolts?

For a moment Vanitas thought about casting out a threat, but then he remembered how he rubbed into Riku's face how he was not 'afraid to go see the doctor' and decided against it. If he lashed out it would only imply he was _afraid_ in some way.

Besides – he didn't need to warn people before he beat them with Void Gear anyway.

Uncrossing his arms he made room for Ienzo. The patches were cold and odd on his skin, yet Vanitas resisted the urge to yank them off. He kept glaring at Ienzo the entire time as he worked and only looked down when he walked off to one of the screen instead.

That was when Vanitas _noticed_.

Under the bright overhead light he realized there were _far less_ scars marking his body. The smaller ones were gone completely while the larger, deeper ones had faded just a bit. Only the scar in the middle of his chest, where he and Ventus were originally torn in two, looked exactly the same. How had he missed that until then?

Absently Vanitas traced one of the scars over his abdomen. The touch of his own fingertips was tickling, yet he carefully followed the line of the pale, hard tissue. Where the scar ran his skin was slightly raised and overall less sensitive than the rest, but the contrast was still a bit weaker than it used to.

Was that a result of his heart merging with Sora's? Or from his fading in the darkness? In either case, it wasn't that surprising new wounds hurt so much now. The years of poor treatment and harsh training had turned most of his skin tough as leather, but now the protective layer was gone, just like his bodysuit.

Still mesmerized he sat up a little and started counting the scars. One, two near his stomach, three curled around his side, four reached all the way up to his shoulder, five went over his biceps... Did the one near his heart count, too? Probably not, it had always been-

“Vanitas?”

Torn out of his trance he looked up and found _everyone_ in the lab was staring at him. For a moment Vanitas darted golden eyes between them, fingers still firmly held on two scars on his chest, and for whatever reason the tips of his ears suddenly felt warm. With an awkward wave of his hands he crossed his arms before his chest again, then realized he was pulling on the pads, and eventually settled by laying his hands a bit clumsily between his legs as he nonchalantly turned his face to a random corner of the room.

Damn it. He allowed himself to get carried away by curiosity, even in the presence of others. That was one of the few traits which where neither light nor darkness, and also one of the first things Master Xehanort drubbed out of him at the very start of the training. Yet Vanitas held a small fracture of it to himself; it often swung along when he waited for a result, not only the pleasure of seeing people in discomfort driving him but also the curiosity on how the events would unfold.

At least nobody called him out on it, so Vanitas carefully tugged his curiosity back in. He could always check his body when he was alone.

“Okay, I think this is enough data for now.” Ienzo tapped on his device and turned back to Vanitas to remove the patches. “Please get dressed again. Next is the psychological examination.”

Vanitas hopped off the divan and bend down to get his clothes, yet he kept one of his brows constantly arched. All he did was lay around with the patches on his chest – and they still got some information from it?

After he pulled the shirt over his head and threw the jacket over his shoulder – it was warm in the lab, or at least too much for another layer of clothe – Ienzo handed him a stack of paper along with a pen. “Please fill out these forms. If you don't know how to respond, just mark the question and we will talk about those later.”

The stack felt heavy in Vanitas' hand and he turned his wrist, taking a look. Black ink on white paper, a couple of boxes in between. It seemed the ink had some sort of order to it, however all he saw in it was unintelligible scribbles. Tentatively he reached for the stack with his other hand and held a corner with his thumb while he flapped through it. The black and white pattern continued all the way to the last page.

He turned the stack back over to page one and looked up, waiting for something to happen. However the group remained silent, Ienzo engrossed in his device while the others just gazed at him, Even with near obsessive interest glimmering in his eyes.

It was also him who eventually approached with the question Vanitas somewhat saw already coming:

“Could it be you don't know how to write or read?”

Vanitas merely shrugged one shoulder as he let the stack of papers simply fall out of his hand. “I don't waste my time with nonsense,” he replied matter-of-factly, his now free hand slipping into a pocket in his pants. Master Xehanort had plenty of things to teach, but they all aimed on making him strong and ruthless. There was never a need for him to write anything and the Badlands weren't exactly known for its libraries. And soon there was no space left in his head to bother about neglected education.

Surprising enough, Even's features remained exactly the same upon the discovery – unlike Riku, who suddenly wore a grim scowl. “We can go over the forms together. There is also a class currently teaching-”

“No need for that,” Vanitas interrupted him roughly. While it was tempting to learn how to at least read books, he was not going to jump at their every offer. He came around without the abilities before – writing and reading was not going to get him any advantages in battle.

With a scuffle of his shoes Riku approached them. “You should really consider it, Vanitas. Knowle-”

“I. Said. No.” Snarling Vanitas whipped his head around and shot a hard glare at Riku. “I have no need for education from _lights_,” he spat the last word like an insult, “Besides, I doubt I could learn anything from you pathetic weaklings anyway.”

He could see how his taunting hit home – how Riku tensed his shoulders and took deep, calming breaths, but the hand he used to wield his Keyblade twitched anyway. “Why are you so damn difficult,” he muttered under his breath, but quickly regained his composure. “We will be around for a while anyway. You might as well kill some time actually _improving_ your living-standards.”

“Who are _you_ to tell _me_ to improve my life?!” Taking a step forward Vanitas clenched his hands into fists, the jacket slipping off his shoulder. He could feel his emotions welling up, but in all honesty, he didn't give two shits about that.

“I was _fine_ the way I was! Actually, no, I was _fantastic_! For the first time of my life I was _at peace_ while I slowly faded in the real of darkness!”

He made another step toward Riku, the darkness gathering by his feet and manifesting while he gestured with his hands.

“But then... But then that _insignificant speck_ came along and tore it all away from me!”

Vanitas felt how his unversed readied themselves, just heartbeats from appearing in the lab, yet he kept going and all but shouted, “The best part of my life was _when I was dying_!”

Suddenly his head throbbed with pain and something crawled up his throat. Gagging Vanitas fell to his knees, one hand clapped over his mouth while his other curled around his abdomen, his entire being trying to hold back the unavoidable. But the bile and tar and manifested emotions were already in his mouth, spilling forth from between his fingers and landing on the floor in fat, black drops.

Vanitas pressed his eyes shut, his entire being convulsing and burning, and then he could hardly breathe and let everything out as he vomited onto the cold floor. His shirt got strained and some got on his pants as well when the half-firm, half-liquid mass squirmed and moved before it eventually turned into a Flood.

As soon as its red eyes fully developed it jumped at Riku, however Vanitas barely noticed it. He had to press his hand onto the floor to keep from keeling over, his vision spinning and insides flaring with pain. It was always much worse when the unversed came directly from his core, tearing their way out while he lost himself in hysteria. Usually he managed to wrestle the emotions back down, but he got so invested this time he noticed it too late to react.

His eyes were glazed as he tilted his head and saw both Mickey and Riku with their Keyblades, but then one of them cast a Sleep-spell and he collapsed, eyes falling shut and slumber pulling him into the peaceful void only darkness could provide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> A little update before I'm out of town lol.   
This part got a bit narrative, but I hope I could keep it brief. 
> 
> I tweaked a few parts as I'm also reading the BBS-novel currently, which gives delightfully much away of Vanitas :D  
However the struggle with the shoes was my idea. I just figured he wouldn't know how to handle many everyday things, like flying in a gummiship or something like tieing his shoes.   
There will be more such of those struggles coming. Living with the lights is truly a burden. 
> 
> The next chap will be a bit more intense. Maybe I'll adjust some of the tags, too.   
Actually, no, I WILL adjust the tags. 
> 
> Regards and have a good time,  
-T


	4. Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING 
> 
> Self-Abuse/Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts

The sun burned down as strong as fire and just as merciless. It blinded Vanitas even when he kept his eyes closed, tormenting him like a sworn enemy. He tried to move but failed, the clothes so tight around his body he could hardly breathe, the metal of his helmet digging deep into his skin with every faint gasp. With watery golden eyes he stared at the sky, his vision filled by a mix of painful white and deep blue beneath a dark veil – and then a shadow fell over his face, looming maliciously above him.

“You're disgustingly weak,” the familiar, terrifying voice rasped.

Breath hitched Vanitas clenched his hand tighter around the haft of Void Gear while his entire body screamed with agony and terror, his arm so endlessly heavy as he lifted it in a desperate attempt to defend himself.

The Keyblade flew away with a loud clatter, breaking into a million fragments of darkness while his arm fell back to the earth. The blow had been so strong Vanitas felt his very bones ring from the impact alone, just at the very edge of breaking.

The shadow moved before him, No Name lifted high into the air as cruel, hard amber glared down at him.

“If you stay so weak,” he said, the eyes curling upwards almost delightfully, “You'll perish.”

The moment the Keyblade would have landed on his chest Vanitas jolted out of sleep, a scream on his lips. Even before anything else came into focus he felt fresh waves of tar dribbling up his throat and he gagged, shoulders jerking as more and more kept coming until his entire vision was filled with black goo. Eventually a lone Hareraiser emerged from the mass which he instinctively cradled against his chest, heart hammering wild in his chest and eyes wide in shock.

A nightmare. Just a nightmare. A twisted memory from long ago that was still lurking in the darkness of his mind, its ugly head stretched out from the abyss.

Suddenly there was a creak from his right and Vanitas whipped his head around, arm outstretched as he summoned Void Gear. His vision was still a little blurry as he stared at what turned out to be a doorway, a man in red and white standing in it.

For a moment the man turned back around and said, “You can copy the pages five to seven now. Once you're done, you're dismissed.”

And then he stepped in and closed the door gently behind himself.

Vanitas was still orientating as the Hareraiser yipped lowly against his chest. He was in colorful room with big windows that reached all the way from the ceiling to almost the floor. One side was filled with books in all sorts of sizes and shapes, hardly any spot left for more, and a large painting hung right next to another bookshelf full of papers. Two thick chairs with red cloth were nestled between the spaces and a huge, heavy looking desk marked the middle of the office. Vanitas himself was in a divan covered in the same red cloth as the chairs, a now soiled white coat draped over his lower half.

“You can relax, Vanitas. I assume you had a nightmare,” the man said, drawing his attention. His face was neutral at best, small wrinkles covering his eyes and forehead while neatly trimmed blond and partly white hair was brushed back. He also had a beard, the edges cut perfectly, so very unlike Master Xehanort's. Yet he looked familiar in a way, though the white coat suggested he was a scientist like Even, but what made things eventually click into place was the crimson red scarf he wore around his neck.

With a last, deep exhale Vanitas sent Void Gear back into darkness. “You're Ansem the Wise,” he whispered, just the slightest bit calmer than before. As far as he remembered Ansem was just a regular human with an obsession for hearts, unable to use Keyblades or even magic. He'd definitely win in a battle if the need rose – a much needed security after the triggering nightmare.

Ansem crossed his arms behind his back with a nod. “I feel honored that you call me by my name. From what I was told, your manners can be foul.” Slowly he walked over to one of the heavy chairs and sat down, close enough to talk comfortably but without crowding Vanitas. He seemed completely unfazed by the unversed still clutched against Vanitas' chest and the remains of tar, or if he was really good at hiding his distress.

Still tired Vanitas leaned back on the divan, the Hareraiser curled in his lap while he wiped his lower arm across his sticky mouth. “Guess my lovely brother got all the good manners when we were torn apart.” Slightly he lifted his chin and glared at Ansem, not even bothering to hide his distaste. He was too worn out to hold back anyway. Coughing up unversed twice in a row was taking its toll – and who knew what the lights would make out of the new discovery.

Would they... trigger him on purpose?

The thought alone made Vanitas' inside twist in discomfort, but he forced the anxiety back. As long as he got company, he had to play it off casually, like vomiting up tar that took the shape of monsters was the most common thing in the world.

And tragically, for him... it actually _was_.

Ansem's answer took him back to the present, to the conversation at hand.

“Yes... Ventus.” He nodded to himself as he leaned forward, arms rest on his legs. “I heard of the circumstances that led to your existence. A shame my researches were used to wrong you on so many levels.”

“Spare me,” Vanitas snarled before his lips pulled in a sneer. “I understand the dark obsession that drove you. And your regret _stinks_.” Taking a deep breath he absorbed the Hareraiser again, prepared for the impact of pure fear. That way he remained unharmed, but the emotions were more intense. Usually Vanitas would have used his Keyblade to get rid of it, but the angle was odd and he didn't really trust himself to stand just yet.

“It's true that I am still fascinated by hearts, and I also can't deny the grief I feel over the victims my researches demanded through the hands of others. I guess I was a fool to believe I could hide my dark thoughts from someone as yourself.” Ansem closed his eyes in thought, his expression hardening. “But what is sincere is my wish to help you. However it is impossible to reverse anything at this point.”

Once his breathing evened out – it always took a little longer to control fear – Vanitas asked, “What do you mean, impossible to reverse?”

Though it was a long shot, Vanitas actually planned to merge back with Ventus if he didn't manage to get back into the realm of darkness. It was a solid plan B he could come back to if everything else failed, a last exit he kept open at all times and under all circumstances.

Thoughtful Ansem opened his eyes again, their copper color tainted with sadness, and leaned back on the chair. “At the beginning you were two halves of a whole. Once Ventus' heart touched Sora's, you both went through a brief change. You must have noticed it over ten years ago, when you tried to merge your hearts back into one.” He made a brief pause, probably to allow Vanitas to process through his words, but carried on soon after. “Ventus then returned to Sora for the time being and developed alongside his heart. Slowly the gabs that were formed from your split got filled up, leaving little to no room for the parts that you still had.”

Subconsciously Vanitas lifted a hand and stroked over the spot where his scar was. “Ventus replaced me completely,” he concluded grimly, though he wasn't exactly surprised. He always had the feeling something was off and while he could still sense Ventus well, he accepted the fact it would get unreasonably hard to force their hearts back together. Even when Ventus started developing dark emotions on his own, Vanitas remained the other part of his heart. He'd been certain they still _could_ merge because of that. They belonged together by nature.

“After your defeat during the war, your heart was crumbling in the darkness and was found by Sora. Your connection was exceptionally strong as you both represent extremes, and eventually the gabs in your heart were finally filled while your heart fixed Sora's enough for him to return. You could say you started off as fragments but came out with two complete hearts of your own.” Slowly Ansem's eyes lit up more and more the longer he spoke, the fascination oozing off his being just like the disgusting tar when Vanitas created an unversed. It was perverse and sick, on so many levels.

The scene was so conversant he felt sick to his stomach.

Vanitas lifted a hand to cover the side of his head. He suddenly felt dizzy, the ground under his being swaying and shaking even while he still sat. Hearts shattering, breaking, tearing only to end up hastily fixed together, merging with others, held together by thin strings while little crumbles broke off from the rough edges regardless.

“I understand this is a lot to process. Is there anything I can do for you?”

The bile threatened to come back up, yet Vanitas forced himself out of the divan. His sight blurred heavier at the action, the spinning taking over the room as well.

He had to get out. He had to get out _now_

When Ansem got up and reached out, Vanitas slapped his hand violently away. Head lolling he stumbled to the door and wrenched it open. A girl sitting on a small table jerked as she saw him, but he didn't care.

With a weak wave of his hand Vanitas created a dark corridor, just a few steps away. He had no clue where it led to, but for the moment he could only think about _running_.

And so he suddenly sprinted off toward the corridor, the darkness swirling around it so welcoming and gentle he felt about ready to cry.

The moment he tried to step in however a violent shock jolted through his entire body, so strong every bit of breath forced itself out of his body and stars danced before his bulked eyes.

Before his back even hit the floor, Vanitas had already fainted.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The sun had set by the time he opened his eyes again.

Vanitas felt weak, hunger clawing at his insides, but as soon as his mind caught up he lost all appetite. He took a look around, just with his eyes, head still firmly pressed into the soft pillow.

They took him to some kind of dorm, much alike the makeshift cells he lived in at the tower, but this room had windows. The stars twinkled in the black sky, ever so slightly illuminating the area.

After a while Vanitas crawled out of bed and started for the door. There was no barrier holding him back as he opened it and walked out into the long, empty corridor. His boots clacked loudly as he aimlessly strolled around, the brief wish for some fresh air driving him forward.

At a random door he stopped however, dazed eyes glancing at the smooth wood. It was little but intense – Vanitas sensed malevolence on the other side.

Too tired to think he turned at the door and braced his hands on it before he rest his forehead against the wood, eyes sliding shut. His body acted completely on its own as he slowly sucked the darkness from whoever was on the other side in, absorbing it like a dry sponge would do with a puddle of water. It was barely enough for a snack, a bad dream of a sleeper, yet the little nutrition already cleared his mind. Now Vanitas at least saw a bit more than what was directly before his eyes and his sense of orientation returned as well.

And he also noticed the presence following him from a safe distance.

Slightly better off than before Vanitas walked down the corridor with more resolution, aiming for a set of stairs to lead him to ground level. After a while he found them, for once he was even lucky; the stairs ended just near the main hall at the entrance he saw when Even took them to the lab. The big double doors were unlocked, though he wouldn't have shied from taking them down with Void Gear if not.

The cold air of the night sent shivers down Vanitas' body, yet he couldn't help but close his eyes with a flutter at the sensation. Two guards stood on each side of the entrance, however he strolled passed without even regarding them.

He needed some time and space, away from everyone else.

No destination in mind Vanitas simply paced through the night, eyes staring forward but unseeing. Walking helped, the gentle movements just enough to keep him busy while he carefully asked himself what it was he was feeling and thinking.

Bit by bit he went through his conversation with Ansem. Evaluated his words, his discoveries, while he took several steps down into a small park with a fountain. The flowers had curled into themselves along with their heavy scents, making it so much easier to breathe in the crisp air.

Missing parts were refilled. The gabs and holes in his heart were closed up, the blanks that Ventus left as they separated were no more. According to the examination he had a small but complete heart within him.

Expression blank Vanitas stopped next to a hazelnut-tree. It carried several fruits, but it looked sick; even in the faint light of the stars and the moon the leaves carried a yellow hue and the nut he tentatively picked had a small hole on the side, probably from a worm that feasted on its insides.

A small hazel, the top the slightest bit dented. It almost looked like a heart-shape when Vanitas scrunched his eyes at it.

A small heart in his palm, maybe just as small as the one in his chest, but nonetheless complete.

Slowly Vanitas curled his fingers into a first around it and kept going, even as a sickening crunch came from the small fruit.

“Then why,” he whispered as he opened his palm again, saw the bits of the broken hazel against the paleness of his skin, the core rotten and devoured, “Am I so hollow?!”

In a flash he summoned Void Gear and cut the tree in half, the trunk giving in as soon as he touched it. He left it toppled over, rage washing over his body, but as his emotions tried to swell up his chest started to glow.

Looking down Vanitas saw a couple of chains, their magic working as he started to feel irritated.

A snarl on his lips he grabbed them and tugged, however they didn't budge. Even as he struck them with his Keyblade they remained whole, keeping his rage in check while the emptiness threatened to swallow him.

Roaring Vanitas took out his frustration on another tree; it took longer to fell as it was healthy, and with every hit he felt angrier and angrier until _finally_ darkness pooled by his feet and several Scrappers manifested.

That was all he needed.

Yelling like a maniac Vanitas chopped them down – and as soon as their pain and fury returned, more appeared from the dark clouds surrounding him. The vicious circle was unleashed, the harshest of training methods his ultimate salvation.

Vanitas knew physical pain. He knew how to deal with bleeds and bruises, with cuts and strained muscles. He knew how it felt when the agony drove every bit of breath out of his lungs. He knew how it tasted to have blood and bile and spit gathered in his mouth, coating his tongue.

Little by little the chains of light began to break, unable to withstand the entirety of his hurting and mass of emotions. As soon as they fell the Scrappers turned into Bruisers, even adding to the horrible torture Vanitas inflicted upon himself.

But compared to the gaping holes in his soul it was still nothing.

In the matter of minutes they wrecked the entire section; the fountain was broken on one side, the water dripping out into the open, the meadows missed entire patches of grass, most of the trees and bushes were torn out of the earth. Vanitas himself was covered in blood and bruises, but he kept going even when his wielding arm shook with agony and exhaustion. His body screamed for a break as he stumbled toward one of the Bruisers, Void Gear trembling in his grasp as he swung at it. Two more were patiently waiting behind it, as if they needed an order before doing anything. Even the one Vanitas was currently fighting didn't even rise its fist at him – just waited and took whatever he threw at it.

It was infuriating.

“Fight back!” he yelled as he swung Void Gear again. His Keyblade bounced off its big belly easily. “I said fight back! I'll fucking destroy you! So! Fight! _Back_!” Vanitas kept hitting the Bruiser, yelling at it. Demanded it to do _something_.

They were his emotions. His feelings. Beings born from his heart as it screamed and shattered and broke under the overwhelming waves of sensations. Like the suffocating despair at the thought that the void in his soul was never going to be filled, that the holes caused by the missing of his other half were permanent.

Yes, he always thought of Ventus as his more inferior part – but that didn't mean he wanted to _never_ become one again. Yet it had happened, their hearts replacing the missing parts thanks to a twisted turn of events. Was he doomed to carry that agonizing feeling of being incomplete for the rest of his life now?

Then he'd rather be crushed by his emotions there and then.

Out of breath Vanitas fell to his knees, Void Gear dissolving into thin air even before he touched the ground. Bottomless rage and hate reflected in his eyes, almost shining even in the dim light, as he glared at his creations, those abominations of himself. Reflections of the horrors of his heart, but his nonetheless.

“End me,” he pressed out through gritted teeth. The other two Bruisers approached slowly, flanked the slightly damaged one right in front of Vanitas.

“I said end me,” he repeated a little louder, more urgent.

Three pairs of red, somewhat sad eyes stared down at him.

“Do as I say! _End meeee_!”

Finally the Bruiser in the middle lifted his large hand, ready to swing it down, and Vanitas closed his eyes softly as he drowned in the agony that was his existence.

The final blow never came.

Before the Bruiser struck Mickey appeared between them and shoved it away. It rolled ungracefully onto its back, wiggling to get back up. Vanitas barely comprehended what was happening, the numbness from taking too much physical pain putting him in a blissful oblivion. However then someone suddenly fell to their knees next to him, hands glowing green as they cast a healing spell.

As soon as Vanitas noticed that he shoved them violently away, a savage growl erupting from his lips before he keeled over and came to rest on his back. In some part of his head he heard something along the lines of 'leave him be', followed by a short discussion and leaving footsteps. The grass rustled noisily to his left, but Vanitas was too busy catching his breath and taming his raging emotions. His body throbbed with pain he welcomed with open arms, and as he slowly got used to it he managed to come back down from his craze.

As exhausting as it was, Vanitas hardly recalled clearer moments than after he brought himself to the edge of death.

Too bad he wasn't allowed to cross it in the end.

“Did you find your answer?” Mickey asked him at some point. Reluctantly Vanitas opened his eyes and glared up at him, thousand snarky words on his tongue but he had barely any strength left to speak. Mickey easily withheld his stare and merely added, “It sure looked like ya were searchin'.”

Vanitas turned his head the other way, would actually have gotten up and left if he could. But his body was still firmly stuck on the ground in a small pool of his own blood, the cold of the night slowly seeping into his bones. Again he mulled over Ansem's words and his own fate. What should he do now? Did he even have options?

“You know,” Mickey started at some point, yet again breaking the silence in the wrecked park, “You remind me a lot of Riku when we first met. He used to be very reserved and never talked to anybody about what was on his mind. But sometimes, sayin' thoughts out loud helps ya think.”

“I don't need your help,” Vanitas bit back. As if he'd ever share his thoughts with _a light_. What for? So he could receive pity and fake compassion? So his plot to take revenge was put to and end before it even started? So he'd share his _weaknesses_?

Because, if anything, the everlasting emptiness in his chest truly felt like a weakness.

For a moment silence spread, then Mickey got up with a rustle. “Just thought I'd give ya a suggestion,” he said as he drew his Keyblade. With a few swift jumps and hits, the three Bruisers vanished and returned to Vanitas, his skin tearing open at the three strikes. He didn't as much as gasp at the pain, still a bit too far lost to feel it properly, but he was clear enough to regard Mickey with a stare – and notice the strange tension on his face. “Maybe you'll find a way to clear your head without hurtin' yourself.”

Vanitas chuckled weakly, a cough shaking through his body when blood dribbled into his windpipe. “Maiming and rampaging is more my style.” His lips curled into a sneer as he laughed again, just at the edge of manic. How must it look to those group-supporting lights, when he ill-treated himself and slayed down his own creations? Did it give them the heebie-jeebies?

While Mickey appeared impressively naive in his suggestions, he still kept his composure even better than Aqua. Vanitas could never tell if he was crept out or not. Too bad it wasn't Riku's turn to stalk him.

Suddenly his body felt warm, the odd sensation of his wounds stitching back up washing through his being. He narrowed his eyes on Mickey just in time to see the green glow fade from his Keyblade before it disappeared completely. “What was that for?” Vanitas demanded as he sat up, the pain mostly gone and clothes drenched in his own blood.

“We have to walk back at _some_ point.”

… Okay, he got that one. Vanitas preferred his own two legs, too.

“But gosh... You really went all out, didn't ya?” He watched as Mickey took a look at the area before he shook his head, the first gesture of actual disapproval Vanitas ever saw him make.

Instantly a sneer curled over his lips. Perhaps he could try to fill the void with mindless destruction? And if he was lucky, the lights would actually go as far as killing him to stop his havoc. However Vanitas had the feeling they'd just end up locking him into one of the rooms back in the tower instead.

With a sigh he pulled his legs in and crossed them underneath himself. It was surprisingly easy, or at least easier than with the tight bodysuit, and Vanitas found himself think a little better in the position. He was healed but still tired; now was the time to search for answers, before the next crazy seizure came around.

Not that Vanitas knew if he _could_ find an answer to begin with. His life had consisted of following orders, empty promises of unreachable rewards at their end. However now he was on his own, which had its benefits but also meant he had to make his own decisions and plan his next steps. At least he came over the initial shock of being... could he even label it complete?

Even if he wasn't, he decided it didn't matter for now.

The current goal in his head was to take revenge on Sora. Only fair, considering he was the cause for all his recent problems. Once he shattered the idiot's perfect little world Vanitas could think about everything else. Channeling his focus and feelings on a single target at a time seemed like the best way to go.

Alright. Now he had to think about the most important thing in Sora's life. What was it that drove him on and on? Vanitas remembered the time when they were at the dark city and Sora urged him on. He found no peace in death, he wanted to go back. Back to his _friends_. But it would be too easy just taking them out. Sure, Sora would experience agony if Vanitas killed them, but he wanted him to suffer _more_. He wanted him to stew in his pain until he couldn't take it anymore, abandoned by those he wanted to protect so badly.

It would take time to drive them apart, however Vanitas was willing to invest whatever it needed to see his plan through. Slowly he'd cut their precious bonds, little by little, and then he'd sow out darkness in their hearts and make sure it grew into doubts and sorrow. Even the closest of friends could be driven apart and though they might find their way back together eventually, it still didn't make the tear undone.

Terra, Aqua, and Ventus had been sworn friends as well – and ended up separated for over a decade, alone and hurting and so weakened they became victims to the darkness. Precious Sora and his dear friends weren't that different from them.

And once Sora was alone in his agony, so abandoned he edged the darkness... Vanitas would have his chance to take him out.

It felt a bit off though, to think in that direction. Vanitas was a proud and powerful fighter; he preferred open battles with his opponents in top-shape, however this time he believed he'd feast more on his victory if he took a more sinister path. He could still have his moment of bliss when Sora's friends came back to avenge him. Probably Riku would be the one thirsting for his head most. Likely the next in line was that princess of hearts, Kairi. Would she be strong?

Hopefully their wrath was strong enough that they wouldn't listen to Aqua or Mickey. Those two were smart enough to know they had to gang up on him to fight off his darkness and the unversed. But anger and lost friendship were a powerful fuel – it made even Ventus man up enough to win against him so many years ago.

Cooled down Vanitas allowed a smirk to curl over his lips, hidden in the shadows of his lower face. He could hardly recall ever been looking so forward to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> This chap is a bit shorter than the last, but the content is quite a bit more intense.  
I enjoy it a lot, especially the part where Vanitas simply lets all out.  
IMO he's actually an extremely emotional person, but he holds it back to the point everything simply breaks out. 
> 
> ALSO! We saw what the shackles do.  
A friend (an absolute expert in the KH-lore) was confused about my approach since he pointed out it was never explained how exactly the dark corridors are made and used. So, I figured, how about a way to prevent someone from actually crossing them rather than think of an explanation of mechanics?  
Kind of like a reversed electric fence ^.^ 
> 
> The next part will be a little lighter.  
But will Vaniboy it experience it as such? 
> 
> We shall see ^.~
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	5. New Experiences

Dawn painted the dark sky in reds, yellows, and pinks by the time they walked back to the castle. Mickey had stayed by his side the entire time, however didn't force any conversation between them. Though he _did_ insist he should tell Ansem right away about the smashed garden-section, Vanitas however pointedly ignored him.

The guards at the entrance almost refused to let them in once they saw Vanitas' bloody attire – their uneasiness was a welcomed snack for him – and Mickey was still doing some explaining when Even passed by and all but freaked out on them. All the way complaining and lecturing he led both of them inside, always sure to keep his distance to Vanitas as he quietly talked to Mickey. At some point he slammed a door open and hushed Vanitas inside, saying something about washing up and get changed. New clothes would coming in a bit and he should leave his current things in the bath. Mickey promised to come pick him back up once he was done along with Even, then they finally closed the door behind them as they left.

Alone at last Vanitas took a moment to process the quick happenings, looked around – and summoned Void Gear with a startle when he suddenly saw someone else beside himself inside the tiled room, a couple of steps away.

It took him a moment to realize it was merely a reflection – the side of the room was lined with mirrors, surface smooth and clean. Vanitas knew how he looked like, mostly from images on glass and water, but it was new seeing his face so... sharp and detailed. His image looked so real it was easy to mistake for an actual other person, hence he didn't even feel any sort of angry as he sent his Keyblade back into darkness.

Fascinated Vanitas approached the mirror, his face growing bigger the closer he got. He definitely saw the similarity to Sora's features, but there were also countless little differences: His hair fell a bit more where Sora's stuck up. His skin was a much lighter color compared to the healthy rose Sora wore across his body. While they shared the exact same nose Vanita's lips were slightly thinner and a small, barely visible scar adorned them on the left. His teeth were sharper, too, or at least more prominent than on Sora, and while the shape of their eyes was the same Vanitas found his eyebrows were just a little thicker.

Just to give it a try he pulled his lips into Sora's toothy grin – and instantly fell into a frown.

Maybe he went a little overboard claiming they looked exactly the same. Perhaps they did back when Ventus' heart touched Sora's, but living had definitely brought them apart. Or was it the difference in age? Even with the pauses in between, Vanitas was still physically a few months ahead in his development.

Not that any of that mattered though.

It was difficult getting the clothes off but he managed, however the shirt had a slight tear near the sleeve now. Even had said something about 'washing up' but there was no water, so Vanitas rounded the corner of the wall to see if he found anything next door. Another room stretched before him, plain walls with some odd pipes sticking out near the ceiling and metal handles beneath them. But the smell of water was stronger there and even some of the tiles on the floor were wet, so the track seemed about right.

Head cocking a little Vanitas looked at one of the handles and tried to push. Maybe those were actually doorknobs or something? However the thing just turned left and right without much of a resistance, the wall not moving in inch. Definitely not a door.

After a while Vanitas pulled it up and a spray of water came from the pipe right above him, the contact so unexpected he jumped back with Void Gear in his hand, muscles tensed and ready to strike.

Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to design it _that_ way?! As if water randomly shooting down from above meant anything but a sneaky magical attack!

Snarling he dismissed Void Gear and stared blankly at the spray. Tentatively Vanitas held his hand under it; the water was oddly warm, unlike that in lakes and rivers, and it fell hard enough to prickle on his skin. When he played around with the handle – it had to have some use after all – he realized it changed the temperature of the water. All the way from burning hot to freezing cold was covered. Vanitas settled for warm and eventually stepped under the spray.

Now that he felt the water cascade dawn his shoulders and back, Vanitas decided the design might not have been a _complete_ failure. It was... relaxing. Better than any other time he washed himself, which wasn't very often. Water was difficult to come by in the deserts of the Badlands and his suit protected most of his body anyway. He never really cared about what happened underneath it.

The water turned red as it washed the blood and sweat away. After a while Vanitas rubbed his hands over his skin, ridding himself of whatever juices had dried there, the smell of copper unusually heavy in the warm, moist air. With a bit of focus his boots vanished to thin air – he had forgotten to take them off before – and the shackles jingled a little while he moved under the constant spray.

Once he was clean Vanitas also finally regarded his body.

He had already seen his chest, so now he took his time examining his legs and pelvis. Nonchalantly he sat on the floor, the cool of the tiles sending shivers up his spine, but he could endure it to feed his curiosity.

His legs had suffered less during his training, mostly since Master Xehanort liked him standing. Yet three thick scars stretched over his skin – twins on his thighs and a third that ran over the back of his shank. His waist and pelvis were completely unmarked, though there were never many scars to begin with. Usually those spots were preferred targets for kicks, either to throw him away or turn him onto his back.

It was strange to see the skin pale and sensitive and perfectly smooth where once entire layers of scars defined his being. But the memories were still with Vanitas, the clean flesh doing little to wipe the images of old ache from his mind.

Only little... but it helped regardless.

His skin was turning funny, so Vanitas shut off the water and walked out. With his hands he rubbed the rests of water off as good as he could, then proceed to shake his head. Once again he remembered why he actually disliked washing up; it took _forever_ to get dry again. At least the clothes of the lights' were wider than his bodysuit. Squelching with every step was another reason he rather avoided baths, or large bodies of water for that matter.

The mirrors had turned foggy and his old clothes were gone, but instead a pile of fabric laid on one of the sinks. Some short, tight-fitting pants as underwear, some simple black slacks, a bright-gray shirt, and some shoes without laces along with socks. There was also a huge white rectangle, almost as big as a blanket. Maybe some sort of battle skirt like the one he used to wear?

Vanitas put on the pieces, a growl leaving him here and there as he wiggled into the clothes. As he expected it was a little more comfortable to walk in them when he was so wet, but not by much. The ridiculously large rectangle found its way around his hips, though it was a bit difficult to tie it. In the end Vanitas wore it with the knot directly on his hip, the cloth falling over his opposite leg nearly all the way to the floor.

Mickey said they would be back, but not being one to wait Vanitas simply walked out and strolled through the corridors instead. He sensed more people in the building than during the night, so he set out to find back into his room and sleep a little. The shirt clung around his chest and shoulders, the material so damp it actually showed a bit of his muscles, and he absently pulled on it to give himself a bit more air once in a while.

Vanitas remembered stairs and kept an eye open for them as he walked, the smell of blooming flowers coming in through the open windows. He cringed his nose at it, the scent already giving him a headache, but finally he found a stairway and took it up to the second floor. The corridor he arrived in didn't look familiar in the least; then again, it _had_ been pretty dark when he walked out and his mind had been too absent to properly regard his surroundings.

“Fucking maze,” he muttered with a frown, his hand itching for one of the doorknobs. From what Vanitas knew he might have already walked passed his room, everything just looked the same.

However once he rounded a corner he heard a voice calling out from behind.

By the time Vanitas turned his head back a girl had walked up on him – blond hair falling beyond her shoulders, short white dress hugging her body, and a notebook pressed against her chest. “Are you still hurt?” she asked, concern dripping from her voice and watery blue eyes flicking all over his body.

Vanitas merely furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Do I know you?” he returned, more than suspicious. Was this another person who mistook him for Sora? She had a familiar air about herself, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Her eyes regarded him for a moment longer, then she gave a relieved sigh. “No, I don't think so. You were pretty out of it before.” Thin, pale lips pulled into a smile as she cocked her head. “My name is Naminé. I saw you in the park last night, but you pushed me away when I tried to cast a Cure on you.”

Eyes narrowed Vanitas snarled at her, instantly putting a bit more space between them. “I never asked for your help,” he spat, his hands coming up to dig into his pockets – but he wasn't wearing his jacket, so he just ended up somewhat resting them on his hips instead.

“You were pretty wounded, so I just...” Naminé trailed off, her bottom lip pulled in her mouth for a moment. “Sorry. I should have asked first.” She looked back up at his face, then regarded his clothes. When her eyes fell to the level of his waist she arched a blond eyebrow. “Uhm. Why... exactly are you wearing a towel?”

Vanitas merely crossed his arms before his chest, chin pushed slightly up as he glared down at her. Some water trailed from his hairline down, right into his eye; he had to blink to get it out.

Naminé just opened her mouth to say something, no fear from his stare showing on her face, when a third voice echoed over the corridor.

“Vanitas! There you are.”

They both turned toward the voice – and Vanitas had a hard time suppressing the sigh. Apparently Mickey's shift had ended. Why else would Riku come look for him?

Suddenly Naminé rushed passed him and all but threw herself right at Riku. He barely caught her in time, both laughing as they briefly twirled while hugging. “Hey, settle down,” he chuckled as he gently put her back down.

“I heard you were here from Ansem, but Mickey said you were sleeping when I came looking for you.” Naminé clutched the notebook back against her chest as she turned back toward Vanitas. “Is that a new friend?”

Riku was at such a loss of words at her question, Vanitas deliberately chuckled at his face for it.

“It's... complicated,” Riku eventually bit out, one of his hands scratching the back of his neck. “I'll explain it later. First we need to head for Ansem's offi...” As his eyes settled on Vanitas he trailed off, his eyebrows arching just like Naminé's a moment before. “Vanitas, why are you wearing a towel?”

This was getting increasingly annoying.

Lips pulled back in a snarl Vanitas growled, “The fuck do I know. Even gave me the stuff.”

For a moment Riku and Naminé exchanged a look and Vanitas felt the hair on the back of his neck straightening. A mockery was on the way, he was certain, and slowly he uncrossed his arms, right hand twitching for Void Gear as he pulled his fingers apart.

“You use a towel to dry off after a shower or bath,” Riku explained, his voice neutral. “They come in different sizes. The one for the body is usually much bigger.”

“How... convenient,” Vanitas spit back, his shoulders relaxing. Now that he heard the assertion it made sense; it was much easier to get dressed when one was dry. It also explained why the thing was so difficult to wear in the first place.

Quickly he undid the knot on his hip and pulled the towel over his head, rubbing at his damp hair. Unfortunately the towel was so large most of the fabric fell down over his back and chest, almost like some sort of short cape.

“Sooo...” Riku thumbed over his shoulder. “Ansem is waiting for you in his office. He wants to do the psychological examination personally.”

Vanitas stopped drying his hair and, instead, crossed his arms before his chest again. “Too bad. I was about to go sleep.” He pulled his lips into a sneer, golden eyes flashing briefly. It was brief, but he sensed the frustration growing inside Riku.

Yeah, he was definitely a much more responsive victim to his teases.

Eventually Riku lifted his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Then let's head to your room instead.” With his feet scuffing over the floor he approached and walked passed Vanitas. Up so close Vanitas spotted a throbbing vein on his temple and a narrow of his eyes, though Riku made sure to not have their gazes meet.

Vanitas furrowed his eyebrows as he followed him with his eyes. “Hmmm you know what,” he called once Riku had walked a couple of steps ahead, “Changed my mind. Take me to Ansem.”

Instantly Riku whirled around, a glare settling in the teal of his eyes. “Are you kidding?!” he bellowed, the tension back in his shoulders. For a moment he looked like he would summon his Keyblade.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Vanitas mocked as he wagged his index finger. “Remember what they said: No Keyblades allowed inside the castle.” Another chuckle escaped his lips and Naminé joined him with a bright, short giggle.

Looking as black as thunder Riku stomped back, but instead of heading passed he instead wrapped his arm around Vanitas' shoulders in a sideward hug and dragged him along, much like he did the previous day in front of the castle. In fact, he easily caught Vanitas' elbow when he tried to jab it into his ribs, almost like he saw the hit coming. Oddly enough the frustration in Riku suddenly dissolved into thin air and once Vanitas looked up at his face, the glare in the teal eyes had changed into mirth.

“Thought you knew better than to underestimate us lights,” Riku whispered with a smirk, mood awfully good all of a sudden.

As Vanitas tried to ram his shoulder into him in response, he easily pushed off and fell into a lazy stroll beside him. Growling low in his throat Vanitas stared up ahead, fuming at how the situation had developed. For a moment he considered fighting back, but wrecking the park and the relaxing wash were taking their toll on him; exhaustion pulled on his being and his eyelids felt heavy. Maybe it was better to do whatever Ansem wanted from him first. Nobody would have a reason to bother him then when he took a nap, or better yet, nobody could blame him when he beat whoever disturbed his slumber green and blue.

Naminé caught up with them, still giggling here and now as she walked next to Riku. “Traitor,” he hissed in her direction which she only laughed at.

“Not my fault Vanitas is funny.” Ever so slightly she leaned forward, enough to smile in Vanitas direction on the other side of the narrow corridor. While he didn't regard her much, he had to admit it was welcomed how she reacted to his mocks.

Finally they stopped in front of white twin doors Riku knocked at twice before he pushed them open. A wide room with a couple of small tables and chairs came to view, along with yet another shelf full of books and a large, dark-green board with white writing across it.

On one of the tables sat a girl with inky black hair, Ansem before her as he pointed down at a book. When she turned her head back at them and her deep-blue eyes met Vanitas', he felt an odd tug at his heart. In fact he reached up with one hand and covered the spot, the feeling alien and yet _powerful_, almost comparable to the twinge when his and Ventus' heart began to merge so many years ago. It felt like something... simply clicked into place.

The girl stirred as well, even let out something like a startled yell as she clapped both of her hands over her chest in pure confusion.

Subconsciously Vanitas made a step toward her, eyebrows drawn together and body moving on its own, when suddenly a dark corridor opened up in the corner of the room. A heartbeat later first a small and then a tall figure jumped out of it, heads whipping around and Keyblades in hands.

“Who did something to Xion?!” the smaller figure demanded, blond hair swaying with the sharp whips of his head.

The instant Vanitas caught a glimpse at the face he already called Void Gear in his hand and launched at him, sparks flying as their Keyblades met. He snarled down at the other, his heart giving him weird signals since he was _definitely_ looking at none other than Ventus, despite the fact he felt _nothing _like him.

“What the hell, _Sora_?!” Ventus yelled back, summoned a _second_ Keyblade out of the blue, and tried to swing it at Vanitas.

Graceful he pushed off and stepped backwards, Void Gear securely in hand.

“That's not Sora!” the tall figure yelled as he held his Keyblade between them, a curly red piece of ugliness Vanitas had never seen before, his other hand covered in flames of a Fire-spell. Had Ventus gone off and made some new friends?

Muscles tensing Vanitas readied himself for another blow and speed forward, Keyblade pulled back for a strike, but after two steps he suddenly crashed into a body that threw itself into his way.

For a moment he swayed back, taken off balance, both him and the other grunting at the impact. When he glared up he saw Riku before himself, arms stretched out on either side as he blocked the way.

“It's alright, Vanitas. Calm down.” Riku's voice was steady as he spoke and for the hint of a moment, the split of a heartbeat, Vanitas lowered his Keyblade. His eyes darted off to Ventus and the redhead behind Riku, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest while darkness pooled by his feet. After a brief nod Riku yelled over his shoulder, “Roxas, Axel, put your Keyblades away.”

Ventus stirred, still a Keyblade in each hand. “But- _He_ attacked _us_ first!”

Snarling Vanitas growled low in his chest, like a cornered animal. And he truly felt like one, surrounded by lights and hopelessly outmatched. He couldn't even summon a dark corridor and make a break for it, the shackles doing a good job at keeping him from stepping into it.

“Yeah – after you bashed in ready to fight,” Riku responded and ever so slightly turned toward them, still staying in their crossfire. “Now put your Keyblades _away_.”

As he briefly calmed, Vanitas regarded the situation with a clearer mind. Now that he looked at the kid with the blond hair, Roxas was his name? Or Axel?, he saw the differences. While their faces were exactly the same everything else wasn't – his battle stance was different, so were both of his Keyblades, and even his response was much brattier than Ventus had ever been.

“He's got a point, Rox.” The tall redhead straightened his body and the Keyblade vanished from his hand. Roxas followed the example a moment later and sent his away, too.

Vanitas took a little longer to break his stance, mostly since he knew better than to trust the lights, but eventually Void Gear dissolved into thin air and the darkness retreated back into his body. He was a little baffled Riku stood by his side, as if he understood the sense of dread he felt, however assumed he was just following his own interests and orders. It surely would look bad if Vanitas got damaged during _his_ shift.

As the tension slowly relaxed Riku moved as well; he turned to Ansem and gave a deep bow. “Sorry for the muss, Sir.” He tilted his head toward Roxas and Axel. “You two apologize, too.”

The two bowed to Ansem as well, though Roxas took his time shooting Vanitas a piercing glance through the corner of his eye.

Hm, his glare was better than Ventus'. Almost intimidating even.

With everyone being busy, Vanitas took his attention back to the raven girl. She had walked over to the battle-hungry pair and spoke to them, then all three turned around and looked in his direction.

“What are you looking at?” he threw back with a snarl.

Roxas narrowed his eyes at him, but it felt more like he was scrutinizing rather than looking for a new fight. “Nope. Nothing on my side,” he suddenly said with a shake of his head. “You're probably imagining things.”

The girl crossed her arms before her chest with a hum, a gesture Vanitas was oddly familiar with. Where had he seen it before...?

“Besides, he's _way_ too rude to be connected to Sora. Even with such a face.”

Instantly Vanitas whipped his head toward Roxas. “Shut it, Ventus-copycat,” he threw back, tempted to call Void Gear back into his hand.

“What did you say?!” As Roxas made a step toward him Vanitas approached as well, a sneer curling over his lips.

“You heard me.” He shrugged his shoulders with a brief chuckle. “Though, you fall so easily for my bait... you should have copied his brain rather than face.”

With a grit of his teeth Roxas clenched his hands into fists, anger flaring up on his insides. Before it broke out however Axel put a firm hand on his shoulder, holding him back.

“Leave him be. We should head back before Aqua comes looking for us anyway.” His green eyes pierced Vanitas and though he appeared calm and collected on the outside, he clearly sensed anger and dread boiling inside him. It was so appealingly flaring Vanitas considered sucking up the negativity, but just as he reached out Axel already created a dark corridor.

“Use the Gummiphone first next time,” Riku called after them. Axel gave him a salute before he dived into the corridor, the hand on Roxas dragging him along as they disappeared just as swiftly as they came.

Ansem was the one breaking the silence with a light chuckle. “Roxas truly is very lively. Thank you for handling the situation, Riku.” He looked quite unfazed despite everything, Vanitas realized, and that made him wonder how often it actually happened lights randomly jumped out of dark corridors with Keyblades in hands. In fact... since when exactly were the lights using dark corridors anyway?

“Vanitas.”

Hearing his name Vanitas pulled out of his thoughts. Ansem had walked to the other end of the room and held a door open, the one to his office. He took it as a cue to head over for whatever examination he wanted to make.

Just as he walked by Riku he felt a hand on his lower arm, holding him back. “Will you be alright? I can give you the chains if you need them.” He spoke so low Vanitas was sure nobody else could hear his words. They were dripping with concern – as if he cared?

Roughly Vanitas pulled free. “How often till you _fucking_ get it?” He leaned in, so close their faces almost touched, before he snarled, “I. Don't. Need. Your. Help.” When he straightened he gave Riku a hard push on the chest before he walked off, not even bothering to look back.

He heard the door close behind them as Vanitas strolled to the divan and jumped into it, hands crossing behind his head when he laid down and looked out of the window. The sky was blue with a few clouds flying by, slow and lazy.

“Alright,” came Ansem's voice from the general direction of the desk, “The examination consists of questions. You're supposed to pick from a range between very applicable, applicable, not applicable, absolutely not applicable, and neutral. It's important you answer truthfully. If you don't understand a question, just ask right away.”

Ansem stopped there and after a while Vanitas gave an affirming grunt.

“These questions will help us see how your current state of mind is and how your emotional understanding is developed.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Vanitas relaxed against the divan and stretched out his legs, feeling how some of his joints popped.

“Okay. Let's start right off the bat.” The rustle of paper reached Vanitas' ears. “Currently my overall health has been good.”

Vanitas thought for a moment. “Absolutely not applicable.”

Ansem moved directly to the next question. “I recently have trouble sleeping.”

“Not applicable.”

“I am quick to lose my temper.”

Vanitas sneered with his eyes closed. “Oh, _veeery_ applicable.”

They kept going like that for a long time. Most of the questions sounded rather normal, however there were a couple Vanitas refused to answer to and simply tossed out neutral. Once in a while he looked out of the window as they went through the forms, watched a bird fly by rather noisily while ever so often fluffy clouds pushed through the frame.

“Okay, that was the last question,” Ansem eventually said and stacked the papers. Vanitas merely regarded him with a lazy glance from his spot on the divan. “I admit I'm very curious about the results and would like to get right through them. You can wait in the study next door.”

A bit reluctantly Vanitas got up – he had made himself pretty comfortable – and headed straight for the door. Usually he would have just stayed and taken his nap right there, but the raven girl was still there and he wanted to finally get a closer look at her. With Ansem busy for the time being, he figured it was as good as a chance as anytime.

He didn't bother to close the door as he stepped out, golden eyes scanning the area. He found her on one of the larger tables, unfortunately sitting with Riku and Naminé, yet he approached the group nonchalantly.

“Oh, are you two done?” Naminé asked once she spotted him. She had a pen in her hand and more scattered around her notebook. The page she was at was unusually colorful.

Vanitas shrugged his shoulders at her question. “Hey. You,” he called at the raven girl. As she looked up he saw a strange familiarity about her. For a moment he darted his eyes back to Naminé, then at the raven. They looked similar enough to be sisters, although their colors were completely different. More copycats?

“Yes, Vanitas?” she replied and her eyes shone with interest, but also looked a little puzzled. As if she was piecing something together but didn't have all the parts yet.

“How do you know my name?” he threw back, slightly irritated.

She merely shrugged. “Riku told us a little about you.” The tip of her pen pointed at Riku and he leveled him with a glare, but he had other matters to attend for the time being.

“Whatever.” He crossed both arms before his chest and stared down at her. “What was that before? You felt it, too, didn't you?”

Again she hummed, her hand coming up to tap her cheek – and then he _realized_ it:

She was behaving oddly alike Sora.

Just what was the deal with all those lights? They all looked alike, behaved alike, fought together for the same goal like some twisted big family. And who were the parents? Aqua and Mickey?

Despite himself Vanitas gave a snicker – the picture was just _too good_ – but it died as quickly as it came up. However if the raven was like Sora, the conversation might take a while to unfold. He wasn't exactly known to be the smart type. So with a sigh Vanitas pulled a chair back and sat on it, golden eyes trained on her as he waited.

“Xion, did it feel like something you already experienced once?” Riku supplied as the silence ticked on.

Xion... No. That name didn't ring a bell in Vanitas.

She hummed again, her eyes closing as she crossed her arms before her chest. “I think... It felt a little like when I fought Sora at the Keyblade Graveyard. As if our hearts somehow... connected?”

Vanitas furrowed his eyebrows, though for a completely other reason. “You fought the lights? Then we would have been on the same side.”

“I was with the organization at first,” Xion admitted, her bright eyes briefly darkening as she put both arms under the table.

For a moment Vanitas regarded her closer, but he definitely never saw her face before. “Wait...” Suddenly he clicked the fingers of his right hand. “You're the puppet.”

He didn't miss the spark of sadness blooming in her chest – as well as the hard kick in his shin underneath the table. Instantly he glared over at Riku, murder in his eyes, but then _Naminé_ was suddenly hissing in his direction. Was it _her_ foot that hit him? Who did she fucking think she was?!

Vanitas growled back at her, however she only leaned closer as if to challenge him, and he couldn't help but sneer. She had more backbone than most, to face him so fearlessly. Or perhaps she had no clue what kind of monster he was by the end of the day.

He was just about to lash out when Xion lifted a hand. “It's okay Naminé. That's what I went by before I remembered who I was.” She gave a smile filled with bottomless sadness and Vanitas clearly felt the dark emotions swirling in her heart.

Self-loath. Pain. Fear.

Vanitas was familiar with them. They had been his steady companions since he took his first breaths. But unlike so many times before, the darkness in Xion felt a bit more intimate than anything else he ever sensed. Almost like it was his own, only covered by a nearly transparent veil or as if he was seeing himself in a slightly smudged mirror.

Only when he already started Vanitas noticed how he had zeroed on Xion's darkness and gently sucked it out, the malevolence effortlessly seeping from her into him. It felt natural, how he fed off the dark energy, and if he wasn't in such a good control of himself he might have acted like a starving animal and simply tore it out of her instead. And maybe, if it had been someone other than Xion, he would have done just that instead of going so easy.

In a flash the sadness vanished from her face and she blinked curiously in Vanitas' direction. He merely leaned back into the chair, a sigh escaping his lips as the aching hunger of his being was sated in a way solid food never could. It was good, finally scratching the itch, and his eyes slid shut as another wave of fatigue washed over him.

“Wow,” she breathed in astonishment, “How did you do that?”

“I thought our _lovely_ _master_ told you about me?” Vanitas poked one eye open and stared over at Riku, who looked back with oddly attentive eyes. Had he felt the exchange?

Unlikely. Lights might have a sense for darkness, but at such an early state as in Xion it would be impossible for them to feel it.

“He just said your name is Vanitas and that you used to be the darkness of Ventus' heart,” Xion replied with way too much eagerness. “Now, say, how did you get the sadness out of me?”

Confused Riku furrowed his eyebrows and pointed between the two of them. “Wait what? What do you mean, Xion?”

She didn't reply but instead fixed Vanitas with a stare. The longer it lasted the closer she pushed, half-way climbing on top of the table in the process, and there was Sora again at full force. He clearly saw the idiot doing the same thing.

Maybe he was too tired to fight it, because eventually Vanitas gave a roll of his open eye before he closed it again. “I'm a being made of darkness,” he mouthed, “And as such I feed off negative emotions. You just happened to be a convenient meal for me.” He sighed again as he sunk a little further into the chair. “Now shut up and let me nap.”

Even with his eyes closed he sensed the excitement bubbling up in Xion. “Was I tasty?”

“Let him be,” Riku suddenly threw in and she finally backed off – or at least moved away from the table. “Now, Xion, tell me what exactly you felt...?”

Vanitas felt a gentle nudge on his shoulder and poked one eye open at it. “There's a plush sofa over there,” Naminé whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. “It's more comfortable than the chair.”

Face completely motionless Vanitas simply closed his eye again and stayed as he was. Just the suggestion was enough for him to decide _not_ to move from his spot. He slept wherever he felt like and the stupid chair just happened to be the perfect spot. There had already been harsher environments where he had to sleep at, often not having as much as a cover against the elements. All those beds and divans he used lately were making him just _soft_ and _weak_.

Then again... they _were_ nice to sleep in.

“Come on Vanitas, let's take you to bed,” Riku suddenly announced and gently shook his shoulder. Disturbed Vanitas grunted at him, but somehow he was too groggy to put up a fight as Riku lifted him out of the chair.

Usually he would have fought tooth and claw, but he felt so endlessly lethargic he barely processed how they left the room and walked out onto the corridor. “Just a little farther,” Riku whispered into his ear, unusually close and loud. Somewhere in the back of his mind Vanitas heard the creak of a door, and then a simple bed came into his blurry view. He promptly stumbled over to it and fell face first into it, the tiredness too much to bear, the doziness too advanced to fight, and the soft mattress and covers caught him like one of the clouds he watched from Ansem's window.

Why was he feeling like that?

His muscles and joints were exhausted after the nightlong fight, his soul tired after the strain he put on it, and his stomach so nicely full the last bits of his forces settled into processing it into energy. Vanitas had felt those things individually often enough, but never in such a combination. It was rare to drift into sleep without being hungry, all the more after fights, and the soft bedding was just enough to coax him into something much longer than a power nap.

With a last sigh, Vanitas allowed slumber to fully claim him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Many new experiences for our angry boy ^.^  
I want to express Vanitas' journey through life not only with battling his constant inner darkness, but also with everyday things that simply weren't so self-understanding for him. 
> 
> As I thought the plot and chapter up, I wondered about the pretty secluded life he had in the badlands.  
No sanitary installations, not even a roof over his head, and I think food would also be hard to come by.  
It has actually never been explained ANYWHERE how Vanitas actually survives; does he even need food and water?  
So I figured, hey, what if his body got used to rather process darkness and negative emotions into fuel for his being?  
I will explain it more in the coming chaps. Overall, Xehanort will be to blame for that - because I absolutely don't see him care enough to bring over meals for Vanitas, rather force-feeding darkness to him until his body simply complied. 
> 
> Old habits die hard, they say. 
> 
> The last chap ended a bit short, so I made the cut in this a little later - and gave you some angry boy gently falling asleep :) 
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	6. Little Breather

Vanitas released a shriek as he hit the ground and quickly crawled away, backwards and on all fours. Panting hard he looked around wide-eyed, sweat creeping down his back and between his shoulder blades as he slowly came back to reality.

He was having a nightmare with Master Xehanort again. His Keyblade drove into his body over and over as Vanitas desperately tried to dodge, but it was never enough. Then he made a step and suddenly found himself crashing against the floor of the dorm he was given at Radiant Garden.

Vaguely Vanitas recalled falling into bed, after Riku got him back to his room. He had been so close to the edge his tossing instantly resulted in him falling out, tearing him out of the restless dream and danger.

Still a little shaken Vanitas ran a hand over his face, forced himself to regain his breath. A sudden knock on the door made him jolt to his feet however, Void Gear instantly in hand. The images and fake pain still held him in a cold grasp, as if Xehanort would pop up any second and end what he started.

“Vanitas?” Riku's voice came only muffled through the door. “Are you alright?”

“Get lost!” Vanitas roared back, still way too agitated to deal with any of the lights. He had to get the pounding of his heart under control before his emotions overflowed.

For a moment Riku fell silent. “Okay,” he eventually called back before he added, “Please come next door when you're ready.”

Teeth gritted Vanitas debated tossing an insult out, however he had too much to deal with to act on it.

It had to stop. Those nightmares... Vanitas hadn't had any for years, but now they were back, haunting and tormenting him. He knew it came from feeling weak – from _being_ weak. And constantly holding himself back and playing nice with the lights wasn't helping, let alone with his heart connecting to random people. Groaning he wiped his face, Keyblade disappearing back into the darkness. He had to figure out what the deal with Xion was, too.

“Fucking Sora... I'll crush him!” he muttered under his breath, hands clenching into fists. If that idiot would have just vanished in the darkness like Vanitas attempted to, everything would be fine. Instead he was forced to put up with all the stupid crap life was tossing into his face, past and present crashing together above his head while all he could do was dodge the rocks falling on him.

The anger boiling in the pit of his stomach helped Vanitas wrench control back over his emotions and body. His heartrate finally evened out, so did his breathing, and his sweating stopped all together. It wasn't ideal, but he was calm enough to not swing Void Gear mindlessly at the next sudden noise.

Releasing a loud and long breath, Vanitas braced himself before he walked out of his room.

He looked up and down the corridor, but before he could decide for a direction the door to his left opened, Riku looking out from the crack. With a roll of his eyes Vanitas approached, mostly to avoid unnecessary hassle. His patience was running thin and he had the feeling Riku wouldn't be as forgiving as before now that he got some sleep and nobody obviously set him off.

Riku made room for him to walk in and he found Micky sitting on a chair near a bed with another one mounted on top. It looked much like the room Vanitas occupied next door, only more stuffed because of the weird bed.

“Good morning, Vanitas. Did you rest up?” Mickey smiled in his usual cheery way as he spoke, all positive and bright as the light itself. Vanitas merely shrugged his shoulders, absolutely not in the mood to talk.

“Even brought your clothes back from the laundry,” Riku said into his back, which instantly picked his interest. When he whipped his head back to stare at him Riku pointed in a direction, right at a small basket on the floor. In a flash Vanitas was there and crouched down, a sigh leaving his lips when he pulled out his pants and jacket from it.

Damn, he hadn't realized he missed the pockets _so much._

He was already in the middle of undressing when Riku spoke up again. “I spoke to Xion and there is something I'd like to confirm.” Vanitas didn't as much as turn around as he tossed his old clothes away and got back into his travel-attire. He'd keep the shoes though. They were secure while not relying on laces, which made wearing them much easier.

Hands slipping into the pockets Vanitas gave a soft sigh, then he turned around and regarded the lights again.

As their eyes met, Riku finally asked, “Can you... remove darkness from any heart?”

“Why do you care?” Vanitas threw back nonchalantly.

“Just answer.”

The sneer was back on Vanitas lips at the brief flash of impatience in the usually stoic voice. “Maybe,” he taunted, tempted to tease him a little more. However Riku merely sighed, unfortunately not taking the bait.

Too bad. Perhaps next time.

“I'd like to see how you do it myself,” Mickey said from his spot on the table. He and Riku met in a brief glance, then he added, “We could go to town if you're more comfortable.”

For a moment Vanitas considered the offer. He _did_ feel much better after absorbing Xion's darkness, maybe even a little stronger, too. At least he couldn't deny acting on his nature gave his confidence a boost.

“Alright,” he finally uttered, hands still in his pockets and sneer in place.

It was almost suspicious how docile Riku and Mickey were; willingly they led the way out of the castle, but then they had Vanitas walk ahead as they strolled through the streets. He just headed aimlessly over the paths at first, then the unmistakable pull of faint darkness hit his senses. It wasn't much but he followed it; Radiant Garden was a rather happy and bright place. But in every light there were also shadows, and those could creep out anywhere and anytime.

They reached a park, a playground nestled between trees. Vanitas scrunched his nose at the overwhelming stench of the blooming flowers – _of course_ they littered the meadows there as well – but his focus quickly shifted to a group of people near what looked like a wooden fort.

A child was kneeling on the ground, crying and sobbing so hard it covered its tiny face with its hands. A woman was standing by its side, arguing with another one who shielded a second child who was pouting and shooting glares at the sobbing kid.

A scene with a decent amount of darkness to feed off.

There was a fence where they stood, metal connecting pillars of stone, and Vanitas leaned his arms over one of those pillars as he closed his eyes in concentration. He took his time leeching on the powerful anger of the women, for once enjoying the meal instead of rushing to the end. It had been too long since he tasted it, foreign darkness that coated his heart and soul before it became his own. Like a thick, delicious soup that gently stilled his starving hunger. The sadness of the sobbing child gave it a completely other taste, bitter and melancholic, the bits of agonizing loss swirling in it like flakes. Pouty kid's envy was a nice finish, a last bite to make it nearly perfect.

Vanitas felt sated to the point he felt a bit dizzy, the satisfaction unusually strong. Had he been thirsting for too long already? Or was he just not used to it anymore, like the pain when he chopped down Unversed?

“Incredible,” he heard Riku whisper and Vanitas snickered in response. For a Master Wielder of the lights, he sure sounded pretty fascinated about the dark. Lazily he stretched and turned around, just enough so he could lean his back on the pillar, and regarded the two. Mickey was about as unreadable as always, though there was a slight bit of wonder in his eyes. Riku tried to mask it up, however his comment had already ruined the act.

Leisurely Vanitas pushed completely off the fence and started walking. He could need another meal while they were out. Might as well take advantage and get a nice fill before-

Suddenly he sensed a presence directly behind himself.

In a flash Vanitas made a step to the side and pulled his hip back. The attacker crashed into the dust just where he stood an instant ago, and as they laid there he quickly summoned his Keyblade and held it up with both hands, already half-way striking down before he suddenly hit the unexpected resistance – of another Keyblade.

The moment of lag was enough for Vanitas to recognize the person.

“What the- are you fucking _stupid_?!” Instantly he released the pressure and sent Void Gear away. “I almost chopped you down, you idiot!”

Sighing heavily Xion also dissolved her Keyblade. “Aw no fair. You stopped my sneak attack.” Slowly she got up and clapped the dust off her dark clothes.

In the meantime Riku and Mickey – fucking useless as always – caught up with them. It only fueled Vanitas already flaring rage even more to see the two, after they recklessly allowed him to walk away in the first place.

“The hell is wrong with you, sneak attacking someone like _me_?!” He stamped up close to Xion, his body towering over her small frame as his hands laid on her shoulders and shook her violently. “I'm darkness at its purest! I don't play around like you lights! It's always _kill_ or _be killed_ for me!”

Several Scrappers were swarming in the area between them and Riku was yelling something from behind, but Vanitas didn't give a damn about him. All he could think of was the bottomless anger and the _worry_-

Wait. Why was he worried?

Before Vanitas had the time to figure it out, Xion's face turned into a grimace and she started crying, hands folding on the level of her waist as she sobbed. “S-sorry,” she bit out, head lowered to avoid his gaze. “I-I didn't mean to...”

Seeing her like that hurt in his chest, worse than when an Unversed clawed its way out of his throat.

With a heavy sigh Vanitas let her go, overwhelmed but still in enough control to speak. “It was dangerous. Just... don't do it again.” Looking around he watched the Scrappers gather, their heads in his direction, and he swiftly sucked them back into his body. But Xion was still crying, though lowlier than before.

Ranking a hand through his hair – damn it was unnerving – Vanitas finally snapped, “Stop crying already!”

His shout came so sudden Xion flinched – and the shock made her indeed stop. Slowly she wiped the last tears from her eyes and held his glare, even as her vibrant blue eyes were still dangerously watery.

“Good,” Vanitas huffed before he crossed his arms before his chest.

Sniffling Xion rubbed the underside of her nose. “It worked,” she whispered with a small smile, “But you suck at cheering people up.”

He merely shrugged his shoulders. “I'm darkness. What do you expect?”

“Oh, I've seen worse already.” Whipping his head around Vanitas glared right into Riku's bemused face. “Sora would make stupid faces when girls cry.” Vanitas merely narrowed his eyes to slits at being compared to Sora, sharp golden knifes ready to stab.

“I think he did a decent job. Bet Vanitas didn't have so many times to try it before.” Again Mickey wore one of his encouraging smiles, which only made Vanitas glare even _harder_. Maybe he should have let the Unversed outside after all. Wreck the park or something, just out of spite.

Riku was still chuckling away as he asked, “But say Xion, what are you doing in town? Got no lessons this afternoon?”

Tears completely dried Xion shook her head. “Ansem said he was preparing some material and canceled class this afternoon. Naminé needed some new pens so we went shopping when I suddenly sensed my big brother, so I wanted to prank him.” Hands folded behind her back she turned her face to Vanitas. “I'm still sorry about that. Can I get you some ice cream to make up for it?”

Vanitas furrowed his eyebrows together as he slipped his hands back into his pockets. Tentatively he looked over at Riku and Mickey and shrugged his shoulders, a gesture they merely mirrored.

“Who's your big brother?” Mickey finally asked the question they all had on their minds.

“Why, Vanitas is!” Laughing brightly Xion stretched out her arms and snaked them around his waist, pulling tight. Baffled Vanitas tried to shake her off, his blank face whipping back to the masters. What was he supposed to do in such a situation?

“Listen, you got that wrong,” he eventually started, feeling utterly awkward as he pushed her away. “I call Ventus and Sora brothers, but technically, only Ventus really is. And you're _neither_ of them.”

Xion blew out her cheeks with a pout. “But you're both Ven's and Sora's darkness, right?”

Slowly Vanitas nodded, one eyebrow arched in suspicion.

“As a nobody, I used to be a form of twisted memory from Sora. And when I got a body, my heart ended up more on the dark side because of my deep connection and exposition to darkness. And since my darkness is originally _Sora's_ darkness, that makes it yours, right?” Xion replaced the pout with a beaming smile as she clapped her hands together. “So that makes you something like a big brother to me.”

Vanitas snickered darkly at the absurdity. Apparently Sora's idiocy was contagious – at a quite alarming rate, if he was completely honest – and now he was stuck with explaining how that theory was jack to retards.

“Hm, if you put it _that_ way,” Mickey murmured out of the blue – and instantly Vanitas' laugh died, stuck in his throat.

“And you two did act like regular siblings a moment ago,” Riku added with a sick amount of mirth in his eyes. “You got the visual part down, too. Dark hair, pale faces.”

“I fucking hate you,” Vanitas hissed in his direction. But with a look at Xion he knew she wouldn't change her mind regardless of whatever he said. Not that a brickhead like her would as much as listen anyway. At least now he knew where the odd familiarity came from.

No wonder he could hardly bear Xion suffering – Vanitas merely saw himself in her.

“But anyway, where _is_ Naminé?” Riku asked after he finished cackling like some chicken.

As if she suddenly remembered something, Xion turned on her spot and looked around. “She was right behind me when I dashed off.”

“Xion...” Tired Riku pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know she isn't the running type. She probably couldn't keep up and got lost.”

“Gosh. We should go look for her.”

“I agree. She isn't very familiar with Radiant Garden yet.” Riku paused and gave a quick glance at the area around. “Xion, where did you come from?”

“Riiight there,” she replied and wandered off, however turned back mid-way to grab Vanitas arm and pulled him along.

Roughly he wrenched his limb free again. “What do I care? She's not my _sister_.” He gave Riku a pointed look. “Or is she?”

“Nope,” Riku easily replied. Then the mirth returned in his teal eyes and even the corner of his lip pulled up in a knowing smirk. “But she's one of the few people you actually tolerate.”

Anger-meter quickly rising, Vanitas all but glared at him. The damn idiot was more attentive than he thought...

It was true he detested Naminé a bit less than the rest, but he wouldn't go as far as to say he _tolerated_ her. Or maybe he did. Vanitas didn't exactly have a lot of reference for feelings toward others beside negative ones.

As they walked Xion reached for his elbow, where he roughly shoved her off. “Stop that. It's irritating,” he growled before he swiped his hands back into the security of his pockets. What was it with the lights and their touchy-feely attitude all the time?

“Hmm okay,” Xion chirped as she led the group, but only fast enough to fall in step with Vanitas. “Say, can I call you Vani?”

“_Hell no_.” He slanted her a disgusted look through the corner of his eye. Vani? Seriously? He swore he could _hear_ Riku chuckling behind them.

“Uhm. What about Van-Van?”

“How about _Vanitas_?!” he supplied as a Flood manifested by his feet and quickly crawled up his body to settle on his shoulder.

Xion merely furrowed her eyebrows. “Nah. That's not a good nickname at all.” Quietly she hummed a little more to herself before she gave a nod of her head. “I think I like Van-Van. You can call me Shi-Shi in return!”

“Or I could go with _little pest_,” he sneered at her, but contrary to his plan Xion looked almost _delighted_. Vanitas had to close his eyes and take a few deep breaths to keep himself from throwing another fit.

At least Xion seemed to have had enough for the time being; she remained silent as they walked through a few streets and some rows of stairs. It took annoyingly long for them to get some progress, but eventually they reached the central plaza and spotted Naminé at the fountain. She sat on the edge, engrossed in her notebook, the pen in her hand moving with ease across the paper.

Only once Xion called out to her she looked up – and hastily packed up her pens and slapped the book shut. Everything disappeared in a large handbag, the color the same shade of white as her dress.

Xion ran the last few steps to her and grabbed her hands. “I'm so sorry Naminé! I should have considered you more...”

Naminé shook her head with a smile. “You were busy. It's okay, really.” She pulled free, lips still curled upwards.

Vanitas knew better though.

He could feel it – the spark of loneliness she carried in her heart, the sorrow of being abandoned.

And suddenly he recalled how tasty sorrow was.

They were close enough for it to be over in a heartbeat. Vanitas kept his eyes on the top of the fountain and tried to process whether there was another reason why he felt the urge to get the negative emotions out of Naminé. In the end he assumed it was her face; she looked too much like Xion and he already knew why he couldn't see _her_ troubled. It was just the same as to why Riku was so disgustingly nice to him all the time, too.

“Oh!” Xion suddenly called, “I know! To make it up, I'll buy you some ice cream, too!”

Naminé merely cocked her head. “Too?”

With a shy laugh Xion scratched the back of her head while she briefly glanced over at Vanitas. “I made Van-Van upset so he gets free ice cream.”

Suddenly excited Naminé clapped her hands together. “So did he accept being your brother?!” she asked, her blue eyes going wide with delight. Xion beamed even brighter back.

“Relation isn't something you can _accept_, you idiots,” Vanitas snarled with a heavy sigh. But he only got a confused look from Naminé in return.

… She couldn't be that dense, could she?

With a roll of his eyes Vanitas drew in a breath to speak, but Riku cut in before he as much as parted his lips.

“When you talk about siblings in the traditional sense,” he explained with his usual calm, patient voice, “You determinate their relation by physical marks, like shared blood. Though in this case, it's not exactly blood they share.”

“Oh. But then... what about you and Sora? In his memories he kept referring to you as a brother,” Naminé returned, her eyes shining with genuine confusion.

It was brief, but Vanitas noticed how Riku stiffened for a split second.

“We grew up together, so I guess he sees me as a brother from another mother.” The tone of his voice had changed a little as well, just a brush of tension and a pinch of sadness going with it.

Unseen Vanitas curled his lips in a faint sneer. Now _that_ was interesting. But before he could think of what to do with the new information Xion already grabbed his arm and tugged intently.

“Enough with the talk! Let's head to the ice cream place.” Her grin didn't falter, even as Vanitas pulled free with a threatening growl. In fact, she even stuck out her tongue at him before laughing it off and rushing to Naminé's side.

With a huff he shook his head, wondering how he got himself tangled in such a situation. Vanitas certainly didn't expect _this_ when they left the tower. And strangely enough, he did feel annoyed at Xion's adherence, but it didn't channel in consuming anger as it would usually do. Then again – if someone else got into so much physical contact with him, he'd probably tear their heads off right on the spot.

Through the corner of his eye Vanitas saw Mickey smile up at him, an odd gleam in his big eyes he couldn't place. “I'm just too full to start a fight now,” he snapped down at him, the hands in his pockets balling.

Mickey gave a giggle at his response. “Hunger can make people pretty feisty. I'm happy you feel better now.” He started walking and Vanitas tagged along, mostly because he had enough of Xion springing to his side to urge him ahead. After a few steps Mickey added, “It shouldn't be a problem to get ya to town a few times a day to eat...”

Vanitas had the feeling something was left unsaid, however he didn't dwell on it. Instead he shrugged his shoulders with a lazy 'whatever' on his lips and turned his gaze ahead, watching how Riku, Naminé, and Xion spoke quietly as they walked over the plaza. The wheels in his head kept turning and he realized Mickey was checking him out, testing the waters and getting a feeling on how to handle him. It felt a little like what Master Xehanort did back in the years, but his attempts of manipulation were far more subtle and sort of... gentle.

A strange, crawling sensation crept up Vanitas back and he reached up to cover his head with his hood before he absorbed the Flood on his shoulder. The spark of irritation grounded him almost instantly.

For the time being he'd just keep his guard around Mickey, however he would still comply to take trips to the town. He knew they were looking, studying him when he absorbed negative emotions, however the boost of his powers was more important. Regularly slaying Unversed and ending up as a bloodied mess was too obvious to go unnoticed.

All he needed was a bit of time to become strong enough to make an exit. Once he was on his own, Vanitas could take his time regaining his abilities and thoroughly plot his revenge.

Eventually they reached a shop with a couple of tables and chairs on its front and a large glassy desk on the inside. Countless of small containers lined up behind the glass, all filled up with some colorful substance. Some also had other stuff in them too, like flakes and swirls. They also had labels stuck in them with words and symbols across them. It was pretty swarmed with people as well, but they were all happy rather than upset.

Vanitas could make absolutely no sense of the place. And he also failed to understand what exactly this ice cream _was_.

“Hey Van-Van, which flavor do you like?”

He was still scrutinizing the display when Xion called out. “Whatever, I don't care.”

Xion furrowed her eyebrows and approached him, hands behind her back. “But you have to have a favorite flavor. Like, mine is sea-salt!” She cocked her head with a broad grin. “They don't have it here, but the ice cream is still pretty good. Trust me, I'm an _expert_.”

“Then you decide,” Vanitas replied with a sigh and a wave of his hand. Usually he would just settle for something random or deny it all together, but something told him Xion was indeed very... passionate about this ice cream thing. If he made a wrong move, she would keep on pestering him for days on end, just like Sora undoubtedly would.

For a moment he caught a glimpse at Riku's face, saw his oddly mirthful smirk, and instantly replied with a snarl.

He could tell Riku knew he never had ice cream in his life, he simply _knew_, and he was going to use it to torment him. However the moment he spoke up, Vanitas was ready to smash him right through the next wall, plots and ideas be damned. This mockery was _not_ going to be simply _accepted _on his end.

Before things escalated though, Mickey stepped forward and said, “There wasn't much of a variety back where Vanitas comes from. Why don't ya get a sundae with different flavors? My treat.”

“What?!” Xion gasped with honest shock flashing in her eyes. “Don't worry, Van-Van! We'll definitely find your favorite flavor!” With pumped fists she rushed back to Naminé's side and excitedly spoke to the lady behind the counter.

As she was distracted, Vanitas shot Mickey a look through narrowed eyes. The content smile he received in return gave him an odd vibe, as if Mickey actually had some hidden agenda by turning the events the way he did, but Vanitas couldn't detect the slightest bit of darkness in his being.

It was... confusing and mildly unsettling. Usually he could read people pretty well, especially since ulterior motives sprout from darkness. Had that ability dulled down, too?

The girls called Mickey over and he went to the counter, paying for whatever they ordered, before they all headed outside again. Riku motioned at two tables and a group of chairs before he sat down, quickly followed by the rest of the gang. In the end Vanitas sat in a corner with Xion by his side and Naminé opposite himself.

“Next time Axel and Roxas come by, I'll have them bring a sea-salt ice-pop for you, too. I'm sure you'll love it!” Ever so slightly Xion leaned closer, but she kept her hands to herself for a change. Could it be she was actually _learning_? However Vanitas kept his expectations low still; by the end of the day, there was still a lot of Sora in her. It was only a matter of time before she'd get all touchy and physical again.

Only half-way listening Vanitas allowed his eyes to wander a bit. Some of the tables around them were filled, mostly by young people. Riku and Mickey were talking quietly with each other, but it was too low and far away for him to hear. Ever so often they looked at him before they proceeded their talks.

Vanitas narrowed his eyes. They were plotting, weren't they?

Suddenly a girl came up with a plate, several drinks and a huge bowl on it. “Radiant Surprise?” she asked with a fake, bright smile on her face.

“Oh! Over here!” Xion waved her over, bouncing on her chair excitedly. The girl approached and set her plate down before she grabbed the big bowl and put it in the middle of the table. She smiled at Vanitas and tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear, but he didn't spare her more than a bored glance.

Instantly Xion grabbed the spoons and held one out to him. “Here you go, Van-Van! You can try first.”

He snatched the spoon from her hand and hissed, “Stop calling me that already.” Again Xion stuck out her tongue on him and Naminé chimed in with a giggle.

Stupid light girls, only sharing enough darkness with him so it felt wrong ending them...

Annoyed Vanitas turned his attention to the bowl. Several colorful balls were in it, their surface glistening as if it was wet. Xion urged him on but he took his sweet time, just to spite her a little, but even in slow-motion his spoon eventually dug into one of the top balls and found its way back to his mouth. The stuff had a subtle beige hue to it and seemed soft as it spread on the bottom of the spoon.

Eventually Vanitas pushed it into his mouth – and shivered ever so slightly when his tongue came into contact with it. “It's cold,” he deadpanned, just slightly surprised. While he knew ice, mostly from Aqua's attacks, he didn't expect ice cream to be taken so _literally_.

Instantly Xion took a spoonful of the same ball and ate it up. “Hmm, that's hazelnut. Do you like it?”

The taste wasn't exactly disgusting, but then Vanitas remembered his nightly experience at the park. “No.”

“Uhm...” Xion tapped her spoon against her chin in thought. “I'm sure we'll find something. Let's try the next!”

With a roll of his eyes Vanitas took a sample of the ball next to it. It was completely white and bland looking, but on his tongue it tasted surprisingly strong. At the end it got a bit sour.

“That's yogurt. What do you say?”

“It's alright,” he returned with a shrug of his shoulder.

“But do you _like_ it?” Xion coaxed. Vanitas merely gave her a look.

“How often till you get it? I'm _darkness_. I _can't_ like something.” He leaned back on the chair with a sigh. For a moment he had wanted to take another bite of that yogurt ice cream, but now he completely lost interest in it.

“But you _could_ try.” Playfully Xion nudged his wrist, now exposed since he needed his hand to hold the spoon.

Vanitas glanced at her through half-closed eyes, his lip curling in a sneer. “I don't _want_ to try,” he taunted in return.

Just as he expected Xion puffed her cheeks out at him. “You're so mean all the time.”

“Darkness. What do you expect?”

“Meany.” Xion tried to shot him a glare, but the attempt was so pathetic Vanitas couldn't help but snicker. Eyes closing a little more and mouth pulled into a smirk, she added, “You're a big meany, _Van-Van_.”

Instantly Vanitas' snicker silenced and he pinned her down with a glare. “_Little pest_,” he insulted back – and Xion threw her arms up in pure joy.

“Naminé! He said it! He called me by my nickname!” Her cheer was on the edge of shrieking when she reached across the table to shake Naminé's hands excitedly.

“That's not a nickname you idiot, that's an insult.” Xion ignored him completely, even as he shoved her shoulder, so instead he dug into the ice cream again and tried a few other flavors. Though Vanitas was set on confrontation by default, he didn't have the patience to pick hopeless fights.

Surprisingly enough, the ice cream hadn't his body twist the way the food did back in the tower. Maybe because it was pretty liquidish? Though, some flavors made Vanitas crinkle his nose while others were more bearable. He even discovered sour was quite tasty to him. Though overall, the underlining sweetness in every flavor had him have enough after a spoonful or two per ball. The girls did a quick job of his leftovers though.

It was... strangely soothing, when Vanitas thought about it. As Xion and he bickered back and forth his mind was taken off other things. And when he wasn't talking, he watched Naminé work on her notebook between spoons of ice cream. He even managed to forget about Riku and Mickey, plotting away on their own table with some drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> My, my, my. A new sister and ice cream?   
Seems like things are finally working a little in Vanitas' way :D 
> 
> Later on, I plan to have Van-Van actually explain how the entire darkness-absorbing works.   
For now - just think of it like a sponge sucking it up. 
> 
> Little fun fact, since my KH-expert said it sounds OoC:  
Riku did not ask Vanitas if he could remove darkness from anyone in hopes to get his own removed. We all know he came to term with the darkness in his heart :) Rather he wondered, since Van-Van and Xion obviously have a connection, if it only worked with certain people. 
> 
> Next part is gonna be a bit darker again.   
I think Van-Van got enough for of a breather to be ready for more drama ^.^
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	7. Choices

But eventually the sundae was eaten up and the present came rushing back, like it always did.

“Alright then.” The chair screeched as Riku got up. “Let's head back to the castle. I'm sure Ansem is already waiting.”

On a whim, Vanitas boo-ed at him – and after a moment Xion and Naminé joined in, jeering so loudly he started chuckling. Maybe winding up with a little sister had its benefits, too. However in the end they had little choice but to get up and follow Riku back to the castle, Mickey walking last to make sure nobody got lost on the way. And once Vanitas saw what kind of airheads the girls were, he understood the necessary of it. One time he actually found himself yank Xion back by the collar of her shirt when she absently strode off, distracted by a bird flying above their heads.

Briefly, he wondered how he ended up being defeated by the lights in the first place.

After a while they climbed the stairs up to the second floor, Vanitas finally getting a sense of orientation in the maze. Maybe he could even find his room if he looked hard enough. But he definitely got familiar with the location of Ansem's office; he knew where the set of double doors was even before it came into view.

Much like in the morning, he was waiting in the study when they entered. Although he had quite the company: Even and Ienzo were there as well, regarding them with confused gazes. Overall the room felt pretty crammed up, in Vanitas' opinion. It was still unusual to him to be around so many... _people_.

“What's the meaning of this?” Even barked as soon as they were inside, “I though it would be only the masters attending.” He regarded Xion and Naminé for a moment longer. “I suggest you two leave before you get in any danger.”

Instantly Vanitas felt a shiver work down his spine. Ever so slightly he readjusted his weight, a very bad gut-feeling suddenly spreading in his insides and the way Even and Ienzo eyed him made the knot in his abdomen thicker by the second.

“What could possibly be dangerous in here?” Naminé asked as she pressed her supply-bag against her chest.

Even seemed to want to say something, but Riku beat him by speaking up.

“We all agreed assumptions aren't going to lead anywhere.” He made a step forward and leveled Even with a hard stare. “As a scientist, I figured you trusted into facts?”

“I _do_,” Even insisted before he glanced at Vanitas, his lips twitching ever so slightly. “And that is _exactly_ _why_ I see fit to send the girls away.”

Then it suddenly clicked in Vanitas head.

They were in a semi-large room. Two wielders of light were present, along with Even and Ienzo who both had at least a little battle experience as former members of the organization. Being in the second floor would make bashing out a window dangerous and the corridor outside was fairly narrow for a proper fight.

_It was a trap._

Teeth gritted Vanitas summoned Void Gear in his hand and stepped back, but Mickey blocked the door as he was the last to walk in. There was no immediate way out.

“See?! I knew you couldn't let it on the loose!” Even shrieked as he pulled his shield up. It only had Vanitas growl lowly in his throat as he materialized a few Scrappers around himself, inching to one of the corners to cover his own back.

“You fucking set me up,” Vanitas accused with a low voice, golden eyes narrowed to malicious slits. He should have know better than to believe anyone saw more in him than a twisted abomination, a disgusting monster that only gave birth to gross offsprings. No matter how bright the glasses were the lights wore – by the end of the day, even they couldn't see what laid beyond the shadow of his existence.

The sharp sting of betrayal in his chest made it all so much worse though.

“Vanitas, please listen to me fi-” Riku said as he stepped closer to him, but Vanitas merely lifted Void Gear a bit higher, his knuckles turning white as every muscle in his body was tensed to the point of ripping.

Suddenly a small body flashed before him – dressed in a black shirt and a flapping skirt.

“If you wanna get to him,” Xion threatened as she summoned her own Keyblade, “You'll have to go through _me_, first!”

Vanitas was so bewildered he almost lost his composure. Never before had someone sided with him. Even Master Xehanort simply watched as he was killed by the lights at the Keyblade Graveyard, back then when they warred.

And yet there Xion stood, her small back turned to him as she readied herself to strike – on _his_ behalf.

“I don't want to get to or through _anyone_,” Riku insisted with a strained voice. His body was indeed tensed, but he was far from an actual battle pose. His cool teal eyes easily held Vanitas glare as he added, “If you think I'd actually plan to fight you, why would I take you here for that? Let alone in company of others you could threaten?”

It took a moment for the words to sink in. “Not even you would be so stupid,” Vanitas eventually mumbled and slowly relaxed his stance. The Scrappers disappeared into thin air, but he kept Void Gear firmly in his hand regardless.

Xion looked back at him over her shoulder and briefly declamped, too.

“Now's the chance – seize him!” Even demanded, though the damn coward remained in a safe distance behind his shield. Still his sudden call made Vanitas rise his Keyblade again, unsure whether Riku and Mickey would act on it. He was so agitated he could barely hold the Unversed back, the air around him almost too thick and heavy to even breathe.

It was Ansem's voice that echoed through the too quiet room, breaking the tensed silence.

“I understand you are afraid, Even. However I entrust Riku and Mickey with my very life.” He reached out to Even and laid a heavy hand on his shoulder. “If we were in any danger – and I _mean_ any – they wouldn't hesitate to protect us.”

When Even finally gave a huff and lowered his shield, Vanitas allowed his racing heart to calm down a tick. He was still on the edge, ready to strike any second, but more in control than a moment ago.

“Please accept my excuse, Vanitas.” A deep exhale had Ansem close his eyes and Vanitas sensed grief and regret in him, as well as the familiar spark of fear. “I admit I was also not... entirely unaffected by what I saw you being capable of. However I still believe we can help you.”

“Whatever it is,” Vanitas started with a snarl, “I refuse.”

He wasn't going to just sit around until they decided to finally stab him in the back. So far the lights had been openly hostile toward him, ready to strike while he wasn't even threatening them. If they were so afraid, it was only a matter of time before they'd chain him up and throw in a windowless cell for good.

Ansem studied him for a moment, then made a question he absolutely didn't see coming:

“Even if it would help you cope with being whole?”

Ever so slightly Vanitas flinched. He couldn't deny the spark of interest at those words, his heart yearning for a possible salvation, even if it was just a straw.

However he remained cautious. Wouldn't be the first time someone made empty promises only to use him in the end.

Carefully he dismissed Void Gear. “I'll hear you out. But you alone.”

“As you wish.” Ansem stepped aside and motioned for his office.

Fighting down the knot in his stomach, Vanitas straightened his back and walked over to the door. He didn't as much as glance around, his mind busy wrestling with his emotions while also coming up with a back-up plan.

If shit really hit the fan, he probably could take Ansem as a hostage and demand to be taken to another world. Or maybe he could force the lights to open a way to the realm of darkness and simply sent him there, all thoughts of revenge be damned.

Vanitas immediately spotted the red divan and went over, making himself comfortable there. As he demanded Ansem closed the door behind them, the lock turning noisily though it would do little to actually hold anyone back. Keyblades had their name for a reason.

“You wanted to talk, so talk. I'm listening.” He pulled the hood over his head, the slightly caged vision giving him the briefest sense of control while he stiffly sat on the divan. Almost like his helmet when he hid off his face.

Ansem remained standing, but he approached a few steps before he began talking.

“I checked the results of the examinations and got a theory. Please, feel free to interrupt me if something doesn't add up.”

“I will,” Vanitas confirmed with a blank expression.

“As you spent most of your life only capable of negative emotions, or lets say emotions born from darkness, you developed a great understanding of it while also wielding it with expertise. However that also came with several impacts on your body, as you were created against the very laws of nature. That is why you can hardly process food while being able to live off mere fragments of darkness in other people. Is that correct?”

Vanitas didn't as much as blink, only stared back with his arms crossed before his chest.

“The Unversed are extensions of your very being. They appear when you experience certain emotions at a certain intensity, almost like a result of excess voltage. And when it gets too intense, you tend to short circuit and hence create the Unversed directly from your core.”

“I don't get what you mean,” Vanitas grunted, his face still hard as stone.

Ansem grabbed his chin in thought. “Let's say your emotions are a glass full of water. Sometimes the water is so close to the edge it drips out. And to keep that from happening, your body materializes Unversed. Is this more clear?”

He gave a short, stiff nod. Now he could follow.

“When the Unversed come from your mouth – that's when your 'glass of emotions' is about to burst. Your body and heart protect themselves from falling apart from the intensity of your darkness that way.” He paused for a moment, copper-colored eyes searching for Vanitas'. “In the past you learned to channel that darkness through pain and control. And it worked since you naturally learned about your being and came to terms with it the best you could. But now everything is different, as merging with Sora's heart while you were shattered also changed the structure of your being. I suspect you're not far off the point where you started off back when you were torn from Ventus.”

Hearing all that Vanitas released a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, eyes slid closed. “So you say that all my efforts from _years_ of restraining myself were wiped clean?” he asked, eyes still closed and shoulders stiff.

“I'm afraid so.”

“_Great_.”

It took Vanitas _everything_ to keep himself from freaking out right on the spot. He was at the very edge of a new crazy outburst, the thought of reliving the first four years of his existence setting him off so much he was inclined to jump out of the window and hopefully snap his spine upon impact on the ground.

A couple of different Unversed manifested around Vanitas, showing how the realization affected him despite his collected exterior.

“But receiving part of Sora's light also means your heart was completed again. You're whole, in a way it would have never been possible when you merged back with Ventus.”

“And how _exactly_ is that helpful?” Vanitas snarled, his eyes snapping back open while his fingers cramped on the bridge of his nose from shier force. Even his arm started to shake a little.

A faint smile laid over Ansem's lips. “While we know little about hearts of pure darkness, we have learned plenty when it comes to understand hearts with both, light _and_ dark. You can access our entire research material and use it however you please.”

“_Again_.” Eventually Vanitas removed the hand from his face and openly glared at Ansem, the Scrapper next to him screeching dangerously. “How is that _helping_ me any way? I have to _fucking start over_!” He rose from the divan in a flash, Void Gear materializing in his hand as his entire body strained to go on the rampage.

“You have seen Xion and Naminé,” Ansem replied, completely unfazed although he flinched at the sudden movement. “They started off without neither understanding their bodies nor their hearts. But through our research material and knowledge, we could ease their way into living a life as complete people. I wouldn't say we can solve every single of their problem, however we are always ready to stand by your side.”

For a moment Vanitas allowed himself to consider the option. They seemed... free in a way. Free to laugh and joke and be sad and hurt. They were free to _live_.

And all that came from something as trivial as knowledge?

“We can't undo what happened to you,” Ansem said, suddenly quite close, “What we _can_ give you is the means to cope with your existence. However you will have to figure out the answers on your own and walk the path yourself.”

He stretched out his hand for Vanitas to take it, but all he could do was stare at it. His mind was torn apart, thoughts coming so fast they stumbled over each other in his head, almost like different voices all talking at the same time. What should he do? What did he _want_ to do?

As he stared at the extended hand, Vanitas let his Keyblade disappear and lifted his arms, his hands finding a place on his biceps as they squeezed hard enough to bruise.

He remembered how painful it was to come to terms with his being when he was alone in the badlands, remembered how faded the scars of the past were now on his body.

He remembered the numbness he felt when he faded in the realm of darkness... and he remembered the soothing sense of peace he experienced at a table with a huge bowl of ice cream in its center.

“I,” Vanitas started, his throat and lips so painfully dry. He took a deep breath and replied, “I need a moment.”

“Take as much as you need.” Slowly Ansem lowered his hand and started for the door. “Come out whenever you're ready.”

As soon as the door fell closed Vanitas slumped down on the floor, face buried in his hands. His legs tangled and moved under him until he sat cross-legged, his spine just curling enough to leave his head hanging between his shoulders.

After a while his Unversed gathered around him, some hovering above his head while others climbed his body. Fledgling emotions, primal in a way only a heart could feel. They were both, his greatest advantage when he broke out and his biggest weakness when they revealed what he felt. But still they were part of him, like his fingers and toes.

And yet there were blank spots in his heart, those new voids that gaped and threatened to swallow him from the inside unless he found a way to patch them up.

How do you fill an empty heart?

Maybe, just maybe, he would find an answer in a book. It couldn't hurt to look – unlike clawing his chest open with force and raw emotion like Vanitas used to do so, so many times before.

Was this one of the choices Ventus spoke of? A moment where he could decide to change his course? Or was it all just an illusion, a carefully masked yet well set trap? Wouldn't be the first time Vanitas got manipulated, he had been toyed with for his entire existence. It was only fair he used the world as a plaything as well, for him to enjoy until he was bored and broke it. Being with Master Xehanort taught him betrayal waited around every corner, along with agony. He mustn't forget that – never.

Vanitas was far away from calm, his emotions still all over the place, yet he summoned Void Gear and chopped down every single of his Unversed with a swift strike. He felt the skin break under his clothes as the emotions came back in a rush, but the pain kept him from getting overwhelmed. The cuts felt more shallow though, the flesh barely nicked. Perhaps he was finally getting stronger.

Legs a little shaky Vanitas got up and straightened, willing Void Gear away. It took a while to calm his breathing and heart, however he felt in enough control to walk out of the office. Carefully he put on the same blank expression from before and started for the door. The handle was cold beneath his palm as he pushed down, the room going silent as he appeared.

Once his eyes found Ansem, he steadied his stance and slipped his hands into the pockets of his jacket nonchalantly. “Fine. I accept your offer.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks passed strangely enough.

They talked a lot. Ansem explained they already had an on-going project for the former nobodies, classes that taught them to read and write and offered support when it came to process feelings. It was mostly started so Xion, Naminé, and Roxas would have an easier start as people. Since Roxas had a good chunk of Sora's memories as well as experiences in the digital Twilight Town, he was already training and studying at the Land of Departure to become a master. Xion was a bit of a slow learner while Naminé just recently came around, so Vanitas was going to attend the program along with them.

Beside all the studies, they also wanted to keep monitoring his body. Vanitas was fragile as he was; it was still hard to tell what might happen the longer he lived with a complete heart. In truth, so Vanitas expected, they were merely thirsting to study him, how he worked and where his weaknesses laid. It was impossible to miss the perverse desire in Even, though it was covered by tons of fear, and Ienzo seemed interested enough as he was.

He could have refused, but Ansem put it in a way it sounded more like an equal exchange – he got education and in turn gave his body for research to some degree. It was a catch Vanitas had expected somewhere anyway, so he accepted. He was more at ease that way, too; he was repaying for whatever they gave rather than take the scraps they pitifully offered him.

Riku and Mickey took turns with him to town to gather up darkness, but Vanitas was also forced to eat a regular meal in between. The girls eagerly dragged him from shop to shop those times, trying tons of different eatables so he could find something he liked.

However Vanitas still felt utterly restless, even with his days busy with studies and learning and coping with who he was. Whenever he dozed off nightmares came haunting him, his muscles twitched beneath his skin the longer he had to sit still. He was almost... jittery.

And so he started wandering through the castle.

After a while he found corridors and doors that led down and outside, to a part where the castle connected to the rocks that held up the city. Underneath was a big void, rocky pathways leading lower to a valley while pipes bluntly emerged from the castle itself, naked and on display unlike the posh front with the gardens. In fact there wasn't even grass nearby.

A perfect place for Vanitas to scratch his itches.

They hadn't spoken about it openly, but he knew Riku and Mickey were keeping an eye on him to make sure he wasn't using the darkness. It was obvious he turned shit at wielding it as well as his Keyblade, and allowing him to sharpen his senses and body too much would make him a threat to the lights before long.

But they underestimated Vanitas' will and creativity – and so, once he practiced enough to shield his heart from detection, he began sneaking off to the grounds and trained. He raided a stock of potions and ethers he found in one of the labs, as well as some spare pants and shirts he kept hidden between loose rocks. Once healed up and freshly showered nobody could tell what he had been up to. If he was lucky the lights would only catch on when he was strong enough to put up a real fight.

Usually Vanitas disappeared under the cover of the night. The masters would guard him from next door, so when he was careful they didn't notice him sneaking off. He also left a Bruiser in his room for extra distraction; as long as they sensed some manifestation of him, even if it was faint, he must still be around, right?

At first Vanitas only did some overall practice to strengthen his physique. Push-ups and squats he saw pictured in a book, along with jumps on and against the walls. He also trained to use the darkness, be it in attacks or to manifest as an altered form of his combat suit. Unfortunately the shackles kept him from phasing like he used to during battles, so he had to comprehend with speed. Once he found the healing items he started purposefully summoning Unversed and fought them off. At the end of the day that painful method still was the best when it came to boost the results.

Sometimes he sensed a pair of eyes watching him, but since they didn't belong to any of the masters, Vanitas decided to ignore them.

That was until one time a shout cut through the battle noises and broke Vanitas' focus.

It was late evening when he decided to train, body bared safe for a pair of boxers. There was no point in getting his clothes caked in blood, even if it were spares he stole somewhere along the line. Vanitas had been fighting off a Buckle Bruiser when the call reached his ear, the voice familiar enough to get him distracted – just as the shield of the Bruiser hit him hard in the side. The sharp edges sliced through his skin like butter, the wound burning and throbbing enough to make him grunt, yet he finished the Unversed with a struck of black lightning from Void Gear. The jolt when the Buckle Bruiser returned forced him onto his knees, free hand barely covering the deep, heavily bleeding cut in his side.

Golden eyes were narrowed in a glare as Vanitas looked around, his irritation spiking enough for a few Scrappers to manifest around him. “What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” he snarled as he got up, a wince escaping his lips and one eye pressing shut at the pain from the wound. It had been a while he got so severely injured.

“What _I'm_ doing here?! What are _you_ doing here!” Gasping at the large wound Xion dug through her pocket and pulled out a Hi-potion. “Here! Take this, quick!”

Annoyed Vanitas snatched the item from her and used it. Instantly his breathing evened out, the wound closing up to the point it was just a little cut. Two more potions and it would be completely gone.

“And why,” a delicate blush laid over Xion's cheeks, only highlighted by her pale skin, “Are you _naked_?!”

Vanitas deliberately rolled his eyes as he strolled over to his stack of potions. Silently he removed two bottles and drank them in one go, the warmth spreading in his center restoring his forces completely.

As he looked back he found Xion standing just where she was, head turned pointedly away from him but her pout still well noticeable. “You refuse to help me with my homework for punching monsters naked?!” She crossed her arms before her chest. “You're some lame brother, Van-Van.”

“I got underwear on,” Vanitas merely replied as he leaned back against a rough rock, “And it's not my fault you're too dense to get through the tasks.”

“Easy for you to say! Not everyone is a genius eager beaver like _you_.” She stamped her foot against the ground. “Got dressed by now?”

“No.” Vanitas didn't even bother to hide his chuckle.

“You're such a meany, Van-Van! A big, fat, dirty meany.”

He merely shrugged a shoulder. “I'm darkness. W-” - “What do you expect?”

Irritated Vanitas glanced over at Xion, a mischievous grin on her lips as she finished his sentence. The more time they spent together, the more the little imp in her heart showed up. She lacked the snark of Vanitas, but she made it up with many little pranks. Or by occasional mocks.

However he wasn't put off enough to forget his original question.

“Again – what are you doing here?” Vanitas asked as he pushed off and approached her. With a little concentration he willed the darkness to wrap around his lower half, just enough to cover his legs and the area beneath his navel.

He saw her eye flicking in his direction through the corner, then Xion gave a relieved sigh and turned fully around. “I saw Naminé draw something quite disturbing and bullied her to tell me.”

In fact, Vanitas could see Naminé slowly creeping closer from the path that led to his training ground. She also looked positively intimidated and avoided his glance.

Under other circumstances, Vanitas might have spared a few words of praise for Xion. She had indeed developed over the short time they knew each other. And she was always ready to gang up on others. But he _definitely_ didn't want her around while he worked toward his goal.

“This doesn't concern you.” His voice was flat as he spoke and he leveled Xion with a hard glare. “Go do your homework and leave me alone.”

Vanitas watched as she looked up at him, her hands closing into fists. “No,” Xion bit back after a moment. “I won't go away and let you get hurt again. Why are you killing the Unversed? Aren't they a part of-”

Vanitas made another step forward, his eyes narrowed and Void Gear back in his hand. “None of your business. Now. _Go_.”

He knew he was intimidating, even before Xion made a cautious step backwards. But she got a hold of herself quickly, straightened her back, and leveled him with a glare.

“No. I. _Won't_.” She closed the distance between them, so close to Vanitas he could sense the warmth of her body, but she barely reached his chest still. The difference in size definitely took some bite off her threat. “Stop doing stuff to the Unversed. It hurts you, doesn't it?”

“Even if,” Vanitas paused just long enough to swing his Keyblade at the nearest two Scrappers. He pointedly ignored the two faint cuts appearing near his neck after the impact. “None of your fucking business.”

Xion gritted her teeth, hands closed into shaky fists on either side of her body. To make his point clear Vanitas slowly turned around, ready to chop down the remaining Scrapper, but just as he lifted Void Gear Naminé suddenly threw herself in front of the Unversed.

“Move aside,” he demanded, voice cold as ice. After what Xion said, Vanitas was positive it had been Naminé who spied on him. She always tried to steal a glance when they sat in Ansem's study and refused to show the drawings in her notebook. Had she actually pictured him during his training?

Great. Now he had to take care of the evidence, too.

When Naminé didn't move and kept shielding the Unversed, Vanitas lifted his chin at it – and instantly the Scrapper followed his command and came closer on its own.

As it was just about to pass her, Naminé sunk to her knees and wrapped her arms around it, holding it still. “I-I can't watch that any longer,” she sobbed, squeezing down on the Unversed as it wiggled to get to its master.

“Then turn away.” His patience running thin Vanitas cramped his fingers around Void Gear and pointed its tip right at Naminé's head. “I won't repeat myself.”

“Please, Vanitas... Don't do it.” She turned watery eyes up at him, the sorrow in her heart so strong he could clearly feel it.

Why did she care so much? It was just an ugly monster he created for the sole purpose of slaying it. The pain was a sacrifice he was more than ready to make in exchange for raw power. It was all he had until he learned enough to actually begin his research.

Why would anyone protect an abomination like his Unversed anyway?

Yet there Naminé was, covering the creature with her own body.

But he was too angry and cruel to let it pass. Vanitas had made up his mind and wanted the Scrapper slain. And Naminé could need a lesson on how he treated people who dared to cross him. Just because they somehow got along didn't mean he was less of an antagonist as he used to be.

With a sigh he pulled his arm with Void Gear up, ready to strike down, but then he sensed a movement and quickly sidestepped – barely in time to avoid the tip of Xion's Keyblade as it swung at him.

“What the _fuck_.” Vanitas pulled his lips back in a snarl as rage filled his entire being. What was their deal?

Xion had a stern shine in her eyes, eyebrows drawn together. “If you won't listen, I'm gonna _beat_ some sense into you!”

After a moment of hesitation, Vanitas clicked his tongue and got in his combat pose. “Really now? You think _you_ can take _me_ on?”

Surprising enough, Naminé got up as well – and suddenly something like a wand appeared in her hand. “We both will,” she said, briefly any confidence in her voice but a spark of determination on her face.

Despite his rage, Vanitas couldn't help a smirk. It just got immensely more interesting.

“Bring it on!” he yelled and leaped off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Jup, this is a cliffhanger xDDD  
Unfortunately finding the cut for the next chap was pretty difficult this time around.  
I also realized the story has a painfully slow burn; I tried to incorporate more time-leaps in the following chaps, if only to avoid boring you guys out. 
> 
> Vanitas is slowly changing - he starts to get more comfortable around the girls.  
Beating them up is how he expresses love? IDK xD 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
I might post the next chap this weekend, to make up for the nasty cliffhanger ^.^
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	8. Bonds

Their Keyblades hit with a clank and a few sparks. Xion sank down on one knee as she held onto her's with both hands, one on the handle while the other braced near the tip. For such a small frame she was surprisingly strong; Vanitas found quite the resistance on impact, although she stood no chance against his strength.

Just as he added some of his body-weight into the push Vanitas heard the sizzle of flames and flipped back, avoiding the narrow pillar of white fire. It was a strong attack that came fast – a heartbeat later it would have landed on his free arm and shoulder. However before he could linger longer on the thought he had to leap further back, stars of chilly ice shattering against the floor where his feet were just moments ago.

Once he was in a safe distance, Vanitas regarded the girls. Xion was back on her feet, face even more resolute than before, and even Naminé wore a serious expression while her mouth moved just the slightest bit. Instantly the area around them glowed up, a solid Protect engulfing their frames as red particles rose from them. Had she actually cast a Haste, too?

Before he could stop it Vanitas whistled in astonishment. That was indeed much more than he had expected from them.

The smirk returned on his lips as he sped forward again.

This time Xion was quicker on her steps, even attacked as Void Gear bounced off the barrier. From the feel it was almost as strong as Aqua's, if Vanitas had to take a wild guess. However it was still easy to parry Xion's blows while he danced between the Fires and Blizzards from Naminé.

Slowly his rage faded away, replaced by the rush of battle and a strange thrill that made Vanitas' heart beat a little faster. What was that?

After a while he broke down Xion's Protect, the shield breaking down to particles, and he used the leverage to throw her off-balance before he hit her across the back with Void Gear. She released a pained yelp but still rolled away, her teeth gritted and one eye pressed shut as she came back up.

Vanitas sensed how Naminé threw a Cure in her direction and took the opportunity to shot a row of dark Fires at her. With every impact Naminé's barrier crumbled further away, but before he broke through Xion was already back at him.

He allowed her to chase him back, but her footwork was too bad to actually catch up with him. However suddenly Vanitas' foot didn't move – and with a brief glance he realized it was frozen over, connected to the ground.

That very moment Xion managed to use the opening and struck him hard on the shoulder with her Keyblade, sending him against the floor. She seemed almost shocked, concern flashing across her face for a moment, but then Vanitas kicked her feet away with his still free leg, sending her crashing against the ground as well.

He was just about to swing Void Gear at her when suddenly his entire body felt a hundred times heavier, pressing him firmly down. Vanitas was effectively pinned in the dust by the Gravity-spell, his limbs barely moving as he watched Naminé approach with her shining wand and helped Xion back up. They were both panting heavily, their shoulders moving with every hard breath, yet Xion swung her Keyblade around to hold it right under Vanitas' nose.

“Have you – _haaa_ – had enough?!” she gasped, her free hand coming up to wipe the sweat off her brow.

And then Vanitas exploded with laughter.

Not his usual dark snicker that send chills down his own spine at times; a bright, loud guffaw that left him with a feeling of lightness. Vanitas had no idea where it came from, but he couldn't stop as it echoed around the training ground and his lips pulled apart in a manner they never did before.

As quickly as it came it stopped and with a roll of his body he was back up, free from the magical prison. In a moment he swung Xion's Keyblade right out of her grasp, then he tackled both of them down with his body. When they laid in a heap, Naminé grunting loudly as she was at the very bottom, Vanitas laughed as his lips did the odd thing again.

For a moment he squeezed them down with his mass, then hopped off and quickly brought a few steps between them. His body was tingling all over, the shivers ghosting over his skin familiar but also strangely new. Eagerly he shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for the girls to get up, his fingers twitching in impatience.

“Come on!” he called, voice somewhat higher than usual. However Vanitas was too busy chasing the thrill he felt when they fought to pay it any mind. He wanted to feel that again. “One more time! Come on, hurry!”

Xion and Naminé stared at him, brows arched, then briefly glanced at each other. When they turned back both grinned brightly as they summoned their weapons and met him half-way as he speed toward them.

Unfortunately though, the second round was over disappointingly quickly.

After a few attacks Xion and Naminé laid both sprawled on the ground, covered in sweat and gasping for breath. Vanitas was sitting cross-legged next to them, a frown on his face and head rested on his fist.

“Your stamina is shit,” he sourly commented. Actually far more about their fighting style was off, but Vanitas figured it might be a good start. Xion was maybe even fixable, but Naminé was more than hopeless. She had barely moved and was wheezing, cheeks red and chest heaving so much she arched off the ground.

“You're just-” Xion lifted her head off the floor to speak, but let it fall back with a huff.

“How are you two gonna fend for yourself like that?” he asked instead, his head tilting in the other way. “Will you just be millstones around the neck of the other wielders?”

In a flash Xion got up and fell over, both hands bracing her off the dusty ground. “I'm not... just a... millstone...!” Her eyes pierced his with a glare, but it left Vanitas completely unfazed. In fact, he merely let his eyes wander off to Naminé, who was still fighting for breath.

“You're even _worse_. Xion threw herself into my attack twice to shield you off.” Lazily he switched his hands and cocked his head closer to Naminé. Finally her breathing calmed, but he knew for a fact she was fighting back tears instead.

“She's my friend! It's fine to protect those you care for!”

As Vanitas expected, Xion was back in a state where she could at least speak in whole sentences. Or maybe it was her anger that helped her regain control over herself.

“It's stupid to risk your own life like that,” Vanitas merely huffed, his eyes closing half, “You're no help once you're dead.” Sighing he straightened his spine enough to carry his head, arms lazily resting against his knees. “I get you lights like to make a deal about fighting side-by-side, but if you end up constantly covering for the weakest spot it's gonna be over in a flash.”

“You're just too strong, that's the point,” Xion murmured with a pout.

“Try saying that to the heartless. I'm _dying_ to hear what they got to say on the matter.” Vanitas knew his mood was foul, but really, after chasing the high he longed for and missing it because of something like physical weakness he couldn't help feeling bitter. And he was irritated by the recklessness of the lights. Just because Xehanort was gone it didn't mean they had a happily ever after. Darkness could come back in any form, any time. They might as well jump off the next cliff if they thought slacking up like that was a good idea.

A brief silence spread between them, but it only made Xion eventually boil over.

“Well, if you're so good, _you_ tell me how to do better,” she snorted with arms crossed before her chest and pout in place.

“Fine.” Vanitas got up and stretched his hand out to boost her up. He pointedly ignored Naminé as he pulled Xion a bit further away. “Alright. Battle pose,” he said, arms crossed before his chest.

After a moment of hesitation Xion summoned her Keyblade and pulled it back, the haft between her hands and knees bend and far apart. Her spine was crooked so much it made a curve, shoulders slumped down.

“Fucking useless,” Vanitas sighed with a shake of his head. “That pose is so unbalanced a breeze can throw you off. And what's wrong with your back?”

Xion narrowed her eyes at him but all he did was approach and nudge her on a certain spot on the shoulder. Barely enough to count as a shove, yet she swayed considerably. “If you can barely stand, you have no way to properly react to movements.” Quickly Vanitas stepped around her and Xion craned her neck, but she couldn't as much as get him back in her sight.

Head still shaking he walked back in front of her. “Alright. First of all, stand straight. Your feet should be a little apart, but not much further than your shoulders.”

Relaxing from the pose Xion followed his advice. “Now bend your knees, just a little... Yeah exactly like that. Now to your Keyblade. You want it to lay easy in your hands and in a way you can quickly move it to respond to attacks from different directions.”

A little uneasy Xion toyed with her Keyblade, her head tilting to the side. “Do you have some examples?”

Vanitas shrugged his shoulders. “Depends on your fighting style, mostly.” He summoned Void Gear in his hand and got in his usual stand. “My pose allows quick stabs, but I can also parry rather well and aim magic.” Carefully he moved his arm, emphasizing what he just said.

“I see...” Xion gave a nod and her face showed she at least _attempted_ to understand. She pulled her arm with the Keyblade back a little and held it at the rough level of her waist, just in front of her body.

Golden eyes observed her closely and a faint smirk curled over Vanitas' lips. Quickly he swung Void Gear at her, though a bit slower than he would usually strike – and Xion blocked his attack easily, her feet moving to keep her stable.

Suddenly her yaw dropped and she looked around, eyes wide.

“See?” Lazily Vanitas lifted his Keyblade to rest nonchalantly over both of his shoulders. “Balance is everything. Once you got that figured out your movements get smooth and swift.”

“I admit your advice is preeeetty good,” Xion mumbled with a small smile.

“But that's still not enough,” Vanitas dryly retorted, “What you need most of all is some stamina and training. A kitten hits harder than you.”

As if to prove him wrong, Xion punched him in the shoulder.

“Correction. A kitten is more dangerous since it got claws.”

“If we train with you... Will you stop using the Unversed?” Naminé suddenly asked.

Expression blank Vanitas turned his head around, regarding her. Her shoulders were still heaving but the panting had stopped. She was kneeling in the dust, her blue eyes hopeful as she looked back at him, lips pressed to a thin line.

Annoyed Vanitas dismissed Void Gear. “Why should I?”

For a moment Naminé held his gaze, but then she turned away. “You never smiled when you fought the Unversed...”

Her voice had been little more than a whisper, yet Vanitas heard the words too clearly for his own taste. With large steps he closed the distance between them and crouched down, eyes narrowed at Naminè's face.

“So you _have_ been stalking me,” Vanitas concluded monotonously. For a moment he pondered pushing the matter more – why was she coming, since when did she know, why didn't she speak up sooner? However something else about her words caught his interest more:

Had he... actually been smiling? Was that what his mouth had been doing? How was it labeled, that feeling in his chest, that high he wanted to experience again so badly? That feeling that made him 'smile'?

“Yeah. It sure looked like you were having fun,” Xion chimed in. Quickly she caught up and moved to sit next to Naminé, one of her hands finding a place on her shoulder. “Come on, Van-Van. We can all get stronger _together_.”

“Fun...” Softly Vanitas repeated the word, tested it on his tongue. He didn't _completely_ hate the sound of it.

However he knew better than simply give in.

Chuckling he sat down, a sneer pulling on his lips. “You can't even stand for two rounds. The Unversed come and go just as I please and they go all out, too.” With a lazy wave of his hand Vanitas summoned a good dozen of Scrappers and Floods before he send them back with a click of his fingers. Though the second info was a lie – they did listen to his command, but only to a certain degree and before he was worn out – the thought of pushing the girls was far too tempting to pass up.

Xion and Naminé exchanged a look. “We can go all out, too! And we will work on our stamina,” Xion insisted and hopped a little closer. “We just don't want you to get hurt, you know.”

“Holding back is no good. Besides, we got potions.” Vanitas gestured at the group of rocks where he kept his secret stock. “And if you're so adamant about me getting injured, I can simply wear my combat suit. Endures blows better than all of your clothes combined anyway.”

For a moment Naminé worried her bottom lip, then her eyes flashed up. “But we have conditions, too. You aren't allowed to train with the Unversed anymore and I _will_ heal all of your possible wounds every time.”

Clicking his tongue Vanitas lifted his chin. “What makes _you_ think you can come up with conditions?”

“Because otherwise... I'll tell Mickey and Riku what you have been doing here,” Naminé replied with a cool smirk.

Damn. Vanitas hadn't seen the trap before it snapped shut around him. Naminé was far sneakier than he gave her credit for – a surprising new, rather dark trait.

“Hu? What's the problem with Mickey and Riku knowing?” Xion threw in and they both moaned in irritation. In fact, Vanitas even covered his face with one hand and a shake of his head.

“And there we have Sora again,” he muttered under his breath while Naminé, with her bottomless patience, explained how Vanitas had been _obviously_ training in secret all this time.

Xion was his sister alright. But how did it come that _he_ ended up with all the brain-cells?

Not that Vanitas complained about his intelligence. But, sometimes, he wished half of his brain was distributed equally between his siblings. His life would be so much easier then.

“So, what do you say?” Naminé asked after a while, pulling him out of his misery. As he looked up Xion was beaming at him, the grin stretching from cheek to cheek. They knew they had mostly won, but Vanitas wasn't entirely done just yet.

He could play this game, too.

“We train every day,” he demanded with a cross of his arms.

“That's fine – but we keep attending classes and do the homework, first.”

“Ugh, that's unfair,” Vanitas grunted with a snarl in Naminé's direction, “Xion takes forever to do hers.”

Naminé leisurely shrugged her shoulders. “You could always help her,” she prompted with a gentle smile.

Quickly Vanitas backpedaled; Naminé wasn't _sneaky_. She was _devious_.

He couldn't help the acknowledging chuckle rumbling in his chest.

“Alright. But only if _you_ throw at least three offensive spells at me.” Vanitas' smirk grew broader as her eyes widened and she paled a little. “At _full_ power. Before _every_ training.”

“That's-” Naminé started, her confidence swaying once more. “I can't! It's way too dangerous-”

“I'm not gonna give that condition up,” Vanitas insisted with a stern voice, “However I will reconsider to stop using Unversed... _if_ you agree.”

Lost for words Naminé darted her eyes between him and Xion, the discomfort so clear on her face you could touch it. Once her eyes landed back on Vanitas he arched an eyebrow, not even batting an eye when the blue of her orbs turned watery. The silent plea made something inside him twitch, but he forced the sensation away in favor of getting his will.

Eventually Naminé dropped her head and stretched out her hand. “Fine. Deal.”

Confused Vanitas looked down at the offered hand. Naminé didn't move but kept still, as if she was waiting for something.

“Van-Van, you're supposed to take her hand and shake it,” Xion whispered into his ear.

“Why would I do that?” Vanitas asked in return, eyes back down at the pale hand hovering between them.

Finally Naminé looked up again, her free hand wiping the single tear that escaped off her cheek. “It's a gesture. By shaking hands, we promise to both hold onto our word and accept the conditions we agreed on.”

“Whatever.” With a sigh Vanitas reached out and closed his hand around Naminé's firmly before they slightly shook their arms. He wasn't a fan of touches still, but if that brief contact was all she needed to comply, so be it.

Before he could let go Xion threw her hand on top of theirs, pushing down for a moment. “It's our promise!” she cheered, driving a faint laugh from Naminé. Their hands sunk down again and the girls started talking to each other, their voices a bit brighter than before, just like the lights in them.

Vanitas leaned back on his hands, just watching for a moment, then he made a soft noise of surprise.

Just before they fought, the training ground had been filled with darkness, almost so much he worried the masters might find them. However now it was gone, disappeared into thin air – without him needing to absorb it.

Hm. Odd.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Thinking back, the price might have been not as low as Vanitas thought of it.

“Come on. Use that brain of yours,” he snarled, foot bouncing under the table. Patience had never been one of his strengths, but Xion was truly testing his limits with the simple tasks Ansem gave her. It wasn't even that hard; his homework was at least double as hard! And he finished _an hour_ _ago_!

“I'm trying! It's difficult!” Xion hid a little further behind her book.

Exasperated Vanitas ranked a hand through his hair as he took a deep, steadying breath. “It's really not,” he mouthed and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen. Quickly he scribbled down the word 'walked', his writing sloppy and hard to read still. However he rather cared for the result than the looks, really.

“_As Ansem explained_,” he snarled with a clear strain in his voice, “Past form verbs just add this ed at the end.” The tip of his pen tapped down at the last two letters a bit too hard. “But the lexicon only has present form of verbs. _So_ to _find it_ you gotta cross. This. Out.” Vanitas made a line right between the 'walk' and 'ed' before he crossed the later out, a strike with each word. Dramatically he dropped the pen on top of the sheet, two Floods crawling between their chairs.

This wasn't worth it. This so wasn't worth it.

Their new routine had started a mere week ago and Vanitas was already at his limit. And they hardly did a proper training anyway since both Xion and Naminé got out of breath annoyingly quick, so all they really did was some running and push-ups.

If Xion didn't finish her work in the next fifteen, he was going to smash a table out of a damn window.

Thankfully enough her face lit up, like she had an epiphany at last, and indeed her pen moved across the paper far quicker than before. Mesmerized Vanitas stared down at her hand, far too cranky to read in the book he found the other day, and finally, _finally_ Xion set down the pen.

Instantly Vanitas pushed off the table and stood, his tension relaxing ever so briefly.

Naminé followed suit, her supplies quickly disappearing in her bag before she got up as well. Xion had already bolted out of the study to her room to change, the door still wide open as she skidded off. They all knew the drill by now.

A few minutes later they met down at the entrance of the castle, Vanitas already tapping his foot impatiently. His body itched to move, blow off some steam, and every minute he was stuck with too much energy left him only more restless.

Especially with Riku leaning on the wall next to the entrance, teal eyes sharp and observant.

“Going for a run again?” he prompted, but Vanitas ignored him. Throughout the week he had asked if he could join, actually did twice, however soon enough got the hint they wanted to keep to themselves. For whatever reason he let them be – maybe as some sort of reward for the way Vanitas took his studies.

Against his better judgment, the lessons from Ansem were... interesting. Vanitas already knew the entire alphabet and could read easier books just fine. There was still a lot he had to look up, but the gab was steadily closing. How he helped Xion lately was also taken as a sign of his goodwill, especially since he managed to surpass her level already in the short time they had been in Radiant Garden.

However Vanitas forced himself to see things as for what they were:

Means to an end aiding him toward his vengeance.

The fun was a nice little bonus, though he tasted it disappointingly rarely. But they were getting there. If Xion and Naminé kept up well that evening, he considered moving back to actual battle exercises. Learning was nice and dandy and gave him something to occupy his mind during difficult nights, but Vanitas still yearned for the physical power he once possessed.

After what felt like way too long the girls came stumbling down the stairs and rushed toward them. They switched skirts for short pants, mostly since Vanitas liked to add some random obstacles in their course that required climbing and jumping. Panties getting exposed was not an excuse he was going to accept.

“See you later!” Riku waved at them with a grin as Vanitas strolled off with a roll of his eyes. He set a comfortable pace for warming up as he ran over the plaza and into one of the side-roads. Once in a while he looked back over his shoulder, making sure Xion and Naminé were still within sight. They got lost one time and when they came back to the castle, Riku, Mickey, and even Ansem gave them a thorough scolding. It even went far enough to be a serious warning; if they acted up again, Vanitas was going under strict house arrest and the masters would be back on his toes. For as much as he hated rules, he knew better than to push his luck all too far.

So when black mist suddenly blocked their path, Vanitas instantly pulled his face in a frown. His fingers itched with the urge to summon his Keyblade but he resisted – which was good when a familiar red-haired giant and a blond sap came out of it.

“Roxas! Axel!” In a flash Xion tackled the two in a hug, so fast she actually dashed by Vanitas. He merely watched with his arms crossing before his chest, golden eyes sharp and hard. Why was his gut telling him they were up to no good?

Affectionately Axel ruffled through Xion's black bangs, a chuckle leaving his mouth. “We finally got a bit of a breather and thought we should swipe in for some ice cream at the usual spot.” A smile curled over his lips as he spoke, but there was a gleam in his eyes Vanitas didn't like. At all.

“Come on Xion, let's get going. Wanna join, Naminé?” Roxas threw out, inviting Naminé along right after he shot Vanitas a glare.

Alright, that was as far as he'd let things go.

“The girls won't go anywhere. We're supposed to stay together,” Vanitas huffed and pointedly approached the trio. He gave Xion a stern look and instantly some of her cheer vanished, replaced by a spark of uncertainty.

Roxas adjusted his stance and met him head on. “Who are _you_ to decide over their heads like that?” He rose his chin at Vanitas and puffed out his chest, but it did fairly little to look intimidating.

“_I am_ the one in charge.” Vanitas made a last step forward and tensed up, his feet just briefly parting so he could jump in battle stance in less than a flash. In a way he hoped Roxas would give him a reason; the urge was strong and banging against the doors in his heart, demanding to be unleashed.

“He's right, Roxas. We'll get in trouble if we disappear... even if it's for ice cream.” Naminé offered him a smile Vanitas knew too well. A gentle pull up of lips, a bit apologizing but stern nonetheless.

Xion stepped in as well and suggested, “You guys could get the sea-salt ice cream and we'll have it here?”

“I'd actually,” Axel spared Vanitas a cautious glance, “Liked to talk to you guys at the tower. It's been a while we had the chance to catch up.”

It took Vanitas less than a heartbeat to count one-and-one together.

“What, afraid I'm corrupting their precious lights?” he asked with a dark chuckle. “Or do you want to warn them from being near the fearsome bad guy?” On a whim Vanitas materialized a couple of Floods around himself, the pressure easing a little in his chest at the act.

Instantly Roxas and Axel stiffened, but still didn't call on their Keyblades. What a shame.

“Come on Van-Van, please stop riling them up...” Xion's voice was quiet as she spoke and she forced a laugh, a weak attempt to relax the tensed situation. But Vanitas had no intention to pass the chance for a good quarrel up. If he nudged just a little more, he was sure Roxas would eventually lose his temper and attack.

Moving, ever so slightly, Vanitas pulled his lips in a sneer and pinned Roxas with a glance, ignoring the movements in the corners of his vision. It only lasted a few seconds before the blue eyes narrowed back at him, Roxas pacing away from the group while their gazes stayed locked.

For a brief moment Roxas looked at the Floods. “You're not scaring anyone with your act,” he all but spat, shoulders tensed.

“You think I'm acting?” In slow-motion Vanitas got into his battle stance, arm pulled back but Void Gear not called yet. With a bark of laughter, one of the kind that made bones rattle with fear, he added, “Little light... I don't need to make an effort to be your greatest nightmare.”

Delighted Vanitas watched how Roxas swallowed hard, felt how his heart clenched up just a little bit. Oh, he hadn't had that much fun in _forever_.

Without really meaning to, Vanitas absorbed the Floods and instead engulfed his body in a dark miasma, the power sizzling around his frame as his skin began to crawl with anticipation.

“I said stop it,” Roxas bit out, strained.

Vanitas merely summoned Void Gear into his hand. “Make me,” he taunted with a wink and a sneer large enough to cover his entire face.

With a low growl Roxas also summoned one of his Keyblades – the dark one.

Aaah, almost there. Now Vanitas had just to fake an attack so he launched off first-

“Okay boys, that's enough,” Axel suddenly threw in, breaking the moment of pure concentration. When Vanitas glanced over he saw him stretch his arm out, a device with strange spikes on the top in his hand. “I just phoned up Riku and he said it's fine.”

In fact there was someone on the big screen that looked somewhat like Riku – when Vanitas squinted his eyes at the image. But then a voice came from the device and every bit of doubt was brushed away.

“Vanitas, please don't go pick a fight,” Riku said, strained and a little tensed. “It's okay if they make a trip, but I'm sorry, you can't join them. If you like, I can-”

“They don't want me along _anyway_,” Vanitas spat with a scowl. Anger flared up in his chest, however not because of the denied fight.

For a moment he glared at Xion and Naminé, heart pounding with a strange pain he hardly felt before in his life.

In a spark of fury he smashed Void Gear against the ground, the Keyblade exploding into fragments of darkness. Someone called after him as he turned around, but he only shouted a 'fuck you' back before he picked up his running.

Jaw so tensed his teeth gritted Vanitas paced through the streets, his feet stamping down with every step while he tried to tame the disappointment roaring in his chest.

Instantly his strides became harsher. Vanitas felt like an idiot for being so irritated. Life taught him nobody cared particularly much for him – for Master Xehanort he was useful, but that was about it. Who knew why Xion and Naminé started hanging out with him, but ultimately, Vanitas knew they wouldn't pick him when given the choice.

Still... it somehow hurt to watch them go with their friends, leaving him behind without as much as a second thought. He had seen the look on Xion's face, the delight upon seeing the two guys she felt connected to. And Naminé? She was so desperate to find a place to belong, he knew even without looking that her face lit up the moment Roxas invited her along.

It only made sense. Vanitas was a creation of darkness, an evil monster. An abomination beyond salvation, as Master Xehanort once said. An uncontrolled beast they tried to domesticate. Who in their right mind would willingly stay by his side?

At some point Vanitas had started running so fast his breathing came harder, puffs of air that tried to fill his lungs while darkness crept up his spine. His hand ached for the familiar weight of Void Gear, his arm itching to chop down on _something_. The negativity was swirling deep in his chest, channeling into rage and anger like so often before.

In the end... Vanitas was still the same, trapped in the vicious circle he labeled life.

People were standing up ahead and on instinct he glided into the next street to his left. The area was new, somewhere at the outskirts of town from what Vanitas could tell. It even looked a little run down; corridors that had large rocks lined on the side, opposite walls with fences that opened to a cliff.

A good place to be alone – and let the pressure finally out.

Vanitas was so agitated he hardly had to concentrate to summon a few Unversed – Scrappers and Bruisers appeared as Void Gear materialized in his hand. In the corners of his being sadness seeped in, thick and slow, sprinkled with the venomous betrayal.

No. Vanitas wouldn't allow it to overwhelm him.

Eerily silent he charged at the Unversed, sliced through two Scrappers before he took down a Bruiser. The rest of the group attacked him from the sides, closing in as Vanitas allowed the jolts of pain and anger to ground him.

Once Vanitas finished off the wave, he summoned the next.

And then another.

And then another.

_And then another_.

The ache helped, but it wasn't enough – and with every Unversed Vanitas killed, his anger got more fuel. He thought back to Xion and Naminé, chuckled darkly at the fragility of their so-called bond and their promise. Hadn't they agreed to keep their word?

Empty promises, there to entertain the lights until they grew bored.

Well, Vanitas was ahead on that aspect. If they broke their word, he had no need to stick to whatever he agreed on either. The fresh, throbbing cuts and the ongoing ache in his chest were ultimately the only thoroughly dependable thing in his life.

Sweat ran down his temple and the gray shirt was dark with blood as Vanitas approached the last Scrapper of the latest wave. It had stopped fighting back, his mind already feeling the first after-effects of chopping so many Unversed. Whatever he called up next would just stand around and wait for him to kill it.

Eventually Vanitas stood in front of the Scrapper, its red eyes staring up at him. Waiting for its end like the docile minion it was.

Drawing in a breath Vanitas lifted Void Gear above his head, his golden eyes trained on the Unversed as his body throbbed with pain. For a moment he entertained the question to why he had to put up with all that, how he ended up on the same path as usual after not as much as two months after he decided to search for answers.

He had to make sure to tell Ventus about the _huge impact_ the damn choice he made actually had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Here the new chap, as promised. I even made the cut a little farther this time, so the chap is a bit longer :) 
> 
> I'm pretty much engrossed in my other project with Van-Van, but I have a bunch still written ahead so I can keep updating.   
Although, it might come slower since I - hopefully - find a job in a bit which will greatly reduce my time writing.   
Apologies >.


	9. Mixed Feelings

Teeth gritted Vanitas swung his Keyblade down – but before it hit Void Gear bounced off a shiny, crystal barrier.

Confused Vanitas whipped his head around, checking the area. He was certain his Unversed were not able to randomly use Protect-spells, which only meant someone else must have cast it. Eventually his eyes landed on the stairway that led to the corridor – and there spotted Naminé leaning against the wall, breathing hard while she had her wand in hand.

“Don't interfere,” he snarled, his anger flaring back to full strength in his gut. While Vanitas had managed to at least somewhat calm him mind, seeing the cause for his foul mood set him right off again.

“You... Promised...” Naminé panted still, face covered in sweat as her shoulders rocked with every gasp.

Had she been running after him? Had she... chosen to pursue rather than leave?

Quickly Vanitas shook off the pointless questions. “Promises never meant anything to me. Why should it now?”

“I,” drawing in a deep breath Naminé took the last few steps and straightened in the small corridor, “I won't... Forgive you!” Her hands tightened around her wand and her face pulled in a scowl, blue eyes narrowed down to slits.

Although tired Vanitas sensed the wrath sparking in her being, along with worry and sadness and fear. Yet Naminé swung her wand and actually shot a Fira off in his direction. He only got so far when a second wave followed right up, hitting him hard in the side. The fire burned on his skin but he put it off with a cover of darkness, the flesh warm and tender under the layer of his manifested malevolence. Hopefully the clothes didn't get all too strained by the attack.

Baffled he stared over at Naminé, confused she actually went through with her attack despite the conflicting feelings swirling in her heart.

“You want to fight,” she hissed as she adapted her stance, “Then I'll be your opponent.”

She didn't wait for a response as a Thundara crashed through the corridor, sending Vanitas on his knees with violent jolts. Snarling he came back up and charged at her, an angry roar ripping off his lips, and her barrier cracked considerably after the first blow with his Keyblade.

The urge to hurt her was strong, so strong Vanitas felt it itch in his fingers.

A Blizzara forced him to fall back, giving Naminé just enough time to swallow up an ether and refresh her Protect. Charging back in Vanitas shot off a row of black Fira himself, Void Gear coming down so hard on her side her body was launched against the wall despite the barrier.

Suddenly Naminé cast a Water-spell against the ground, wetting the entire area, before she followed up with a Thunder.

The water enforced the effect of the spell – and Vanitas actually cried out as the fell, body twitching uncontrolled like he was paralyzed. During their sparring match Naminé had mostly used supporting magic; it never occurred to him she was _that_ good at offensive magic as well. But he just learned the hard way she could fight almost decently, too.

Yet, despite his brief astonishment, the urge to hurt her remained.

Teeth gritted Vanitas glared at her, fighting his body to regain control over it. In that position he was defenseless against whatever Naminé cast next – and despite the strange feeling that she wasn't going to take advantage of it, the dread still crawled into his conscience so strong it was uncomfortable.

Out of mere instinct a Tank Toppler manifested next to Vanitas. Instantly it attacked Naminé, which she replied to with a Fira.

“Idiot! Run away!” Vanitas bit out between jerks, his eyes narrowing as he watched the Unversed begin to swell and glow in red. In that condition, he couldn't suck it back into his being – and his body was still acting up too much for him to slay it down in time.

Torn out of the rush of battle Naminé let her mouth fall open, blue eyes darting between the Tank Toppler and Vanitas. But instead of rushing back up the stairs she ran to his side, wand disappearing as she avoided the puddles of electrified water all around them.

“The fuck are you doing?! Get out!” Vanitas growled as she slipped under one of his arms, gasping softly when the jolts hit her as well, though with less intensity.

“Not without you,” Naminé bit out as she stretched her legs, helping him to stand. He tried to shove her off but she stubbornly clung onto his arm over her shoulders, keeping him close as they headed down the corridor.

Vanitas knew they wouldn't make it in time. His jerky legs where slowing them too much, even as the Tank Toppler got so large it got stuck on the rocks and walls. They only had a couple of seconds left before it would explode.

Teeth gritted Vanitas looked back over his shoulder, scanned the area. No place to take cover from the blow. In the corner of his vision he saw the Unversed glow in a constant, threatening red.

Clicking his tongue and using every last bit of force he had left, Vanitas waved his free arm in an arch. Quickly darkness curled around both of them, almost like a cocoon, as the Tank Toppler finally exploded behind them.

\------------------------------------------------------

A grunt escaped Vanitas as he came to, pale eyelids blinking open. Above him he saw the sky colored in yellows and reds, first signs of dusk, and once he tilted his head he noticed a massive stone wall stretch up into the sky. He could make out some sort of rocky trail leading up, littered with rocks in all shapes and sizes.

“Thank goodness! You're finally awake...”

Eyes closing Vanitas turned his head toward the voice. He felt tired, his body heavy, and his memory was foggy at best. Once he looked up his vision was filled with brightness – white and blond and watery blue.

Slowly he remembered; he had been fighting Unversed after he was abandoned. At some point Naminé had showed up and they battled each other. Then suddenly a Tank Toppler manifested and went off.

Groaning Vanitas eventually sat up, his hand coming up to cover part of his face. Vaguely he recalled darkness engulfing them as the Unversed exploded. However the layer barely protected them as they were blasted out of the corridor, right through the fence. If he looked at the distance they fell he was actually surprised. From what Vanitas could tell his head was throbbing with pain, but otherwise he was pretty unharmed. Just really, really tired.

Slowly a thought crept into his mind and he turned to Naminé with narrowed eyes.

“You healed me, didn't you?” he bellowed, golden eyes piercing her with a glare. Her clothes were dusty, even bits of blood here and there. Her cheek was red from a scrap and her arm turned purple from a large bruise – all clear signs she didn't use the magic on herself.

“We agreed I would always heal your wounds,” Naminé mouthed back, lips a flat line once she finished. “And though you don't want to hear it – you _shielded_ me when we fell and ended up much rougher than me. If you hadn't, now I'd be...”

Naminé trailed off and looked away, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

“I broke my promise,” Vanitas deadpanned, still staring at her as he added, “You have nothing that binds you to whatever we agreed on.” With a sigh he pulled his legs in, crossing them underneath himself. For a moment he wondered how long they had been stuck in the valley and if the masters already sent out a search party. Corridors randomly blowing up surely caught some sort of attention, too, even in such run down corners.

The silence stretched on and Vanitas watched how Naminé toyed with the hem of her shirt, nibble fingers pulling at the white fabric. He could tell she had something on her tongue, but over the weeks he realized she was oddly reserved at times and he had absolutely no nerve to force her to speak up. There were more pressing matters, for instance what he was going to say once they were back at the castle.

Like so often before Vanitas had allowed his raging emotions to take the lead, probably fucking up every sort of privilege he earned himself so far. And to make it worse he was _still_ too weak to fight properly back.

Another heavy sigh escaped his lips as Vanitas finally got up. “Time to head back. Let's move.” Determined he strolled over to the massive wall, his head tilting a little as he looked for a spot where they could head upwards. Climbing would have been much faster, but Naminé's physique was just as bad as her stamina. He definitely wasn't going to risk her snapping her neck – not because of their relation, but rather because she was Riku's little favorite.

Suddenly a high pitched cry echoed through the valley, making Vanitas jerk around in a flash. Naminé was kneeling on the ground, face pulled in a pained grimace, and her hands shook as she grasped her right shank.

That was when Vanitas saw how swollen and oddly twisted her ankle was.

“Damn it,” Vanitas hissed as he approached and sunk down on one knee, eyes trained on her foot. The skin was purple and as he stretched out his hand, fingers only hovering above it, he clearly sensed the heat radiating from the swell. “Heal it up,” he ordered, not even bothering to look up at her face.

Naminé remained silent – but just as he was about to snap she whispered, “Sorry... I can't. My magic is exhausted and I ran out of items...”

_Of course_. Snarling Vanitas balled a hand into a fist and hit the ground, too tired to swallow down his emotions. No way Naminé could walk with that; the ankle was probably broken and Vanitas didn't know healing magic to fix it up.

“You can go get help. I'll wait here,” she suddenly said and eventually Vanitas looked up at her face. Her forehead glistened with sweat, probably from the pain, but Naminé's lips still carried that small reassuring smile of hers. Encouraging, but also harboring a spark of melancholy.

When he didn't offer a reply she added, “It's okay. I'd only burden you.”

She was right. And Vanitas would lie if he said he disagreed.

Still, something about leaving Naminé behind... didn't sit well. Vanitas' gut twisted at the idea and he couldn't help but be reminded how he had felt just a few hours ago, when he thought he had been abandoned again.

The anger was still there, the urge to leave her back strong – but he was not the slave of his own emotions.

“Sit,” Vanitas snapped, tone harsh and cold. When Naminé didn't react immediately he clicked his tongue and grabbed her leg, yanking hard as he twisted it so that her foot turned at him. A little more careful he adjusted the pose, pointedly ignoring the sharp gasp coming from Naminé as he rested the foot on the ground and pushed until her ankle was at least somewhat close to a right angle. Slowly he moved his free hand close to the wound and willed the darkness to lay around it, black straps like from his bodysuit engulfing her shank and foot while keeping the ankle still. It was far away from healed, but the little splint was better than having it sway and rock on their every step.

In a second Vanitas snaked his arms under her knees and back before pushing up. Surprised Naminé flailed her arms before she looped them around his neck, pulling closer than what was comfortable, but he didn't slow his steps as he headed back toward the stonewall. With his hands full he needed a safe pathway, one without needing him to climb, so he gave the area another once over in search for a suitable trail.

“W-wait,” Naminé whispered against his chest. As Vanitas looked down he saw a delicate pink across her cheeks, making him arch an eyebrow. “Maybe piggy-back is better...”

“Piggy-_what_?” he returned with a snarl. Did she dare _complain_? After he secured her broken ankle and decided to not dumb her like some piece of trash in the valley?

“Set me down, I'll explain,” Naminé gasped, her face still red as Vanitas set her on a nearby rock. “Okay. Turn around and go down on your knees.”

Still suspicious Vanitas complied, though the situation was more than weird. Only when Naminé snaked her arms around his neck again from behind and leaned heavily against his back he caught on. Instinctively he looped his arms under her legs, just behind the knees.

It wasn't ideal and the increased body-contact was even more bothersome, but they would definitely move faster that way.

“Hold on tight,” Vanitas lowly warned before he let one arm go and used it instead to boost himself up on a flatter rock at the base of a narrow path. He still had to take bigger steps and occasionally stop to figure out the best way, however they finally moved upwards.

“I hope I'm not too heavy?” Naminé asked at some point, breaking the heavy silence as they climbed the stonewall.

Vanitas refused to reply, his mind focusing on the path ahead. As if her weight made any difference; he'd have carried her either way. Though it helped a little, that strange piggy-back thing. Naminé flexed her legs around his waist while her arms kept her upright. It was definitely less tiring than before, although much more irritating.

Right from the start Vanitas had made clear he was not a fan of touching and physical closeness. Once he even smacked Xion across the back of her head when she didn't listen and kept forcing herself on him. Though neither the scientists nor Ansem or the girls ever hurt him so far, Vanitas still had a hard time fighting off the tension when someone suddenly touched him. Too many years every physical contact had resulted in pain to discard the discomfort, his body all too wary about any sort of contact from outside.

Having Naminé so close, her entire front flush against his back, her head so near to his shoulder he heard her breathe, her quick heartbeat so strong he felt it through layers of fabric and skin alike...

Subconsciously Vanitas quickened his steps despite the unsteady terrain. The sensations were too much; he felt like any minute a group of Unversed would spawn around them.

They were half-way up the wall when Naminé spoke again.

“I'm sorry.” Her voice was quiet, but she was so close Vanitas still heard every single word. “We- _I_ never wanted you to feel like we let you down. I should have spoken up sooner.”

His body so hyper-aware, Vanitas noticed how her arms trembled a little as she pulled even closer.

“It's still... hard sometimes. To act on my own.”

Vanitas felt his heart clench inside his chest. “I don't want to hear it,” he bit out, painfully aware of the familiar burn in his stomach. He was still too raw to deal with anything beyond the small wish to make it back to the castle – there was no space left for deep conversations about existence and purpose, although he usually enjoyed those kind of discussions. It didn't happen often, but as former nobodies, both Xion and Naminé sometimes ended up philosophizing about this and that and Vanitas even contributed to the discussion when he felt like it. However those talks still left him tired, mentally exhausted even, and he was too far gone this time to allow such sort of conversation.

Naminé flinched on his back. “Sorry. You're right. I should...”

Finally it seemed like it was enough, that she eventually shut up – but then Naminé added, “Just – next time, take your anger out on _me_. Not on yourself.”

Despite the agitation in his chest and the rough underground, Vanitas barked out a laugh. “You can't bear the amount of anger in me.” Ever so slightly his lips pulled into a sneer, however a hint of sadness remained in the golden eyes as he walked on.

What a painfully naive suggestion. Only a light could come up with such a pointless offer. Didn't Naminé know how far and deep his negativity reached? How pitch black his darkness actually was? He had been almost cool again when she showed up, yet he wrecked her effortlessly. She couldn't pretend to not realize that, and yet she blatantly spoke as if she could withstand Vanitas on the peak of wrath.

Her arms tightened again and Naminé rested her chin on his shoulder. Through the corner of his eye Vanitas saw a few strands of her blond hair fall forward, shining in the last rays of the setting sun.

“I don't care what it takes,” Naminé whispered, voice trembling a little. “I'll get stronger... so I can bear the burden alongside you.”

“Ha!” With one hand Vanitas pulled them up over a higher step, his lips pulled in a twisted grin. “Stop mocking me as if you have any idea what kind of _burden_ I carry.”

“Then tell me about it.” Her head tilted a little, her hair teasing the nape of Vanitas neck.

“Why?” he spat, the pained grin turning into a snarl, “So you can use it against me? Make yourself feel better since you _listened_?!”

Naminé gently shook her head. “So I can be a better friend to you.”

Upon the words Vanitas' breath hitched.

It sounded cruel. So utterly, utterly cruel. To label him, the monster all guardians of light feared, a _friend_. As if anything she did wasn't aiming to just get under his skin, her deviousness making it easier for her to coax out what made him tick. Had Riku given her the order? Asked her to be useful to him that way? What kept her from jumping to his offer, if in return for information she finally got a place where she belonged?

Even if Vanitas opened his mouth and spoke from the bottom of his heart, it would only end up with him being cast aside once they got whatever they wanted. Or maybe even sooner.

The void in his chest grew again, the voices in his head whispering. Rubbing under his nose how pathetic and pitiable he was to yearn for someone who considered him _a friend_.

Suddenly he stopped, the sight before his eyes turning blurry.

“Vanitas?”

In a heartbeat Vanitas fell to his knees, Naminé slipping off his back with a yelp at the jerky movement, and he heaved with a hand clutching his chest. Eyes pressed shut he felt the tar press out between his teeth and out of his body, gathering on the rocky floor before it transformed into a Mandrake.

He heard Naminé gasp loudly, so close to him. Part of Vanitas was curious about her reaction; how did she feel now, after he vomited out an Unversed? With his chin still black and sticky from the tar and breath coming in pained gasps? Bet none of her other _friends_ had such a monstrous trait. Maybe some of the dark goo got on her as well, strained her white clothes, made the scene even more morbid than it was.

Instead he heard a rustle – and while he kept his eyes stubbornly closed Vanitas felt a pair of arms lay around his shoulders and pull, the warmth of another body gently engulfing him. Slender, weak limbs he could easily push away without breaking a sweat. But he felt too sick and tired to do it, the pain throbbing in his chest making even breathing difficult. Hell... Vanitas could barely sit upright, his hands flat on the ground to keep him steady.

“It's okay, it's okay,” Naminé gently hushed. One of her hands found its way to his head, ever so slightly scrapping against his skull and stroking his hair. Never before had someone touched him so... carefully.

The Mandrake gave a screech as it hobbled closer. Probably Vanitas should suck it back in or slay it, however the thought of living through that overwhelming flow of sadness it would bring made his stomach twist. He needed a moment before he could deal with it properly.

Oddly enough, Naminé untangled one of her arms from his body and instead closed it around the Unversed, cradling it against them. The touch reached Vanitas through the link, a weird sensation that made him shiver a little.

Anything between minutes and hours could have passed until Vanitas' ragged breathing finally evened out. In a weak effort to erase the memory of his outburst he wiped his lower arm across his lips, smearing the tar across pale skin rather than clean it away. Drawing in a shuddering breath he sucked the Mandrake up, the sadness flaring in his chest but not to the point he spawned more Unversed. Wordlessly he turned his back to Naminé and she got on it, arms snaked around his neck and legs on his waist as he got up.

The edge of the cliff finally came into view, but their small trail led to a secluded spot on the right of the corridor. A few people were wandering around the area where the Tank Toppler went off, probably investigating, but Vanitas remained quiet as he climbed the last few feet to the edge. They managed to sneak back into the streets of the city unnoticed, the flat ground so much easier to walk on that Naminé hardly bounced anymore as he carried her.

In the far the sun had almost gone completely under, the first few stars already twinkling in the darkened sky. It made it harder to navigate the town, everything looking different because of the missing light.

Naminé remained silent the entire walk, only one of her hands absently stroking the hair on the base of his neck. It took Vanitas' focus off the still much to strong body-contact, so he didn't stop her. It was also a welcomed distraction from what still laid ahead.

Running so late, people were surely already looking for them. And once they were found, Vanitas had a lot of explaining to do – even if they likely couldn't prove the blown up corridor was his fault.

After a while Naminé pointed at one of the streets that eventually led them to the central plaza. From there it was easier to return to the castle... although they had barely made it into the right direction when someone came running towards them.

Of course it had to be _him _who found them first.

Riku called out their names from the distance before he rushed up to them, his face a mix of agitation and worry. “What happened?” he asked right away, already a Cure on his lips that instantly engulfed Naminé. Not a minute later Vanitas crouched down, just enough for her feet to touch the pavement so she could slide off his back, the broken ankle and other wounds only a distant memory now.

“What happened?” Riku repeated, but all Vanitas did was shrug his shoulders and cross his arms, hands grasping his biceps as he looked away. After thorough pondering he concluded silence was still his best option, though he knew how suspicious that made him. Likely it wouldn't make his punishment any lighter either.

A few moments ticked by, then Naminé explained, “We took a larger round this evening and happened to be near the corridor when it blew up. Vanitas managed to protect us with his... powers... but that left him pretty worn out.”

Through the corner of his eyes Vanitas fixed her with a stare, but hid his confusion behind a blank expression.

“Is that so,” Riku commented as he gave them a scrutinizing glance.

“I can give you more details later if you like.” Innocently Naminé crossed her arms behind her back, head cocking just a little. “But I think we could use a shower and fresh clothes first. Right, Vanitas?”

“Whatever,” he mouthed as casual as he could. Vanitas saw the disbelieve in Riku's eyes, noticed how he wanted to know more, but for whatever reason he kept his mouth shut and merely gave them a nod.

“Okay. You two go back to the castle. I'll look for Xion and then come after you.” He fixed Vanitas with a hard stare. “Then I want to hear the entire story – from _both_ of you.”

With a bright smile Naminé gave a nod before she walked off, her blue eyes searching for Vanitas' as she moved. He followed suit, steps long and calm but somehow unusual without the extra weight. As he had said Riku headed off in another direction, leaving them alone on their way back.

Only after a few minutes Naminé spoke up again.

“We shouldn't mention we fought. And since nobody can prove we know how the explosion happened in the first place, we should just say we don't.”

Ever so slightly she dragged her formally injured foot along, still wrapped in the makeshift splint. With a snap of Vanitas' fingers the darkness dissolved into thin air, allowing Naminé to properly walk again.

“Thank you,” she smiled over her shoulder, voice tender and warm. However she quickly fell back to the previous topic. “Okay. So, officially we were running through the corridor when a strange noise came up and some explosion went off. What happened afterwards shouldn't really get us into trouble, so we can stick to the truth there.”

Vanitas slowed his steps and eventually stopped completely. Naminé only realized it after a while, her eyes darting back over her shoulder with a confused gleam in them.

“Why are you doing this?” Vanitas asked with a calm voice. To be honest, he _was_ calm overall – however he couldn't help being puzzled about the way Naminé acted.

“What do you mean?” She turned around, facing him, while her hands laid together in front of her body.

Vanitas tilted his head back, motioning down the street. “Lying to Riku. Making up some story.” _Protecting me_.

Ever so slightly he approached her, just enough so they could talk without being overheard. Vanitas might be confused, however he wasn't stupid enough to not take advantage of the situation when it benefited him. It didn't mean he wanted people overhear their conversation though.

Apparently Naminé felt the same way since her voice turned considerably lower. “I wouldn't say the story is completely made up. Just a little... modified.” She tried to turn her smile wicked, but it never reached her eyes. They clearly showed her inner conflict, even if one had to look really closely to spot it.

“A pretty way to phrase it. Though that doesn't explain _why_ you do it,” Vanitas returned, dry as the desert.

For a moment she looked away, avoiding his gaze. “Our fight is something between you and me only. I'm still angry you broke your promise, but I also understand how you must have felt when Xion and I sort of excluded you...” Her closed hands rose up to rest against her chest. “And you _did_ safe me when the Unversed exploded. You told me to leave and when I didn't you shielded me. Once we ended in the valley, you were so wounded you didn't even react anymore... and yet afterwards you carried me all the way back instead of leaving me behind.”

Eventually she looked up, the uneasiness in her eyes replaced by strong determination and respect. “It's not fair to punish you. Not after you amended your wrongs already.”

Unable to hold it back Vanitas gave a chuckle while his lips pulled into a somewhat sad smile. “Who says I did all that to amend my wrongs?” he asked, eyes half closed as his heart throbbed with a weird mixture of emotions. It was such an amount he couldn't even tell if they were dark, light, or neutral.

Naminé merely flashed him a smile – a true, joyful one. “I do.”

With that she leaned away and turned, humming softly as she walked off toward the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Not much happens in this chap, but I really enjoyed writing it.   
Vanitas and Naminé got some quality time together and our angry boy got a hug~   
This scene has been planned and written for more than 3 weeks I think? So I'm glad I could deliver to some reader requests : D   
Even if it's an accident. Or maybe it was fate? 
> 
> I think that, since Naminé is Kairi's Nobody, she has actually a hard time acting out on her darker emotions.   
It doesn't mean she can't lie and deceive - see CoM - but I think she'd always be plagued by her conscience when she does. 
> 
> This chap ended up a little shorter. Otherwise the scenecut would have been rather nya. 
> 
> Have a great week and regards,  
-T


	10. Calm Before the Storm

As Riku announced, he waited for Vanitas and Naminé just as they headed back to their rooms after a quick shower. The three of them ended up talking in the masters' room, with Mickey present as they spoke. Some facts didn't exactly add up, but Vanitas balanced it out by explicitly explaining how he summoned the darkness to shield them from the blast. Officially he coughed up an Unversed out of shier exhaustion and the realization about how they had very nearly died when they fell. Naminé backed him up on everything and made a point mentioning how he used the darkness for a makeshift-splint for her broken ankle.

In the end Mickey and Riku accepted their story, however insisted they should stay within Radiant Garden for further runs. The reason for the explosion was still unclear and the staff from the castle was investigating the matter further, but couldn't fuarantee it wouldn't happen again. Vanitas could also tell Riku somewhat suspected the Unversed being involved in a way, but just as Naminé said before, there was little he could do without a solid proof.

Still Vanitas made an inner note to keep things cool for a while. He had the feeling a certain pair of teal eyes would observe him a bit closer in the near future.

The night itself ended short for Vanitas; although he was tired and looked forward to some rest, nightmares of Master Xehanort's tortures tore him out of sleep after only a few hours. At least he didn't awake with a scream like most other times. However he was too raw to simply fall back to sleep, especially after the events with Naminé earlier that day.

And so Vanitas wandered through the castle to Ansem's office. The lock did little to hold him back once he summoned Void Gear and he made himself comfortable on the plush sofa in the study, next to a lamp and with a book in his hands. The thick lexicon laid on the floor, just within reach. Most of the reports were still awfully dry and difficult, but the more Vanitas read the easier it became.

Lately he got his hands on a lecture about emotional intelligence. Ansem had given him the book as a direct response to his psychological examination – while he knew negative emotions remotely well, Vanitas had quite some trouble with everything else. And once he started skimming through the book he was genuinely surprised to learn about the shier _variety_ of feelings and emotions people were capable of. Even nuances he experienced himself suddenly got a name, his dark world with clear lines fanning out like branches of a tree, all the way from thick and solid to so minute they were barely noticeable, all the way from ebony until light gray.

Before long the sun rose in the horizon without him even noticing; since he spent his restless nights reading, he had yet to see dawn. Often Vanitas got so engrossed in his reading everything else faded away, his simple world turning more interesting with every new word.

However lately a certain little _imp_ took advantage of his distraction.

He was just in the middle of a paragraph when the book suddenly disappeared from his hands, slipped out from his comfortable grasp. A growl in his throat Vanitas leaped off the sofa and pursued the thief, but she had learned a few tricks over time; several chairs and tables laid in the way as he followed her, bright giggles cutting through the silence of the room.

But Vanitas knew a move or two, too.

Just as they stood at a table, one on either side, he willed some darkness to creep underneath it and wrap tightly around an unguarded ankle. Then, as he jumped over the table to cross the distance, she stumbled and fell with a squeak face fist on the hard floor.

In the matter of seconds Vanitas flopped on top of her, ignoring shouts and cries alike as he made himself as heavy as he could. Lazily he snatched the book back, adjusted his body so he floundered completely on top of the failed thief, and calmly resumed his reading.

“Van-Vaaaaan!” Xion complained and wiggled underneath him, “You're too heavy! Get off me!”

Expression blank Vanitas merely turned over to the next page. “Not my problem,” he curtly retorted, which had Xion give another weak attempt to free herself. However soon she stopped, arms and legs relaxing on the floor while he kept reading. They had been in that situation before – they both knew for a fact Xion wasn't going to get crushed, even when Vanitas rested his entire weight on her.

Once he read half a page Vanitas stated, “Tonight we go running a longer round. And come next week we resume with actual training.”

“'kay,” Xion replied as she crossed her arms under her chin. “By the way, I gave Rox and Axel a piece of my mind yesterday. They behaved like assholes to you.”

Looking up from his book Vanitas arched an eyebrow at her. “Now that's new. Where did you pick up that sort of language?” Eventually he rolled off Xion, but stayed on his back on the floor as he pushed up on his lower arms. The book was still in one of his hands, the page marked with his finger between the sheets.

As she got up Xion gave a shrug. “I heard some kids use it near the plaza.”

“Just don't say it in front of the masters.” Slowly Vanitas lowered back down and opened the book above his head. “They'll just assume I taught you the word.”

“Because you're darkness?”

He spared her a smirk, but his eyes remained on the page. “Something like that.”

Suddenly the mood on the room shifted – and with a rustle Xion sat on the floor next to him, legs bend and knees pulled up against her chest. Her face was dark and gloomy, blue eyes narrowed just a little, and her small body was tensed in a way Vanitas had never seen on her before. It all picked his interest so much he sat up, the book forgotten in his lap as he studied her.

“Axel said you're dangerous and I should stay away since you're a being of darkness,” she whispered, her fingers clenching around her knees so hard her knuckles turned white.

Vanitas looked at her for a long moment. “And he's more than right about it, doll,” he responded with a calm voice, using the softer nickname he picked for her.

He had known such a talk would eventually come; the lights had a deep fear for the darkness and anything that was somewhat connected to Master Xehanort. Having Vanitas in their rows was a huge risk and while some regarded it with a more rational mind, others were ruled by their anxiety and worry. Being so close to Xion and as part of the guardians of light, it was only natural they worried for her safety.

When he thought about it, Vanitas would have second thoughts being left with _himself_, too.

Xion gritted her teeth – he could see it when she pulled her lips into a snarl. “Riku and Terra have a lot of darkness in their hearts, too. So have I. But nobody says _we're_ dangerous.”

“That's not really something that can be compared, doll.” Vanitas gave a sigh and crossed his legs underneath himself as he noticed the nickname did nothing to rise Xion's sour mood. “It's one thing having a heart and falling to darkness. I'm _pure_ darkness extracted _from_ a heart. Plus, I have yet to see you lights spawning minions out of your own body. The differences are obvious.”

“But we're siblings,” Xion argued, stubborn and naive as ever. “And you teach me be a stronger Keyblade wielder. And yesterday you helped Naminé, too.”

“After I pretty much tried to kill her,” Vanitas added with a sneer.

“That's not the point!” She stamped her feet, her eyes suddenly wet and sparkling. “Everyone makes mistakes! As long as you do the right thing in the end, all's good.” The first tears ran down Xion's cheeks as she fought back a sob. “It's so... unfair. To blame you for what you are, like you chose to be torn apart and serve Xehanort. If they're gonna be like that, they can be angry with me for having a replica-body or something, too.”

Xion had worked herself up so much she was openly crying by then, fat tears streaming down her face while she hiccuped and sobbed. It was much more intense than weeks ago in the park – her entire frame shook and she sounded so pained, as if every little cry was clawing directly from her soul. Every once in a while she chocked out a few words, 'unfair', 'not your fault', and 'why you'.

Usually Vanitas would have simply absorbed the emotions to bring an end to her crying, but he felt still too raw with his own issues to shoulder more emotional pain. Xion's sadness triggered his own, Unversed pulling at the corners of his being with the need to stream out. He had both hands full just holding them back.

After a while of heart-aching sobbing, Vanitas eventually moved.

Slowly, cautiously, he pushed closer to Xion and stretched out his arms. A twitch worked Vanitas' body when they first touched, but still he wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders and pushed close, much like Naminé did to him the previous evening.

He jerked when Xion instantly pressed against him, her face pushed into the crook of his neck while her hands fisted in the material of his shirt. After a moment of startled stillness Vanitas brought one of his hands up and buried it in her dark hair, gently petting her while his shirt turned damp with tears.

The crying intensified at first, but after a couple of minutes Xion finally started to relax. The tremor of her body subsided and her voice turned more quiet, nibble fingers uncurling from the shirt. Once in a while she sighed against Vanitas' chest, her hands snaking around his torso to return the gesture while they sat on the floor of the study.

Eventually Xion pulled away, her hand coming up to wipe her wet cheeks and she sniffled with a smile. “Thanks for cheering me up.”

Vanitas didn't even bother with an answer, only untangled himself from Xion. Carefully he went over the sensations he experienced from the gesture, noticed how his heart had made a jump when she hugged him back. This was all so new and hard to grasp... The only way he knew how to handle his emotions was through throbbing pain and waiting until he got used to the sting. But what Naminé did with him and what he in return did with Xion – that was something different. Something new. Something that... hurt so much less.

They brought a bit of distance between themselves, but remained sitting on the floor. Absently Vanitas rubbed a hand over his shirt; the cloth was damp with tears, sticking on his skin uncomfortably.

Through the corner of his eyes he noticed Xion shifting; both her hands came up and her head had turned, blue eyes trained on Vanitas with a strange, unsettling gleam in them.

“Don't worry Van-Van – I got this.” Broad grin over her lips Xion brought her hands together and murmured low to herself.

Horrified Vanitas realized what she was planing, but before he could as much as open his mouth her Aero-spell whirled him across the room to the opposite wall. Books and sheets of paper flew all around, the air having nowhere to go and hence riding out its energy in the study and Ansem's office.

Once the breeze got weaker Vanitas slumped down the wall, head lolled between his shoulders. Slowly the snips of paper – the Aero had shredded some sheets completely – rained down onto the floor while the books came down with a crash. One even landed square on Vanitas' lowered head.

“Whoops,” Xion whispered, her hands still lifted as she gave a nervous laugh.

A second later a Scrapper manifested next to Vanitas, uttering a high pitched screech, and he slowly rose his head again. “You _little pest_,” he growled with a mad grin curled over his lips and murder in his eyes.

With a squeak Xion jumped up and bolted from the study, the Unversed hot on her heels. Vanitas followed right behind, hair a complete mess but with a dry shirt. Once in a while he laughed manically down the corridor, eyes trained on Xion while the Scrapper launched at her, but it lacked the bite of a true attack. By now he was used to some shenanigans when it came to her – Vanitas had no intention to actually _hurt_ her. Just maybe wrestle her down and rub her temples with his knuckles a bit. A friendly little physical act of siblinghood he was _excited_ to express.

They dashed through the halls, took turns and sometimes stairs, and eventually Xion slipped into a dead end. On her way back the Scrapper pounced on her, both crashing into the floor, and so Vanitas calmly sauntered over to the heap of limbs and bodies.

The moment his shadow fell over them, Xion stopped struggling – and instead blinked up at him with a nervous laugh. “I-I learned my lesson,” she said with a whimper, “No need to punish me... you know...”

Vanitas chuckled ever so lowly, his voice deep and malicious, as he crouched down to be at eye-level with her. “I read that big brothers are supposed to teach their siblings. Now, _not_ punishing you... That would be reckless of me, no?”

Laughing like a monster he snaked his arm around Xion's neck, pulling her so close she was trapped between his axle and torso. She struggled with a squeal, still Vanitas closed his other hand into a fist and ground his knuckles against one of her temples, just painful enough to hurt but without actually causing damage.

Effortlessly Vanitas pushed up, dragging Xion along, and kept his grinding up as they walked back down where they came from. With every step her complains and cries increased, but he remained hard even as the Scrapper looked up at him pitiably. It wasn't until they reached the stairs that Vanitas stopped – very reluctantly.

He kept Xion secured under his arm though.

“Please let her go,” Ansem requested with a heavy sigh. He was dressed and refreshed, undoubtedly from a peaceful night, but his forehead carried more wrinkles than usual. “I already received complains about the noise, too...”

Vanitas merely glanced down at Xion's reddening face. “If you knew what she did, you'd agree this punishment is more than deserved.”

This time Ansem actually lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do I want to know right away or rather see it for myself?”

As Vanitas gave a nonchalant shrug Xion chimed, “It was an accident! Really! I just wanted to dry Van-Van's shirt...”

The sigh Ansem released was even heavier than the previous; even his face looked like it had all of a sudden aged several years. Vanitas could almost see the wheels turning inside his head, counting one and one together. As little as he respected other people and their abilities, there was no denying the immense intellect Ansem possessed. He would come to a solid conclusion without the shadow of a doubt.

“Vanitas,” he began with a strained yet somewhat understanding voice, “When I said our research material was at your disposal... I did not mean you can break into my office and the study whenever you please.”

“I guarantee the locks are perfectly intact.” His voice dripped with scorn as Vanitas spoke, a chuckle ringing along once he released Xion from his grip and sucked the Scrapper back in. While Ansem appeared collected and unfazed most of the time, Vanitas could tell he was still a bit unsure around the Unversed. With the events of the previous evening he wanted to avoid further hassles, or at least was determined to _try_.

“I believe Even told you about the Keyblade-ban inside the castle,” Ansem curtly returned, his hand finally dropping again. “Anyway. Let's go up and fix the study before the start of the lesson.” He waved toward the stairs, Xion instantly stepping ahead while Vanitas followed with a roll of his eyes. For a moment he thought about proposing that Xion should do the fixing completely on her own – after all, she had been causing it in the first place – but before he could open his mouth to speak Ansem suddenly talked to him.

“This afternoon you're free from class. I was told you... wore yourself out yesterday.” His copper eyes were sharp as they locked with Vanitas'. Something about Ansem's gaze told him he had a pretty close idea he was, indeed, somehow involved in the explosion in the corridor. “Ienzo will do some scans to make sure you're healthy and alright. And if you feel,” he paused a moment, then added, “Pent up, please seek me out next time.”

Vanitas pretended he never heard the last words as he strolled up the stairs.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

One week later, everything was back the way it was.

The masters kept their distance, the scientists figured the tests ran smoothly, and Vanitas found his state of mind relatively stable for the time being. So, just as he had originally planned, they moved their training back to the small ground beneath the castle.

At first Xion and Naminé moved pretty clumsily. Their stances were still bad, but at least the stamina had overall improved a little. And so Vanitas thought up a new little routine for them:

Physical exercises.

“Come on, one more,” Vanitas huffed as he bend his arms, bringing himself so close to the ground he nearly touched it before pushing back up. “And you up there, stop squirming so much! I can tell you are completely out of balance!”

In front of his face Xion tried to make another push-up, her arms shaking and cheeks red from exhaustion. On his back Naminé desperately tried to find her balance as she stood on one foot, but since Vanitas kept moving underneath her she tilted considerably.

The methods were perhaps a bit unorthodox – however there was only so much Vanitas knew about training people in the first place. Perhaps raw force was not entirely suitable for small Xion and he had little to no clue about the style of casters like Naminé, but he got to do what he got to do.

“Ugh, I need a break...!” Xion gasped as she held herself up, sweat dripping from her forehead into the dust.

“Give me five more and I'll consider it,” Vanitas bit back as he lowered himself again. He, too, was starting to feel the exhaustion; though petite Naminé was quite the extra weight. Once he wasn't too nervous about physical contact he noticed the pounds all too well, though that way the push-ups actually benefited him again. With his own weight alone Vanitas could do them for hours on end.

Xion managed to make four more before she collapsed face first into the ground. Still Vanitas showed mercy and motioned Naminé to walk off his back before he rose himself. Silently he marched over to his stock and rummaged through the items until he found two bottles of water.

Without even approaching he tossed them toward the girls, though he was fair enough to give them a warning shout first.

Xion didn't even bother to move – hence the bottle landed square on her back – and Naminé flailed her arms as she tried to grab it, but somehow managed to catch it without hitting the ground.

Not bad. They were progressing.

“After the break it's battle training,” Vanitas announced as he leaned against the rocky wall. He didn't expect a thorough quarrel; a nice little sparring match to get worn out enough to get a good night's sleep for a change. Maybe, when his body was too tired to even feel, the nightmares would leave him alone.

From the distance he watched Naminé drown the water greedily, the plastic bottle deforming a little through her large swallows. Xion had turned onto her back in the meantime, eyes closed as she relaxed for a moment. Through the open space Vanitas saw the colors of the sky had changed, heralding sunset. Soon they would need to head back into the castle so their leave wasn't too suspiciously long.

“Alright, that's enough.” He pushed off the rock with a jerk of his hips and stretched his arms. The joints in his shoulders popped softly at the motion. “We'll focus on physical battle. Naminé, you'll concentrate on sidestepping and not get in the way.”

“Okay!” Obediently Naminé summoned her wand, quickly followed by Xion and her Keyblade.

Vanitas easily materialized Void Gear into his hand. “Try to get used to your new battle stance, Xion. Adjust it if the need arises.”

“Roger that,” Xion returned with an excited grin on her lips.

A heartbeat later Vanitas already closed in and soon the clank of Keyblades and traces of magic filled the air.

They repeated the exercises for the next few days. As it turned out, Xion was quite the fast learner when it came to physical things. By the second training she had completely accustomed to her new battle stance and Vanitas could get a little rougher. Naminé was left practicing her balance – namely by jumping on top of different Jellyshades – and sometimes cast out a spell during battle. The build up was slow at best, but eventually the girls would become decent fighters. Maybe even strong enough to be an actual _threat_ to Vanitas.

Currently he was engaged in a battle with Xion, their Keyblades locked in the middle of the ground. Vanitas held Void Gear in one arm as he pushed down, making her bend under his weight. With her small frame, it was more than likely most of her enemies would be much bigger and heavier than her. Getting used to handle weight was crucial if he wanted her to become a stronger opponent.

Teeth gritted Xion held her stance, but the sweat running down her temples were proof of her exhaustion. While Vanitas wasn't exactly bulky either, he still had damn strong muscles. Enough to push her around at least.

“Getting tired?” Vanitas taunted with a grin as he pushed down a little harder, actually driving a gasp from Xion. Her legs were shaking, but the new pose aided her a great lot as she pressed back.

Then Vanitas saw something move in the corner of his eye – something dark, like a twitchy shadow.

“Look out!” Naminé suddenly shouted, nearly falling off a Jellyshade in the process.

Instantly loosening the pressure Vanitas leaned back, gold eyes flicking over the training ground. Little shadows roamed around, kind of like his Floods but then again not. They hissed a bit as they moved, yellow eyes staring back from expressionless faces.

“Heartless?! _Here_?!” Xion exclaimed incredulously. Swiftly she sidestepped and slew down two of the small things. Out of instinct Vanitas joined her in the fight, taking down more of the shadowy creatures, his mind focused and sharp as he observed the creatures.

When he thought about it, he never actually fought Heartless before.

They were easy to take out, but soon the Heartless grew in size; their nibble bodies turned humanoid, the backwards antennas much longer as they vigorously attacked. More and more kept coming, crawling up the wall on the side of the training ground. It was like an endless flow of them – at some point there were so many, Vanitas felt how they actually nicked his clothes and a nasty slash hit him right across the right shank when he launched forward.

“What the hell attracts them?!” he growled, back to back with Xion. At the side he watched Naminé fire off a round of spells as she clung to the a Jellyshade, using the higher position to her advantage. Some were already gone, taken out by their black enemies.

With a cry Xion slashed two Heartless with a single blow. “They probably want to get to the city! But they are drawn to the Keyblades!” Shouting she took out another pair before a claw dug into her side, slicing right through her flesh.

Suddenly many of the smallest shadows pulled back and gathered – and next thing he knew, Vanitas watched as a whole lot of them shoot right toward them.

Growling he clenched Void Gear in one hand, ready to deflect the massive tide. However once they came into contact Vanitas was pushed back, his heels digging deep into the ground while he fought against the powerful flow.

Some of the Heartless took their opportunity and clawed at him, black, razor sharp talons ripping his back and shoulders open. He felt the blood soak through the rags his clothing had become, but bit the inside of his cheek and held his stance. Usually he would have phased out and got into a better position, but thanks to the damn bracelets he found himself stuck instead.

Quickly Xion closed in and chopped them down, however there was little Vanitas could do against the ache when the tide pushed heavier against him.

A split second before his arms gave in a Protect closed around them both as the tide swiped them right off their feet. They hit the ground hard several yards away, Xion even losing the grip on her Keyblade as she gasped in pain.

Moments later Naminé was launched through the air as well. Vanitas barely managed to grab her arm as she flew by and dragged her down to where they were standing.

Before them the Heartless gathered with scrapping noises, countless pairs of yellow eyes locking onto them.

“Fuck,” Vanitas cursed under his breath. They weren't particularly strong beside the huge tide, but their large number made even the small fries dangerous. And although he had at least taken out good thirty of the Heartless they kept coming, as if they were in the realm of darkness itself.

“So many,” Xion whispered as she knelt on the ground, Naminé healing both her and Vanitas' wounds with Cures.

“How do you stop them?” Vanitas asked, his eyes narrowed at the masses of blackness before them. Quickly he threw out a bunch of black Firas, the flames hopefully keeping the Heartless away for a few seconds.

Healed up Xion rose from the ground, expression grim. “Usually you take them out with the Keyblade and that's that. But... there's no end to them somehow.”

Shit. Was there a source of them nearby or something? How many waves of them were left?

Clicking his tongue Vanitas pulled his lips into a snarl, his muscles tensing. “Then we got to keep fighting.”

The Heartless broke through the wall of fire on one side. Instantly Vanitas rushed to the spot, a battle roar erupting from his lungs as he slashed through the masses like a maniac. Slowly he was getting into a true frenzy, the lack of pain whenever he slew a shadow only motivating him more.

In his back he heard Xion and Naminé fight as well, backing each other up. When the tide launched itself at them Vanitas swiped right in, delivering blow after blow as he fought it back. Eventually it fell apart, back to countless little shadows, and he swung Void Gear viciously at whichever part he got to. However then the shadows gathered, crawling across his body as they swarmed around him like a dark cocoon, scratching his skin and pressing the air out of his lungs before the tide threw him off into the distance.

Once he was out of the way, the tide closed in on the girls again. A heartbeat later their muffled cries cut through the noises of the battle, their bodies disappearing inside the black tide completely.

“Damn it!” Shouting Vanitas pushed off the ground and rushed toward the tide, ready to claw his way through. When other Heartless blocked his way two Buckle Bruisers manifested by his sides, instantly throwing themselves into battle and clearing his way.

Unstopped Vanitas charged right into the tide, the dark miasma around his body briefly securing him as he chopped through the small shadows. He sensed Xion just well inside the mass and once he caught a glimpse of Naminé's bright clothing he tossed Void Gear away, using both hands to dig through the Heartless. Once he grabbed a hold he hauled them out, his legs protesting under the amount of force he had to use to spring away with their added weight.

They had merely a few heartbeats before the Heartless would close in again; Vanitas felt how his Bruisers were taken apart, his body trembling under the unusual sensation and pain. Yet he rose a wall of dark Fira before them, buying a more valuable seconds of time.

“What do we do...?”

Naminé's voice sounded broken as she whispered, her blue eyes wide as she stared at the masses of Heartless behind the flames. Next to her Xion looked just as hopeless, her body heaving at her heavy breathing. Vanitas felt cold fear growing in their hearts, a terror that threatened to petrify them.

They feared for their very lives, so strongly it was clouding their minds. Like that they couldn't even flee.

Gritting his teeth Vanitas completely straightened, willing darkness to wrap around his body in a tight combat suit. In a flash he absorbed their angst, instantly manifesting them into a pair of Hareraisers to escape the emotions himself.

He, too, was afraid of dying. Terrified when he thought about his possible end. But that fear would get him nowhere in the face of danger.

“You go to the castle,” he ordered, voice cold and controlled as he focused on the battle ahead.

“You can't take them on your own!”

Freed from her fear Xion swiped back to his side, Keyblade in hands.

“I won't leave either,” Naminé stated, her previous hopelessness vanished along with the terror. “We stand together – to the end!”

“Idiots,” Vanitas murmured as he summoned Void Gear back into his hand. “A moment ago you were too despaired to even _move_.” He gasped when one of his Buckle Bruisers fell and came back to him, flaring his anger along with the pain. “I don't have the time to babysit you weaklings!”

“Then use us instead.”

Mildly surprised Vanitas looked back over his shoulder – right at a pair of determined faces.

“You know what we are capable of,” Naminé reasoned, her voice hard and steady and perhaps braver than she ever sounded before. “Tell us what to do,” suddenly her hand began to glow in white, the light increasing until suddenly _a Keyblade_ manifested in her palm, “And we'll follow your command.” 

Next to her Xion made a surprised face before she pulled her lips into a confident grin. “That's right. What's the plan, Van-Van?”

For a moment Vanitas darted his eyes between them, baffled speechless. Part of him wanted them to just go, but when he thought about it he knew he couldn't take out the Heartless on his complete own. Sure, he would put up one hell of a fight, however after training and not at full strength? In the end he was certain the Heartless would just swallow him up. Vanitas would never admit it out loud – but he needed every bit of support he could get to make it out alive.

To know he wasn't alone somewhat made it easier to push away the fears, too.

Whipping his head back around Vanitas regarded the training ground. Having two more fighters changed the situation gravely; he had to think of a completely new strategy.

“First we fall back toward the trail,” he decided, speaking loud enough for both of them to hear as he already stepped backwards. Even if the Heartless heard them, he doubted they could make sense of their words anyway. His Unversed failed on that aspect, too.

“Okay!” the girls replied in union.

“Naminé, take place up the trail. You can fire off magic easier from up there.” Eyes trained on the Heartless Vanitas watched as his second Buckle Bruiser was taken out as well, the returning wrath only boosting his hunger for a fight. “Xion, we will chop down everything in our way.”

After a moment of consideration Vanitas waved his hand, willing darkness to gather around Xion's body and giving her a similar bodysuit as his. It wouldn't make her necessarily stronger, but at least it would hold back the sharp claws better than normal clothes.

“The goal is pretty simple.” Lips pulled back on a snarl that was all teeth, Vanitas got in his battle stance. “Survive!”

And then the Heartless charged through the flames toward them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Yes, Vanitas is the kind of bro who would flounder on top of his siblings v.v   
I'm the older one, too. It only works until the kids are bigger, so you gotta use your advantages.   
Also, yes, Vanitas doesn't really get how comforting works... but he tries! 
> 
> Sorry for ending it at yet another cliffhanger.   
It was hard to cut the chap this time, however I hope it was enjoyable still?   
Of course the Heartless are the same as in Canon - but Vanitas never fought any before, so he has no clue about their names.   
Basically it's a bunch of regular Shadows, Neoshadows, and the Demon Tower/Tide. 
> 
> Will they make it out alive?   
Or will the next chap be the last ;D? 
> 
> A last short notice:  
Updates will take considerably longer now - since I start working again in November! Yay!   
I'll try to get as much written in the meantime as I can, but I'll take some time updating so I can avoid bigger breaks. 
> 
> Regards and have a great week,  
-T


	11. Odd Developments

The new spot was easier to defend; with their backs toward the trail and Naminé covering them up with offensive and supportive magic alike, Vanitas and Xion could focus better on the enemies up front. The flow of Heartless was just as strong as at the beginning, more crawling up from the valley underneath the longer the fight went.

The large tide was still the biggest problem. Every once in a while it closed in on them, lashing out with its long arm while Naminé and Vanitas deflected it with magic. However they could do that only for so long; eventually their reserves would run out. The Keyblade boosted Naminé's abilities a little, but it was still just a question of time before they exhausted.

“We have to take the tide out!” Vanitas barked as he took out some of the smaller Heartless. Gathering his frustration and anger he spawned a couple of Unversed, mostly Bruisers of different kinds, before he shouted out more orders.

“Naminé, use Stop and Blizzard on the thing! Xion, we charge in and attack it from below! Ignore the small ones and don't fuck up!”

Somewhere in the corner of his mind, Vanitas wondered why neither of them objected his plan. It was risky to have such powerful magic swirl around when they were close-by; one wrong move from Naminé or a slip up from Xion or himself and they were caught right in the middle of the crossfire.

Were they silent because they knew it was their only chance... or because they trusted in Vanitas' judgment in battle?

Vanitas decided he could ponder about it later.

They quickly approached the tide, delivering blows at its base while the top froze over with a layer of ice before stilling completely. It was odd, fighting so close to Xion, but Vanitas quickly noticed she had no difficulties adapting to his movements so he went all out. All the side-by-side battling of the lights proved itself useful for a change.

The tide swung down at them as the Stopga wore off, however Vanitas saw it in the very last moment and parried the blow with Void Gear. His muscles protested under the pressure and he shuddered in pain as some of the Bruisers were defeated around them. But they were close – he could _feel_ it.

“Almost there,” he grunted under his breath, fighting the fatigue as he pushed against the tide. Through the corner of his eye he saw Xion tensing her body – and then he gave one last shove and threw the tide back. Instantly she slashed the mass of Heartless with her Keyblade, throwing it further back enough for Vanitas to charge forward with a horizontal slice right through its middle. Just as he regained his balance behind it he felt the unmistakable chill of ice magic on his back, turning the tide to a solid block before it crumbled apart.

That was it. The tide-Heartless was finally defeated.

But the smaller ones still scattered around.

Panting hard Vanitas took a look around. The area was still swarmed with blackness, countless Heartless attacking his Unversed.

Another Bruiser fell and the pain forced Vanitas down on one knee, hand clutched over his chest. Though they won against the largest Heartless, the battle was still all but in their favor.

He was tired. Xion could barely keep herself on her feet. In the distance, Naminé started clumsily swinging her Keyblade at the shadows, her magic exhausted.

Was this the end? Despite trying so hard, wanting to change, making something like bonds – would Vanitas return to darkness without having accomplished anything?

Without revenge.

Without filling the voids.

Without coming to term with what he had become.

Legs trembling he rose again, fingers clutched around Void Gear as he grabbed it with both hands. Even if he was about to face his end... He was going to fall while fighting.

Roaring Vanitas charged at the closest group of Heartless, his Keyblade chopping them down easily though his arms burned with exhaustion. The corner of his vision was starting to darken and he felt sick, yet he swung and swung and _swung_ at his enemies, pushing his body to its very limit like so often before. Vanitas' ears rang with his heartbeat and ragged breathing, the first signs he was about to faint, his knees bucked and trembled...

… Then suddenly a light engulfed him out of nowhere – and in a flash Vanitas felt the exhaustion fall from his every limb, his entire being better refreshed than a potion ever could. Even his magic had restored and instantly he fired off a row of dark Firas, incinerating good a dozen Heartless in a single attack.

Next thing he knew Vanitas felt a back push against his, broad and strong. “Sorry we didn't make it sooner,” its owner whispered, “But I see you held your stance just well.”

“I'm not one to count on help from _lights_,” Vanitas chuckled, though he couldn't deny the small spark of relief working through his body. It had been so close that, if he hadn't such a good reaction, the next attack from a Heartless would have hit him at full force. But as things were he charged forward instead, easily cutting through masses of Heartless like they were mere insects beneath his boots.

In the matter of minutes the area was finally cleared, momentarily freed from the beings of darkness.

Sighing Vanitas allowed his body to relax, Void Gear easily resting on his shoulder as he wiped some sweat from his brow. Slowly the thrill from battle was subsiding along with the fear for death. With his mind briefly cleared, he found the focus to check on the girls.

They were further back, near the trail in fact, but were approaching quickly. “We did it!” Xion cheered as she ran, a grin almost splitting her face in two. Naminé was right at her heels, face a bit more tired and worn than hers but just as cheerful and relieved.

Suddenly a hand landed on Vanitas' free shoulder, squeezing just a little. “More Heartless might appear. Can you hold this position while Mickey and I check where they spawn?”

Nonchalantly Vanitas tilted his head toward Riku, his expression bored at best. Instead of answering he turned Void Gear around – and shot a row of black lightning at a spot right behind Riku, taking down two new Heartless without batting an eye.

Glancing back Riku uttered a chuckle. “Yeah. Stupid of me to ask.” He let go and headed for the edge of the cliff. Mickey hopped onto his side in a flash, but took the time to wave back at them.

“We'll cut off the flow of Heartless. See ya in a bit!” He offered them a broad smile before he jumped down into the valley, closely followed by Riku.

The moment they were gone a new wave of Heartless crawled up the wall, their forms twitching as they spread on the training ground.

As Vanitas stood with Void Gear again across his shoulders he sensed the girls take each a spot on his sides. They Keyblades caught some of the sunrays and flashed in the corners of his vision.

“Ready for round two?” Vanitas asked with a confident smirk. Now that he was refreshed and back on his peak, he might as well enjoy himself.

Next to him Xion twirled her Keyblade playfully. “You bet! I didn't run all that time for nothing!”

“Mickey left me some elixirs before he left. Just call if you need one,” Naminé added as she readied herself.

“Alright.” Giving a quick nod Vanitas tensed his muscles, a sinister grin laying on his lips as he got in his battle stance. “Let's go have some fun!”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a while to clear away the Heartless, but it went a lot smoother than before. Vanitas had no need to summon more Unversed for the fight and, strangely enough, it was easy to fall into a rhythm with Xion and Naminé. Once in a while he gave out commands, like 'spell here' and 'focus there', but overall they fought so naturally it felt like they had been doing it for ages already.

Slowly Vanitas saw the charm of teaming up.

He'd still prefer doing his own thing though. While it wasn't exactly tiring, keeping his eye out for the others were unnecessary tasks which might cost him his head in a particularly heated battle. By the end of the day it was still easier to focus on one person alone rather than a group.

Eventually the last Heartless dissolved into black clouds and Vanitas spotted Riku and Mickey at the edge of the cliff. They looked tired, but not to the point it turned into exhaustion. Probably they fought their way back once they cut off the flow.

Silently they gathered in the middle of the training ground, just where Vanitas was standing. Nonchalantly he tilted his head back, Void Gear once again resting on his shoulder as he regarded the area. Once his eyes fell on Xion he clicked the fingers of his free hand and her bodysuit vanished into thin air, revealing soaked clothes. She sighed so loudly in relief he had to press back a chuckle.

It could get _pretty_ warm and tight underneath the suit. Her entire skin glistened with sweat and she nearly moaned once a breeze came up, strong enough to whirl up a bit of dust as well.

“Since when do you use a Keyblade?” Riku asked, breaking the calming silence that always followed a won battle.

Once arrived Naminé cocked her head as she regarded the Keyblade – a long, blue piece that somehow rang Vanitas' memory. “I never did before today. It just... appeared in my hand.” Ever so slightly she turned the blade, the sun reflecting on its blue metal as the star-shaped keychain chimed at the motion.

Confused Vanitas furrowed his eyebrows at the form. “Isn't that...?” he murmured to himself as he eyed the pendant. Ventus owned something that looked oddly alike that, his being green where the one on Naminé's Keyblade was blue.

Riku spoke up the exact moment he caught on.

“You probably deeply wanted to protect your friends. I'm not surprised one of Aqua's Keyblades would respond to your call.” He uttered a chuckle before he added, “I was actually wondering _when_ you'd end up with a Keyblade rather than if. But Kairi used to be a late bloomer, too.”

“What... do I do with it now?” Naminé asked, Keyblade still in her hand.

“Send it back,” Vanitas supplied with a bit of annoyance. Sometimes her ignorance still riled him up. Former Nobody or not – there were _some_ things one should know after being with the lights all the time.

When she blinked at him, clearly clueless, Vanitas rolled his eyes and tapped his temple with the fingers of his free hand. Releasing a soft noise Naminé closed her eyes and, surprising enough, the Keyblade dissolved into a cloud of white sparks after a moment.

“You'll have to practice so it comes when you summon it,” Riku said with a smile. Naminé gave him a nod before she walked over to Mickey, returning the items he left with her earlier.

Apparently that was a needed opening since Riku quickly closed in on Vanitas until they stood merely two feet apart. “Thank you for taking the lead earlier. If it wasn't for you, the Heartless would have probably overrun the city.” He offered a lopsided smile and rested a hand on his hip. At least he didn't reach out with the other one, although Vanitas could almost feel how much he wanted to, either to squeeze his shoulder or ruffle through his hair or _whatever_ Riku used to do when he praised Sora for not fucking completely up.

But instead of snarling Vanitas gave a shrug, focused on keeping his expression blank. To be honest he gave a damn about Radiant Garden and its residents, but if the lights believed he fought out of compassion he wasn't going to complain. Whatever let them sleep at night or something.

“You've been training here some time, haven't you?” Riku asked after a while, making Vanitas almost twitch – but only almost. “From what we saw in the valley, the Heartless had been gathering through an open Keyhole for a while already. When you and Xion used your Keyblades it likely triggered them to move and rid of the threat. In a way you kept them from ambushing.”

“And that's important because?” Vanitas sighed in a bored tone, his free hand palming his front for a pocket. Once he remembered he was still in his bodysuit, he merely braced his hand against his hip.

They didn't lock eyes, but he could feel Riku's intense gaze as he studied his face. “I don't know how long you've been sneaking away and what exactly you did down here. But since you saved the city, I'm willing to let it slide.”

Vanitas couldn't help a bemused chuckle. “How _very_ generous of yours, _Master_,” he sneered, even going as far as to bend his head. His voice dripped with sarcasm and for a moment he considered making a bow, just to drive the mock a little further.

Unfortunately the gesture provoked a reaction regardless – from an entirely other end.

“Stop scolding Van-Van!”

Xion's shout made them both turn their heads toward her. She was still covered in sweat as she stamped over, eyes narrowed in a glare and hands balled into fists on either side of her body. “He's been really nice and fair once we made our promise! Thanks to him I became much stronger, too!”

Horrified Vanitas widened his eyes, even his yaw falling open.

He could only gape as Xion added, “Okay, he's a big meany most of the time. And I _really_ hated the push-ups. And he's _still_ so strong he beats Naminé and me so easily it's _unfair_, but-”

Before she could babble even more Vanitas dashed to her side, Void Gear falling on the ground with a clatter as he covered her mouth with one hand while his other pressed against the back of her head to keep her still. “Shut the fuck up,” he hissed under his breath, cold sweat running down his temple as he processed just how much information Xion had so mindlessly given away.

Behind them Riku nonchalantly crossed his arms before his chest. “Is that so now?” He flashed them a smile that was all teeth and his eyes shone with understanding as he pieced everything together.

Damn it. Vanitas should have known better than believe he could keep his cover...

“How did you know we needed help?” Naminé threw in out of the blue. The timing was so on spot Vanitas suspected she asked that on purpose, changing the topic though Riku would likely chew him out about it later anyway.

For the moment Riku, however, complied. “We ran into some bunny-Unversed and they tugged on my clothes until we would follow. We left them in the alley just outside the castle once we sensed the Heartless up ahead.”

Just as Riku finished speaking Naminé instantly commented, “Oh, I didn't know Unversed could think that far. But maybe they looked for help since they came from Xion and me?”

With a blink of his eyes Vanitas furrowed his eyebrows at her. What the hell was she talking about? Was that some devious trick to distract?

“_You_ can make Unversed, too?!” Riku gasped, the confusion obvious in his voice although it was also laced with distress. Vanitas completely understood that; lights spawning minions of dark would truly be unsettling, even to him.

Calmly Naminé shook her head as she crossed her arms behind her back. “The fight was pretty tough, so much that Xion and I were consumed by fear.” Her blue eyes turned around, zeroing on golden orbs. “Vanitas sucked the negativity out of us and spawned Unversed as a result. It's only thanks to him we were brave enough to go on.”

Still locked in his grasp Xion nodded eagerly and leaned against Vanitas, rubbing her head against his chest affectionately.

“Thank you. If you hadn't done that... I don't know what might have happened,” Naminé added, her voice turning more and more into a whisper toward the end before she shyly looked away.

Somehow Vanitas found it difficult to keep his eyes on her, too.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence and unmistakable tension in the air, Mickey subtly rolled his shoulders as he said, “It was a hard fight but the Heartless won't be back. How 'bout we go rest up and talk more tomorrow?”

Again Xion nodded and squirmed, so much that Vanitas eventually let her go. “I need a shower, too! I feel really yucky,” she commented, even went as far as to smell her armpit before she turned away with a disgusted face.

Vanitas didn't sniff on his own body, but he couldn't deny she had a point. A nice hot shower would be much appreciated at that point. Even with the refreshing spell probably Mickey cast on them – after a while of thinking Vanitas remembered an encounter with Ventus where he healed him in a similar way – the battle had been lasted for quite a while.

Not bothering with what the collective decided Vanitas started for the trail which led to the castle. In a second Xion was by his side, though she kept a safe distance to him as they walked.

Quite smart, given he was _still_ very much angry with her blowing his cover. Now he'd need to look for another spot to train, a task he'd rather have avoided, and also somewhat sneak his secret stock out as well.

He just reached the base of the trail when Naminé caught up with them, falling in step next to Vanitas. “Can you teach me how to use the Keyblade?” she leisurely asked as they headed up to the castle.

Vanitas shrugged his shoulders. “I doubt my style works for you.”

“But you're a great teacher,” she insisted, even bumped their shoulders together for a moment. “And when I'm stronger, I'll also be a better sparring partner.”

And there Naminé was again, devious as ever. Like he would turn _that_ down.

“Whatever you do, I think magic stays your strong side,” Vanitas eventually began. Slowly his mind filled with ideas and memories, whatever could prove of some use as he tried to bring his point across. “There's a reason Aqua's Keyblade came to you. She sucks at physical fight, but her magic attacks are nasty. You want to fight from the distance rather than face-to-face.”

“Sounds about right...” Slowly Naminé crossed her arms behind her back, her head cocking just a little as she listened.

“Footwork is also a thing. Be quick on your steps as well as smooth. Anyone with more than two brain-cells will see that you prefer to battle from the far and try to close in.” At his own words, Vanitas remembered the few times he clashed with Aqua. She was so swift in her movements it was annoying; he only got closer once the fight went on and she started to be tired out. It had been excitingly different from all the other battles he had faced up then, but once he caught on her strategy she was just as easy to defeat as everyone else.

They kept conversing lightly all the way up, Naminé asking a question once in a while about Keyblade-wielding and Vanitas replying where he saw fit. He absorbed the two Hareraisers when they ran into them, the rush of fear of dying easy to stomach. Without the imminent danger, it was only mildly unsettling.

Once inside the castle their ways separated quickly enough. The masters decided it was best to report in on Ansem while the girls were happy to get ready for bed. Vanitas was left delightfully alone – the hot shower he took washed away some of the tension, his sore muscles warming nicely under the steady spray. He stopped by the study on his way to his room, not quite ready for sleep just yet, and raided some books and a lexicon before he retired into his room.

As Vanitas went through the book – a collection about the human psyche – his mind wandered off to the events of that evening. Where there reports about Heartless, too? And Keyblades? Perhaps even records on how and why they came to certain people? Maybe even Void Gear was pictured in a book somewhere, along with a record about previous owners.

And given there was an encyclopedia about Heartless... Was there one for Unversed, too? He wondered what kind of names the lights came up with for his fleshed-out emotions.

It was easy to entertain such thoughts in the security of his bedroom. The more Vanitas read and heard in Ansem's lessons, the more his curiosity swelled, especially with nobody to snuff it out right at the beginning. Probably he should add in some books about battle strategies to his list though. Just to keep his eye on the ultimate goal of revenge, a little reminder so he didn't track off too far.

Before Vanitas could sink back into the paragraph he was reading, a knock broke the comfortable silence of his room. The door opened soon after, not even bothering for his permission, and he narrowed his eyes as he spotted the familiar mop of silver hair poking in.

Riku looked like he just came out of the bathroom – complete with comfortable, belt-less clothes and a towel around his shoulders as he wiped his hair. Still some of the water got on his gray shirt, making it darker like back when Vanitas took his first shower ever.

“I saw light under your door so I figured we could talk,” Riku stated as he closed the door behind himself, seemingly without a care in the world.

“Not like you gave me a choice about that,” Vanitas grumbled back, exaggeratedly holding the book so that it filled his entire view and likely blocked off his face from Riku.

“It's actually quite important.” He heard the soft scuffle of footsteps before a chair was noisily pulled back.

“You don't say.” Calmly Vanitas turned onto the next page of his book, face still hidden behind the thick cover.

Riku moved on as if the mock didn't affect him, or at least his tone didn't change. “Well, I figured a move of location would slightly interest you.”

Slowly Vanitas lowered the book, enough so his arched eyebrow and suspicious frown became visible on the top.

In response Riku smirked way too full of himself. “We're not going back to the tower. But I'll only explain if you put the book aside and at least _pretend_ to pay attention. And if you actually _do_ pay attention, I'll even answer questions.”

Now that sounded mildly tempting. While Vanitas liked being left alone by the masters, there were still a few things that he did like to know. So eventually he closed the book and laid it on the bed before he sat cross-legged on top of the covers.

“Thank you.” Riku gave him a smile that was somewhat tired and grateful at the same time, though his teal eyes remained sharp as ever. “After the most recent events, me and the other masters decided it would be better if we take you, Xion, and Naminé to the Land of Departure.”

And there went Vanitas' interest riiiiiiiiight out of the window.

While it was inviting to go move into the oh so precious castle of the trio, the thought about having to deal with Ventus was more than annoying. And although there was a certain enjoyment in taunting Aqua until she exploded, Vanitas was still glad to have her out of his way by the end of the day. Not to forget the swarm of lights hanging out at the place now, too.

However there was one question that burned on his tongue, so Vanitas voiced it:

“What do you plan to do with me once we're there?”

Oddly enough Riku avoided his gaze as he scratched the back of his head. “Well,” he began, stopped with a breath, and eventually said, “We want you to join our new training for Keyblade wielders. I think we'd benefit greatly from your influence.” After a brief pause he added, “At least that's what Mickey and I think.”

For a moment Vanitas allowed the words to sink in, then he fell back against the mattress in a fit of hysterical laughter. He was so loud, beside Mickey next door the entire floor must have heard him.

“Apparently you think that's funny, hu?” Riku dryly commented, barely audible between the barks of laugh and loud snickers.

“_Hilarious!_” Vanitas corrected, still laughing as he wiped a tear from his eye. Slowly it was getting hard to breathe, so he tried to calm himself. As amused as he was, he really didn't feel like passing out in front of Riku of all people. Not that fainting in _any_ company was comfortable, anyway.

Slowly the laughter quieted down to low chuckles and Vanitas relaxed with a sigh. He had rarely laughed so much and so hard, but there were just too many funny images coming together in his mind at the mere _idea_.

For instance, how he gleefully wrecked all the junior-lights with Void Gear. The only non-master who possibly held a chance against him was Sora, but the rest was barely stronger than Xion if he were honest with himself. Or at least he couldn't imagine them being any much tougher than Ventus, even if he had yet to cross Keyblades with some of them.

But nothing beat the thought of oh great Master Aqua's reaction to the news.

Vanitas had no need to be there to know she must have been close to a seizure when they discussed things over, safe the case she _actually_ knew they were coming in the first place. He didn't miss how Riku left out her name before, purposely so. Or maybe the fact she was objected by a teen and a mouse threw her in such a shock she dropped dead on the spot.

“I didn't know you could laugh like that,” Riku suddenly snickered and once Vanitas looked up at him he saw the corner of his mouth pulled up in a smirk.

“So?” he asked, his humor draining more with every beat of his heart. “Gonna compare me to your _little puppy_ again now?”

Still chuckling Riku shook his head. “Only enforces me in my decision,” he replied, matter of fact but with an edge of mirth to it.

Now that was suspicious.

With a flex of his abdomen Vanitas pulled himself up in a sitting position, golden orbs narrowed and eyebrows furrowed. “Which would be?” he supplied as the glare did little to urge Riku on.

“To put my faith in you,” came the answer, slipping so effortlessly out of Riku's mouth it seemed natural. It was almost enough to throw Vanitas into another laughing-fit – if it wasn't for the dead serious tension in the air. The situation was macabre rather than funny if he had to label it.

“I think you have great potential in you, Vanitas.” Riku made himself a little more comfortable on the chair, the wood creaking under his weight when he crossed his legs. “Although you lived isolated most of your life, you instinctively took over the lead when the Heartless attacked you and the girls. Further you absorbed their negativity and boosted their spirits enough to keep going and even managed to dish out a strategy to take down a _Demon Tide_.” He crossed his arms before his chest, the towel rustling around his shoulders at the motion. “On my first attempt, the thing swallowed me up and spit me out again. If it hadn't been for a friend's help back then, I would have been done for.”

“You make it sound like any of that was _for the collective_,” Vanitas spat, if only to stop the mindless blab. Part of him took immense pride at the words – after all, great Master Riku just admitted he was stronger than him in a way – but he had the feeling they were getting the wrong idea. As if he was slowly turning _good_, his _darkness_ converting to _light_.

Even if that assumption would put Vanitas in a great advantage, he couldn't let it just _be_.

He propped up a knee to rest his arm on it as he explained, “I don't go and _take the lead_. It's more that things either go _my_ way or _no_ way at all. If I'm so strong you little lights have the urge to follow me like ducklings, that's not my fucking problem. As for the Heartless,” he lifted his chin up, sneer perfectly slotted in place, “To my standards, those were weaklings. Easy to beat once you use your eyes and brain.”

Silently Riku eyed him before he gave a nod. “Maybe that's the point actually,” he stated, which made Vanitas furrow his eyebrows even further.

Picking up on the confusion, Riku uncrossed his arms and casually waved his hands as he explained, “Simply being yourself and doing your thing works just fine. You're such a natural it just _comes_ to you.”

“Kissing my ass doesn't earn you any bonus points,” Vanitas snapped, his lips pulling back into a snarl. This whole conversation was turning fishier by the second – and all that while he thought of Riku as one of the least crazy ones of the gang. He was not buying a single word of what Riku was saying, even as his heart gave no sign of a lie or intend of manipulation.

“Give credit where credit is due,” Riku answered with a lazy shrug of his shoulders. “Personally, I believe we have to get over this idea of light constantly opposing darkness. Where there is light, there will always be a smudge of dark. And even in the darkest pit there is always a glimmer of light. We need to understand both sides to reach a balance and peace in all worlds.” He paused for a moment and leaned a little closer, legs uncrossing as he rested his hands in his lap and his teal eyes locked with hard, suspicious gold. “With you, we get the chance turn that idea into a reality.”

Instantly Vanitas' glare turned icy, every fiber of his body tensing on its own.

“You sound just like Master Xehanort,” he whispered, barely audible but with hate lacing every syllable, “Musing how you plan to change the worlds by bringing light and dark together. But guess what? I'm done being a pawn in that game.”

He didn't miss how Riku tensed at the words, how his lips pressed into a thin line. “Sorry, that must have come out wrong,” he said after a moment of silent pondering. “Let me explain-”

“I said _I'm done_,” Vanitas interrupted with a growl before he barked, “Get the fuck out of my room.”

“Vanitas-” Riku began as he straightened. The moment he rose from the chair a Bruiser and two Scrappers manifested in the room as Vanitas aimed Void Gear at him, bottomless hate and disgust reflecting in the gold of his eyes.

“Get. The fuck. Out,” Vanitas growled between gritted teeth, his hand clenching around the handle of his Keyblade. Holding back was hard, turned harder with every passing second, but thankfully Riku heaved a sigh and turned to leave eventually.

Once he door clicked close Vanitas allowed his arm to fall down against the bed, Void Gear bouncing briefly at the sudden drop. The Unversed were still agitated around him, the Bruiser bumping against the table in the cramped space and one of the Scrappers climbing onto the bed behind him.

With a sharp inhale Vanitas absorbed them back, his glare intensifying at the surge of anger that flowed into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Again not much happens in the chap... sorry for the super slow pace. With the new location, I'll try to alternate the flow as well so the events unfold a little faster. 
> 
> Naminé got a Keyblade! Personally, I think that's pretty plausible. Kairi has one, too, after all. And since Naminé resulted out of Kairi when her heart was in Sora, it makes sense she also connected to the Keyblade a little. However I'm tired of the Kingdom Key... so instead I looked up and found a suitable Key in Aqua's Brightcrest. Ofc it's pretty advanced, but since Nami is a strong caster in this universe, I thought it would suit her best. 
> 
> Vanitas is getting pissed off again. While we all know better than Riku refering to Xehanort, he doesn't. Too bad for Riku xD 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chap! 
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	12. Surprises, Good And Bad

Once the door slid shut, Vanitas considered following after Riku and beat the living crap out of him.

How soft must he have looked to suggest Riku could _talk_ like that? That he would tolerate, maybe even _agree_ to being taken advantage of?

Even among lights he was still the dark pawn they pushed around on their board however they saw fit.

Vanitas was tired, worn out after the intense fighting, still he got up and stormed out of the room, Void Gear dissolving on its own as he left it on his bed. If he stayed he was just going to start a rampage sooner or later. It was safer, mostly for himself, if he instead went out and got a bit of fresh air while he sorted out his feelings and thoughts.

In less than two minutes Vanitas was outside already, a bit of sweat on his brow as the guards greeting him as he passed. He didn't spare them a reply, however they knew better than take offense in his silent treatment. In all the weeks spent in Radiant Garden he barely gave them a nod when he walked through the gates.

As Vanitas expected the night-air helped a little to cool his flaring temper. With a sigh he reached for the pockets of his clothes, only to realize he didn't grab his jacket as he left. On a whim – and with a low growl rumbling in his chest – he simply willed darkness into a fitting piece of clothe. It still had the overall weird, fleshy pattern even as a broad jacket with short sleeves, but all Vanitas cared for were the pockets anyway. Damn anyone who said he had poor fashion-sense.

No clear destination in mind he let his feet carry him on – and surprising enough, Vanitas soon found himself in the garden section he discovered on his first nightly journey.

The fountain was still in pieces, the water no longer running but the stone repaired on some spots. The holes he dug up when he ripped out plants were flattened again, or some new bushes were planted in their place. Where he and the Unversed left naked patches of dirt in the lawn fresh grass had regrown, erasing every sign of damage. Even the hazel he cut in two had been properly chopped down, only about two feet of the trunk left before it disappeared in the earth.

For a moment Vanitas thought about wrecking the place all over again, however it seemed like too much of an effort considering his tired state. And while he _was_ angry it was still a far cry from furious, at least as long as he didn't think about Riku's stupid face or the bullshit he talked about. Instead there was an... acid-like burn in his stomach, the taste of disappointment thick on his tongue.

Huffing loudly Vanitas walked onto the grass and, once he found a spot with no flowers nearby, simply dropped down and sat cross-legged with his arms still in the pockets. But as there was nothing to really capture his attention he eventually sunk down back-fist, gaze resting on the dark sky littered with stars above.

“Get the hint!” he yelled once he sensed a presence nearing, his voice echoing through the quiet space. Not that Vanitas had hoped his warning would be respected – hope was something he avoided mostly, and to make things harder, the lights used to act stubborn at the worst of times.

So he was pretty much prepared to hear approaching, light footsteps closing in on him.

“I understand ya want to be alone, but I think there are still some things that need some talkin'.”

Through the corner of his eye Vanitas saw a small shadow sit down about a foot away from him, clearly out of reach but still close enough for a conversation.

Huffing he reached under his nape to tug the hood over his head, far enough to cover his eyes. “You masters don't give much about consent, do you.”

“Gosh. He _really_ put his foot in his mouth, didn't he?” Despite the small chuckle Mickey sounded serious, nothing like his usual demeanor. In fact... was that a little bit of guilt Vanitas sensed there?

True enough, after a moment of silence Mickey suddenly said, “I'm sorry. Riku is so mature most of the time, I forget he still has much to learn.”

“Don't bring him up,” Vanitas grunted, the corners of his mouth pulled down. However he couldn't deny the bit of curiosity sparking in his chest; it was new for Mickey to show _any_ sort of dark emotion at all and he wondered how it would play out. Maybe he harbored more inside himself than guilt in fact?

But the emotion was so faint Vanitas had to concentrate on it to see any sort of change, especially since something lighter started to overlay it.

“Sorry. Guess I just want to look out for my friend, ya know?” He didn't need to look to know Mickey was wearing one of his large smiles as he uttered the words. But soon enough the seriousness returned to his voice. “I suggested he'd talk to you alone. Sometimes it's better to figure out the steps as you walk, so to say. But after you rejected him... I kind of figured it might be better if I dropped the bomb.”

The familiar knot of dread settled in Vanitas stomach and he pulled a hand from his pocket to lift the corner of the hood, just enough so he could stare at Mickey with a single eye. Apparently the motion alone was already enough of a signal for him to move on.

Drawing in a deep, long breath, Mickey eventually said, “Riku is going to take you as his apprentice.”

“... You're joking.” It wasn't a question. It was the only reasonable assumption Vanitas could come up with.

“Along with Xion, actually,” Mickey merely added.

“Seriously. Quit it,” Vanitas bit back, his teeth clamping down on the inside of his cheek in a weak attempt to keep his cool.

He didn't.

But before he _completely_ freaked out in a fit, Vanitas had the iron will to manifest a Chrono Twister. The moment the Unversed appeared it cast a Stopga-spell on him, effectively giving him the much needed break his mind desperately ached for. All the more so when his hand got frozen in the middle of summoning Void Gear.

Mickey wasn't kidding. That much became apparent as he remained completely still, as if he had expected such a fallout and was mentally prepared. He _did_ look quite surprised as the Stopga worked though, and to be fair, Vanitas was a little baffled himself over his own reaction. In the end he concluded it was a similar situation as with Naminé in the valley; his heart wanted to do something, but his mind decided it would act in the entirely other direction, as if to spite the thing beating in his chest. Not much of a long shot when Vanitas looked at his brief past, where he often had to act against his emotions out of mere orders. Old habits die hard – his brain probably just figured it had to fill out the hole Master Xehanort left, so it became his new boss instead of letting something as fleeting as feelings take the lead.

By the time the Stopga wore off, Vanitas had regained enough composure to relax his tensed muscles as he sat up. He would never admit it, but Mickey's presence helped greatly. The calm, collected air he always wore around himself was contagious; it kept the emotions from flaring even more, unless Vanitas was spiraling so much already he didn't need any more impulses to begin with.

Had there been anyone else, much more than the small section of the garden would get shredded apart.

“I don't need a _master_.” Vanitas all but hissed the last word, venom dripping from every single letter. “Especially not someone who talks like Xehanort two-point-_fucking_-zero.”

For a moment Mickey furrowed his eyebrows, but they relaxed as quickly as they scrunched up. “Don't get me wrong, but... No, actually, I _do_ believe that's what you think.” He leaned back on his arms, face toward the nightsky. “This idea that both light and dark are needed sounds a lot like what Xehanort believed. Everyone has a hard time even _thinkin'_ in that direction because of that. But when we draw hard lines, light and dark will keep clashin'.” Too big eyes turned to Vanitas and closed half as they settled on his face. “And every time there will be new victims.”

“Oh. Now I'm _a victim_.” Vanitas gave a dry, humorless chuckle. “Is that considered a promotion?”

He could tell Mickey considered saying something, however he took so awfully long to reply he chose his next words very carefully. “You're a skilled young man, Vanitas. That's why we want to help ya thrive.” The smile returned on Mickey's features and this time it reached his eyes as well. “Riku volunteered to take you as an apprentice so you can move more freely and spread out. But he's still learnin', too, so please talk to each other, okay?”

Golden eyes closed half in a glare, yet Vanitas pondered over the words. While he couldn't care less about all the dark and light business, gaining more room to act sounded quite tempting. And even if he was disgusted by the thought of being an actual apprentice, that role also gave him open permission to train his skills however he liked. After all, ones had to practice to wield the Keyblade, right?

Come to think of it... Maybe having Riku as his 'master' would come in handy for his plan to isolate Sora. He certainly was the easier target to Vanitas, or at least more so than that light-princess.

“We will depart in two days,” Mickey said, breaking the silence between them, “You should try to get some rest. The training schedule from the Land of Departure can be pretty packed.”

With a huff Vanitas fell back into the grass, eyes once again at the nightsky.

Two more days... and he'll move into the light's lair.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news about their leave spread quickly throughout the castle.

As he would be unavailable soon, Vanitas spent most of the next day in the laboratory. Ienzo wanted to collect as much data as he could and ignored the actual research for the time being. According to him, he could ponder about the results and interpret them whenever he pleased anyway. Even was present as well, however took his leave when the examination focused more on the Unversed. He was still very much uncomfortable around Vanitas, kind of like Ienzo, though the latter stuck around anyway. His fear and tension was a welcomed snack while Vanitas waited for him to finish all the tests. They asked if he could leave some Unversed in Radiant Garden, but he turned them down immediately. Although monsters, they were still part of Vanitas and he rather not let the scientists run shady experiments on them while he was absent.

Ansem summoned him into his office for a few quality talks as well as new psychological examinations, but this time around it was more of a conversation than Vanitas simply checking boxes in catalogs. Of course there were plenty of those too, however now he could work through them on his own. Surprising enough the topic never fell to Vanitas' research about the heart, or how he wouldn't be able to follow up once he was away.

Although he had yet to find an answer for himself, Vanitas didn't spare it too much thought. There was still no solid evidence that an actual answer existed in the first place while revenge was something very, _very_ real to him. It was easy enough to prioritize, at least for him.

Xion and Naminé were nowhere to be found, probably busy getting their bearings together. At least Naminé had a ton of supplies to take along, or better Vanitas couldn't really see her leaving them behind. In every spare moment she had a sketchbook and pens in hand, sometimes crayons or other supplies, and worked over the blank pages. It seemed like too much effort to just abandon it all behind, although Vanitas didn't really see the appeal. He once tried to draw Ventus' face and failed miserably, but the writing 'ventus sucks' came out well enough.

Overall the day passed quickly enough, however Vanitas found no sleep that night. His mind was too busy trying to cope with what laid ahead... and by the time morning came, he still didn't get rid of the knot in his stomach as they walked out of the castle.

The dreaded Gummiship was already parked in the plaza before the gates, waiting for them to get on.

Vanitas stifled a sigh as his shoulders sunk a little. His last experience on it came back loud and clear, his legs already feeling the tremble of the engine while his chest tightened at the memory of the seatbelt pulling taut when they made a curve, avoiding who-knows-what on their way.

The girls were already running up to the ship, low 'oohs' and 'aahs' coming from them as they rounded the cubish thing. Apparently they had never really journeyed between the realms or they'd clearly see what a poor excuse that ship was compared to the more elegant ways of traveling.

For a heartbeat, Vanitas envied them for their blissed oblivion.

Suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder, heavy but not squeezing down. Vanitas knew who it belonged to even without looking and his eyes already narrowed beneath the cover of his hood.

“You can take the spot as co-pilot,” Riku offered with a gentle, calm voice, “Maybe then it's a bit easier to fly for you?”

Not bothering to turn his head around Vanitas shrugged the hand off with a grunt. “With you flying, I decline,” he spat and made a few steps forward, bringing more distance between them.

After Mickey's explanation and reasoning Vanitas still didn't particularly get to terms with being Riku's apprentice, even if it was only on paper. They still hadn't talked after their last conversation, though Vanitas had the feeling Riku avoided him to give him a bit of space. Sooner or later they would have to sit down together though.

He heard Riku sigh behind him before he called, “Hey Xion! Want to sit on the front with me?”

Xion had poked her head out from behind the ship upon hearing her name and her entire face lit up at the offer. Instantly she sprinted off in his direction and pulled Riku close in a crushing hug, giggling madly as she squeezed down.

Blissed, blissed oblivion.

A heavy sigh escaped Vanitas before he could hold it back as he started off to the ship. Maybe Riku would actually fly decently considering they had two girls on board; being the sap of light that he was, surely some gallant part of him yearned to make the trip as pleasurable as possible for them.

However before he got anywhere close the Gummiship a voice in his back made him stop.

“Naminé, Xion, Vanitas! Please come here for a moment,” Ansem called. As Vanitas turned around, hands in his pockets as usual, he saw how he came down the steps of the castle flanked by Even and Ienzo.

As he approached Xion ran up to his side, even pulled a little so he hurried up, and by the time they met just outside the gates Naminé caught up as well. Slowly Ansem looked at each of their faces, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Thank you for your time here,” he said with a calm yet a little sad voice. “It was a pleasure to meet all of you. Please, feel free to drop by whenever you like.”

“And what if it's to break into your office?” Vanitas taunted, unable to swallow down the comment. Trust him to remind just how much of trouble he was, regardless of how far he had come. The elbow Xion jabbed into his side he pointedly ignored, too.

“Even then,” Ansem returned with a chuckle.

Ienzo made a small step forward, breaking out of the line. “But we can't have you leave without _these_.” With both hands stretched out he presented three little devices, each rectangle with a large screen in its middle and three yellow spikes on their tops.

“Gummiphones?!” Xion near-shouted as she picked up one of the devices and held it up into the air. “This is so cool! Thank you soooo much!” She cradled the item against her chest, her grin wide and happy enough to rival Sora's.

Naminé was much more cautious as she took one as well, the thing pretty big in her small hand, and eventually Vanitas reached out for the last one. “With those you can stay in touch across worlds. We have one too, so give us a call if we can help you with anything, okay?” Ienzo explained as he lowered his hands again. “Most of the others have one as well. They can show you how to use them.”

Slowly Vanitas turned the item in his hands. It was way too brightly colored for his taste, too much gold and red to be comfortable for the eyes. And stay in touch? What was that for, anyway?

Just as he eyed the thing it suddenly went off with a cheerful melody, a name flashing in bright yellow letters with two signs beneath it. Out of shier surprise Vanitas touched the screen and the image changed to a face, so close up that only a single cerulean eye was visible.

“Oh! It really _is_ Vanitas!” a way too cheery voice laughed through the device and the face pulled back, showing Sora with wide grin slotted in place. “That's so cool! I saw the name and-”

Mid-sentence Vanitas pushed at the red button under the screen with a frown, his nose crinkled and lips curled. A mere heartbeat later the Gummiphone went off again, Sora's name flashing across the screen along with two buttons beneath it. Vanitas instantly pressed down on the red one, similar to the one he used to end the call. The device went silent again and, thankfully, remained so long enough for him to release a held-back breath.

“How do you turn it off?” he asked, golden eyes snapping at Ienzo almost ferociously.

“Uh, uhm,” he stuttered, taken a little aback, “There is a button on the side. Keep pressing it and-”

Vanitas instantly turned the device and pushed once he found a small dent on the side. After a few seconds a few messages flashed up on the screen and he pushed down on the 'turn off' as soon as he read it. A silhouette of Mickey's head was then surrounded by a few dots before the screen went completely black. Only then Vanitas slipped the Gummiphone into a pocket of his pants, eyebrows furrowed and expression grim.

Trust Sora to sour his already foul mood even further.

And trust Ansem to simply shrug it off with one of his hearthy chuckles. “Figures Sora would be the first to notice new contacts in the list. Though... I am surprised how you handle the device, Vanitas.”

Upon hearing his name Vanitas fixed him with a stare. “What do you mean?” he asked while his hands returned in the cozy safety of his front pocket.

It was Ienzo who answered his question, voice a little higher than usual in mild surprise. “You instantly figured out how to end and even decline calls. And you turned the Gummiphone off pretty much on your own, too!”

“And that's impressive because...?” Vanitas shrugged his shoulders as he spoke, one of his eyebrows arched in suspicion. Where they taking him for an _idiot_?

“Sora is pretty... _bad_ when it comes to technical things,” Ienzo eventually admitted, although it sounded like he was underestimating and chose nicer words instead of being frank. “Ven picked up the functions quicker, but even he didn't come off as natural as you do when handling it.”

A sneer curled over Vanitas' lips at the words. “Of course. I'm the one who got all the brain cells,” he mocked, a faint chuckle bubbling up in his chest. Maybe it was childish, yet he couldn't help the spark of pride he felt whenever someone pointed out he was better than Ventus – or Sora, for the matter – at anything.

He knew that already of course, but it was still nice seeing others noticed it, too.

“Good to see you have no trouble with technology. I'm sure you'll enjoy your present to the fullest then,” Ansem commented before he moved his hands, which had been crossed behind his back the entire time, forward.

Confused Vanitas looked between his chopper eyes and the item Ansem held in his hands. It was a large rectangle, quite similar to the Gummiphone, but it was a bit thicker and held in a simple gray color. And what had Ansem said? It was a present?

Careful and a little hesitant Vanitas reached for the item.

“Since you're moving to the Land of Departure, it will be difficult for you to follow your researches. That's why we want you to have our prototype of the Portable-Gummi-Computer, the PGC.”

As Vanitas listened to Ansem's words he turned the PGC in his hands. Like the phone it had a button on one side and once he pressed it for a few seconds the screen, which stretched across the entire surface, lit up with the same silhouette of Mickey and the bright dots.

“You can access different functions over the symbols of the title screen. I'm sure you'll figure them out soon enough, but I'd like you to tip twice on the book with 'library' written beneath it first.”

Completely engrossed Vanitas tapped down on the symbol twice and the screen changed instantly. A white page opened up on the screen and several words stood on it along with the entire alphabet on the top.

“In the library you will found our entire research material in something alike 'digital books'. You can look for a specific title or categories, depending on what you are looking for. Just enter the words on the rectangle in the middle. On one of the short sides you'll also find a button. Please press it.”

Reluctantly Vanitas turned his eyes away from the screen and checked the sides instead. Once he spotted the button he pushed it and the device gave a soft vrrr-noise as something pushed out of it on one of the longer sides. As he turned the PGC so the new rectangle faced him, he realized it was some sort of pad with the entire alphabet on it along with some numbers and other symbols. Conveniently the screen changed as well when he turned it, the layout a bit different but the words now tilted so he could read them easily.

“That's the keypad. You can use it to enter in the words in the search-bar or to make your own notes in another function. It retreats when you push the button on the side again.”

Vanitas stopped listening already as, instead, he tapped on the middle-rectangle before he pushed down on the keys. Letters appeared in the bar above and once he wrote out 'heart' he tapped his finger on the symbol of a magnifying glass next to it. After a few seconds the screen changed again, an entire list of titles flashing on it. Some Vanitas even recognized as books he had held in his hands and skimmed through in the study.

Ansem's chuckle barely reached his ears as he tapped on one of the titles, the book instantly opening up for him on the screen. “There are many more functions on the PGC, but I'm certain you'll figure them out in time. If something doesn't add up or you need immediate help, use the blue disk symbol with 'Tron' underneath it.”

Baffled speechless Vanitas finally looked up from the item in his hands, his eyes searching for Ansem's. “What's the catch?” he asked with a strain in his voice.

“Catch?” Ansem repeated with a blink of his eyes.

Vanitas pushed the button on the side and the keypad retreated again, reducing the PGC to only its screen. “Why would you just _give_ me such a thing? It's too amazing to _not_ have a catch. So I'd rather you tell me the price right away,” he spat, eyes narrowing again as he tried to see through the trick.

His voice must have come out harsher than he thought since Even took a cautious step back, but Ansem remained completely unfazed and stood his ground. “You're a remarkable young man with a good head on your shoulders, Vanitas. I thought you could benefit from the PGC for your researches and studies. That's why we decided to give it to you.” His hands crossed behind his back again and a gentle smile laid over his thin lips, almost hidden by his beard. “If it troubles you to accept a gift, please, see the device as a reward for protecting Radiant Garden from the Heartless the other day.” Again Ansem uttered a chuckle before he asked, “I hope this _amazing thing_ is a good enough payment for your efforts?”

Suddenly Vanitas felt his ears heating up and he pressed the PGC against his chest, looking away. He didn't mean to express how he felt about the device, or at least not so openly. The words had simply spilled out the moment he suspected a trap.

“Hey Van-Van, let me try it, too!” Xion suddenly exclaimed and pushed up close, her hands reaching for the PGC.

Instantly Vanitas turned his body away and shielded it. “Not a chance. This is _mine_.”

He couldn't help the small smile forming on his lips at the word. Mine. Never before did he have something he could claim as his alone, something he could touch and treasure.

Never before... had Vanitas received a _present_.

“Aw not fair! You gotta share with your siblings!” Again Xion grabbed for the item, but her giggles gave away she was merely teasing. It made the smile on Vanitas grow a little as he pushed her away – right with his hand in the middle of her face – but the gesture disappeared as quick as it came up.

Unfortunately it didn't go fully unnoticed.

As he straightened, Vanitas caught a glance at Naminé. She was staring at him, blue eyes large and attentive, yet a little lost as if she wasn't properly there in mind. “What?” he growled, his skin crawling at the way she scrutinized him, like she tried to look all the way into his very soul and heart.

Naminé quickly fluttered her eyes in rapid blinks, a delicate blush laying over her cheeks. “N-nothing,” she whispered before she whipped around, her face on the ground. Before Vanitas could press any further Riku called out to them to hurry up.

As expected, the girls went in to hug Ansem for their goodbye, however Vanitas kept his distance. But when a hand stretched out to him he, after a while, extended his own for a firm shake.

“Take care,” Ansem said with a smile, to which Vanitas gave a nod. Then he turned around and headed for the ship, the PGC safely tucked under his arm. Perhaps it would get him the much needed distraction he needed during the flight.

It even worked – until Mickey fastened his seatbelt before he sat down himself on the other side of a small corridor. Naminé was seated right beside him, moving ever so often in her chair as she gazed around the room with big eyes. If she noticed how stiff he went she didn't comment on it and Vanitas himself tried to play it off by browsing through the symbols on the PGC.

However once a voice echoed through the space his focus went right out the window.

“Dear Ladies and Gents, welcome on board of Highwind One,” Xion practically sang through the speakers. “We went through flight protocol and everything is o~kay! Captain Riku is about to start the engine and then we take off to- What was it called again?”

Mickey and Naminé snickered as Riku murmured something to her with a chuckle.

“Oh! Yes! To the Land of Departure!” Xion cleared her throat before she added, “The weather is nice, goodbyes were given. Please remain in your seats until we are in the orbit, then you can get up and walk around I guess? I think there are snacks somewhere, too. I'll look for them once it's safe to move through the ship. But enough talk!”

As if on cue the engine roared to life and Vanitas found himself gripping the armrests tightly. Xion's rambling did little to calm his nerves, although it was mildly distracting. However it was still far from enough to forget the utter distrust he put into the cubish vehicle and, if he were completely honest with himself, thinking of Xion as the co-pilot wasn't exactly trustworthy. Hopefully Riku was mindful enough to not let her anywhere near the steering wheel.

The seat vibrated and Vanitas felt his weight push deep into the cushions. He tried to take slow, deep breaths to calm his nerves, but his muscles remained strained as he grabbed onto the rests hard enough that his knuckles turned white. Pale eyelids squeezed shut on their own accord and in a distant part of his mind Vanitas remembered the PGC and how he should have tucked it between his body and the seat to keep it safe. It would be a shame if it fell and broke right at the start. Yet he couldn't find the strength to let his hand go and reach for the device instead.

The pressure increased and he felt the ship shift around himself, tilt left and right while Riku steered it through the sky. Vanitas' throat burned with bile and tar, but he forced the sensations down even as it made his stomach rear up even further. Damn, what would he give for it to be _over_ already.

Suddenly he felt a touch at the back of his neck and he flinched momentarily, eyes still firmly shut. After a moment Vanitas recognized the feeling – and ever so slightly his body relaxed, his focus shifting from the dreadful flight to the fingers gently combing through the hair on his nape.

The soothing motion stayed even when the ship moved calmer around them and, somehow, Vanitas hoped the fingers would stay there until they landed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> This chap ended a little shorter and is petty dry... but with the next the action begins.   
I felt the need to explain some stuff about the PGC since the item will be used by Vanitas a lot in the future :)  
And yes, it has a copy of Tron on it. Simply becaaaaause xD
> 
> Sooo Vanvan becomes an apprentice. Though, Riku will hardly treat him as one and more like an equal.   
You'll see what I mean in the future chaps ;D 
> 
> Also, since I have a few hilarious scenes planned for the Land of Departure that don't really fit (or contribute) to the main plot of the story, I'm starting a small spin-off story soon - The Land of Shenanigans. There will also be some different PoVs in there, but it's mostly a series for shits and giggles xD 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this update although it took a while. 
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	13. Settling In

Through some wonder they didn't crash that time either and landed in the Land of Departure after a few hours. The flight itself went calm enough – thankfully Xion didn't get to navigate at all, although she begged for it – so the nausea was mostly bearable for Vanitas. After the initial shaking and tilting when the Gummiship entered the world it was also easier to get up from the seat, or at least it took much less than back at Radiant Garden. Perhaps he was getting used to the ordeal after all.

… Still a small part of him hoped it was the last trip for at least another few weeks.

Xion was outside the moment the door opened, but Naminé and Vanitas took a little longer. Especially Naminé had several bags with her and since Xion was off the picture, Vanitas ended up carrying some of them while Riku took the rest of the baggage.

Unsurprising enough, half of the gang had gathered to 'welcome' them in the castle.

Xion was already by Roxas, her arms flailing and moving as she told him about the flight. Roxas looked interested enough – his eyes had that typical, Sora-ish gleam of wonder to them and his mouth opened wider and wider the longer she spoke – and he had slung her backpack over his shoulder as he listened.

The other two, unfortunately, were less distracted as they climbed out of the ship.

Mickey had approached them already and talked quietly to Aqua, but Ventus had his entire focus on the vessel and instantly jogged up to them as Vanitas was barely on his second step down. Just seeing him come closer set him on edge, his fingers twitching for Void Gear and a swarm of Unversed clawing at the corners of his mind. However he bit back the emotions as hard as he could, knowing how much of a hassle it would be if some Bruisers and Scrappers popped out of the ground like daisies, especially so shortly after their arrival.

“Vanitas!” Ventus cheered, his arm waving frantically as he sped up.

… Alright, if he dared to _touch_, Vanitas would go on a rampage. All impressions and plans be damned.

Just as Ventus was close enough, a mere step before Vanitas decided to snap, Riku suddenly walked ahead and stopped right in his view. “Hey Ven, care to help me with the luggage? I could use a hand.”

From his spot Vanitas watched how Ventus' face shifted – first confusion, then to uncertainty, and eventually defeat. “Sure,” he whispered as he took one of the large bags, his blue eyes longingly glancing over to Vanitas.

He responded with a snarl and an audible growl.

“Welcome to the Land of Departure.”

The sudden greeting shifted Vanitas' focus off Ventus, though the new target wasn't much better. Yet he stifled the groan and the roll of his eyes as Aqua walked up to them. He refused to attempt a smile though – they both knew it would be anything but sincere anyway.

“It's nice to have you here,” her lips carried a smile, but it was cold and fake when she directed it at Vanitas. “You must be tired; how about I show you guys to your rooms first? We can talk after dinner.” Aqua uttered a brief chuckle before she added, “I hope you're not too hungry though. Terra and Axel are on kitchen duty tonight.”

Naminé instantly giggled along, but Vanitas didn't as much as bat an eye at the poor joke. However the opportunity came so invitingly, complete with a fluffy ribbon on its top, that he lacked the strength to pass it up.

“Oh well. If the food sucks, I'll just snack on your _fear_ instead.” A sneer curled over his lips at his own words, which only turned wider at Aqua's sour face.

“_Vanitas_.” The way Riku growled his name was a clear warning, but all he did was chuckle lightly. Oh, the fun he was going to have.

He got the stink-eye, but Aqua seemed to shrug off the rest of his tease rather than take his bait. The smile quickly slid back in place, polite and open, and she gestured toward the castle.

For a moment Vanitas regarded the front – the way the building stretched up into the sky and fanned out against all laws of gravity. The place where Ventus' body waited for over ten years, hidden away from the world while his heart grew out of the gabs in it – and the first world Master Xehanort ever took him to after years and years of isolation and abuse.

A strangely familiar air engulfed the place... Maybe because of the connection his heart had to Ventus? Vanitas certainly hadn't been there long enough to develop such a feeling. In fact, after a few minutes into the mark of mastery exam he retired and napped against a wall, deeply disappointed by the poor display of skill. Yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from the castle, his head starting to pound the longer he stared at the building.

“Vanitas?”

A hand landed on his shoulder and he flinched, almost swinging Naminé's bag at the startle. Thankfully his other hand held tightly onto the PGC; a shame if it would have dropped from the startle.

“Are you okay?” Riku asked, his eyes scrunched together a little. “I called you twice but you didn't answer.”

Vanitas shrugged the hand off, not even bothering with an answer. Instead he crossed the distance between himself and the rest of the group, most of them already half-way up the stairs. For a moment he thought about joining Naminé, but Ventus was walking right beside her and seemed to be talking. Probably the noisy idiot wondered whatever she brought along, given he ended up carrying one of her bags.

Under other circumstances Vanitas might have scowled, but with the growing headache it was rather convenient to walk in last. Or pre-last, given Riku was tailing him.

They entered the castle and instantly turned right, crossing various corridors and stairs. The layout was simpler than Radiant Garden's – in fact, Vanitas had a good sense of where he was – but the distance was much longer, which was annoying. They must have been at the level of the first tower when another set of stairs leading upwards appeared.

“This is the apprentice-tower,” Aqua explained loudly as she climbed the first set, “There are four rooms on each level with a shared bathroom on the end of the corridor. Naminé, Xion, your rooms are on the left.” She gestured down the hall with a smile on her lips.

Xion sprinted off, however whirled around after a few steps. “Which one is Van-Van's room? I want to be opposite his!”

Vanitas rolled his eyes at the childish demand, but oddly enough, Aqua tensed ever so briefly up.

“Axel and I occupy the other side,” Roxas threw in, along with a sidelong, smug smirk in Vanitas' direction.

“I thought you would like to sleep on the same floor,” Aqua added with a refreshed smile. “You're good friends, right?” She cocked her head a little, a gesture Vanitas saw her use whenever she tried to be reassuring in a slightly manipulative way. “Besides, the quarters aren't particularly large. He'll be just a floor above yours.”

“Yeah, but...” Xion trailed off and glanced over at Vanitas, longing in her eyes. Naminé gave him a similar look, although she kept silent.

Suddenly Ventus joined into the conversation, his eyebrows furrowed. “Why does Vanitas move into the floor above all on his own? The room next to mine is still empty.”

Had he been a little more attentive, Vanitas might have noticed how Aqua struggled at the comment. However his headache was ticking him off, there were far too many people around, and the mere _thought_ of being constantly close to Ventus was already enough to make his blood boil.

And so he lashed out, like he always did when he got overwhelmed.

“Works for me,” he started before his lips pulled into a sneer. “A whole floor to myself? A chance to get some _peace_ and _quiet_? Sounds better than the alternative. Because you,” he pointed at Naminé, “Are a stalker and would probably watch me sleep. You,” his finger wandered over to Xion, “Snore like a wrinkled old man. And before I sleep next to _you_,” he finally gestured at Ventus and added a glare, “I'd rather go live under a bridge.”

The anger flaring up all around him was soothing, something else to focus on than the headache, and before the effect wore off he dropped Naminé's bag and turned back toward the stairs. Ignoring the various calls and sometimes insults thrown into his back he climbed another set of stairs and punched open the first door he spotted, revealing a simple room with a bed and a few pieces of furniture. Without much care he instantly marched over to the bed and fell into it, face first to avoid the brightness coming from the windows, before he pulled his legs up and curled into himself.

It couldn't have been longer than an hour and the headache was still throbbing in Vanitas' temples by the time he heard footsteps down the corridor. He had left the door open – given where he was, he'd rather see whoever moved around right away – but once he spotted silver hair he allowed his eye to slide close again.

Surprising enough, Riku _actually_ knocked on the frame before he asked, “It's almost time for dinner. But can I have a word with you first?”

“Oh, now we bother with consent?” Vanitas shot back, not even bothering to open his eyes.

“... I know it was rude of me to just walk into your room the other day.” He heard Riku shift his weight. “That's why I'm asking properly now. If you don't want to talk, I'll just take you downstairs in silence.”

Ever so little Vanitas poked his eye open again, carefully observing Riku on the other side of the room. His eyes were sharp as ever and he leaned against the frame of the door, but was still somewhat outside. In a way Vanitas was reminded of Mickey; surely he had given him some renewed advice after their nightly talk under the open sky.

For a moment Vanitas considered blowing him off, just for the heck of it, but in the end he just heaved a sigh. “Just keep it short,” he grumbled as he sat up, his head throbbing a bit harder at the action.

Oddly enough Riku didn't approach – and Vanitas briefly wondered if that was because he hadn't asked him in – but his lips quivered slightly as if he fought off a motion. “I actually just wanted to know how you feel about crowds?”

“What kind of question is _that_?” Vanitas returned with furrowed eyebrows.

Riku merely shrugged while he crossed his arms before his chest. “You were pretty harsh when you talked to Xion and Naminé. I just wondered if the mass of people set you off since I never saw you lash out like that.”

Vanitas gave a dry chuckle. “I say mean things all the time.”

“Mean yes, but you were downright snarky.” Riku cocked his head a little to the side, his silver hair shifting at the tilt. “Usually you use that tone toward me. Probably to Ventus and Sora, too. But it was the first time in weeks you talked like that to the girls.”

It was hard for Vanitas to find a suitable comeback – because Riku was frustratingly _right_. Over time his nasty comments had turned into some sort of tease whenever he talked to Xion and Naminé. A little game of words they tossed forth and back.

“If you don't feel comfortable around the others, we can keep your training separate from them until you settled in,” Riku offered after a minute of silence.

For a moment Vanitas considered the idea. “Crowds are fine,” he bit out through gritted teeth. It was true to an extend, but there were plenty of lies hidden in it still. However he'd rather deal with the discomfort than end up isolated and overly watched again, especially in a place like that. “I just said the truth in a rather frank way.”

Riku arched an eyebrow at that, which made Vanitas snarl a little. “It _is_,” he insisted as he slipped his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Naminé _stares_ at me all the time. Outside, inside, it doesn't matter. And I _heard_ Xion snore like an old man when she fell asleep during a lesson from Ansem. She fucking _drooled_ on her papers.”

Just as he half-way expected, Riku stifled a laugh at his reply. “Okay. Point taken,” he answered with a little snicker. “Just, let me know if anything bothers you, alright? If you need something, I'll see what I can do about it.”

Vanitas sneered as the master-apprentice card was played, much more elegant than two nights ago. Whatever Mickey had suggested was working. “I'd really like to kill Ventus,” he taunted, just for the hell of it.

“I'm afraid homicide is off the table.” Riku jerked his head in the direction of the stairway. “Wanna go grab a bite? I heard Terra and Axel made soup and goulash. Usually there is also some sort of cake from Aqua, too.”

Hunger was indeed clawing on Vanitas' insides, so he finally rose from the bed. However he might have gone too fast; just as he stood his temples ached enough for him to hiss, one hand rising to palm the skin.

“Headache?” Riku supplied, his arms uncrossing and a bit of concern flashing over his face.

“It's nothing,” Vanitas mumbled back, willing himself to ignore the pain. For a moment he glanced at the winkled blanket, then decided to grab the PGC and put it on the windowsill. Given the evening tired him more than expected he might end up collapsing in bed; he really didn't want to risk damaging his treasure then.

Riku eyed him closely as he approached. “Maybe some food and water will help. I'll see if Aqua has any medicine too, so let me know if it gets worse, okay?”

Vanitas made a point to shove him with his shoulder as he passed.

“I'm not saying that because I think you couldn't handle it,” Riku said as they headed for the stairway. “All I want is you in your best condition tomorrow.”

There was a suspicious smirk in that voice, so Vanitas instantly narrowed his eyes and slanted him a look. “It's a surprise. You'll get the details after dinner.” Riku had the nerve to wink at him before he sped up just enough to walk ahead, likely to lead the way.

Were Vanitas feeling better he might have pressed the issue further, but for now he only wanted to get his stomach filled. Headaches weren't much of a big deal, but he had them rarely enough to not be used to the pain. It was annoying more than anything, the constant sting around his skull, dull but persistent. Perhaps it came from the stress of flying and being in enemy territory; once he stomached the events, the headache might fade a little.

They descended the stairs completely and walked back up the corridor the same way they came from. However once they reached the middle tower Riku turned to the right and climbed another set of stairs. They must have been on the second or third floor when he turned into yet another corridor, but this time windows lined the walls and the smell of food was in the air.

Unsurprisingly so, the kitchen and dining area waited around the next corner.

It was spacious and friendly; a large, wooden table that could easily fit a dozen occupants beside a kitchen island with several stoves and other equipment. Up against the wall were several cupboards, the doors mostly closed safe for the ones Terra was currently digging through. Axel seemed very focused on the big pots on the stove, a wooden spoon in his hand as he glanced down at the content.

“Hello guys,” Riku greeted with a loud voice, undoubtedly to make their presence clear. “Is the meal ready yet?”

Axel made a thoughtful noise, his gaze still on the pot. “As ready as it can be, I guess. Wanna try?”

Instead of replying Riku tilted his head back toward Vanitas. “Why don't you give it a try? You never ate goulash before, did you?”

Eventually Axel lifted his face – and his mouth twitched as their gazes met, but it was gone too fast for Vanitas to figure out the accurate emotion behind it. Instead he watched him grab a spoon from the counter next to the stove and scoop up a bit of whatever he was cooking and held it out.

One eyebrow arched Vanitas approached and glanced at the spoon. The substance was reddish-brown with pieces in it, but the smell coming from it was inviting. Still skeptic he accepted the spoon and brought it to his mouth to give it a few blows – not too long ago Vanitas had burned his tongue on too hot food – before he swallowed it down and chewed.

It tasted like meat, though it was so tender it practically fell apart on its own. But the longer he chewed the stronger another sensation became, starting on his tongue and spreading rapidly. It was a bit like heat, yet not quite. In fact it was almost... painful?

“It burns...!” he gasped, however forced to keep his eyes from widening.

Axel gave a shrug at his comment. “I put in a bit of chili, but kept it rather tamed. Some people can't take too hot food.”

“What's chili?” Vanitas immediately asked as he inched his spoon back to the pot to get more of that, what did Riku call it? Goulash!

“Hey, don't stick your spitty spoon back in!” Axel complained as he swatted his hand away. Instead he took a bowl from the stack Terra put on the counter and poured a good amount of the goulash into it. “Chili is a spice. Usually it comes in flakes or in a sauce. The more you put in, the more the food burns.”

“You can add _more_?” Vanitas felt the pull of his own grin on his lips as Axel handed him a small bottle with red, dry flakes in it.

Instantly he undid the cap with his thumb and dumped a rich amount on top of his bowl.

“Woah, easy there,” Riku warned and reached for the bottle, but pulled his hand back again after a moment. “It's better if you add in little by little and taste it first.”

“I know what I'm doing,” Vanitas insisted as he put the bottle down and instead dug his spoon into it. Quickly he scooped a mouthful in, added a second while he was still chewing, and then a thi...

Suddenly his throat closed up and he coughed, almost dropping the bowl in the process. Quickly Riku gathered it from his hands while Axel laughed like an asshole in the back, but Vanitas was too busy to punch him. Instead he slapped his hand against his chest, the burn going down his throat and into his stomach like fire. Before he could stop it two Red Hot Chilis manifested around him, their lids trembling at the fire cooking in their bodies.

In a flash they were covered in ice and broke apart, returning to Vanitas with an odd chill added to the usual pain. However in that particular case it eased the burn enough for him to breathe again, although his mouth still felt incredibly hot.

“Too spicy for you?” Axel mocked with a chuckle, to which Vanitas shot him a glare.

“I just ate too fast.” Demonstratively he snatched the bowl of goulash back from Riku, mixed the chili equally under the mass with his spoon, and took another bite.

“You can have another helping,” Riku told him, a frown on his face as he eyed the steaming bowl and dissolved his Keyblade again.

Vanitas turned away, blocking the view to the bowl cradled against his chest. “I _can_ eat it!” he insisted with a growl before he shoved another spoonful into his mouth. The burn was still there, but it turned more bearable the longer he chewed and ate. However he decided to be a little more... careful the next time he added spice to his food.

He could feel Riku's frown on his back as he strolled to the table and took a seat. The chair was hard but served it's purpose as Vanitas calmly dug through his meal. However after a while a glass was put before him – filled to the edge with a white substance he suspected to be milk.

“It eases the burn better than water,” Terra explained as he sat down a few chairs away. His face was neutral but a little tensed, probably from holding back a smile. They had only met so often but Vanitas still knew an urge when he saw one – and being around cheery little Ventus for so long surely rubbed off, too.

Soon enough Riku joined them in the quiet meal. He even brought some slices of bread along and dipped them in the thick sauce, sometimes even gathered a bit of meat and vegetables along, too. On a whim Vanitas mimicked him and stole a few slices for himself as he ate. For a moment he wondered what Terra's soup was like and considered just dunking a slice in, but his plate was too far away to bother. It was probably no match to his extra-seasoned goulash anyway.

The calmness was short-lived though; Vanitas was merely half-way done when Aqua joined for dinner, along with Mickey. While she wasn't exactly noisy, her presence still brought a noticeable tension to the air, or at least for him. Terra remained completely unfazed, as did Axel by the pots, but Riku would sometimes dart his eyes to him as it to check if he was moments before losing it.

However Vanitas behaved and focused on his food instead – that was until the rest of the gang came in.

Xion planting herself into the seat next to his wasn't an issue. Neither was Naminé who took the spot opposite his. Roxas was entertainingly pissed off, likely thanks to the snarky comment Vanitas got out before he went to his room, and for a moment he considered to snack on his anger for dessert.

Unfortunately Ventus, oblivious as he was, decided it would be _a good idea_ to sit on Vanitas' other side. It even made sense, given Terra wasn't too far away either. But that would only work if they _actually_ got along.

As things were, Vanitas rumbled out a growl and rose from his chair the moment Ventus sat down. At least he had finished his bowl in time, although he had been thinking about seconds. Maybe he could sneak some out for himself during the night.

Suddenly Aqua made a noise. “Are you finished already, Vanitas?” she asked and stood as well.

“I know the way back to my room,” he instantly said, hands slipped into the front pocket of his jacket. It was more comfortable than crossing his arms before his chest and it was easier to push down the urge to strike if his hands were covered. Swinging Void Gear around after only a few hours would only stir up the lights and he liked his bedroom _without_ a trapping barrier, thank you.

He watched Aqua still for a moment before she replied, “I'll make it quick so you can retire.” Straightening completely she clapped her hands together and drew in a deep breath. “Welcome in the Land of Departure. I think I speak for everyone when I say we are very happy to have you here with us.” Some claps joined her speech, although Vanitas merely rolled his eyes. “We want to help you improve your skills as Keyblade-Wielders and, if you wish to, prepare you for the mark of mastery. Since we have only a couple of apprentices for now, we can focus individually on you guys. Xion, Naminé, Vanitas,” she regarded each of them with a brief glance, “To see where you currently stand, we'll make a sparring session tomorrow morning. That means magic lesson is canceled and instead you others can come and watch the fights at the training ground.”

Despite what he expected, Vanitas found himself mildly tempted. It was hard to turn down a good fight and given the battles were supposed to figure out their skills, it also pretty much meant he was allowed to go all out. Was that the surprise Riku talked about when they headed downstairs for dinner?

Once Vanitas left the kitchen – Aqua didn't stop him, so he figured all the necessary information came across – he felt a tug on the corner of his lips. It grew the closer he got to the quarters and by the time he went back into his room he was full-on grinning in anticipation.

As Vanitas roamed through the cabinets and picked up some clothes before heading off to the bathroom, he wondered who would end up as his opponent the next day. Probably Aqua wouldn't leave the decision to them – or at least to Vanitas – so Ventus was off the table. Maybe she would actually fight herself to properly test their abilities? He certainly wouldn't shy away from the challenge.

Washed up and with still damp hair Vanitas strolled back into his room and switched on the PGC, if only to distract himself a bit. While the headache had eased a bit over dinner and in the shower the throbbing was turning worse again, a constant twinge that started on the temples and spread over the entire skull. Even the letters before his eyes turned blurry from time to time, making it hard to read.

And it certainly didn't help when, just a while later, his room was invaded mercilessly.

“Come _on_, Van-Van!” Xion whined so annoyingly she sounded like Sora. She even got his pout down, too, as she bounced on the corner of Vanitas' bed. “Let's go up to the roof! Please! Pleaaaaase!”

Eyes closed Vanitas massaged his forehead with a sigh. Xion had been going for several minutes already, every word making the headache just a little worse.

Eventually the pain and irritation grew so strong Vanitas kicked her off the bed before he swung out of it, a snarl on his lips and a growl in his throat, and stalked out of the room. The silence only lasted for so long though since Xion quickly caught up with him, a happy hum on her lips as they climbed the stairs of the tower. Was he in better shape, Vanitas would have put up more of a fight and just ignored her pleas, but the day had been long and he wanted to sleep. Given Xion was even more stubborn than Sora, she would have stuck around all the way to sunrise if he didn't cave.

Thankfully the trip was fairly short; about four floors later they reached a door that led out to the pointy top of the tower. A narrow path of stones encircled the roof and, a couple of steps further away, Roxas and Naminé already sat on the edge with their feet dangling in the air while Axel stood next to them with his back on the wall. In the far the sun was setting, painting the sky in orange and pink as the last few sunrays hit the floating islands in the far.

“Sorry it took so long,” Xion said as she walked over and sat on the edge next to Naminé.

“The ice cream didn't melt, so we're good.” With that Axel pushed off the wall and leaned down, handing her a blue rectangle on a stick. Xion accepted it with a huge grin, broad enough to make her eyes squint a little, and Axel actually chuckled before he straightened and headed over to Vanitas. His hand stretched out as he offered yet another of those odd things and although he wore no grin on his lips he appeared all but malicious.

“I know it's nothing special, but we figured it would be a nice housewarming gift,” he announced, his wrist flicking just a little.

Suspiciously Vanitas eyed the item before he eventually reached out and took it. “What's a housewarming gift?” he asked as he inspected the blue thing. A slight chill came from it, barely strong enough for him to sense it on his fingertips.

Axel gave a shrug as he bit on his own thing. “It's common to hand over gifts when someone moves somewhere. We aren't exactly friends, but Roxas and I figured it might as well be good for a fresh start.” After a brief pause and a deep breath he added, “Sorry for the things back at Radiant Garden. Shouldn't have jumped to assumptions without really knowing you first.”

In the far Vanitas heard Roxas snort and their eyes met for a second when he glared over. He could feel the frustration come off in waves, mixed with anger and the struggle to keep himself in check.

With a sneer Vanitas headed over and plopped himself down next to Xion. She all but beamed and licked on her item, blue eyes twinkling with interest as he brought the stick up and mimicked her motion.

The lick brought little flavor, so Vanitas instead took the tip in and sucked. The surface was wet, watery even, and he grimaced at the odd mix of salty and sweet filling his mouth. Yet it felt strangely familiar... As if he ate something alike it before, but not quite.

“So, how do you like sea-salt ice cream, Van-Van?” Xion asked with the grin back on her face.

“Ice cream?” Vanitas incredulously repeated. “It's not creamy at all.”

Next to him Axel sat on the edge as well, his ice-cream spotting a visible bite on one corner. “It's actually a Popsicle. Still belongs to the ice cream family though.”

Quietly Vanitas hn-ed to himself but kept eating. While the contrast was harsh, that was also what gave the Popsicle its charm. It certainly tasted more interesting than all the other flavors he tried so far, although it was weird to hold it on such a thin cone. In fact, Vanitas was surprised it hadn't turned soggy already.

When after a few minutes the top of the cone poked out and he took a tentative bite, Vanitas understood _pretty _fast why it remained _solid as a stick_ the entire time.

“Blergh...” As if offended Vanitas held the Popsicle briefly away, his lip curled in disgust. The wood stung against his teeth as he clamped down, assured it would give in, but at least he didn't get any splinters into his tongue. He still made a point to eat it all up, if only to get the opportunity to chew on the stick afterward.

It remained blissfully quiet as they finished their ice cream and although he could tell Roxas wasn't very found of having him around, even he didn't carry a smudge of darkness as the sun slowly set on the horizon. Distantly Vanitas remembered it seemed to be 'a thing' for the trio; back in their, as far as it could be called, home world was a huge clock tower they regularly met at to watch the sun sink in the far while they ate ice cream. Vanitas had never been to a place like Twilight Town, not exactly cared for either, but Xion and Naminé seemed connected to the place, as well as Roxas and Sora.

Apparently it also had a fancy restaurant run by a duck and a rat nowadays, too. How that exactly worked out was a mystery to Vanitas, however he found himself curious for it. Maybe they could walk by one time and try out their goulash?

“Aw bummer,” Xion suddenly whined, head hanging low between her shoulders.

“I got no luck either,” Roxas replied with a grumble. When Vanitas glanced over to see what the fuzz was about, he witnessed them staring at their Popsicle sticks.

Axel gave a slight chuckle. “Maybe next time. Besides, it's not like you never got one.”

Xion hummed before she bumped her shoulder against Vanitas'. “What about you, Van-Van? Any luck?”

“I have no clue what you're talking about.” It was a little difficult to talk around the stick, but once he pushed it into the side of one cheek it turned manageable enough. He'd ditch it before going inside though.

“Sometimes the shop uses sticks with an imprint for the Popsicles. If you get one of those, you can trade it for a free ice cream,” Axel explained with an easy yet patient voice. For a moment Vanitas wondered how much of that was his actual character and how much the influence of hanging out with nobodies. From what he caught, both Roxas and Xion had quite the difficulty adjusting to their lives as people; it didn't seem like a long shot to assume they were about as clueless as Vanitas in fact, though he rarely showed that in company and found his way around eventually. But being such good friends with them and undoubtedly much more experienced, Axel surely ended up explaining the simplest things and answering the dumbest of questions most of the time, and all the while without being a dick.

Vanitas doubted he would be able to if he was in the same position.

On a whim he grabbed the stick and pulled it out of his mouth, golden eyes squinting down at the tip. “Huh. It says 'winner',” Vanitas read aloud, a light chuckle leaving his mouth at the silly crown symbol on the very top. It was littered in marks from his teeth, countless little dents that covered both sides.

Roxas gave a drawn-out sigh while Xion cheered. “Lucky you! Means you won another sea-salt Popsicle! Axel could go get it for you right away.” She pushed a little harder against him with a giggle and he wondered if she'd be just as happy if she had won, she seemed so earnest.

“Hm. I think I'll just toss the stick,” Vanitas replied as he turned the smooth piece of wood between his fingers. When he thought about it the ice cream tasted a lot like ocean water and he wasn't particularly fond of that.

“I'll take it if you don't want it,” Roxas quickly mumbled. He had leaned forward just slightly, barely enough to look all the way over to Vanitas. His eyes were fixed on the small stick before they narrowed, as if he was angry Vanitas had been chewing on it absently.

“And what is it worth to you?” he asked with a sneer and a delighted cackle when he sensed Roxas' anger intensifying.

“You wanted to scrap it,” he bit back with a snarl.

Vanitas merely shrugged his shoulders. “Guess garbage always holds _some_ value... for morons.”

“You damn prick...!” He saw how Roxas clenched his hands on top of his thighs, jaw set tight as he gritted his teeth. A lovely reaction, at least much more so than Ventus in comparison.

“I'm darkness. What do you expect?” Grinning maliciously Vanitas stuck the tip back into his mouth and _gnawed_ down demonstratively. “So? Anything you wanna trade for it?”

As the sun eventually disappeared, painting the sky dark blue and black as the first stars glimmered on the horizon, Vanitas figured that his time at the Land of Departure might suck less than he initially expected.

… At least as long as he had some lights to play with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> This time the update took much longer than expected. I actually wanted to have it done by last weekend and start on the next, but I got sick... and by this Tuesday I was down with fever and coughing and feeling like I'm about to die orz 
> 
> I AM a baby when it comes to infections... but this time it was nasty. I'm well enough again though, so I plan to write more! 
> 
> Finally everyone arrived at the Land of Departure. The next chap will have quite a bit of action to it :D  
Attentive readers may have noticed something quite odd in this chap. Fell free to make suggestions :)  
It will be revealed in two chaps though. So no pressure. 
> 
> BTW, while I try to keep the story canon, I am avoiding all spoilers for ReMind for the time being.  
At least here it will only be released in January.  
Once I played it, idk how much I'll adapt it to fit the story. But I might do a few fixes or not, depending on the context. 
> 
> I hope you liked this chap, it's a bit longer than usual to make up for the wait :)
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	14. Practice & Theory

Vanitas couldn't help the twitch in his fingers as he rolled his shoulders and stretched his neck. He had woken with an even stronger headache than the day before, but once he was outside and standing on the dusty, round field on the training grounds the pain turned easy to ignore.

Just a little longer and he could test himself against a foreign opponent.

Naminé seemed nervous more than anything while Xion was anticipating the clash a little like him. They had done a bit of stretching and warmed their muscles, just as they did before they sparred back in Radiant Garden. An easy routine they grew over their training sessions and time together.

Just as Vanitas straightened he noticed Aqua, Riku, and Mickey approach them. The others were already standing by the side with curious eyes, especially Ventus. Vanitas could tell he wanted to walk up to them, either to chat or share some tips, but thankfully he knew better and kept his distance. While the fight ahead was a nice distraction, Vanitas' already poor patience was running even thinner with the distant throb in his skull.

Much like the day before Aqua stepped forward, taking the lead as the master of the castle. “Good morning everyone! Hope you had a nice rest on your first night.” She offered them a kind smile and, standing so close to the girls, Vanitas even got a bit of the warmth from it directed at him as well. “Sorry for the early hour, but maybe sparring on an empty stomach is a bit better until you know your limits. I don't want any of you to get sick.”

Vanitas crinkled his nose at the mere thought. Unfortunately he was used to puking, but that didn't mean he thought of it being any less gross. He'd have to admit Aqua had made a good choice for a change.

“I'd like Xion and Naminé to go first,” Aqua said, pulling Vanitas out of his thoughts. Her head turned towards the others then as she added, “I want you to try your luck against Roxas. Even with Naminé's little experience in wielding a Keyblade, it's still two against one. Seems fair to pair you with our double-wielder.”

“Alright!” Xion cheered as she readied herself, a grin over her lips. She nudged Naminé playfully as she summoned her Keyblade while Vanitas trotted over to the sideline, well away from the others. While it was a slight bummer he had to wait longer, he was also a bit curious to see the girls in competition. It was something else if he took part of the battle; maybe he'd spot a few more things they could improve to become worthy opponents.

Plus, he wondered if the Ventus-copy knew how to fight.

Roxas certainly looked the part – his lips tilted slightly up in confidence as he stepped onto the ground, his wide, bright pants rustling as he moved. He wore a white, short-sleeved jacket over it and on second glance Vanitas saw the pants had several layers, too, and were cut loosely around his pelvis and hips. The clothes looked comfy but also left room for lots of movement.

That, along with him using two Keyblades at the same time, were bound to be interesting.

For a moment Xion turned back and murmured something to Naminé. With a sigh and a nod Naminé then summoned her Keyblade – though it took her three attempts to – and she still looked timid as she got into a more balanced stance. It was off in about ten ways, as Vanitas could tell on first glance. She tried to fight and stand like when she used her wand, which was much lighter and overall smaller than the Keyblade clutched in her hands.

“I want you guys to give it your all. We got elixirs and potions here, so don't worry about injuries. That doesn't mean you should aim to kill though,” Aqua spoke, voice loud on the otherwise silent space, and Vanitas felt inclined to audibly snort just to faze her. However she already stretched out a hand, glanced briefly at both sides, and swung it up into the air with a loud 'Begin!'.

Xion instantly charged forward, just like Roxas who called his two Keyblades on the run, and they met in the middle with a clang. Smirking Vanitas watched as Roxas got briefly out of balance, as if he didn't expect Xion to push so hard, and his expression was mirrored by her when she readjusted her weight and rolled to Roxas' side before swinging her Keyblade.

He blocked the blow in the very last second, but Vanitas had to admit the attempt was good. If Roxas' reaction had been slower, Xion would have caused quite the damage with the attack.

However she still had ways to go – and so she could do little but deflect when Roxas drove her back with a series of swings, so powerful their Keyblades rang when they got into contact. Although they were both good fighters, Roxas seamed more seasoned at wielding. He arched the blades this way and that way in perfect union, like extensions of his arms, and while Xion gave her all she could barely keep up.

But while those two were heavily engaged in the fight, Naminé just stayed back. Vanitas made sure to glare when their eyes met, if only to increase the pressure on her. Just like the first few times she decided to back away instead of joining in the battle, too afraid or timid or _whatever_ to fight even though they would get perfectly healed afterward. It rubbed him in all the wrong ways, more so when Xion cried out when Roxas hit her in the side, her stamina running out under the steady flow of attacks.

“What the fuck are you _doing_?!” he eventually yelled, lips pulled in a snarl and fingers digging painfully hard into his biceps. Instantly Naminé flinched and stared at him, eyes wide and unblinking, which only annoyed Vanitas more. He bared his teeth a little more when Xion gave another yell, and finally, _finally_ Naminé reacted.

Lips pressed to a tight line she charged forward as well and, instead of using her magic, swung at Roxas with her Keyblade. The action was odd enough to draw his attention, which Xion used to deliver a blow at his stomach that send him back ever so slightly. Since the distance was finally enough Naminé followed up with a Blizzara that froze him a little, then she quickly cast a Cure and Haste to get Xion back in shape.

“There you go,” Vanitas grumbled under his breath, relaxing ever so slightly. Not that he was worried; he just wanted them to win and deliver something the lights could gape at. After all, Riku and Mickey knew they had been training for a while already. If they looked weak, Vanitas did in return, too, and he'd be damned if he let Aqua and the other lights not think of him as a threat.

Unfortunately Roxas was a rather worthy opponent. His stance was bad, though not as bad as Xion's used to be, however he obviously had little issues fighting two people at the same time. He did turn a bit more serious once Naminé popped in though, as if he realized they could very well kick his ass as a team. However he seemed to know that, too, and focused his attacks on Naminé next.

Not a minute later her Keyblade flew out of her hands as she yelled and fell, hard, into the dust.

Even from the distance Vanitas could tell the hit had been painful, but nothing that would break bones. Probably just a bruise, if a rather large one, and that seemed acceptable for a sparring match. But still Roxas looked positively _shocked_ at having knocked her off her feet and Aqua was at her side in an instant, helping Naminé stand. The other lights had flinched as well, even Riku and Mickey, although those two only looked a bit concerned rather than actually _worried_.

“Okay, I think we got enough of an impression,” Aqua finally said, breaking the silence on the training field. Xion hummed, just a bit deflated – Vanitas could tell she had been enjoying herself – and Roxas still had his teeth gritted as guilt filled his heart. It was so _ridiculous_ Vanitas didn't even _think_ about leeching it off, despite the dark feeling calling out to him.

He was still observing the scene with disgust written all over his face when a hand patted him on the back twice. “Come on. We're up next,” Riku said, just loud enough for Vanitas to hear him.

However when Vanitas didn't instantly move to follow – he was quite a bit baffled about the we-part – Riku looked back at him over his shoulder with a smirk. “What? I thought you'd be overjoyed at the chance to beat me up.”

He was, but Vanitas wasn't going to rub that into his face.

Instead he cleared his throat slowly before replying, “I'm darkness. I can't experience joy.” Then he started for the middle of the training field, careful to appear bored although his fingers tingled. From what he heard and saw, Riku was pretty strong among the lights and he was excited to fight him. What kind of techniques would he use? From the built Vanitas figured he'd be a little like Terra, focusing on physical strength, then again he hung out with Mickey a lot who was more on the magical side.

In any case, Vanitas was determined to go all out for the win if he had to.

“Yeah, Van-Van! Kick him in the butt!” Xion cheered enthusiastically as Vanitas got into his stance and summoned Void Gear.

“Hey, you could root for your master a little,” Riku complained, but the smile on his face suggested he was merely teasing. He even shook his head when Xion blew him a raspberry with a giggle. In a bright flash his Keyblade appeared in his hand, the same solid piece he wielded in Radiant Garden. “You mustn't hold back. Braveheart and I can handle anything you throw at us.”

“We'll see about that.” A sneer curled over Vanitas' lips as he tensed his muscles briefly. If Riku was stupid enough to challenge him so blatantly, he was going to deliver.

In less than a heartbeat he launched at Riku. The very last moment he swung his Keyblade, Braveheart, forward and parried Void Gear. He grunted at the pressure Vanitas put behind his blow and although he was almost a head shorter he managed to push Riku back half a step. But then he shifted his weight, aiming to have Vanitas slide passed him, but he saw through the trick and jumped back before Riku could hit. He charged right back in though, attacking Riku from different angles and hardly giving him time to breathe.

Much like Vanitas expected, his bulkier body made him slow. It was also quite... disappointing as a whole. For all the talk and information, Riku was frustratingly weak. He could withstand most of Vanitas' attacks alright, but that was about it. As long as Vanitas kept his eyes on him and minded his footwork, the great master of the lights wouldn't get even close enough to brush his hair. So much for going-

Suddenly Riku cast a Fire-spell – with darkness embedded in it. Vanitas realized that almost too late, the flames reaching for his feet dangerously close, and he gritted his teeth as he brought some much needed distance between them. By the time the Dark Fira wore off and he whipped his head up, he could do little other than watch was Riku lifted Braveheart up in the air, darkness engulfing his body, and vanished.

“Oh fuck m-” Even before Vanitas could finish he sensed the presence close by and side-stepped, Riku's blade hissing as it flew by closely followed by his body. But then he disappeared in a black cloud again, only to reappear in front of Vanitas for another charge in.

“That's cheating!” Vanitas growled as he sidestepped and swung for Riku, but he phased away long before Void Gear could hit. During his next attempt Riku appeared right behind him, his foot connecting so hard with Vanitas' side the air knocked out of his lungs with a gasp. He managed to roll out of the way and supported his upper body with his Keyblade against the ground, one eye pressed shut as his other hand pressed down on his side. “Why can you use the darkness?!” he barked, rage flaring in his chest as Riku straightened a couple of feet away from him with a smug smile on his lips.

He rolled the shoulder on the side he held Braveheart before getting back into his battle stance. “There's quite a few things you don't know about me,” he said, the smile turning into a small smirk. “If you like, I'll tell you about it sometime.”

“Screw you!” Vanitas roared as he ran back in, a ball of black fire curled around his free hand. He felt oddly betrayed by Riku's reveal; light and darkness were meant to clash and war wherever they met. Lights were meant to stay with lights, not stand next to those who used the darkness.

Vanitas knew only little alright, Master Xehanort doing a great job at keeping him isolated and oblivious most of his existence, but even _he_ knew it was downright unnatural for light and darkness to coexist.

Because, if it was possible... why did he have to stay in the Badlands while Ventus got his happily ever after once they separated? Why didn't they take him in, too?

Rage and envy blinding him, Vanitas found himself laying the dust after a few more attacks. Riku towered over him, the tip of his Keyblade hovering right before his face. The mirth had completely disappeared from his face – instead he glanced down with stern eyes and a straight mouth.

“You need to keep a cool head in battle,” he explained with a calm yet unyielding voice. “It's good to use your emotions when fighting, but if they get the better of you you give your opponent an invitation to strike.” Slowly Riku lowered Braveheart and held his free hand out instead. “Control the darkness in your heart, not the other way round.”

Growling Vanitas slapped the hand away and rose on his own. Who did Riku think he was, lecturing _him_ of all people about darkness? Besides, if it weren't for the damn shackles on his wrists and ankles, the fight would have turned out differently. Phasing wasn't quite as effective when _both_ used it.

For a moment he considered summoning Void Gear and stab Riku's back, but his pride held him back. If Vanitas struck him down like that, the win would be empty and meaningless. No... defeating Riku while he was so clearly handicapped would be much more fulfilling.

He barely stamped to the sidelines as Aqua shoved an elixir into his hands. “Please use this to recover before the next match,” she said with a blank face.

Vanitas arched an eyebrow, but broke off the top and drank it anyway. “What kind of match?” he asked, making a face at the taste of the item. He never had an elixir before and, frankly, Vanitas doubted he'd ever take another unless he was truly desperate.

“Since you guys fought pretty well together at Radiant Garden, I suggested a three-against-three, too,” Mickey explained with one of his gentle smiles on his face.

Oh great. Just what Vanitas needed after the humiliating defeat – _a group activity_.

But then he saw Ventus, of all people, walk toward the ring and instantly his sour mood lifted. Terra and Axel were right at his heels and flanked him, however Vanitas found it surprisingly easy to tune them out. He sneered openly when Aqua gave Ventus a worried once-over before glaring at him instead. At the downright pitiable attempt of intimidation he considered winking at her, but before he could act Mickey added a line that made him groan.

“Remember, it's a team-fight. When one member loses their Keyblade, the other party wins.”

Vanitas had a close guess _who_ the other team would target and gave Naminé a pointed glare, however didn't say anything. Terra and Ventus were dense enough to, _maybe_, not figure out she was the weakest of their group, but he couldn't really grasp Axel just yet. If they were lucky he was just as stupid as the other two, but Vanitas never considered odds being in his favor though.

And just as he expected, Axel charged right at Naminé as soon as Aqua gave the signal to begin.

With gritted teeth he cut him off, snarling back at Naminé as she insecurely held her Keyblade to her chest. “Fucking useless,” he muttered under his breath as he shifted his weight and pushed Axel away, further driving him back with a black Thunder. He wanted to absorb the insecurity from Naminé, if only to get her _moving_, but before Vanitas could even start he already had to fight off Terra. From what he could see Xion was busy with Ventus; she chased him across the field, however he was too damn fast on his feet for her to catch properly up.

Grinding his teeth Vanitas swung Void Gear with a yell, chopping on Terra who tried to withhold his blows. Through the corner of his eye he saw Axel approach again, flames gathering around his Keyblade as he aimed for Naminé with a confident grin on his lips. Then he sensed a gush of wind from the other side and only looked over in time to watch Ventus take off with one of his annoying Aero-spells.

Anger pooled in the bottom of his stomach, mixed with frustration and impatience, and though Vanitas swung his arm vigorously he could hardly break through Terra's defense, which only made the anger morph into white, hot _fury_.

With a grunt Vanitas channeled his wrath and instantly two Buckle Bruisers popped up, one already swinging at Axel who gave a surprised squeak.

If Riku could cheat before, so could he. Vanitas wondered how confident they'd be with a few Unversed mixed into the battle.

He sensed his Bruisers took a stand by Naminé's side, almost like guarding her, and a growl left his lips as he pushed harder against Terra and, with a Dark Fire aiming at his flank, Vanitas finally broke through and sent him flying back with a kick. Unfortunately he still held onto his Keyblade, though Vanitas wasn't exactly complaining.

After all the built up, relieving some steam was _much_ appreciated.

With the Unversed at her sides, Naminé finally snapped out of it and actually cast a Haste on Vanitas before she dished out a Thundara at Ventus, almost shooting him out of the sky.

“Xion!” Vanitas barked. The moment their eyes met he nodded his head toward Ventus and she immediately caught on and jumped high into the air, swinging at him. Ventus had to get lower to dodge and, while he was relatively far away still, the Haste sped Vanitas so up he crossed the distance in a heartbeat, jumped as well, and kicked him hard enough in the ribs for them to crunch under his leg.

That could have been it, but before Ventus crashed into the dust, Terra caught him with a shout of his name.

On the other hand... that meant Vanitas got to drag it out a little more.

“Keep them together,” he murmured, just loud enough for Xion to hear him. A red miasma covered her body and her nod came off much faster than usual, testimony of the Haste cast on her. “Back us up!” Vanitas called out as he charged in, the chill of a Blizzard flying by his side as Naminé followed his instructions, too.

Xion zeroed on Axel, a similar grin on her lips as when she sparred against Roxas, and oddly enough Axel fell into an easy rhythm with her as they swung their Keyblades. That left Vanitas with the other two, although he had a Buckle Bruiser by his side. He purposefully attacked Terra, knowing Ventus would instantly try to help him out and get just as beaten. It was easy to sidestep Terra's attacks – he was just as slow as he used to, all muscle and zero agility – so Vanitas had more than enough force left whenever he launched at Ventus instead.

And damn wasn't it _exhilarating_ to hear his grunts of pain and watch his agonized grimace. The attacks lacked the usual bite, understandable since Vanitas did in fact not aim to kill him, but it certainly had something to 'spar' with Ventus. He got to use him as a punching-bag all he wanted while never having to fear any consequences, Aqua's stink-eye aside. Hell, Ventus was such a damn pleaser, he might _crawl back for more_ once they were done. As if he thought they'd be off on better terms once Vanitas took all his frustration out on him.

Oh, little Venty-Wendy was in for the _very_ long howl.

However once the first Buckle Bruiser fell, accompanied by a sharp spark of agony, Vanitas decided he had enough for one morning. The Haste still worked, but would undoubtedly wear off in the near future, and while he decided it was time to end the match he still wanted to leave it as the winner.

When Terra clashed into him next, Vanitas used the momentum to throw himself several feet back. “Naminé,” he called and she instantly turned her head to him in full alert. He met Naminé's eyes silently, only lifted his free hand as black lightning crackled from his fingers.

Drawing in a deep breath Naminé tensed her body, Keyblade held securely in both hands as she slid her eyes closed – only to tear them back open with a shouted 'Waterga'.

The spell was directed at the sky and after a moment water came pouring down like heavy rain, soaking the entire training area in the matter of seconds. Some puddles built on the ground as well, like tiny lakes, and Vanitas sent his remaining Buckle Bruiser a command to which it tossed it's shield out, aimed directly at the spot where Xion and Axel were currently engaged with their blades interlocked. The moment they jumped apart he let the trap snap shut:

Thrusting Void Gear forward he sent a wave of black lighting bolts at the water around them. He missed a few spots, unlike Naminé when they fought at Radiant Garden, but the way Terra and Ventus spasmed and the surprised cry from Axel a bit further off were clear proofs the technique worked.

As they crouched, momentarily stunned, Vanitas kicked himself off the ground in a great arch, Void Gear lifted high above his head as he aimed for Ventus. Maybe, if he pretended to have slipped, he might even get away with knocking him out cold. He just wanted to hit his Keyblade... and, unfortunately, accidents happen even during a friendly spar.

It was difficult keeping the grin off his face though.

Unfortunately – however not entirely surprising, if Vanitas was honest with himself – his attack never reached Ventus. Just an inch or two before his Keyblade would have collided with his head and shoulder the gravity suddenly shifted, locking him in place as he hovered off the ground and slowly spun in mid-air.

A growl rumbled in his throat as he glared at the sidelines, eyes narrowing a little further when they settled on Aqua and her lifted Keyblade. “That was quite enough,” she said, voice cold like her Blizzard-magic. Still she was careful as she moved Vanitas through the air before setting him down, a bit away from the electrified puddles of water. In a similar manner she got Terra, Ventus, and Axel out as well while Riku handed them elixirs.

If he wasn't so annoyed about being denied his final blow, Vanitas might have been a bit fascinated on how the item didn't only recharge them but also took care of the stun.

“Oh yeah! We _totally_ owned you guys!” Xion cheered as she rushed up at the group. Giggling she nudged Axel on the arm, a broad grin stretched across her face.

Axel shoved her back, his bottom lip jutted out in a pout. “Oh come on. Vanitas totally cheated with those- whatever it was he summoned there.” He waved his hand a little in emphasis, although his voice sounded rather whiny than actually upset.

“Well, Van-Van is amazing like that. Besides,_ I_ was the one kicking your ass exclusively afterward.” She braced her hands on her hips and tilted her chin up, her grin morphing into a sneer that was strikingly familiar to Vanitas'.

However his moment of pride was cut short when Roxas joined the gathering, arms crossed before his chest as he fixed Vanitas with a scrutinizing stare. “What _were_ those things, anyway? They didn't look like Heartless or Nobodies. They were also different from the things you summoned at Radiant Garden.”

Xion opened her mouth to reply, but before a word came out she quickly glanced over at Vanitas. “Those are called Unversed,” she carefully started, voice timid and controlled like rarely before.

“Which means?” Roxas pressed on and Vanitas detected a bit of worry in his heart. It lacked the spike of fear, although they were very similar.

Vanitas couldn't help but stir it up a little, if only to see how far it would develop.

“They are manifests of my emotions,” he explained with a sneer before he absorbed the remained Buckle Bruiser back into his body, “And as such they bow to my will and command.”

Roxas easily held his stare, though his eyes twitched a little. “They sure look monstrous for being bits of _your_ emotions,” he commented, arms uncrossing and hands burying in the pockets of his thin jacket instead.

Vanitas' lip twitched before he could stop himself. “Anything you wanna _say_, little light?”

The air was crackling with tension as they, ever so briefly, stalked toward each other. He didn't miss the implication Roxas made and the look in his eyes – the same gauging glance Vanitas always received when people realized just what a freak he actually was. And while he grew used to it, it never failed to rub him in all the wrong ways.

Before the situation escalated though Riku stepped forward, just standing so he was between them. “I suggest we all head for breakfast now. It's getting late.” He wore a neutral expression as he said that, although his eyes remained sharp and alert.

How annoying... Riku turned far too good at reading the mood already. Damn spoilsport.

At least Aqua wasn't too overly pissed – in fact, she even remarked their team-work was pretty smooth although questionable violent at times, and against his will Vanitas found himself anticipating the next sparring session all too eagerly.

\----------------------------------------------

For how posh the castle was, the interior was unexpectedly dismal. Barely any furniture along the countless corridors, or anything else beside windows and lights really. Even doors were scarce as they headed down the corridor to wherever Riku was leading them.

“Where are we going?” Xion eventually asked, arms crossed behind her back as the curiosity got the better of her.

Riku uttered a faint chuckle. “You'll see,” he promised as he looked down at her before throwing a glance back over his shoulder at Vanitas. “We're almost there though. Just a little longer.”

“Whatever,” Vanitas replied with a huff. The walk helped feeling less bloated after the overloaded breakfast. Usually he didn't eat that much, but Terra had made some scrambled eggs and Axel had conveniently mentioned you could spice those with chili-flakes, too... and well. Vanitas never really saw the point in holding back. The third plate seemed like a bad idea afterwards, but he'd live.

Eventually Riku turned around a corner and passed through open twin-doors – and Vanitas' eyebrows nearly touched his hairline at the sight.

“Welcome to the library of the Land of Departure,” Riku solemnly announced as he headed deeper into the hall. Shelves, so high they reached all the way up to the ceiling, covered most of the walls as well as several islands throughout the room. Once in a while a row of tables and seats broke the endless flow of books, but Vanitas was instantly intrigued anyway. He had never seen such a mass of pure knowledge collected at one spot.

“Are those really _all_ different books?” he asked, his eyes darting over the several shelves.

“Some might have more than one copy for the students, but essentially, yes.” Calmly Riku headed to one of the tables and leaned his hip against it, arms crossed before his chest as he studied Vanitas and Xion. “Since most of the afternoons are free of lessons, I figured we might built our main base in here.”

Humming lowly Xion tilted her head to the side. “Base for what?”

“Well...” Ever so briefly Riku swallowed. “You both are pretty practiced in the physical aspect of Keyblade wielding, so I figured we should focus on training your spirits at this point.” He paused there, his eyes locking with Vanitas' for a moment. “There's still a lot to learn for myself, too, and since we're gonna stick around Aqua prompted I teach a class as well. I hoped you could help me with the preparations while Xion improves her writing and reading skills.”

Vanitas pointedly ignored her pitiable whine and, instead, stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his jacket with narrowed eyes. “And why would I do that?”

“Figured you'd like the topic,” Riku easily replied, even went as far as carrying a smirk on his lips. “'Learn about your darkness and how you can use it'.”

When Vanitas snorted and Xion gasped, he explained, “I might be a master, but there is only so much I archived so far. However if there is one thing I know about, then it's how it feels when you struggle with the darkness in your heart and how difficult it is to accept that part of yourself.” Absently he uncrossed his arms and instead laid a hand onto his own chest.

A cackle burst from Vanitas' lips. “Oh boo-hoo,” he mocked with a sneer, “In case you haven't noticed, _Master_, I'm pretty comfortable with my darkness. It's _you_ _lights_ who disavow that part of yourselves.”

“You're right.” While, for a moment, Riku's face had carried a hint of vulnerability before it shifted back into his self-assured, controlled expression. “I think some of us still struggle with the darkness in their hearts, maybe even fear it. I thought if I created a safe room for them to use it they'd be more comfortable to at least _try_ to face it.”

A dark eyebrow arched as Vanitas listened to the words, his mind already putting the pieces together. “So you want me to absorb the excess darkness in the process.”

“Pretty much,” Riku confirmed, voice calm and neutral. “You'd be able to get your fill while the others could practice.”

“The Master wants to use his apprentice. What a surprise.” Lips pulled back in a snarl Vanitas clenched his hands into fists, hidden beneath the cloth of his jacket. He didn't bother to hide the disgust at the idea, though he hoped Riku would be more taken aback by his reply. Instead he just leaned on the table, arms back in their crossed state before his chest.

“I won't force you,” he said, neither apologetic nor defensive. “Of course I'd be happy if you joined the class, but the decision is entirely up to you. You certainly don't need any more guidance at using the darkness as it is.” With that Riku walked around the table and motioned Xion to sit down before he pulled a stack of papers closer. Quietly he talked to her, probably explaining what kind of tasks she had to solve, but Vanitas was too busy to pay them any attention.

The offer had more than one catch, of that he was sure. While Riku left the decision up to him, Vanitas wasn't oblivious enough to miss the attempt of manipulation coming with it. It all but _screamed_ Mickey, albeit less refined. But what was the true intention behind having him around? Riku must have realized that absorbing more darkness made Vanitas stronger by the end of the day.

Mind still working overtime he watched as Riku rose from the table and headed to one of the bookshelves further back. Vanitas followed him with his eyes until he was out of sight, still stewing in his own thoughts, but furrowed his eyebrows when he saw him return with a stack of books in his arms. He left the pile on the table across from Xion before he went off again.

Curiosity spurring him, Vanitas cautiously approached and peeked at the titles on some of the backs. 'About Darkness and Light', 'Balance of Power', 'Records of the Great Keyblade War', 'Darkness and the Heart'... those seemed mildly interesting. Ansem had a few books about hearts in his study, but Vanitas had the feeling whatever he found within the library was related to Keyblade wielding in one way or another.

… Maybe he could take a look around.

Feet scuffling a little as he moved over the ground, Vanitas slowly walked over to one of the islands further away. Most of the titles he saw had 'magic' in them, so he figured there was some sort of order to them.

While magic was interesting – there were quite a few spells Vanitas wanted to learn actually – he didn't feel like diving right into the topic. So he headed over to the next island, followed by the next and one of the long walls. History, journals, theories on mass... but on the next island he found himself stop dead in his tracks. Eyes glued on a row of books clad in brown leather Vanitas reached out and grabbed one of them, staring down at the title:

The Great Encyclopedia of Keyblades – Abilities, Stats, and Owner Records.

Almost enticed Vanitas gathered the collection in his arms before he made his way back to the group of tables where Riku and Xion sat. If he paid more attention he might have wondered why exactly he was drawn back to them – there were plenty of other tables and spots available throughout the library – but his entire focus settled on the stack of books in his hands.

They noticed him joining the group, however they remained in comfortable silence, only broken by the rustle of paper and the scratch of a pen on it. Completely engrossed Vanitas dug into the first book of the collection, the pages smooth between his fingers as he skimmed over the index and flapped through the chapters. Half of the first book was just about the hows and whys Keyblades were different in the first place while also briefly hinting at another series entirely about keychains and their effects. But as interesting as it was, Vanitas wanted to see if he found something about Void Gear first.

Soon he was through with the first volume and picked up the next. That one was entirely about Keyblades, however he found none that resembled his. The index was filled with the names, but Vanitas doubted it would be listed there; the name Void Gear was something he came up with on his own, or better a title which simply popped up in his mind. He knew better than trust into _that_.

It took longer to check that volume, so did the third and fourth. By the time Vanitas picked up the fifth and last book his fingertips were so dry they itched and his eyes were narrowed to the point of slits. His teeth were gritted as well, grinding harder and harder with every page he turned, and once he reached the last Keyblade in the book he slammed it shut with enough force to make the table shake. Xion even squeaked, startled by the sudden noise and movement, and Riku flinched on his chair.

“Complete record my ass,” he snarled, arms crossing before his chest as he glared down at the encyclopedia before himself.

Vanitas had checked them all. Every single picture, from the first to the last.

Void Gear was nowhere to be seen.

It would have been fine, in a way; the first volume said that some wielders created their own Keyblades. Given the odds Vanitas faced upon his _creation_, if he could call it such, it didn't seem that long of a shot his darkness created a suitable weapon for him to wield. However Master Xehanort's – a Keyblade he _knew_ was passed on for a long time and definitely had owners before – wasn't listed either. It was missing, just like Void Gear.

Silently Riku picked up one of the volumes and read the title. “Where you looking for a specific Keyblade?” he asked, genuinely interested.

“Doesn't matter,” Vanitas grunted back and sunk a bit deeper into his seat. “The stupid series is incomplete trash anyway,” he added with dismay, tempted to light the entire thing up with a Dark Fira.

“Let me guess – there were no records about anything even remotely tangent to darkness.”

Surprised by how adequate Riku replied, he lifted his head and looked at him before dropping to his side of the table. Several books, some open in fact, were scattered around a mostly white page in the middle. Only a few notes were scrabbled on them, the pen laying across the sheet.

Vanitas didn't pay much attention to the time, but they must have been well over an hour in the library already, if not longer. The almost empty page seemed... like a poor outcome considering all the material.

A sigh from Riku made him look at his face instead. “I heard Master Eraqus wasn't very fond of the darkness... but I still have expected a little more than a few super-vague reports and essays on how the way of light is the only right one.” He supported his head on top of a hand, a few silver strands falling across his wrinkled forehead and annoyed eyes. Stretching his hand out Riku flicked at the pen, sending it skidding against one of the books. He heaved another sigh before he murmured, “So much about backing up class with material... figures.”

“So there's more?” Slowly Vanitas put his crossed arms on the table and leaned forward, only half-noticing Xion had stopped writing to watch them instead.

From the other side Riku gave a shrug. “I can't say anything about,” he paused to glance at the cover, “'The Great Encyclopedia of Keyblades', but I definitely know there are books about wielding the darkness. I've read some when I prepared for my exam to the Mark of Mastery.”

“What a load of shit.” Nose crinkled Vanitas leaned back again, eyes darting around the library. So many books, yet there were plenty of blank spots left. “Why would you only get _half_ of a series? It makes no sense.”

Riku was staring daggers at his own stack of books as he nodded. “Maybe Eraqus thought it would be too tempting to keep such wisdom in the castle. Or he didn't trust in the judgment of his apprentices.” He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up.

“Well, Terra sure _is_ too dense to know any better,” Vanitas murmured under his breath, but Xion's giggle gave him away.

“Come on, Vanitas. Don't be so hard on him.” Riku looked torn between amusement and concern, but the sensations were quickly replaced by a stern scowl. “Xion, are you finished with your tasks already?” he asked, looming further over the table.

Instantly Xion's giggle stopped and she swallowed sheepishly before replying, “Not completely...”

“Then get back to them.” The smile Riku showed her was strained and more intimidating than really friendly, but not to the point she bothered to hide the pout on her lips as she slumped against the table and resumed her writing.

That time it was Vanitas who snickered quietly.

“Regarding the lack of material about darkness,” Riku said, catching his attention once more, “I'll ask Aqua if there is something like a collection for masters. I want to check everything here before I borrow stuff from Yen Sid.”

Annoyed Vanitas clicked his tongue. “Just what is it with Keyblade masters hoarding knowledge for themselves? Ansem willingly shared whatever he knew.”

Again Riku ran a hand through his hair, his eyes looking distant for a moment. “There's a saying that goes 'wisdom is power'. Some wisdom is valuable. Some can even be dangerous. Access to certain information can give you great advantages.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his Gummiphone. Eyes on the screen he tapped around and then held it out to Vanitas. “Take the record about Heartless for example. Some are weak against special types of attack or certain elements of magic. Knowing that can turn the odds to your favor or maybe even safe your life in battle.”

Vanitas gave a slight nod as he understood Riku's point. It certainly was a good reason for people to hold certain wisdom back; perhaps Master Xehanort aimed to control and manipulate him even further by keeping everything to himself and only sharing certain bits and pieces.

However...

“Given how light and darkness oppose each other... shouldn't this library be filled with books about darkness then?” He crossed his arms before his chest, eyes absently wandering over to the shelves he checked before. “All the knowledge about light is worth shit when you have no idea about the weaknesses of darkness.”

“I get what you mean,” Riku confirmed and, oddly enough, the hint of a smile laid over his lips. It was gone as soon as Vanitas blinked though. “Well, another approach is knowing and understanding yourself. If you know what you're capable of you can also get a good feel of a situation and choose your course of actions. Works pretty good when you don't know exactly what you're up against.” He gave a light shrug. “From what I got, it seems like a view Eraqus might have liked. Aqua acts a lot out of that principle, too.”

Vanitas hummed as he grabbed his own chin in thought – but then a cruel sneer laid over his lips.

“Or maybe Eraqus knew any better, or why would have Terra and Ventus come out so dense otherwise?”

Next to him Xion all but exploded with laughter, however all Riku gave him was a heavy, _heavy_ sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Gosh, got tangled up writing on some other things... To make it up this chap is much longer than usual :)
> 
> I liked writing the combat-scenes in this one.   
First I thought about making the match between Riku and Vanitas longer, but then I thought it would just drag things out at this point.   
Plus, the idea behind this scene was to give off an impression on how the dynamics might work in the future.   
Roxas and Vanitas definitely have things to settle ;D I'm already looking forward to that moment! 
> 
> Big nerd Vanitas gets access to a library, yay!   
But it's incomplete and biased, so boooo! XD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chap.   
If I make it out of training alive and my wrists stay unharmed, I want to write some more and post a little the second week of January. 
> 
> Until then, everyone!   
Have a good start into 2020 and regards,  
-T


	15. Vivid Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Additional warnings:  
Panic Attack

“Ugh... I have a headache!” Xion complained, so loud and sudden she tore Vanitas out of his focus. The magical energy he had been concentrating to cast a Stop-spell dissolved into thin air, leaving him glaring at the top of his desk as his teeth gritted.

He, too, suffered from a headache... and an about-to pop vein at his temple.

Since they arrived at the Land of Departure a week prior, Xion decided Vanitas' room was the perfect place to do their homework and some of their studies. Although Vanitas spent most of his free-time at the library reading and with, admittedly interesting, conversations with Riku, there were still a couple of hours each day when he'd retire to his bedroom instead. Xion was never far away then, as if she had a sixth sense for whenever he returned, and soon she'd walk in and sit on the bed or the floor. Roxas would join then, too; there was hardly a time where he left Xion's side for longer than an hour. Every now and then Axel was there as well and Naminé used to join once her own physical practice was over.

At first Vanitas tried to fight it, but he quickly gave up. There was no escaping the group of former nobodies constantly flocking together in his personal space – and locking himself in the bathroom 24/7 wasn't a solution either.

“The air is stuffy. Let's open a window,” Roxas suggested from his spot on the floor, nose buried in a book similar to Vanitas'. It turned out he was fairly good at magic – courtesy of Sora being his origin or something of the like – but he only mastered so many spells so far. His frustration sure was a welcomed snack whenever Vanitas felt like leeching it off.

But for the time being, he only wanted some _peace_ and _quiet_. And so his answer came out cold, along with a glare to match it:

“If you want fresh air, go outside.”

Vanitas didn't even have to look to know Roxas was scowling, anger sparking in his heart. For a moment he thought about absorbing it – as things turned out, Roxas' darkness came from both Sora and Vanitas, giving it a sense of familiarity while also feeling interestingly different – but his head was throbbing so much it wasn't worth the effort. He'd rather focus whatever energy he had left to the damn Stop-spell he couldn't quite get right yet.

And all the noise and crowding wasn't exactly helping either.

Just as Vanitas tried to read through the passage from his book again, Xion gave another pained sound and complained. It only lasted for a few seconds however since Naminé knocked on the entrance soon after, which started a whole new conversation between the girls, as if they _hadn't_ last seen each other at lunch. Soon he gave up on the task of studying; there was no point in wasting his energy and worsen his headache if he had no chance to get the spell to work anyway. Instead Vanitas laid his head in his hands, fingers gently kneading his temples in a futile attempt to ease the pain.

The moment a hand laid on his shoulder he flinched enough to move the chair. Half a heartbeat later he glared to the side, eyes narrowed to slits, and for a moment the pain subsided but returned with an even worse throb.

“Still hurting?” Naminé asked, her voice barely more than a whisper as she leaned her hip against the desk.

“My entire existence is agonizing,” Vanitas dryly returned, his eyes slipping shut as he tilted his head away. He vaguely registered a rustling of cloth followed by a quiet 'water' and 'blizzard'. A moment later something chilly and damp gently brushed the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine, but as the item moved in circles across his entire nape a small sigh escaped his lips nonetheless.

He'd never admit it openly, however Naminé was truly skilled when it came to magic. If he tried to focus his spells on something as little as a cloth he'd end up covering at least half of his body anyway.

“Maybe we should take you to a doctor after all,” she quietly suggested, still moving the damp cloth in slow motions.

Vanitas huffed in response. “I'll get used to it eventually.” He sighed again as he tilted his head forward, the cloth settling on his hairline. That spot was just _perfect_.

“Perhaps it's the climate?” Roxas suddenly threw in. He rose from the floor and climbed across the bed to open the window, pointedly ignoring the glare Vanitas shot his way. “We're pretty high up all things considered. If all you ever knew was ground level, it takes a while to adjust.” As he turned back he thumbed over his shoulder, pointing outside at the floating rocks and mountains surrounding the castle. “Ven said we're so high up, sometimes the rain turns into ice. According to rumors Terra slipped on the frozen steps regularly when he went for his runs, too.”

In a flash Xion launched onto the bed hard enough to make Roxas jump with a grunt. “Ice? Really?! Do you think it can snow, too?!!” Her eyes had turned big and bright, filled with dreamy wonder as she tugged on his sleeve.

Roxas gave a shrug as he smirked. “Maybe? And if not, I'm sure Naminé can turn the rain into snow with a spell.”

“You can?!” Xion must have grabbed Naminé and shook her – the cloth on his nape moved jerkily all of a sudden, a bit of the moisture dribbling down the sides of his neck and soaking the collar of his shirt. Vanitas heard someone shushing, probably Naminé, but he was too focused on ignoring the ache in his head to turn around and check. The cold compress helped only so much.

More rustle sounded in the background, followed by the scuffle of shoes and light steps. Blissful silence then spread over the small space, ever so relaxing, and before he could stop himself Vanitas tilted his head a bit and pushed into the soothing contact of the cloth.

“Can I try a Cure on you?” Naminé asked after a while, voice low and timid, as if more noise would spark the ache anew.

With a sigh Vanitas lowered his head onto the table, right on top of his folded arms. “It never worked before. Why should it now?” He popped one eye open and studied her as she, against his doubts, summoned her Keyblade and the smell of freshly cut grass filled the area. A gentle warmth covered his body like water, but after a few seconds the pain in his head resurfaced, just as strong as before.

“Told you.” Vanitas tilted his lip up in a mocking sneer, but all Naminé did was slump against the desk with a crease between her eyebrows. “Why do you keep trying anyway?” he asked before he could stop himself, although his teeth audibly clicked together after the last word.

Damn headache. Vanitas never meant to ask, to give into his curiosity. But it was still so... strangely new, to be among people who cared for his well-being for one reason or another. Not even Master Xehanort could be exactly bothered; as long as Vanitas breathed, it seemed to be enough. Riku cared because he was a sap and Xion thought of them as siblings. As for Naminé, he figured she treated his wounds since he was strong and protected her more often than not, however once they moved into the castle there was hardly any threat out there. In fact, the greatest danger came probably from Vanitas himself. And still she had come and used her magic to ease his pain, even if the attempt was fruitless.

Naminé interrupted his train of thoughts as she replied, “You've suffered from enough pain. So... I want to ease it.” Her fingers gently brushed through Vanitas' hair, though it sprung back into its original form once she let go. “I'll check on the books in the library tomorrow morning. Maybe there's one specialized on healing spells or medicine.”

“If it makes you happy,” Vanitas mumbled back, his eye closing as the ache intensified again. “Try them out on someone else first though. I'm not your guinea pig.”

“Any idea on whom?”

He gave a shrug. “I'll beat up Ventus for you, then you can practice healing on him.”

Vanitas didn't miss how she stifled a giggle. “You're pretty hard on Ven. From what I can tell, he's trying to connect with you.”

“You don't know shit,” Vanitas replied with a low growl, and thankfully Naminé picked on quickly enough and remained quiet. Probably Ventus, coward as he was, sneaked up and sweet-talked to her in an attempt to... Well. _Something_.

Probably Ventus was just jealous since he treated Xion like a little sister while he decided to ignore their bond for the time being. Since they could no longer merge and creating the x-blade was off the table, Vanitas refused to spare too much energy on Ventus. Of course he would never turn down the opportunity to wreck him and he still hated his guts, but he didn't mean the world to Vanitas any more. Taking revenge on Sora... now _that_ was something which ghosted through all his waking hours.

Or mostly, considering the throbbing headache was slowly driving him insane.

“Would you like to rest a little?” Naminé asked as she pushed off the desk. “If you like, I can come wake you in time for dinner. Riku is making salad and Aqua is cooking some pasta with a spicy sauce.”

Lowly Vanitas hummed an affirmative as he nestled his head more comfortably on top of his arms. Food sounded good, although he felt a bit sick. A bit of chili might make the pain fade a little, too, or at the very least distract him from it.

… Maybe he could sneak some in Ventus' food, too. Or in Roxas'. He hadn't pranked them for a while already.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vanitas was floating.

No...

He was _sinking_. Slow but steady, as if he swam in viscous water, however it didn't feel like drowning. There was no burn in his lungs from lack of air as he sunk further and further down. Or was he actually rising? Impossible to tell directions in the darkness he floated through.

Eventually the area lit up – a dull shine came from above his head, purple and crimson melting together beneath a dark veil. He could make out shapes on a circle, hazy and tattered, but through the dark fog covering the surface it was impossible to tell what he was looking at exactly.

Just as Vanitas almost reached it his body turned, gently and fluidly, and his feet touched down on the round platform. Even up close the light from it was dull and weak, making the area just a bit brighter than the realm of darkness itself. Yet it didn't... _feel_ like he was there. The place was somewhat familiar, though he couldn't really put a finger on it.

“What a surprise to see you posses one, too,” a, or rather _two_, voices suddenly commented from the side of the platform. Instantly Vanitas whirled toward the source, teeth gritted and Void Gear in his hand as he readied to strike. Something in him stirred at the unexpected presence – like a warning telling him nobody else was supposed to be there in the first place.

Once Vanitas spotted a figure, clad in a black leather coat barely noticeable in the dim light, he growled deep in his throat. “Who are you?!” he demanded, trying to place the physique. He got a similar coat when Master Xehanort brought him back to fight the lights, shortly before the war. But he couldn't recall someone with the same built, or height for the matter. The stranger was somewhat tall – taller than Vanitas, however only by a little, and nowhere as bulky as anyone else he met at the Organization.

“Who I am isn't important now,” the stranger replied, the overlapping voices ringing in Vanitas' ears. Both sounded familiar, but he couldn't properly tell them apart.

“If you won't talk,” Vanitas growled, his hand clenching a bit harder around the handle of his Keyblade, “Then I'll _make_ you.”

He launched at the hooded stranger, Void Gear stretched forward in a stab, but the body phased away before Vanitas could hit. Once he reappeared he was right at the heels of the stranger, quickly moving across the platform as he swung over and over at him. However at some point the stranger caught Void Gear in mid-arch – with nothing more than a gloved hand.

Teeth gritted Vanitas pushed down on his Keyblade, however it didn't move an inch. Instead he found himself flying backwards, the air knocked out of his body as if he was hit head-on by a Buckle Bruiser, although he didn't see the stranger as much as move. If he didn't know any better, Vanitas would say it was purely his aura that sent him flying.

After a few heartbeats Vanitas crashed against the platform, the dark veil moving a little like fog as he skidded across the surface. One eye pressed shut against the ache he glared up, watching as the stranger tossed Void Gear up and caught it easily by the handle.

“Tools are supposed to _work_, not rebel. But perhaps that comes since you're broken.” He swung Void Gear experimentally before he held it before his body. “Or maybe you just need a lesson...” The second hand lifted and grabbed the far end of the Keyblade, the leather squelching under the touch, and with a sickening crunch and a clatter Void Gear broke _clear in half_.

All Vanitas could do was stare, baffled speechless, as the stranger tossed the pieces away. They hit the platform with a hollow clang, the usual hiss that followed when the Keyblade dissolved missing entirely.

“You damn...!” Vanitas clenched his hands into tight fists, fury settling in his gut, strong enough to blank out the terror that washed through his body when Void Gear was shattered right before his eyes.

“Lucky for you,” the stranger started, completely unfazed as he stretched out a hand toward him, “I still got use for even a faulty tool.”

Before Vanitas could get up the fog around him turned thicker and solidified – to the point a gurgling mass gathered around his body, crawling up his legs and reaching for his hands. Frantically he tried to rub the stuff off, but it was stickier than tar and just as heavy as it climbed up his body.

And then it slithered into his mouth and nose.

Choking Vanitas clawed at his face, more and more of the mass sinking into his body, tasking like ash on his tongue. It spread over his eyes as well, darkening his sight, but he still saw the stranger approach – his golden gaze curled slightly upwards in delight as he laughed maliciously.

It felt like the mass was alive somehow; crawling all over Vanitas' insides like thousands of bugs, and then the burning started, as if the stuff set him aflame and melted his insides. An agony like nothing he ever experienced before took over his body, overwhelming his entire being, and all Vanitas could do was _shout_, shout until he _chocked_-

Despite the stress, Vanitas didn't scream as he tore his eyes open.

However he _did_ yell when he found himself face-to-face with a round, puffy head with small eyes and a snout. Out of instinct he swung his arm around and punched it away, so forceful it flew out of his bed and across the room. Still wound up in the way too real nightmare Vanitas stretched out his hand, itching for the familiar weight of Void Gear...

But his hand remained empty.

The scene instantly replayed before his inner eye – how the stranger effortlessly broke his Keyblade in half and tossed it away like worthless trash. However it had all been in the weird dream only, something Vanitas' mind came up for one reason or another. It hadn't been real. It _hadn't_.

Then why... couldn't he summon Void Gear into his hand?

Unless it had been more than just a nightmare.

The chubby thing Vanitas pushed away started moving with a small groan and suddenly the urge to run took over his entire body. Cold sweat broke across his skin, terror making his bones clatter and heart stutter, and all he could think of was to get away, _away_, _**away**_.

Before he knew it Vanitas stumbled out of bed, his legs so tangled in the blanket he almost fell, but somehow he managed to rush to the open door without slipping. His breath came in shallow little gasps, his chest feeling too tight all of a sudden, and he felt the piercing yellow gaze boring into his back and side and _everywhere_, sizing him up like a helpless rabbit with nowhere to hide.

And then the world tilted, pain exploding across Vanitas' shoulder and hip, and the moment the twisting stopped he rolled onto his stomach and vomited onto the floor. Gushes of tar forced themselves out of his body and landed with a splatter, the gooey mass collecting and forming shapes before it turned into a Hareraiser, a second, then a third, before the flow finally started to subside. Two of the Unversed immediately ran off while the third swayed on the spot, clearly uncertain and terrified, and Vanitas could finally breathe again.

His entire body shook with pain as he slowly pieced together what must have happened:

Disorientated and groggy he made it out to the corridor, but he failed to see where the stairs began and tumbled down the first row before he came to a halt against the wall. It didn't feel like he broke anything during the fall, however he certainly spotted a few new bruises beneath his sweaty clothes.

Suddenly footsteps came nearer from below, rapid and light, and before he could get a clear thought formed Vanitas sat up. His teeth were gritted and sight watery as he launched at the shadow appearing on top of the stairs with a yell, but instead of connecting his blow was deflected with a metallic clang.

“What the fuck is your _problem_?!” the other hissed in his direction, but all Vanitas could do was stare between them – where Void Gear slid against a bright, almost white Keyblade.

“It's back,” he whispered, so relieved he could cry. Weakly Vanitas slumped down to his knees, his hands caressing his Keyblade as he held it close, his heartbeat finally starting to calm in his chest. He still had no clue as to why and what just happened, but with Void Gear back he felt like he could at the very least defend himself.

When exactly Vanitas noticed the soothing rub up and down his back he couldn't tell, but he knew without looking the hand belonged to Naminé. Nobody else would dare touch him such a situation, with blackness smeared across his chin and mouth and a sharp Keyblade in reach.

As he slowly came to, he also began to notice the other people in the area; Xion was talking to Roxas while she held a Hareraiser in her arms. Axel stood right beside them, his hair more of a mess than usual, and asked a question or two in between. At some point Ventus and Terra came up the stairs as well, probably woken by all the noise on the corridor, and Vanitas felt an odd twitch in his chest as the Unversed cradled on Ventus' chest squirmed to get out of his grasp. It even slapped his face with its ears, but Ventus still held on, as if letting it roam around would make matters worse.

Once his mind felt clear enough, Vanitas dismissed Void Gear and leaned back against the wall with an exhausted sigh. The others were still quietly conversing, however Naminé remained at his side while she gently petted the third Hareraiser on the head. He could tell she wanted to ask what was wrong, but for the time being she remained blissfully silent, as if she knew he needed a moment to process the happenings himself.

Unfortunately the moment was cut short as the rest of the residents came up the stairs.

“What happened?” Aqua instantly asked, a low gasp escaping her as she noticed the Unversed. “Ven, put that thing down before it hurts you!”

For a heartbeat Vanitas considered shutting her off with a growl, but before he could act Riku pushed into his line of sight as he crouched in front of him. “Vanitas, are you hurt?” he asked, voice low and calm as he gave him a once over.

“No,” he lied, ignoring the pain in his body from the fall. The situation left him too vulnerable for comfort as it was; nobody had to know any details about it.

“Okay.” It didn't sound like Riku believed him, but he wasn't pushing the matter further. “Can you tell me what set you off?”

Vanitas didn't reply right away. Instead he pondered what exactly he felt comfortable to share – and what he needed to say for everyone to leave him alone. Demanding so clearly wasn't going to help, at least it never did in the past, and part of him actually wondered about their opinion on the fact his powers were apparently all over the place.

However before he came to a solution, a bright voice piped in with, “Maybe I can help?”

As he looked up he saw the chubby, round creature he punched back in his bedroom and flinched, hard enough that Riku grabbed his upper arms with faint shushing noises.

“Chirity? What are you doing here?” Ventus suddenly asked and the creature stirred before it quickly hobbled to him and climbed his legs. Ventus swayed a little as the thing adjusted itself so it leaned over his shoulder as it looked around.

“I sensed an odd presence up here and went to check,” Chirity explained, its small eyes moving as it blinked. “There was a shadowy form looming near Vanitas, but it disappeared when I got closer. And when I went to see if he was okay, he woke up.” It tilted his head a bit, its pointy ears flicking. “Sorry if I startled you, Vanitas. I didn't mean to!”

At last Ventus let the Hareraiser out of his arms and, instead, reached up to scratch Chirity behind one ear. “Maybe you saw an Unversed Vanitas created in his sleep?” he prompted, to which Chirity hummed thoughtfully.

Was he in better shape, Vanitas might have snorted at the suggestion. No matter how horrible his nightmares were – the Unversed appeared only when he was awake and somewhat aware-

“Impossible,” Aqua replied, so quick and certain it caught Vanitas' attention.

… It was one thing if _he_ made such statements. As Ansem once pointed out, Vanitas knew his body pretty well despite all the odds. He may have changed after the incident with Sora, but even then it felt like quite a long shot to state it was impossible for him to create Unversed in his sleep – especially from someone like Aqua, who wasn't known to just ramble mindlessly.

So how could she know?

Now that he thought about it... Even when Vanitas was irritated, he never really had to fight back Unversed when he was in his bedroom. Heck, he only coughed up the Hareraisers once he fell down the stairs at the end of the corridor. And then there was Void Gear, which he failed to summon inside his room but simply manifested in his hand out of instinct when he charged at Roxas.

All things considered, including the quick response, could only mean...

“Something's with the room,” Vanitas grimly hissed, his hands clenching hard into fists. He leveled Aqua with his darkest glare, his lips pulled back in a snarl as his chest burned with anger.

Riku, who had been close to him the entire time, suddenly rose up and started toward Aqua with narrowed eyes. “What did you do?” he demanded, cold fury coming off him in waves. As she remained silent and crossed her arms before her chest, the cloth of her nightgown stretching, he added, “I'll find it out, one way or another.”

Riku waited another minute before he turned away with a shake of his head and a sigh. Quickly he climbed the stairs, one hand on the railing, and he was nearly at the top when Aqua finally caved.

“The room is enchanted to block darkness.” Her arms were still crossed, but now her fingers dug into the skin of her biceps. “When inside, it's near impossible to call to the darkness in one's heart and use it.”

On the stairs still Riku gripped the railing so hard his knuckles turned white. “What have you been _thinking_, Aqua? Who knew what could have happened to Vanitas!” He took several steps down, a hard shine in his eyes as he glared at her.

The corner of Aqua's mouth twitched ever so briefly. “It's my duty to keep everyone safe,” she bit out, voice firm despite the strain on her yaw. “Darkness won't be a threat to my friends ever again.” Her eyes carried a condescending gleam as she glared at Vanitas, and for a moment he could have sworn the blue of her orbs sparkled yellow, but that could have been a trick of his mind.

Suddenly a foot stamped onto the floor, rapid and loud. “Nothing Van-Van did ever _threatened_ any of us!” Xion shouted, her arms tightening around the Hareraiser so much Vanitas winced at the sensation. “Why are you treating him like that?! Why do you set up an environment that _hurts_ him?!”

Aqua gave a huff, but didn't offer a reply at all. However she did flinch once _Ventus_, of all people, stepped forward and took a stand next to Xion and – if he wasn't currently there, sitting on the floor, Vanitas would have _never_ believed that – actually had a spark of anger in his heart. Dark and hot, blazing with a force which shouldn't be possible given the amount of light in his heart.

“I get you're worried,” he started, voice eerily calm although his shoulders were quivering, “But you went too far, Aqua.”

“_What_?”

Was he less breathless, Vanitas might have laughed at her incredulous tone and look of utter betrayal across her features. But as it was he only managed a weak sneer, which Aqua caught nonetheless – and narrowed her eyes at with a snarl.

“Did you forget how he _purposefully_ tried to hurt you during practice?” she asked, her knuckles white from how tightly she grasped her arms by then. “If I didn't separate you with a Gravity-spell, you would have been severely injured. I'm not naive enough to forget what _he_ is capable of.”

Ventus exhaled noisily through his nose. “I won't deny he tries to hurt me at every opportunity,” he said, talking as if Vanitas wasn't even there, “But I'm still here. Vanitas hasn't done anything a simple Cure couldn't fix and only gets physical when we do actual battle training, too. And still you won't even give him_ a fair chance_ to show who he really is.” His head shook, blond bangs shifting in the weak light of the corridor as he sighed heavily. “I'm... really disappointed, Aqua.”

That seemed to finally sink in – her face twisted into a grimace as if she got slapped. “Ven,” Aqua called, impossibly softly, but as she reached out Ventus turned away and instead walked up to Vanitas. He went down on one knee once he arrived, his head dipping low.

“I'm sorry, Vanitas,” he whispered and the anger in his heart was replaced with the sickening sweetness of _guilt_. It was so forceful Vanitas had the urge to turn his head away, but watching Ventus with Aqua in the background was too entertaining for him to miss even a second of it.

Unfortunately it ended soon after the apology; Aqua managed to stand her ground for maybe a minute before she turned on her heels and hurried down the stairs, all but fleeing from the entire group. Only a heartbeat later Terra excused himself and went after her, leaving the rest behind. Ventus stood again but froze on the spot, clearly uncomfortable and unsure about how to proceed after he blew off his _dear_ friend.

Vanitas had nearly forgotten how easy it was to drive a wedge between those three, although he couldn't shake the spark of sick satisfaction at seeing them struggle, most of all Ventus. A little hurting would do him good after life kept making it so damn easy for him.

“So,” Riku said after he cleared his throat noisily, “I think I can undo whatever enchantments Aqua put on your room. But you can also move if you like.”

For a moment Vanitas considered it. “I want to move,” he quickly replied, positive he wouldn't be able to find any rest in that room anyway. Not after his experiences in it.

“Okay. I'll have a room be prepared for you first thing in the morning.” Riku offered him a hand to boost him up, and just to bask in the fact he was siding with him, Vanitas took it and found himself pulled up in a heartbeat. His legs weren't shaking anymore, however he felt terribly exhausted instead. And definitely still too emotionally raw to absorb the Hareraisers back into his body.

“As for tonight,” Riku began as his hand let go, “Axel, think you can share your room with Vanitas?”

“Huh? Why me?” Axel instantly shoot back, though he sounded confused rather than against it.

Riku merely shrugged his shoulders. “You carry darkness in your heart, but you never had any complaints-”

“Van-Van can sleep in my room then!” Xion threw in, interrupting Riku mid-sentence. Before he could address it though she explained, “I got a headache when I was up in his room, too, so I can guarantee nothing's fishy about mine. I'm pretty small, so we can fit in my bed just fine. _And_ we're siblings!” She turned expectant, hopeful blue eyes at Vanitas, the Hareraiser in her arms squirming to get free. “_Come on_, Van-Van! It'll be like a sleepover! We never had one, so this is the perfect chance, too!”

“Xion, I don't think-” Riku began, gentle and careful, but Vanitas cut him off with a sighed 'alright'.

When Xion beamed at him, he flicked her forehead with a grunt. “Don't get ahead of yourself. I only agreed because you'd pester me otherwise.” He rolled his shoulder with a hiss as he started for the stairs leading down, one of the Unversed hobbling beside him. Vanitas was tempted to pick it up, however now the adrenaline wore off in his body the ache from the fall returned. His head was still ponding, too, though that was purely stress related-

The whisper was quiet, but the green glow and the smell of grass still gave her away. Vanitas shot Naminé a dark glare over his shoulder, pissed she once again healed him without his consent, but she only hid her face behind the Hareraiser she still held in her arms. On a whim he snatched it out of her hands, the tug sending a shiver across his spine, and then proceeded on his way down. He heard the others scuffle along, Ventus' steps echoing down the corridor as he went back to his room.

Aware of the dribbles of tar still attached to his chin Vanitas made a beeline for the bathroom first. It was more crowded than his; toothbrushes and cups lined on the shelf before the mirror, several towels hung on the racks, and even a few stray pieces of clothes laid around. However he ignored it all as he approached the sink and opened the tap, quickly washing his face before he dried it on one of the towels. A bit of black strained the cloth afterward; hopefully he ended up using Roxas' towel by chance.

Vanitas had dropped the Hareraiser as he took care of himself and it obediently followed when he walked back into the corridor. All doors were closed except for one, light emerging from the crack, and with another sigh he steeled himself as he approached it.

On the other side he saw Xion frantically search her closet before she threw a pillow onto her bed, barely missing the Hareraiser settled on top. “Ah!” she gasped when she looked up, “Do you need a new shirt? I got some that are too big.”

“I'm fine,” Vanitas replied dryly as he asserted the room. It was messier than his – books and papers on the desk and the floor around it, clothes tossed into corners, and a few pictures stuck on the walls. From the colors he'd guess those were drawings, probably made by Naminé, and some were actually a bit crooked, one corner clearly lower than the one across.

Yet it looked somehow... livelier than Vanitas' quarters.

“If you like to sleep with your head on the other side, just change the pillows.” Xion rummaged around a little more before she switched off the overhead light, the one on the nightstand going up instead. It gave the room a cozier glow while Vanitas adjusted on the mattress, his body instantly going for the edge under the window. One of the Hareraisers climbed up his body and nestled itself next to his head while another curled up between his legs.

The mattress dipped when Xion joined with a small giggle, her legs wiggling as she crawled under the comforter and planted her head on top of the pillow next to Vanitas. “This is so much fun!” she cheered, not louder than a whisper, and the last Unversed yipped loudly as she grabbed it and cuddled it close to her chest like a stuffed animal.

“Just keep your distance,” Vanitas mumbled before he turned onto his side, making sure his back was turned toward Xion. The way she cuddled the Hareraiser was bothering... and he certainly didn't want to experience _that_ first-hand.

“I won't be a bother,” Xion quietly promised before she switched off the bedside lamp, bathing the room in darkness. After a short moment of pause however she added, “You don't have to be scared anymore. I'll watch over you when you sleep.”

Though the room was dark, the stars outside shone just bright enough for Vanitas to see her profile when he turned his head toward her. He doubted Xion could see his glare, but then again, she was hardly intimidated by it when it was just the two of them. However her voice got a little quieter as she explained, “I could feel it through our connection. And when I went out of my room, I already saw your Unversed.” The sheets rustled as she laid one hand onto her chest in emphasis.

Vanitas couldn't deny a bit of... odd fascination at the reveal. He never really thought about how the entire 'sensing' worked; for all Vanitas knew, he had a good feeling for darkness since he basically consisted of it and he supposed the things he felt through Ventus came because of the fact he was originally ripped out of him. Even if he was left with a mere half heart, it made sense he'd still have some sort of ghost sensations coming from the body he once lived in. He also never bothered to wonder why the connection worked only in one direction – it was simply his reality.

And yet... he believed Xion to have _felt_ his terror. It had been overwhelming enough to Vanitas to think it could have, technically, welled over possible links. Maybe that was why Roxas was the first to come up the stairs, too? Their connection was weaker, or at least less responsive, than the one he had with Xion, but given he came from Sora who was some kind of natural when it came to connected hearts he might be a bit more sensitive to changes. Or he felt the stir in Xion's heart and tracked it down to Vanitas before she did.

Ansem had mentioned matters of the heart were complex and delicate, however Vanitas only slowly started to see how _big_ the whole picture actually _was_.

Just half an hour of pondering later he heard Xion quietly snore next to him, her foot tangled between his feet and one hand gently grabbing a fistful of his shirt. The Hareraiser was curled up under her arm, slowly rising with her every breath, and Vanitas couldn't help a little snort at the picture.

“Watch over me, hu?” he whispered with a slight mock, his eyes slipping shut as he finally relaxed.

… If she ended up snuggled on his side though, he was going to kick her out of bed first thing in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Nya, the pace is still so slow... sorry about that. I feel like I just can't get some speed into it without the chap suddenly growing to double in size, and then I'd have to cut it again orz 
> 
> I just wanted to get this chap out of my system before re:mind comes out since it'll likely screw over my headcanon lol  
No spoilers please; I tried to keep myself oblivious x.x 
> 
> But anyway! Can anyone guess the scenery of Vanitas' nightmare? I'm curious ;) 
> 
> I'll try to get the next part done soon... but I haven't even started omg orz  
SORRY I SUCK
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	16. Using What You Got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ADDITIONAL WARNING:  
Drug abuse, kind of; character experiencing a high?

Vanitas wasn't fully awake yet as he already noticed the heat surrounding him. The space under the cover was way too warm for comfort and a certain feeling of...  _ tightness _ overcame him as well. While he could tell there was nothing wrapped around his body, the sensation was still strong enough to make his breathing labor just a bit.

Probably Xion was to blame, the way she cuddled the Hareraiser in her sleep.

Now that he thought about it... Vanitas realized something was pressed flush against his back. Flat and warm, moving ever so slowly and a steady thumping coming from it. Apparently she had brought their bodies together in her sleep after all. But with the wall and window on the edge, Vanitas had no room to bring more distance between them.

To distract himself from the closeness, Vanitas focused on the Unversed he sensed close by and absorbed the one Xion was holding as well as the one by his head. His eyes were closed the entire time, yet he squeezed them more tightly when the wave of fear washed over him as the emotions returned to him. It was easier to bear without the headache and after a refreshing nap, however his heart still leaped in his chest and beat more frantically for a minute or two.

… Oddly enough, the sensation of being crowded stayed anyway.

Releasing a sigh Vanitas forced himself to relax as he actually attempted to wake up. As the grogginess wore slowly off he noticed more details; his feet were stuck against something warm and solid and when he listened carefully he heard definitely  _ more _ than one calm snoring close-by.

After a while and a bit of shifting he managed to tilt his head back – and his breath hitched.

The bed was  _ much _ more crowded than when he fell asleep. Next to Xion a body had snuggled up, spiky blond hair sticking in every direction as their shoulders heaved in perfectly synced breathing. In a heartbeat Vanitas realized it was Roxas who had, at some point, climbed into bed with them. He was laying on the very edge, so close he'd fall off if he so much as turned.

As if he wasn't enough unwanted company, a much taller body sat on the foot of the bed, limbs way too long to fit in the cramped space left. Instead the legs hung off to the side while the upper body leaned against the wall, head lolled on a shoulder and arms crossed before the chest. The red hair hung down more than usual, but was overall less of a mess than Roxas', and if the rays of the morning sun disturbed him Axel sure didn't give it away. His back wasn't entirely lined up with the wall behind him, instead crooked a little bit, and that left a small space between the mattress and his body. When Vanitas squinted his eyes at the shadowed cave he could make out the outline of a Hareraiser squeezed inside it. Unclear if it got there on its own or if Axel simply didn't notice it when he joined under the cover of the night, but for the time being it seemed calm enough to neglect.

However what truly unnerved Vanitas was how he  _ didn't _ notice anything until he was actually awake.

Usually his sleep was so light the smallest noises, sometimes even only a shift in the air, would make him jolt upright. Yet he had remained undisturbed as those two sneaked into bed along with them, even when Xion at some point must have brought their backs flush together. Had he been truly so exhausted he let his guard completely down?

As he kept pondering that thought, time passed on steadily. Eventually Axel stirred, his entire body tensing before relaxing again as his eyes fluttered open. His lips twitched like he held back a yawn and he uncrossed his arms, stretching them above his head as he sighed. Apparently he hadn't noticed Vanitas was awake yet, not even as much as glancing in his direction actually, as he fished his Gummiphone out of his pocket with squinted eyes. With another sigh he dropped his hands again and felt around the bed with one until he grabbed onto something.

“Alright everyone, enough beauty-sleep. Breakfast is due in a bit,” he murmured with narrowed eyes and a yawn in between. Xion gave a discontent grumble as he shook her foot a little harder, making her squirm and complain and actually elbow first Vanitas in the back and then Roxas in the chest.

The contact made Roxas roll away with furrowed eyebrows and closed eyes – and just a heartbeat later he fell out of bed and landed with a thud on the floor. “I'm awake!” he yelled as he bolted upright, hair even more of a mess than usual as he squinted his eyes at the window, hissing at the bright light.

Quietly Vanitas snickered to himself. Apparently a certain copycat was a sound sleeper, too.

He got quickly distracted from his thought when Xion buried deeper into the blanket and latched herself around his middle. “Van-Vaaan, do something...! I wanna keep sleeping!” The whine was muffled by the covers a little, yet he heard her well enough to release a sigh.

Vanitas gasped however when he felt a strange pull on his head.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Axel asked as he held up the Hareraiser which had curled up behind his back. He grabbed it on the ears, the Unversed squirming as it tried to free itself, which made the pull on Vanitas' head throb with pain.

Suddenly Xion sat up, the blanket dragged along, and leveled Axel with a glare. “Stop that! Van-Van is hurting!” she growled and instantly Axel let go, hands flinching back as if he had burned himself.

“Ah damn, sorry! I totally forgot,” he instantly apologized, trying to give the Hareraiser a soothing pet on the head, but his hand got slapped away before the Unversed scooted to Vanitas and slipped under the covers. “I really didn't mean to. Do you need a Cure?” Axel asked, one hand scratching the back of his head as he briefly glanced between the mattress and Vanitas' eyes.

“I'm fine,” Vanitas bit out and finally sat up as well. The moment of peace was gone; he might as well get ready to face the day, especially since he was going to move. He still didn't know how he felt about that if he was completely honest with himself. The tower had a few empty floors left, but what if those were enchanted as well? Riku probably ended up checking the quarters before they even considered it, but still...

A tug on his arm pulled him out of his thoughts – and as he looked down, Xion met him with a concerned look on her face. “Will you be alright? I can go up with you to get ready,” she timidly offered, her eyes so full of worry and sadness Vanitas had to refrain from swallowing.

“I said I'm fine.” Swiftly he moved to the edge of the bed and climbed off, the Unversed wrapping its ears around his torso before he rose. Not once looking back Vanitas stalked out of the room and up the row of stairs, determined to gather his belongings and get ready without being intimidated by the environment.

His stomach was in knots as he entered what used to be his room, quickly grabbing his PGC and a stack of notes before he headed to the bathroom at the end of the corridor. The Hareraiser on his back shivered, its fear amplified by the surroundings, but Vanitas refused to acknowledge it. A few splashes of water, a quick scrub of his teeth, and a swift change of clothes and he'd be out of there anyway.

… The crawling sensation on his skin made him go a little faster still.

In what couldn't have been more than a few minutes Vanitas already jogged down the stairs again, his muscles relaxing briefly the more he distanced himself from the dreaded room. Even the Hareraiser calmed down, at least a little, and by the time Vanitas was on his way to the kitchen he absorbed it back into his body.

He flinched however when suddenly his pocket started to vibrate, a low melody coming from it. Sighing Vanitas fished his Gummiphone out of his pocket, already sure he'd turn down the call, but his thumb hovered over the red button when he read the name on the display.

Before he even made up his mind he already accepted the call – and a familiar large, friendly face appeared on the screen.

“Ah, good morning, Vanitas!” Mickey closed his eyes with a smile across his face.

“What do you want?” Vanitas returned with narrowed eyes. He couldn't think of a reason as to why Mickey would call him up, especially with such perfect timing. After all, he seemed busy enough – just the day of their sparring session he left, saying he had matters to attend to in his homeworld.

For a moment the smile on Mickey's face faded. “Can't keep anything from ya, hu?” he said with a faint chuckle. “Xion posted something about a sleepover with her brother, but I don't really see ya doin' that if you had a choice. So I wanted to check in on you.”

Vanitas clicked his tongue with a frown. “ _ Of course _ she did... Well. Doesn't matter anyway.”

“So somethin'  _ did _ happen,” Mickey concluded, his eyes closing half. “Are you okay?”

Vanitas resumed his stroll and held the phone against his ear. He didn't care much for all that video-call-business and he'd rather focus on the walk than risk bumping into things.

“Okay as can be,” he replied with a hint of sarcasm, “I'm used to getting stabbed in the back.”

“Gosh.” Vanitas heard Mickey suck in a shaky breath. “But if you say you're okay... Just know you can always ring me up, alright? And I hope you had fun at the sleepover regardless.”

The snort was out before Vanitas could stop it. “Woke up to find two more people in the bed than before. But one fell out this morning, which was kind of funny.” A small chuckle escaped him at the memory. Roxas sure let out a kind of high squeak for a guy.

Mickey briefly laughed along. “Bet it was crowded. But sleepovers can be great, especially when you got some snacks.”

When Vanitas rounded the next corner, he spotted Riku on the other end of the corridor. Teal eyes caught him right away and their owner stopped with a small wave, waiting for him to catch up.

“Gotta go. I think my  _ Master _ wants to talk to me.” A sneer curled over Vanitas' lips at the mock, even if Riku didn't hear it.

“Alright. Have a great day, Vanitas,” Mickey replied. A second later Vanitas already hung up on him and pocketed the device, slowly making his way over to where Riku was standing.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Breakfast passed calmly enough. Riku had prepared a few things, but since Aqua excused herself Terra ended up helping him with the food. Classes were canceled as well, giving them all a bit of a breather, although Riku encouraged everyone to still put some effort into self-studies. However Roxas promptly ignored him and convinced Axel, Xion, and Naminé to an impromptu-trip to Twilight Town. Ventus was still gloomy because of the events the previous night, so much so he tagged along. Terra remained as passive as ever, so Vanitas expected him to stay out of his hair at least for the day. He was relieved the others were out, too; he could use some time away from the group and their constant smothering.

Of course Riku was still around, but he was easy to bear, especially since Vanitas could simply walk away on him if he got too annoying to deal with.

However for the time being he followed Riku to his room. He said he wanted to offer Vanitas something to make up for the trap in his quarters and since the tower of the masters was closer to the kitchen they headed that way. Curiosity was the main reason Vanitas complied; what could Riku possibly have come up with?

The tower where the masters lived wasn't that much different from the one of the apprentices – empty corridors that led to several doors. However there were only two per floor, along with what Vanitas assumed was the shared bathroom at the very end. They climbed the stairs to the second floor before Riku headed to one of the doors.

“Nothing too fancy, but please, make yourself at home,” he said as he gestured at the room.

Vanitas fully agreed – the room was plain rather than fancy. However it was larger than the ones they stayed in and had more furniture in it, too. Some fairy lights covered the area around the spacious desk, the surface covered in papers and books Vanitas recognized from his time in the library. But his eyes zeroed in on a divan near a mostly empty bookshelf instead and he swiftly walked over, the PGC still safely tucked under his arm as he sunk into the cushions.

Ah, it was even more comfortable than the ones back in Radiant Garden...

“So,” Riku said, breaking the silence between them, “I wanted to, first of all, apologize. If I looked into your headaches a bit closer I might have figured they came from something other than stress.”

Vanitas slanted him a glare along with a snarl which made Riku raise his hands in defense.

“I know, I know, you don't need a babysitter.” He waved ever so slightly before he lowered his arms again. “But I can tell you've been exhausted. So I wanted to offer you some of my darkness to help you recover.” To emphasize his words he rose a hand, a small ball of dark Fire gathering in his palm before he dismissed it again.

Vanitas tilted his head ever so slightly, his eyes narrowed on Riku as he considered it. He was tempted to go for it; it felt like an eternity had passed since the last time he got a good fill of dark emotions. Upon their arrival he had snacked on Roxas' anger once in a while, but with the growing headache he had neglected the urge more and more. However now that Riku brought it up the itch was all but screaming in his face.

If he went for the offer though... wouldn't he basically admit he indeed felt weak? That he needed to recover?

Maybe Riku only asked to judge whether the enchantments on his room actually affected his darkness in the first place. If they figured out the restraining worked... they might use it against him. By the end of the day he was still an embodiment of everything they stood against and there was no telling if he'd go batshit crazy at some point.

Hell,  _ Vanitas _ didn't trust himself to keep it together in the long run.

He was still making up his mind when Riku walked over to his desk and took a seat, his eyes closing once he settled down. A moment later a whole range of emotions swept out of him – frustration, loneliness, anger. Worry mixed in as well, along with a pinch of envy, and cold fear. The emotions flared in him so strongly Vanitas found himself staring, his fingers itching for a taste even before he came to a decision.

… So what if he looked weak. With so much darkness served on a silver plate before him, Vanitas could do little but give in. Besides, he was curious what Riku's emotions tasted like.

At first he was cautious. Almost gently Vanitas accessed the darkness coming from Riku's heart, only a small trickle hardly worth mentioning. But once the first drop seeped into his being... it was like a dam broke. Riku's emotions were pure and equally strong, something he had never tasted before, and before he could stop himself Vanitas increased the pull until he was buried under waves and waves of sensations. They didn't mix with his own – which was good, or countless Unversed would be swarming the area – so Vanitas found himself admiring them instead. Not in his wildest dreams he expected Riku to carry so much darkness in his heart and he wondered what made him so frustrated, so lonely, so angry. What did he go through to develop such strong emotions? And how was he not consumed by the darkness in the process?

“... nitas... Vanitas?”

Someone was shaking his shoulder when Vanitas blinked his eyes open. When had he closed them? His sight was awfully blurry, too, and he felt strangely lightheaded.

“Are you okay?” Riku asked and his features finally came into focus. He looked concerned, his eyes darting left and right rapidly, and before he could stop himself Vanitas cackled at him. “Your eyes are glazed... Do you feel unwell...?”

Vanitas cackled again, one hand coming up to hold his head. It certainly wasn't pain he was feeling. In fact, he felt almost... good. As if he'd been out on a frenzy and had his Unversed spread chaos and fear across an entire world before Ventus and his friends came to clean up his mess.

Riku heaved a sigh and shook his head, a small smirk curled over his lips. “Don't tell me you're drunk,” he whispered, followed by a chuckle. Another cackle bubbled over Vanitas' lips before he could stop it and he leaned back, head lolled to the side. Somehow it felt too heavy to keep it upright and his limbs felt wobbly, too.

“I can't believe it.” Riku released a small laugh before he leaned closer, his chest suddenly up against Vanitas' face. “Come on. You better sleep it off,” he said as he lifted him up, grunting at the dead weight.

All Vanitas did was giggle –  _ actually _ giggle – and he cackled again when Riku carried him around. At some point he landed on something featherly soft and he turned onto his stomach, arms snaked around a fluffy pillow in which he buried his face. After a moment he fell into a fit of uncontrolled giggles and cackles, the noises muffled by the pillow, and Vanitas only stopped when it turned hard to breathe.

Not even a minute later he already drifted into sleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

He was walking down a long, white corridor with little décor and no windows. Every few steps a chandelier hung from the ceiling with three bulbs on them, and torches adorned each pillar he passed by.

“Come on, this way!” called a voice, male and dark in color, but nonetheless excited.

“Alright, alright,” he mumbled back. His own voice sounded... strange. Older maybe?

“You have to see this. It's gonna  _ blow your mind _ .”

As he looked up he watched the broad back of an adult man move forward, dark hair tied in a ponytail almost at the very top of his head.

“If you say so.”

He followed the man around a corner – and came face-to-face with a dead end. A skillful grandfather-clock stood before the wall, the huge pendant swaying idly left and right.

Well, the clock  _ was _ quite a piece of art, but it didn't exactly blow his mind.

Just as he opened his mouth to make a mockering remark however the dark-haired man summoned a Keyblade, colors dull and worn after decades of passing it down from Master to Master, and directed it at the clock. Light emerged from the tip and engulfed the entire piece, the noise of something unlocking cutting through the silence. Once the light faded a pathway had opened up at the dead-end – leading to a room that looked like a study, complete with a desk and various shelves filled with books.

Carefully he stepped into the room eyes skimming over some of the titles, and suddenly his heart began to race. “Is this...?” he murmured, fingers itching to reach out and pull a book from the shelf.

“A collection of scripts about darkness,” the dark-haired man supplied, suddenly by his side. “I figured you'd be interested in it. It's okay to show you since you're a master yourself, but I'll follow tradition and keep this wisdom away from my apprentices, so don't mention it to them.”

He couldn't help a chuckle as he turned toward the man. “You don't even have any yet,” he replied, taking in his features. The man looked young, maybe in his mid-twenties, his face free of wrinkles but carrying a distinctive, thin mustache. “But once you found some students, shouldn't you grant them access to everything? A true Keyblade-Wielder must understand both, light  _ and _ darkness.”

He watched as the man's dark eyes narrowed and eyebrows furrowed just a little. “It's true we ought to understand both sides, but I want my apprentices to master the light first. Darkness can be tempting, especially for a young, eager mind.” His eyes gleamed almost challengingly, as if they dared him to speak up while also judging him for his answer.

“True words spoken by a real Master,” was all he replied before he turned back to the bookshelf and finally reached out.

The world faded to black then – and Vanitas hummed lowly as he stretched his limbs. A peaceful dream for a change, although it was much weirder than the nightmares. It somehow felt like a far-off memory of sorts... but if he had ever been to such a place he'd definitely remember. Was it maybe something Ventus once lived through, before they were torn apart? Then again, he'd been able to look the man straight in the eye, as if they were about the same height. Short little Venty would have had to lean his head all the way back to as much as see the man's face.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” A chair creaked and Vanitas lifted his head off the pillow, glancing around until he spotted Riku by the desk. “Do you have a hangover?”

“Do I  _ what _ ?” Vanitas returned as he sat up. He'd never even heard that word before, so how should he be able to tell if he had one? If hanging over was actually possible to begin with.

Riku turned around on his chair so they faced each other. “Do you have a headache? Does the room seem to spin around you, do you feel sick?” he asked instead.

Finally understanding Vanitas shook his head. He felt a little lightheaded still, but it was nowhere close to painful. Quite the opposite actually. Why the room was supposed to spin though was  _ beyond _ him.

“Thank goodness.” Riku slumped deeper into his chair with a relieved sigh. “After you absorbed my darkness I thought you got drunk. It never happened before so I got a little worried.”

“You're not making any sense,” Vanitas deadpanned as he swung his legs off the bed and stretched his arms. His shoulders popped nicely at the motion and he felt considerably better. Whether the reason was finally getting a good fill on darkness or simply its purity, he didn't particularly care.

Riku yet again caught his attention by saying, “I'm just glad you feel better.” He was holding a pencil and scribbled something down on some paper as he quietly added, “Seems like you truly have a symbiotic nature to you...”

“What are you talking about?” Vanitas hissed. His eyes had narrowed and he clenched his hands into fists on either side of his body at the tone Riku used – as if he was interpreting some sort of experiment.

Something in his tone must have given away his irritation; Riku instantly straightened on his chair and dropped the pen, his face quickly turning serious as he focused on Vanitas.

“Since the first time Mickey and I saw you absorbing darkness from people, we came up with a theory.” Riku rose from his chair, but he didn't approach. Instead he just leaned his hip against the desk, much like he did in the library when he was explaining something. “I think it's safe to say that, in your specific case, light and darkness have a symbiotic relation, which pretty much means that both sides benefit from each other.” He grabbed his chin and closed his eyes, so much so Vanitas could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. “Sorry, but the only example I got is about the clownfish and anemones. The poisonous anemone protects the clownfish from predators while the fish protects the anemone as part of its territory.”

The frown on Vanitas' face only deepened. “I'm not a  _ fish _ ,” he snapped, his teeth gritted in irritation. He felt a few Floods itch to manifest, but he managed to squash down the urge before it grew.

At least Riku felt just as irritated; he ranked a hand through his hair, messing it up, and the sigh he uttered was heavy and strained. However his eyes fell on something then and his face relaxed, so much so even a small smirk laid over his lips.

“How about we use your PGC? Maybe it's clearer if you read the definition.” Riku grabbed the device from his desk and held it out to Vanitas, who snatched it back with a growl.

“Don't touch what's mine,” Vanitas lowly warned but opened up the PGC regardless. He instantly pulled out the keypad as well, the screen loading as he still tried to make sense of the fish-anemone-garbage Riku talked about. Besides, what kind of name was clownfish anyway?

Vanitas was so absorbed in his thoughts he missed how Riku came closer and nearly flinched when he said, “Hey... Is that really Tron?” He pointed at something on the screen and when Vanitas followed the direction of his finger he saw the disk-symbol he already noticed the first time he switched the PGC on.

“So what if it is?” he asked, his eyes narrowing when Riku sat down next to him close enough to peek at the screen as well. The guy was so big and heavy the mattress dipped so much Vanitas shifted, too.

Either Riku was oblivious or simply ignored him since he answered instantly. “I traversed his world during my Mark of Mastery exam. Sora told me he's a program, but you can interact with him like he's a person. Have you tried it yet?” At long last Riku turned toward him, eyes gleaming with curiosity and adventure, and finally he realized just how much he crowded Vanitas and backed slightly off. “We can start him up, but only if you want to.”

Considering Sora said  _ anything  _ about Tron, Vanitas had his doubts about the efficiency of the program – quite a few people had already said Sora was an idiot when it came to electronics – but since he had yet to start the function he might as well give it a shot.

Tapping down twice on the symbol Vanitas had Tron boot up – and a window opened, nearly as large as the entire screen. This time a disk was displayed as the program loaded and soon enough a head pulled up inside the window. It had human-like features, the skin carrying a blue hue while a strange helmet covered the person's head. It was almost beige in color and had several, bright blue symbols drawn across it and Vanitas recognized a similar pattern on what was visible of the person's collar.

'Hello, User. I am Tron,' came a scratchy voice from the device. Despite the odd color it sounded male, at least to Vanitas, and he was slightly creeped out by how  _ sharp _ the digital eyes looked when they stared back at him. 'Please state your name so I can address you properly.'

After a moment of hesitation Vanitas replied, “Why would I give you my name?”

Tron, oddly enough, shrugged his shoulders. 'As my User, I figured calling you by your name would make you more comfortable. But we can go with  _ “User” _ if you like, or I can make suggestions. How about  _ “Sora's Brother” _ ?'

Eyes narrowed to slits Vanitas was very tempted to slam the device shut, but before he could act Riku asked, “Wait, you know Sora? So you're  _ the _ Tron?”

'Voice sample recognized,' Tron stated neutrally before his face turned slightly. 'Hello, Riku. No, I am not the Tron Sora met. However Ienzo entered several visual information on everyone along with facts and voice samples he previously recorded into my database.' He turned his head back toward Vanitas, the same scrutinizing look in his eyes. 'I can confirm a remarkable similarity between my User and Sora, but also a few differences. So I assume they are first degree blood-relatives. From my User's age, I concluded  _ “brothers” _ is the most likely.'

Vanitas uttered a snort. “I like this program,” he admitted with a smirk. Whoever recognized him as not-Sora already got on his good side and the way Tron analyzed things was interesting, as if he was led by his head rather than his feelings. If he had any, that is.

'I am glad to hear that, User.' A small smile grazed Tron's lips as he spoke. 'How can I be of service?'

“Tell you what. My name is Vanitas,” he replied as he sat up a bit straighter. “I need a definition of a word.”

Tron gave a pleased nod. ' _ ”Vanitas” _ confirmed as User.' He paused for a moment and the screen flashed up, as if something had changed on the device. 'I have found a total of three encyclopedias and five dictionaries in the library. My database is directly connected to them. May I assist with the search?'

Vanitas shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?” he murmured before he shifted his focus to Riku. “What did you mean when you talked before? Regarding some nature?”

Turning away from the screen – Riku had been staring quite intently at Tron, almost like he was fascinated – he blinked once before saying, “You should look for the word 'symbiosis'. That pretty much wraps up everything you need to know so I can explain what I mean.”

That sounded about right, at least to Vanitas. “Alright Tron,” he began and focused back on the PGC in his lap, “I need the definition for 'symbiosis'.”

Tron lowered his gaze and moments later the window with his face turned smaller while another opened up, several words and even a few pictures popping up in it.

'Symbiosis,' Tron read aloud, 'Noun. There are two definitions. One in biological context – the relationship between two different living creatures that live close together and depend on each other in particular ways, each getting particular benefits from the other. Two – a relationship between people, companies etc. that is to the advantage of both.'

The exact same words were in the window Tron had opened up for Vanitas, but it was nice having someone read it out to him. Then he could focus more on understanding the phrases rather than wondering if he pronounced them right. He also managed to understand what Riku tried to express, or got a close idea.

'I can find a few examples for symbiosis for you, Vanitas.' He saw Tron gesture in his tiny window, ready to look up more, but Vanitas merely shook his head.

“Not necessary. Got the meaning down already.” After a moment he added, “You can close the window and shut down the PGC. I have a feeling I'll be busy for a while.”

'Consider it done.' Tron saluted in his tiny window before the screen went dark. Even the keyboard retracted before Vanitas had to do anything on his end.

Maybe he should use Tron a bit more in the future.

However for the time being he had other things to focus on.

The PGC landed on the small table next to the bed before Vanitas turned his eyes to Riku. “You wanted to explain how I'm symbiotic,” he started as he shoved his hands inside his pockets. Something told him he better kept them occupied in case Riku riled him up too much.

“Right.” Riku nodded to himself before he hopped to the edge of the bed and leaned back against the wall behind it. “As I said, that's something Mickey and I observed. We don't have any solid evidence for it.”

“Damn, you beat around the bush  _ a lot _ ,” Vanitas complained, which only earned him a chuckle.

“Sorry.” Riku gave him a small smile before his face hardened, making him look more serious. “It's obvious you feel more energized when you absorb the darkness from someone else. It even substitutes meals for your body. But you already know that.” He leaned slightly forward, his hands landing in his lap. “The thing is, the people who's darkness you absorbed are instantly affected as well. Whatever emotion they felt is considerably weaker. Just to name an example – if Roxas was on a violent, ager-triggered rampage, you could easily stop him without even needing to fight.” Ever so slightly his hands clenched, so faintly Vanitas would have missed it if he as much as blinked. “To be honest, I wasn't sure how strong that ability really is. But once you started absorbing my darkness...” He trailed off with a shake of his head. “Never mind. What I'm trying to say is that you pretty much delivered the proof that light and darkness don't necessarily have to oppose each other. In fact, they benefit from the other's existence.”

Suddenly Riku straightened and the teal of his eyes seemed to glow with certainty as he stated, “Whatever anyone says – we need darkness. And I'm glad you're here with us, Vanitas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> It has been a while, but here we go with the new chap - and professionally betad for a change :D   
Kioko volunteered to help me out, so now everyone has a better experience reading now hopefully! 
> 
> Sleepovers, dreams, and Tron. I plan to reference him in some future chaps, but he'll mostly just pop up whenever Vanitas uses the PGC.   
It was fun writing him and the interaction, but all things considered I wasn't that huge of a fan of the world... and I never saw the new movie either. It just didn't appeal to me and tbh I disliked the world in DDD, even if you got to play with Riku :/ 
> 
> To exquse the long wait, I gave you some drunk!Vanitas. Hope you enjoyed your treat~  
If you wanna talk with me about the story or have questions you don't want everyone to read about, feel free to hit me up on discord :)  
My addy is Taua#0936
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	17. Tick-Tock

Vanitas didn't know why, but it became harder to breathe. A strange tightness had settled in his gut as well, his heart beating strongly and quickly in his chest.

It was a trick. Riku just tried to woo him with pretty words. They needed darkness? He was glad Vanitas was there? Riku, someone who had no sibling-like ties to Vanitas. Riku, someone Vanitas hadn't sucked sadness from to cheer him up. With no obligation whatsoever there had to be a reason for everything he said and Vanitas was taken advantage of enough to know manipulation when he saw it.

It was a trick to lure him to lower his guard. Surely.

Probably.

… Maybe...

Overwhelmed by the warmth and cold circling in his chest Vanitas rose from the bed and stalked over to the window, making sure his back was all Riku saw. Perhaps it was reckless to turn his eyes away from a potential enemy, but if Vanitas had to look at him a second longer he was going to lose his composure for good. At least he was so far away his heavy breathing went unnoticed, as well as the tension in his muscles when he clung his hands onto his lower arms.

He had to calm the fuck down. Then he'd surely realize how reckless, downright  _ stupid _ it was to be... happy about what Riku said. To believe it was true for just a second.

The strong darkness was still affecting him, Vanitas decided. It left him lightheaded and way too responsive to such clever lies. Maybe he even had a hangover and just showed it differently than normal people.

Somewhere behind him the sheets rustled, but he couldn't bring himself to give it some attention. Shortly after footsteps cut through the silence, followed by the piercing screech of a door opening.

“Take your time,” Riku said in a calm, collected voice. “I'll be down in the common area. Just climb down three stories and you'll find me.”

With that he closed the door, just as gently as he opened it, and Vanitas released a breath he didn't know was holding. He was so irritated his skin crawled, so after a moment of consideration he created a group of Floods around himself. Slowly he sunk down until he sat cross-legged on the floor, the Unversed moving all over Riku's room but not doing any damage. It was mesmerizing, their twitches and jerks, the way their heads would title sharply left and right as they got a feel for the area and waited for orders from their master.

Seeing them act out on their restlessness calmed Vanitas' own nerves, slow but steady. Eventually their irritation would just return to him, but for the time being it gave him the chance to breathe around the knots in his chest and throat. Riku must have noticed his stress and therefore left him alone, just like he preferred when the sensations threatened to crush him.

But that also meant Riku knew he was struggling that very moment, fighting to regain control over his messed up head and heart and body, all triggered by his words.

Damn it.

Damn it, damn it,  _ damn it _ !

Vanitas just absorbed a nice helping of strong darkness. He should be in top shape after it and stand high and mighty! He wasn't supposed to be a slightly trembling mess sitting on a hard floor, hiding behind a group of manifestations of his fledging emotions.

Lips pulled back in a snarl Vanitas glared down at his hands, growling when he noticed the little tremor in his fingers. Huffing he focused on it, tried stubbornly to will it away.

“I'm not,” he whispered as his hands clenched into fists, “A slave of my emotions...!”

When he unclenched his hands again the shiver was gone and drops of sweat ran down his temples. Once Vanitas calmed down enough he felt incredibly cranky, especially since it was still so unreasonably tiring to control his emotions in the first place. On a whim he entertained the thought of wrecking Riku's room, but he doubted the lights would let him get away with it and it felt like a waste to use up the bit of power he absorbed on mindless destruction.

The next time he got to leech it off, Vanitas would focus more on it. There had to be a reason a master-wielder of light harbored such potent darkness, however he'd be damned if he directly asked Riku about it. His curiosity was getting too strong for its own good; he needed to act more casual so the lights didn't get yet another opportunity to manipulate him.

A couple of minutes later Vanitas trusted himself to leave, so he got up and absorbed the Floods. The irritation faded into the back of his mind quickly – no wonder, given how his blood boiled with anger and frustration. How could he get so worked up over a few simple words? He was stronger than that. Much stronger. Riku was just lucky he hit home with his little speech.

But that was as far as Vanitas was willing to take it. He'd make Riku pay for getting under his skin like that.

Snarl on his lips he snatched his PGC from the bedside table and stalked out of the room and down the stairs. Vanitas made sure to stamp down his feet extra-hard with every step, although the echo in the staircase left a lot to be desired. It didn't even come close to express how annoyed he was, but oh well. More to unleash once he found Riku.

Eventually Vanitas reached the bottom of the stairs and instantly found himself in a rather large, open room. A fireplace stood on one of the walls, several couches, divans, and plush seats grouped around it. On the back were a few tables and cupboards, a few books on them as well as boxes. The floor was covered in thick carpets, giving the room an even cozier flair, and Vanitas felt annoyed for entirely other reason the longer he looked at it.

How come nobody mentioned such a common area before?

If he knew it existed, he'd have long since tricked Xion and the baggage lately trailing behind her to spend their time  _ there _ rather than bugging him back in his bedroom.

Stupid, selfish masters and their-

“Ah, there you are,” Riku called from one of the larger sofas. He waved his hand over the backrest with a smile, the spiky tips of his Gummiphone poking up from behind it.

Vanitas growled low in his throat, eyes narrowed to slits. What was Riku doing with it? He better wasn't posting something behind his back like Xion did.

Anger flaring in his chest he stomped over to the sofa, ready to snatch the item right out of Riku's hands and throw it into the fireplace or something, when a noise made him suddenly stop. Straining his ears Vanitas focused... There it was again. Some sort of heavy ringing he couldn't properly place. 

Drawn in by the sound he tilted his head toward the source – and spotted what seemed like a corridor on the far end of the room. He also saw bits of white and a pillar, a strangely familiar torch hanging on its middle. The ringing had stopped completely by then, as if the noise just meant to beckon him closer and nothing else. 

Could it be... the corridor from his dream?

Before he even finished that thought Vanitas was already heading down the corridor. There was an uncanny resemblance to the place he saw before, but then again half of the castle looked the same way. The ringing had also stopped at some point, however another noise appeared instead...

“Is something wro-” Riku began – he hadn't even realized he'd followed – but Vanitas cut him off with a hiss before he cupped his ear, amplifying his hearing.

That was  _ definitely _ a ticking.

“Something's up ahead,” Vanitas replied with certainty, although he had never even been in that corridor before. However once they rounded the corner by the end of the corridor, they found themselves face-to-face with an old grandfather-clock settled in a dead end. The same detailed, large grandfather-clock Vanitas had seen in his dream.

He stopped right in front of it as Riku finally caught up. “What a surprise. I had no idea this was here,” he said, if only to break the silence between them, but Vanitas was too deep in thoughts to respond. In fact, he only half-way realized he had crouched down and laid his PGC safely against the wall at some point.

… Was the small study filled with books about darkness also there, right behind that clock?

Wordlessly Vanitas summoned Void Gear into his hand and pointed it at the large thing – but nothing happened. No light emerged from his Keyblade.

A moment later Riku pushed down on his arm, forcing him to lower it. “Care to explain  _ why _ you summoned your Keyblade?” he asked with a frown.

Vanitas shoved the hand off with a snarl. “I do what I want.”

Riku easily held his glare as he replied, “Let me remind you you're currently in the master's quarters. If you do anything here, Aqua will have a reason to justify whatever enchantments she did to your room.”

Instantly Vanitas brought a few steps between them, the fury burning in his heart like fire. “So you  _ do _ plan to restrain me. So much about giving me more room and treating me as an equal!”

“That's not what I mean, and you know that,” Riku gave back with a huff. “Your safety is just as important as everyone else's. But if you deliberately launch an unprovoked attack, every person in this castle will fight to stop you. Myself included.”

Vanitas had an insult ready on his tongue, but he swallowed it down with surprise when Riku jabbed his finger against his chest. Hard.

So hard it even  _ hurt _ a little.

“Being friends doesn't mean I'll put up with  _ all _ of your shit unconditionally. If you're about to make a mistake, I'll call you out on it and try to stop you.” With a last huff Riku pulled his hand back and crossed his arms before his chest, challenge gleaming in his teal eyes as he stared back at Vanitas.

He'd never admit it out loud, but Vanitas was baffled speechless. Who thought Riku could show so much backbone? It didn't feel like it was a lie either, the usual bit of darkness that would usually swing along missing entirely. And, albeit reluctantly, Vanitas had to agree he had a point. If he gave Aqua a reason to treat him like an enemy, she would do so mercilessly. The others would probably keep her from going overboard, but if she was in the right they wouldn't exactly stop her either.

After a few nerve-wrecking minutes, Vanitas finally dismissed Void Gear with a displeased grunt.

Riku drew in a breath he instantly released again with a sigh. “What were you trying to do anyway?” He glanced over at the grandfather-clock. “Is something hidden here?”

“You can tell?” Vanitas asked, perking up. He was still brooding and angry, however the wish to get into the archive was stronger.

“I can sense magic, though it's faint...” Slowly Riku approached the clock and laid his hand flat against the surface before he closed his eyes. “It's a strong spell... I'm not sure if we can even undo it.” He backed off again and in a flash Braveheart was in his hands. Much like Vanitas before he pointed its tip at the grandfather-clock, however this time a shimmer of light emerged from the Keyblade. Riku's face was tensed in concentration as he pushed ever so slightly forward, as if he put more force behind his magic, but after a few seconds he sent Braveheart away with yet another sigh. “No use. It won't open for us.”

Disappointed Vanitas glared at the grandfather-clock as if it offended him. His arms crossed before his chest as he went through his dream again. If the dark-haired guy could reveal the room, then there  _ had to _ be a way to undo the spell. It made sense the door wouldn't open for him, considering the fixation the Land of Departure had on light, however that didn't explain why Riku wasn't able to do it either.

What was he missing?

There had to be a hint somewhere in his dream...

Then it hit Vanitas, so much so his eyes slightly widened and his lips parted ever so little. “I'll follow tradition,” he murmured to himself as he approached the clock, taking in the details. If he was right, there should...

“There it is.” Vanitas grinned smugly to himself when he spotted the engraving on the swaying pendulum; the odd, upper half of a heart pierced on a cross below. The same sign Terra, Aqua, and even Ventus carried on their chests with pride.

But that didn't make the words come any easier over his lips.

“The only one who can open this up,” he said with a heavy, heavy sigh, “Is our lovely Master Aqua.”

Surprising enough, Riku all but  _ groaned _ in frustration at his words. “Are you sure about that?” he asked, hope and annoyance mixing in his voice. Vanitas merely gave him a glare in return, one that said even  _ he _ wouldn't joke about such a fact, and Riku ranked a hand through his hair with a sigh of his own. “I hope whatever is behind it is worth it,” he huffed, already pulling his Gummiphone from his pocket.

A little sneer found its way to Vanitas' lips. “It's gonna  _ blow your mind _ ,” he replied, the same way the dark-haired guy did back in his dream.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a couple of minutes, but eventually footsteps echoed through the corridor, coming from the other end. Only a few heartbeats later Aqua appeared from around the corner with Terra in tow, her expression serious and faint shadows under her eyes.

Looked like someone didn't get much sleep, Vanitas mused to himself.

She gave him a scrutinizing once-over before she turned toward Riku. “I'm here. What is it you wanted to show me?” Her tone was polite yet distant, even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Terra sticking on her like a shadow gave away her discomfort as well, but Vanitas wasn't in the mood to call them out on it. He could always torment Aqua in the future; for now, he just wanted to get into the mysterious room behind the grandfather-clock.

Riku briefly stepped away while he gestured at it. “A spell was casted on this clock. Apparently only the master of the castle can undo it.” His arms crossed over his chest as he spoke, almost like he closed himself off as well.

Despite himself, Vanitas enjoyed the situation quite a lot. Nice to know lights held grudges and that the masters could, apparently, disagree completely as well.

Aqua held Riku's stare for a moment longer, her lips twitching as if she wanted to say something, however in the end she remained silent. Her heels clacked loudly as she approached the grandfather-clock and inspected it closely.

Subconsciously Vanitas inched further away, bringing a bit more distance between the two of them. It was for his benefit rather than Aqua's; he never liked her light to begin with and the backstab she gave him didn't exactly lower his caution.

“You're right,” she eventually whispered and straightened again. She had spotted the engraving bearing their sign as well, though it was unclear what she interpreted into it. “The spell was cast a long time ago, yet it's still very powerful. But I think I know how to clear the way.”

Much like them before, Aqua took a few steps back before she summoned her Keyblade. She held it loosely between her hands as her eyes slid closed, her chest heaving when she drew in a deep breath. Terra stepped right behind her, not close enough to be in the way but still so near she had to notice his presence. Slowly she lifted her Keyblade, the tip lighting up before the grandfather-clock began shining as well until it was completely engulfed.

Once the light faded away, the opening had finally appeared where once the old clock stood.

“Is this... a study?” Aqua whispered as she entered the room first. They all followed right behind her and although he wanted to go first, Vanitas refrained from shoving his way through. If his dream were indeed memories of some sort... he'd rather not let anyone know about it.

“Wait a moment,” Riku suddenly said, drawing everyone's attention to himself. He was skimming through one of the books already, but he stopped and instead gave the covers a once-over. “Are these all books about darkness?”

Interested Aqua approached the closest shelf and picked a book as well. “But why keep it hidden? I didn't know this archive even existed.” After turning over a few pages she put the book back and crossed her arms, although it looked more like she was hugging herself.

Vanitas knew the answer, but he kept his mouth firmly shut. He stirred however when Terra, of all people, drew in a breath and spoke up.

“This wisdom was exclusive to those bearing the Mark of Mastery.” He walked up to one of the bookcases, his hand flat against one of the wooden shelves. “It was a tradition the masters of this castle stuck to since it was built.” Oddly enough he leaned forward next, his forehead resting against some of the books as his eyes slipped closed. His face lacked the usual tension, as if he forced himself to look controlled most of the time, but he didn't wear his occasional smile either. In fact he looked almost... nostalgic.

“Terra...” Aqua's call was so quiet and soft it was hard to hear, even in the heavy silence suddenly settled over the room.

And then Terra pulled away again, eyes a bit wider than before. “I-I don't know where that came from,” he said in a rush. He let his arms simply hang off his body as he added, “Long ago I asked Master about darkness, but he said that's stuff for when I became a master myself. The whole talk about,” he hesitated for a moment, one of his hands actually coming up to scratch the back of his head, “Tradition maybe came from his time in my heart. Though I said those words, it doesn't feel like they really came from me. If that makes any sense?”

“It doesn't,” Vanitas lied through a sneer. Appearances were everything; he couldn't show just how well he understood what Terra tried to say. How he knew the alien feeling of thoughts and memories that weren't his own ghosting through his body.

As expected Aqua shot him a glare as soon as the words left his mouth, but then her face shifted – a flash of surprise, quickly replaced by a grimace of sorrow as her eyes watered up. “Terra, look,” she called, voice breaking, as she dragged her feet toward the corner behind Vanitas.

Out of curiosity he tilted his head back, wondering what caught Aqua's interest so suddenly, but Vanitas only saw a small, round table with a board on top. On two opposite sides stood figures, dark and lighter ones, adorned with shining metal on the tops and around their middle.

Gently Aqua picked up the tallest figure on the bright side and cradled it in her hands. Tears ran down her cheeks as she held the piece close to her chest, her entire being bending a little as if she wanted to curl around it.

Once Terra reached her side, a similar expression took over his face and his throat bobbed when he stifled a sob. Slowly one of his hands came up and laid around Aqua's shoulders, drawing her flush against his side, and he curled in just like her.

As he observed, Vanitas merely tilted his head. What was so special about that odd board? He knew the lights were awfully emotional, but it hardly looked like something worth crying over.

Just as he made a step forward to get a better look – maybe he could make more sense of it when he took in the details of the figures – a hand curled around his elbow and pulled, hard enough to make him stumble. “Hey! What the-” he complained, but Riku was quick to drag him out of the room, not once looking back.

“Let's give them a moment,” he curtly reasoned as he pulled Vanitas down the corridor and around the corner, his grip unyielding even when Vanitas started to struggle against it. For a moment he managed to get free, but Riku was quick to wrestle him back into an embrace and used his larger frame to simply carry him until they were back in the common area.

Once Vanitas landed on the sofa – after a careless toss from Riku's side – he finally gave in with a huff. He wanted to get back into the study, but he figured it was impossible so long the two lights were having 'a moment' in there and with Riku so highly alert.

… Still Vanitas managed to deliver a hard kick into Riku's shin when he walked by, painful enough to make him yelp. The satisfaction lasted only so long though since Riku sat on a plush chair out of his range and idly pulled his Gummiphone out, eyes on the screen.

It was then Vanitas remembered he left his PGC back in the corridor – effectively out of his reach, given Riku would surely keep him from returning there any time soon.

Damn it. He should have snatched up a book when he still had the chance. Now he was doomed to wait until stupid Aqua and retard Terra shed all their tears with nothing to distract himself. What an injustice! Especially since it was  _ him _ who revealed there was a room in the first place.

Releasing a grunt Vanitas flopped down on the sofa, eyes staring at the ceiling while he basked in his boredom and anticipation. What kind of books did the masters keep in there? Was the rest of the record about Keyblades in there, too? If not, what volumes spoke of darkness so much so they had to be locked away?

And what was the deal with the board and the figures?

Time dragged on agonizingly slow as Vanitas tried to keep his mind occupied, but at long last Aqua and Terra emerged from the corridor. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy, but the smiles they wore were brave regardless.

It was still difficult to take them seriously in their state though. At least for Vanitas.

“Thanks for leaving us alone,” Aqua said as they approached the group of seats. She took a spot on a small couch that had barely enough space for two, Terra sitting down right next to her. “But now we need to discuss the study.”

“What's there to discuss?” Vanitas asked after he sat up. He swung his legs off the sofa as he leaned forward, his gut twisting in foreboding.

Aqua leveled him with a neutral yet stern stare. “The previous masters kept the wisdom exclusive. I'd like to follow their example as the new master of this castle – and seal off the room so only Keyblade-Masters can access it.”

She didn't flinch when Vanitas jerked upward, though the corners of her eyes twitched minutely. “That's bullshit!” he all but roared, his hands balled to fists as he swung his arms down. Jerking one arm away he gestured at the corridor, lips pulled in a snarl that showed the entire row of his teeth as he growled, “Without me you wouldn't even know that room existed! And now you want to keep it all to yourself?!”

His entire body was tensed, pulled tight like a spring, as he waited for the others to react. To either accept his challenge or snarl out a warning of their own. In a distant part of his mind Vanitas even hoped someone would summon their Keyblade and give him a reason to fight them for his right.

How dare they prohibit him anything to begin with?

However Aqua merely held his glare and drew in a deep breath. “Master Eraqus kept the room a secret during our entire training. I trust he had a valid reason to do so,” she replied, so matter-of-fact not even her usual malice toward Vanitas came through. He could almost believe she was speaking in general.

Almost.

Before his snarky reply came out however Riku cut him off by standing up, drawing the attention onto himself.

“I have no doubts your master acted with the best intentions in mind,” he started, just as neutral as Aqua spoke before, “However what might have applied in the past doesn't have to work for us.”

Aqua tensed visibly at Riku's words, her eyes hard as she stared back at him, and even Terra seemed irritated as he leaned deeper into the cushions of the couch. However Riku remained completely calm, and for a moment Vanitas had the feeling Mickey was there with them.

“What if we work through the material and decide for ourselves how we want to treat the knowledge?” he suggested while he crossed his arms before his chest. “If anything, we might learn a few things we can use in future battles. Heartless already spawned at Radiant Garden and Sora told me they ran into some in other worlds, too. We can't be too prepared, can we?”

The way Aqua's jaw clenched showed how much she loathed it, yet she nodded her head. “You're right. If there is anything we can learn to fight the darkness, it's worth a shot.”

“Good.” Riku gave a nod and thumbed at the corridor. “There's a lot to look through. Let's start right away, Vanitas.”

Vanitas had been brooding so much he took a few seconds to react – and so he uttered a confused 'huh?' at the exact same moment as Aqua.

Riku however shrugged his shoulders so leisurely it seemed practiced. “Didn't I mention it? Vanitas is assisting me in my teachings. We've been looking for references in the main library without much luck, but this study hopefully has something we can use in class.” He glanced over at Vanitas, his eyes almost flashing while the rest of his face remained perfectly indifferent.

“I guess you  _ did _ forget to tell me,” Aqua mumbled, this time not even bothering to hide her disapproval. “Surely you wouldn't mind if Terra and I join you for a while? There  _ is _ a lot of material to check.”

“Suit yourselves,” Riku easily replied, his arm arching ever so briefly as he gestured in the general direction of the study.

\-------------------------------------------------------

With the grandfather-clock gone, it was hard to tell how much time passed as they sat in the little study reading through the books, but they had been at it for at least a few hours before Aqua laid down her book with a sigh. Shortly after she left, saying she was going to make some tea for everyone, and Terra decided to tag along to move his legs a bit.

Vanitas waited a couple of minutes, sure they were out of earshot, before he too lowered the record he was currently reading. “What was that about?” he asked blatantly, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as he observed Riku's every move.

“Sorry for dragging you in,” he replied while he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Figured it was the best way to get you access to the study. I doubt Aqua would have let you otherwise.”

For a moment Vanitas bit the inside of his cheek. “It was a smart move,” he lowly admitted, fingers playing with the edge of the current page of his book. Even if it sucked, he got what he wanted in the end. And after the taste of darkness he got earlier that day, Vanitas was inclined to attend Riku's class after all. He'd almost forgot how good it felt to leech off negative emotions from other people.

Riku's light chuckle tore him out of his thoughts. “Thanks for the compliment. Means a lot, coming from you.” His lips tilted in a lopsided smirk, a playful twinkle in his eye that sometimes came through when he dropped some of his seriousness. But it was gone the moment he pulled out his Gummiphone and looked at the screen. “It's getting pretty late... and we haven't found you a new room yet.”

Throwing his head back Vanitas released a groan. He had  _ completely _ forgotten about that.

“Unless you want another sleepover with Xion...” Riku prompted with a faint chuckle, however it was loud enough to have a dark glare shot his way.

Sighing Vanitas tilted his head forward again, eyes narrowed on the book in his lap. He'd rather spend his entire time in the silence of the study, reading and learning, than have the others constantly hover around him. Not that he  _ completely _ detested his closeness to Xion and Naminé, but being on his own had its charms, too. At least he could use his position as Riku's assistant to buy himself a few hours of solitude. No fun in class if they knew what was going to happen beforehand, right?

And then Vanitas got the – at least so far – best idea of his life.

“I want to move into this tower,” he declared with a sneer, which only grew when Riku furrowed his brows at him.

“You want to... move here?” he repeated, though he made it sound like a question.

Vanitas just shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?” he returned, almost too cheery for his own taste. He lifted his hands and counted his fingers off as he listed, “I'd be closer to the study, you'd be easily accessible if I'm in need for darkness, the room is big enough to hold my Unversed when I have to let them out... and when I'm near you masters, you could keep a close eye on me all the time.” His hands dropped again and supported his upper body as he leaned back. “Sounds reasonable enough to me. As a bonus, I'd be comfortably far away from Aqua's little family, too.”

For a moment Riku simply studied him. He didn't look like he downright opposed the idea, but there was worry in his teal eyes and his lips pressed a bit tighter together.

“That means you'd be away from your friends, too,” he remarked, his voice a nuance softer than usual, however not in an overbearing way. A tone Vanitas somehow doubted he'd use when he was talking to Sora, though he didn't really know where that thought suddenly came from.

It didn't make the point any stronger though.

“It's not like we're suddenly worlds apart.” Vanitas absently picked on the corner of the page again. “Unlike  _ you _ chummy lights, I like being by myself, too.” He lifted his book again and resumed reading, his interest in the conversation quickly fading.

Even if Riku and Aqua were against it – it wasn't like they could keep him from sleeping wherever he wanted, unless they threw him back in a cell. Highly doubtful considering even little Ventus started revolting.

“Believe it or not,” Riku said from across the study, however Vanitas didn't so much as look up, “but I understand how you feel. We should tell Aqua once they're back with the tea.”

Behind the cover of his book Vanitas smiled ever so faintly. Who would have thought he could get through with his plans without needing violence? Slowly he started to understand why Master Xehanort took such a liking at manipulating people. It was far less tiring and sometimes even faster than just plowing ones way through.

He heard Riku scuffle around on his end, though quietly enough for Vanitas to keep his focus on the current paragraph. However when Riku called out to him he eventually looked up, his eyes squinting a little as his sight blurred. Head slightly tilted to the side he watched Riku point at one of the shelves, a grin gracing his lips. “I think you should be the one to look through these ones,” he said with a little chuckle.

With a roll of his eyes Vanitas rose from the floor, his legs tingling a bit after being still for so long. He hid his curiosity behind a casual stroll as he made his way over, making sure he looked bored at best, but once his eyes caught the title imprinted on the back of the books he couldn't help a gasp.

“Are these...?!” Quickly he reached out and pulled the first volume out, turning over a few of the pages before he closed it up again and held it with both hands. “This- This is the rest of the collection!”

Vanitas didn't even bother to hide his excitement as he swiftly gathered the three volumes of 'The Great Encyclopedia of Keyblades' in his arms and returned to his spot on the floor, Riku's laughter fading in the background. Once he sat Vanitas stacked the books next to himself, his fingers lingering over the hardcover a bit longer than necessary. His heart was racing in his chest as he picked up the sixth volume of the series, a grin on his lips as he eyed the letters of the title on the front. It felt like he found a treasure, much like the kid in that one adventure-themed novel he read in Radiant Garden. Back then he couldn't really understand the character that well – so what if he found a chest filled with gems and gold? – but now that he held the book in his hand he started seeing the point.

To find something after a long search, something he thought he'd never come across... it was exhilarating.

As he opened the book onto it's first page, Vanitas found himself wondering what it would feel like to go treasure hunting. Maybe he'd give it a try someday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> I hope all of you are doing alright. Please stay well and healthy these days :( 
> 
> I wrote this chap a while back, but since then I got a little stuck. Hopefully I can get the motivation flowing again since quite a few mayor developments are still coming. 
> 
> Having Vanitas and Riku interact more is fun, but also hard.  
There is a line I shouldn't quite cross, at least at this point of the story ;D  
Also, yes, Vanitas is a Keyblade nerd and a bookworm. I thought that complements both Sora and Ven a little; first collects keychains like a hobby and second is passionate about stars (aka a nerd of sorts). Both however aren't very patient, hence I don't really see them sitting down with more than one book at a time. Vanitas, too, is impatient - but in other aspects. He's more like, show him a library and he turns into Belle xD 
> 
> Again, hope all of you are safe and sound. If you're sick, you'll get better, and if not, make sure to apply lots of hygiene! You don't need to hoard desinfectant - washing your hands thoroughly with soap when you are outside helps plenty, too :)
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	18. Treats

The world disappeared completely as Vanitas read through the encyclopedia. There were noises in the back, something resembling a conversation, but he paid it not the slightest mind. He was too caught up in the pictures and the few words he read here and there. It sounded interesting enough that he'd probably read the whole series thoroughly, even the books that weren't about darkness, however he wanted to find a specific Keyblade first.

Almost near the end of the seventh volume he finally, _ finally _ found it:

The ugly, heavy Keyblade was pictured in great detail. A whole double page was dedicated to it, the bulgy eye staring back at Vanitas even if it was only drawn on paper. Apparently it was named 'The Gazing Eye', a fitting name in his opinion, although the reason was quite morbid.

Originally the Keyblade belonged to someone who named himself 'Master of Masters', who also forged it with his own hands and added his very eye at the top of the blade. Creepy enough, the eyeball on Master Xehanort's Keyblade _ did _ appear to be normal sized, though Vanitas doubted it was real. The entire backstory seemed more like a legend rather than actual facts.

If that 'Master of Masters'-guy was still around, he'd be hundreds of years old. And seriously, using the connection to his eye to observe whatever happens in the world and write it into a record?

The part about it being passed down from master to apprentice seemed valid though. It made Vanitas wonder what Master Xehanort knew about his own Keyblade – and who he was going to pass it on to. Was Ventus meant to inherit it? Did Master Xehanort plan to give it to Vanitas at some point? Or did he simply use its power, like he used everything and everyone around himself, just to get his hands on the X-Blade?

Meaningless questions which would never be answered.

He was still holding the eye's stare when a hand landed on his shoulder, startling him out of his focus. Vanitas flinched so hard he almost summoned Void Gear, however stopped himself the last moment.

“Sorry. I called, but you didn't answer.” Slowly Terra rose from his crouch. “Dinner is ready. Riku said he texted you about the room, too, so you might want to check your Gummiphone.”

Releasing a huff Vanitas laid the book on top of the stack next to himself, still open on the page with Gazing Eye. Food sounded mildly tempting, although he'd rather stay in the study. At least he could always come back later.

Once he stood Vanitas pulled the Gummiphone from a pocket of his pants. The screen lit up as soon as he touched it, a few messages already flashing back at him. With a frown he ignored whatever Xion and Roxas wrote and instead focused on the message from Riku. Apparently they had discussed matters of his moving – inside the study in fact, but he'd been so absorbed he tuned them completely out – and Aqua agreed to the new arrangement. He was going to share a floor with Riku, which seemed fine enough. They lived wall on wall back in Radiant Garden, too.

Vanitas was about to head out when he lifted his head – and saw Terra standing near the stack of books, staring down at the open page. His broad shoulders looked tensed, moreso than usual at least, and his jaw was set tight. Maybe he was even glaring?

Well, to Vanitas he could do whatever he wanted, but he better not touch that specific collection. He cleared his throat noisily, eyes a little narrowed, and Terra finally snapped out of whatever trance he'd been in.

“Ah, sorry, did you say something?” he asked as he turned away from the stack.

Vanitas' eyes narrowed a bit more. “Keep your hands off those,” he bellowed, putting as much malice into his voice as he could.

Instantly Terra lifted his arms in defense. “Don't worry, I was just looking.” Tilting his head he glanced back at the stack, his expression hardening again. “That's... the Keyblade Xehanort used, isn't it?” His voice was quiet and almost timid as he spoke, as if the words would hurt if he spoke them any louder.

“So?” Vanitas threw back as he crossed his arms before his chest.

Minutely Terra shook his head. “Seeing it brings back memories,” he admitted, just a little louder than a whisper. “This body...” He glanced down at his own hands, fingers flexing and relaxing a few times. “Turned that same Keyblade against my friends more than once. And I wasn't strong enough to keep it from doing so, although it’s mine.” His eyes closed when he lowered his arms again, his hands clenched into fists.

When Terra opened his eyes again, they shone with determination and strength. He didn't say anything, but he seemed to have come to some sort of conclusion Vanitas didn't feel like investigating further. As long as Terra kept his hands off his stuff, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

“Come on. The others are probably waiting.” With that Terra marched over to the door, closely followed by Vanitas. Once outside Vanitas' eyes fell on his PGC, still leaned against the wall, and he moved to pick it up and store it in the study for the time being.

However the moment they passed over the threshold, the room lit up behind them – and once the light faded, the old grandfather-clock was back and the room sealed off.

“Really?” Vanitas huffed out and bumped his fist against the massive thing. In his other he held the PGC, safely tucked under his arm, though he had to concentrate to keep from clenching down on that side, too.

Terra merely shrugged his shoulders. “The spell is probably designed so it closes the door when nobody's inside,” he thought aloud, drawing another huff from Vanitas, which in turn made him chuckle. “I'm sure Aqua or Riku will open it back up for you after dinner.”

Confused Vanitas looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Riku can undo the spell?” he asked in disbelief. Vanitas was pretty sure he couldn't, given they tried hard enough earlier without the pathway opening for them.

Terra chuckled again, louder than before. “Aqua made it so before. When we came back with the tea and the sandwiches for lunch.” A grin laid over his lips, amused and open, and it made his eyes twinkle a little as well. “When you space out you _ really _ space out, huh?”

Heat crawled up Vanitas' neck and ears as he growled, “So?!”

Again Terra shrugged his shoulders, his amusement unbroken. “Reminds me of Ven. He sometimes got his head in the clouds, too.”

“Well, _ duh _ . We used to be _ one person _, though you lights like to forget that,” Vanitas all but spat, every word dripping with venom, and he made a point of shoving Terra when he stamped passed him.

He hated it. He hated being compared to Ventus, even a little more than being compared to Sora. Vanitas came to loathe the thought they once shared a heart and the hate grew with each day; Terra's stupid comment just reminded him of it. At least they lived in different towers now, as far away as the castle allowed, and if that wasn't enough Vanitas had no problem sleeping outside for good. The weather was balmy compared to the vast deserts of the Badlands so he'd be fine either way.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Vanitas could tell Terra wanted to say something. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, loud enough to be heard, but whatever it was the words didn't come over his lips. Probably he wanted to apologize, as if a simple 'sorry' would be enough to stop the chain-reaction he so carelessly started. But Vanitas was lucky for once in his life as they crossed the entire way in undisturbed silence.

Surprising enough, the table was already set up when they walked in: Four plates, a fifth in the middle with brownish somethings on top, a bowl with yellow stuff in it Vanitas assumed was potatoes, along with four glasses and matching silverware. Riku and Aqua were already sitting there and waiting.

“It's only the four of us tonight,” Riku explained as Vanitas pulled back a chair and took a seat, “The others said they'd grab dinner in Twilight Town.”

Vanitas simply shrugged, just to give some sort of answer. His eyes were fixed on the brown things on the middle-plate. It looked like... the crust of bread almost. The smells in the air didn't really give much away either, beside the heavy scent coming from some slices of lemon in a smaller bowl.

“That's fried fish. We ate that at least twice a week back on the Islands.” As Riku said that he put a piece onto Vanitas' plate. “You give the fish a breadcrumb coating and fry it in oil. It's a bit of work, but since it's only for so few I figured I could make the effort. And fish is good fuel for the brain, too.”

Not exactly filled with enthusiasm Vanitas poked the brown thing with his fork, a few crumbs coming off in the process. “That's not clownfish, is it?” he asked, one eyebrow arched as he gave Riku a suspicious glance across the table.

Next to him Terra choked on his water, almost spitting it across the table.

“N-no! Of course-” Riku cut himself off as Vanitas glared and instead explained, “Clownfish are smaller than your pinky. I used ocean perch this time, but you can make it out of any fish really.”

“If you don't like it,” Aqua cut in with a faint giggle, “There's plenty of potato salad.”

Riku frowned at her, looking as if she just insulted him. “Fried fish is one of the best foods in all worlds,” he stated with narrowed eyes. As if to make his point clear he cut off a bit of his food and stuck it into his mouth, not once breaking eye-contact with Aqua.

She merely giggled again and closed her eyes, her knife cutting through her – relatively small – piece of fish with much more ease. “Not all of us grew up on an Island with access to marine products,” she said before she started eating, taking much smaller bites. Once she swallowed she added, “This might be a shock to you, but there _ are _ people who actually _ dislike _ fish.”

A bit lost yet entertained Vanitas looked between the two while Terra gave a wheezed chuckle. He shook his head a little as he pressed out a slice of lemon on top of his fish, a grin on his lips. When he noticed Vanitas looking at him from the corner of his eye he held out the small bowl with the lemon, and after a lingering moment Vanitas picked up a piece and spread the juice across his fried fish as well.

He kept his eyes on the two masters as he gingerly tore off a bit of the fish and stuck it in his mouth. It wasn't the worst thing he ever ate, but the flavor was pretty weak overall. The lemon helped a little, however given the choice Vanitas would rather stick to goulash. Maybe Aqua's pasta, too, if he was _ really _ hungry.

When he dumped a few spoons of potato salad on his plate and made sure to pick the smallest piece of fish left on the middle plate, Riku shot him a look of betrayal from his seat. Vanitas merely sneered, stuffing a forkful of potato into his mouth for good measure, and leaned back on his chair.

“I think it's good,” Terra lightly threw in.

“Thank you,” Riku replied with a disappointed sigh. “Good to know _ someone here _ appreciates nice food when he sees it.”

Vanitas rolled his eyes, but refrained from adding to the conversation. Though it would be fun to rile them further up, he was indeed feeling a bit... tired. Even if he merely skimmed through some of the material, it had still been quite a few books he worked through for one single day. He had to accept his brain only had so much capacity after all.

Between the four of them the meal was soon finished though. Riku and Terra pretty much split the fish among themselves while Vanitas and Aqua stuck to the salad and dinner passed overall calmer than usual. Quiet, almost, and certainly more civilized than with everyone around. Usually Xion and Roxas would turn bubbly eventually and stir things up while Vanitas lost his nerve as soon as Ventus entered the picture. With just them the mood was considerably more sober and mature.

In fact, it was so comfortable Vanitas stuck around for a cup of tea afterward as well. Whatever Aqua brewed up in the afternoon had been alright and from how itchy his eyes were he figured a bit of extra fluid wouldn't hurt his body.

This time the steam smelled herbal rather than fruity, sweetened with a small scoop of honey. The others were quietly talking while Vanitas tapped away on his PGC, making a few notes about the discoveries he made in the study. It was handy when he had no paper and pen available, although the function was a bit difficult to navigate in. He should consult Tron about it; perhaps there was something he could do to bring the files into some kind of order.

Just as he started a new paragraph however voices and footsteps approached the kitchen, getting louder the closer they got. Sighing Vanitas quickly shut down his PGC and sipped on his tea, ready to retreat into the common area of the master's tower until Riku or Aqua opened the study for him again.

Before he could as much as rise from his chair however Xion already walked in, her head tilting around as she searched and a huge grin laying over her lips as she spotted him.

Seemed like the quiet evening was officially over.

“Van-Van! Why did you ignore my texts?” she asked as she approached, Naminé and Roxas following her like a shadow. Axel and Ventus strolled in much calmer, hands lifted and waving in greeting.

Another sigh escaped Vanitas as she noisily pulled back the chair next to him. “I was busy,” he replied, just knowing Xion would otherwise annoy him until she got an answer. The rest of the group had caught up by then, all of them somewhat hovering almost too close for comfort. Vanitas didn't exactly _ feel _ trapped... but they were certainly crowding him, intentionally or not.

“Sooo.” Xion giggled as she drew the word out, the grin on her face big enough to be concerning. Her inner gremlin was coming through and while Vanitas was happy to see it, proud even, he didn't really like that grin directed at himself. A gentle clack came from the other side and as Vanitas turned around to investigate it he spotted a small... fork. It laid neatly on the table, silver against the darker wood.

Next he heard a rustle – and as he glanced down he saw his PGC was pushed away, giving him space, and instead a box the size of a fist had appeared directly before him.

“Surprise!” the group called out, followed by soft laughter and dark chuckles.

Vanitas eyed the box suspiciously. It looked as if made out of paper, the folds mostly neat and colors held in a black and crimson check pattern. The lines looked a little crooked, as if they were hand-drawn.

“Come on, open it up!” Xion urged, gently nudging his shoulder, and although still unsure what to make of the box Vanitas reached out and lifted the top off.

Inside was a small, bowl-like something... a dark base rounded by neat, white dabbers and the outline of a Flood drawn in its middle. It's body was made of what looked like small blueberries and the red eye was a slice of strawberry, carefully cut to match the shape.

Before Vanitas could do anything about it Xion reached out and lifted it out of the box. Roxas pulled the box away so she could place it directly on the table and once it was outside the heavy smell of chocolate filled the air.

“It's a chocolate tart,” Xion happily explained, “Just for you! And everyone helped make it!”

“That's really beautiful,” Aqua whispered as she took in the small dessert. If Vanitas remembered right, she was into baking or something.

“Little Chef from the bistro helped us with it,” he heard Naminé say, her voice cheery though quiet. But Vanitas was too busy staring at the cake to feel out her emotions.

Through the corner of his eye he saw Xion nod vigorously. “Axel got the ingredients, Roxas did most of the baking with Little Chef, Naminé did the décor on top, I drew and made the box, and Ventus was in charge of photos and videos!” Her laugh was bright, so much so the others joined into it. “It was great! Especially Roxas and Little Chef! I made a whole video.”

“... I don't like sweets,” Vanitas deadpanned after an agonizing minute of baffled staring. He couldn't comprehend why they made the effort; who would put so much work into something? Especially for him?

He didn't need a single look to know Xion and Naminé instantly wilted. They were so close Vanitas felt the emotions clearly, their sadness and disappointment coming out in waves.

“Give it a try before you judge,” Roxas threw back, voice icy and even a bit tensed. He took the rejection quite different – instead of depressed, he felt angry and annoyed by Vanitas' words. Surely he was glaring, too, as he spoke.

Axel leaned toward him next, a bit of his red hair appearing in the corner of Vanitas' vision. “It's not sweet at all. There's even a bit of chili in it,” he whispered like a secret, complete with a hand covering his mouth.

“We just wanted to cheer you up.” He felt Xion lay a hand on his shoulder and squeeze, just a little. “After last night and the sleepover... and since you didn't come along today, we wanted to do something for you.” She paused and Vanitas looked up, straight into her somewhat torn face. “Please, Van-Van... Just one bite?”

Xion tried her puppy eyes, but Vanitas didn't care for them. However when Naminé plopped her head on top of hers, a similar expression on her face and a softly whispered 'please?' on her lips, it already turned harder to resist.

“Remember the chili,” Axel whispered behind him, which made matters a bit worse.

“If you don't want it,” Riku suddenly threw in with a shrug of his shoulders, his arm already stretched out to grab the plate the tart was on. Vanitas instinctively swung his arm down to shield the dessert off, lips pulled in a snarl and eyes narrowed, a 'mine' already on the tip of his tongue.

When Riku pulled back, a smug smirk on his face, Vanitas cursed internally. The damn prick had managed to manipulate him!

Growling low in his throat Vanitas yanked the plate closer to himself and grabbed the fork from the table. He decided he'd take one bite, make a scene about how bad it was, and then stroll off during the fallout. That would teach the lights a lesson about doing things without his consent.

He stabbed the fork into the edge of the tart, the food instantly giving into the pressure, and just as he pulled it back a gooey, dark substance gently blobbed out from the middle. Annoyed Vanitas stuck the bite into his mouth, chewed once, twice...

Against what he thought, the cake wasn't sweet at all. He tasted a bit of sugar, but it was just lingering on the very edges. Instead his mouth was filled with the rich flavor of chocolate, dark and smooth against his tongue, and as he chewed he sensed the familiar burn of chili and... was that pepper coming through? The dabber was mostly tasteless, so it was probably just whipped cream.

Gingerly Vanitas brought his fork down and took another bite. And another. When he picked up some of the blueberries a lightly sour tang swung along, making the flavor even _ better _.

He could tell everyone was happy he ate the tart, if the disappearing darkness was any clue, but they were smart enough to not comment on it. Instead the group around him finally cleared out as they shared stories about the day and showed videos and photos on their Gummiphones.

“Little Chef is an amazing cook alright,” he heard Axel say, “But Scrooge? That's one cheap duck, I tell you.” He sighed exaggeratedly and crossed his arms before his chest, red eyebrows furrowed. “Wouldn't even give us a discount on the food and almost charged us extra for using the kitchen. Why, us! After saving the worlds you'd think the people would be more grateful to their heroes.”

Aqua giggled gleefully at that. “Remember about the world order, Lea. If anyone knew the worlds needed salvation, we wouldn't be doing it right.”

“Man, being a Keyblade-Wielder is an ungrateful job.” Another dramatic sigh escaped him. “But guess it's too late to sign out now, huh? Oh well...”

Most of the others laughed at the comment – but it wasn't a spiteful, condescending laugh. It was light and filled with humor, and so contagious Vanitas chuckled along, even around a mouthful of chocolate.

The tart had been the perfect size; by the time Vanitas was finished with it he felt sated, though not overly stuffed. It had been a bit of a heavy dessert, but the fish had been easily digestible. The tea however didn't go well with the tart, so by the time he picked up his cup to drink the rest it had gone cold.

While they made no remarks as he ate, Xion was quick to return to his side once he had finished. “So? Did you like it?” she asked excitedly.

Just to stay true to his character, Vanitas shrugged nonchalantly with a blank expression. “It was edible,” he coolly admitted, which earned him a shove from her.

“Van-Vaaan! Don't be a meanie!” Xion giggled as she complained, her hands fumbling around her Gummiphone. “I've been _ dying _ to show you this. I held the video back, didn't want to spoil the surprise, but it's _ too good _.” She giggled and snickered until she held the item right into Vanitas' view and tapped on the screen.

The picture on the display started moving and several noises came from the Gummiphone. Vanitas heard the others chat in the background along with rustle and clatter, and Xion snorted as she walked closer to Roxas. He was standing on a counter, arm around a huge, bronze bowl while his other hand moved rapidly around in a stirring motion.

On his head was something, but it was so small Vanitas had to lean a bit closer and squint his eyes before he recognized it.

“Is that... a _ rat _?” he asked incredulously. The small rodent was pulling on Roxas' hair, in fact the same way he moved, and when it lifted its right paw to wave at Xion Roxas copied the motion instantly. In fact, he waved even before he looked up, which made him glance around in confusion before he realized Xion was filming them.

“It was so weird, too,” Roxas commented from behind him. Since he stood, he could easily look at the screen as well. “I felt almost like a puppet. Xion and Ven tried it, but somehow Little Chef and I worked the best together and were put in charge of the baking. Though _ next time, _” Vanitas suddenly felt a shove on top of his head, a hand mushing up his hair for a split second, but the contact was gone before he could swat the hand away. He glared back over his shoulder, right into Roxas' smug grin, as he added, “You can stand yourself in the kitchen, ungrateful that you are.” With that he walked off, satisfied he got away with his touch, although Xion went instantly after him for vengeance.

Next time...

Somehow, Roxas made it sound like Vanitas would be part of their next trip to Twilight Town.

… Weird.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Soon enough they all parted for the day. Xion loudly complained once she heard about the new living arrangements, however no amount of pouting would make Vanitas change his mind. Naminé looked down as well, albeit not as heartbroken as Xion, though they had no reason for it. As Vanitas had already pointed out to Riku earlier – and repeated at least trice in the evening – it wasn't like they were worlds apart. They would survive not seeing him for a few hours throughout the day.

Vanitas gave them two days max, then they'd start meeting up in his bedroom like before anyway.

To keep the others away from the study Aqua put up a barrier at the very start of the corridor, but she showed Vanitas and Riku how they could pass through it on their own. Terra wouldn't join them anymore since he was deeply involved in Naminé's training to improve her wielding, which was just fine with Vanitas. The study had no windows and wasn't aired in forever; it was stuffy as it was and every extra-person inside made it just worse.

Deemed safe for apprentice's eyes, Aqua allowed Vanitas to take the volumes of the encyclopedia up to his bedroom. He also went and gathered the rest of the collection from the great library, just to have everything available when he felt like looking deeper into the topic. There was a crazy amount of Keyblades and so much to know and learn; Vanitas even considered branching out to keychains and forging as well, just to understand the whole picture better. For the time being he was still stuck on The Gazing Eye though.

The eyeball had an uncanny resemblance to the one on Void Gear. When Vanitas compared the picture with his Keyblade, both currently laying on his new desk, he saw a few differences in color, but who could say if the drawing in the encyclopedia was accurate. With Master Xehanort gone and no hints to where Gazing Eye ended up, Vanitas had no possibility to compare the Keyblades in the flesh, though there had to be a connection of _ some _ sort.

So absorbed in his brooding, Vanitas even declined Riku's offer for an evening run around the castle-grounds. While he could use the exercise, he wanted to sum up his thoughts and snoop around the books a little longer instead.

Vanitas was still debating whether he should boot Tron and see if he could take notes for him or type down the things himself when steps came down the corridor. They were too pointy and light to belong to Riku – and there could only be one other person who'd pay him a visit in his new quarters.

By the time Aqua appeared in the open door, he had already turned around on his chair with a sneer on his lips.

“Why good evening,_ Master Aqua _,” he greeted with so much sarcasm his mockery was obvious, “To what do I owe your visit?”

Even from further away Vanitas could see her struggle. While Aqua's face remained calm and neutral, her eyes shone with sharp distrust. He had been a little surprised actually; despite them spending so much time close together that day, she was only hostile when they started working through the study. During dinner she was even _ almost nice _, not once giving him the usual stink-eye. It made him wonder just how badly she was willing to suppress her own feelings just to get on the good side with her precious friends again.

But Vanitas knew the truth in the darkness of her heart, probably even better than Aqua herself.

So he wasn't surprised when she stepped in and walked up close enough for them to talk quietly, not even bothering to ask for permission. “There is something I want to tell you,” she began, blue eyes icy as she crossed her arms before her chest.

“Really now,” he taunted, his sneer turning even broader. Without any witnesses around, he wondered just how honest Aqua was going to be.

“I'm not trusting you. And I won't apologize for the enchantments I put on your room.” Her hands tightened around her biceps so much the cloth of her sleeves wrinkled up. Oddly enough her grip loosened however, not so much her hands let go but at least her knuckles were no longer white. “After today though, I'm starting to understand why Riku and Mickey are so adamant about you being here. However,” Finally Aqua closed the distance between them, her form looming over Vanitas as she stared down at him, “I'm keeping my eyes on you. You're filled with darkness and if you give me a reason, I'll slay you down like a Heartless.”

Chuckling Vanitas rose from his chair, his head just slightly tilted back as he sneered right into Aqua's face. “Are you _ actually _ threatening me? Even after your little group condemned your actions so openly?”

Aqua held his stare, though the corner of her mouth twitched minutely. “I'm not threatening you,” she replied with surprising strength in her voice. “I'm just being honest. If you endanger my friends, I will fight you. And if I have to... I _ will _ end you.”

For a moment Vanitas looked back – then he exploded into a cackle, unable to hold himself back any longer. Aqua endured it for a couple of seconds before she turned around and left, just as slowly as she had come, dignity seemingly untouched by his reaction.

He had to admit she had quite some backbone. It was almost intimidating, how she glared at him, and Vanitas actually believed she'd go as far as killing him if he gave her a reason. _ Damn _, if she knew about his plan of taking revenge on Sora, she might have slain him right on the spot.

But as things were, Aqua had only a fledging gut-feeling that he was plotting with no solid evidence for it. And she knew Vanitas _ knew that _, too, and had the nerve to laugh in her face about it.

Cackle slowly calming to faint snickering, Vanitas fell back into his chair and sneered in the direction Aqua took off to. He felt strangely excited, knowing she would keep a close eye on him and his actions. How much could he play with her before the others turned suspicious? If he was smart and sneaky about it, Vanitas could easily land a few low blows before Aqua had enough to act on. Or maybe she'd even give him the satisfaction of making a wrong move on her end and have the others gang up on her.

It was only a fine path they were both walking on – and Vanitas wondered who would be the first of them to lose their footing and fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Thanks to my amazing Beta, I present to you the next chap~  
Actually... she's the fast one and I fail to deliver lol. I hope I can keep up this schedule v.v   
Also - thank you guys so, so much for over 1k hits! I feel so flattered, you are the best <3
> 
> A little bit of fluff these dark days. Hope you enjoyed this breather.  
The next few chaps are supposed to be more intense; a conflict is coming up!  
After that, I really need to think over the plot. There are a few parts I want to include, but I'm not sure about the order just yet. Guess that's what you can expect when you improvise most of the time orz  
ANYWAY! Hope you had fun reading. 
> 
> Stay healthy and regards,  
-T


	19. The First Lesson

The afternoon-sun glared down on the Land of Departure with less ferocity than in the Badlands, but Vanitas still disliked it. The bright light blinded his eyes and burned on his bare skin, so much he sometimes summoned darkness to cover his arms and part of his torso when they trained.

So when Riku decided to take his first lesson outside, Vanitas made an instant beeline for the shade of the nearby trees. Even a conveniently large rock laid near the trunks, big enough for him to sit on and so high his feet didn't touch the grass beneath. It left him quite a bit away from the rest of the group, but considering he was mostly a bystander than actual student, Vanitas figured his spot was as good as any.

Though... considering the attendants, no distance seemed to be far enough.

“Alright,” Riku called as he clapped his hands in a gesture that was entirely Aqua. His lips were pulled up in a friendly smile – which looked a bit fake, in Vanitas' opinion – as he cleared his throat and stepped before the group. “Thank you for joining the first class of 'learn about your darkness and how to use it'. We'll keep today's lesson easy so you get a feeling if you want to attend it in the future.” His head turned a little, regarding two people in particular. “Of course you can still attend class, even if you can't really participate on the practical parts. I encourage you to give it a shot regardless. Who knows? Maybe you'll even turn out to ace all of the assignments.”

Silently Xion lifted her arm and patiently waited for Riku's nod before she spoke. “Why wouldn't Naminé and Ven be able to participate?”

“Good question.” Riku nodded his head with his remark, which made Vanitas roll his eyes. “I just figured they might have difficulties with the element given their origins. That doesn't have to mean anything, of course, but it wouldn't be too surprising if they can't properly channel their darkness.”

Xion cocked her head and squinted her eyes – clear signs she had trouble grasping what he meant – and Vanitas drew in a deep, steadying breath. He could tell Riku tried to avoid stating the obvious, but he was also determined to bring some understanding and knowledge across, even if it meant breaching sensitive topics. “Well,” he began, briefly glanced at Vanitas, and then explained, “Naminé is Kairi's former Nobody. As you might know, Kairi is one of the Princesses of Hearts, who all naturally possess a heart made of pure light. Of course they can still feel dark emotions, but the darkness can't really find enough purchase to manifest properly in their bodies. Or at least there has never been a reported case of a princess' heart being noticeably corrupted by darkness.” Riku locked eyes with Naminé, checking her expression before he moved on. “As for Ven... Due to certain circumstances he got a heart of pure light as well, although it was re-completed with darkness from Sora's heart. I doubt you two have much of an affinity for the exercises I have planned.”

Vanitas didn't miss the strain in Riku's voice or how short his explanation regarding Ventus was. He was inclined to shout at him to throw Ventus out of class all together, but managed to keep his mouth firmly shut. Riku had promised him a generous fill of his darkness... however  _ only _ if he behaved himself during the lesson. And since they had spent most of the last few days buried in the study – save for the classes Vanitas was forced to attend and occasional sparring sessions with the ex-nobodies – there hadn't been much of a chance to leech off darkness.

He knew Riku was just baiting him with the little treat, but it was too alluring for Vanitas to reject.

Still, having Ventus around was so provoking by itself it was hard to hold back.

“So, first of all I'd like to hear of ways you guys know how to use the darkness,” Riku stated, back in his teacher-role. After a while an arm rose, much to Riku's relief, given how his shoulders relaxed at the motion. “Yes, Axel?”

“Dark corridors,” came the easy reply.

“Good example,” Riku remarked, “Dark corridors are a handy way to travel between large distances, though crossing them without protection can be dangerous. And, admittedly, the view is much lamer than when using a Gummiship.” The little joke earned him a few chuckles and an enthusiastic 'definitely' from Xion.

The next to raise her arm was Naminé. “You can weave darkness into spells.”

Again Riku gave a nod. “Adding darkness in offensive magic changes the attacks briefly, too. We'll go over the mechanics in one of the next lessons.” He looked around the group. “Any more ideas?”

After a couple of minutes Xion lifted her hand. “You can use darkness to make armor.”

Riku actually clicked his fingers at her response. “Excellent! With enough control and power, you can will darkness to become a shield. Some can even affect how it looks and shapes.” He pointedly glanced over to where Vanitas was sitting, smug smirk on his lips, and Vanitas growled low in his throat at the blatant hint.

“So you chose to look like Xehanort?” Roxas suddenly threw in, instantly drawing everyone's attention. Most seemed confused, Vanitas included, but he furrowed his eyebrows when he sensed a certain amount of... hostility coming from Roxas, which was entirely directed at Riku.

“Excuse me?” Riku returned, his voice neutral though tensed.

A sneer curled over Roxas' lips – and the view made Vanitas' skin crawl. He'd never seen Ventus like that; sadistic and cruel. It looked wrong on that face, so wrong it was surreal, and yet he found himself morbidly curious for how the conversation would carry on.

“Back when we fought,” Roxas started, so casual it was sickening, “You called to darkness to defeat me and changed your appearance into Xehanort.”

The context was lost on Vanitas, but the way everyone was clearly uncomfortable had him intrigued. Riku was at war with himself, his expression hard and jaw clenched, but he somehow still remained calm on the outside.

“Thank you for bringing up the example, Roxas,” Riku brought out through gritted teeth. “Like with all powerful things, one can lose control. Back then I still struggled with my darkness, so when I used it I took the appearance of Xehanort's  _ Heartless _ without meaning to. That's why I want you all to be careful, no matter which power you wield.”

Roxas snorted and turned away, a slight pout on his lips. Vanitas could relate to the frustration in his heart. He obviously tried to upset Riku with his words, but he managed to turn the matter around. Yet Vanitas sensed the small after effects of Roxas' sneaky attack... the darkness blooming in Riku's chest. Sadness, regret, even sickening sweet guilt – it all found a place in his heart and grew steadily, as if Roxas opened a lock that kept the feelings in check.

All those ill feelings, so close, just a heartbeat away...

As subtle as possible Vanitas reached out to the darkness and gently absorbed it. He held himself back the best he could, but it tasted just as good as a few days ago, powerful and thick, and like then it didn't mix with Vanitas' own darkness right away.

However Riku noticed the pull after only a couple of seconds; he whipped his head toward Vanitas, cutting himself off mid-sentence, and with a glare he drew in a breath and focused. He squashed down his feelings with the same viscousness as Vanitas did with his Unversed, cutting off the flow much too soon to feel truly satisfied.

Consent was a funny thing, wasn't it?

Still Vanitas carried a broad grin on his lips as he leaned back on the rock, far enough to rest his shoulders and head against the trunk of the tree. He was affected by Riku's darkness, but not to the point he was entirely lightheaded. Rather, he felt strangely relaxed and just a bit groggy. For a moment he could even forget about Ventus' annoying presence and simply listen to the leaves rustling above his head. Not like Riku was talking about anything interesting anyway; just from tossing out ideas of where to use darkness they certainly weren't going to generate any, so Vanitas had no need to stay focused. Probably he could snack on Roxas' frustration for dessert, but it was much more fun watching him stew in it instead.

“Ah, this is a nice spot,” a high voice suddenly commented, but Vanitas was so calm he merely spared a glance in its direction rather than flinching. He watched silently as the roundish, chubby thing that usually stayed close to Ventus – what was its name again? Chitty or something? – approached his rock, staring up with unblinking eyes. “Mind if I stay here, too?” it asked with a tilt of its head.

Vanitas gave a shrug of his shoulders, too lazy for a verbal reply. He rolled his eyes though when the thing waddled its legs as it climbed onto the rock, grunting and hissing as it did so. Eventually it managed to get on top and sighed heavily before it flopped to sit next to Vanitas, so close their bodies touched, and he had half a mind to push it off for it. However his hands were so comfortable in his front pocket... seemed like a waste to pull them out just yet.

“Did you sleep well recently?” the thing asked after a while of them silently observing Riku and the others. “You certainly look more refreshed.”

Again Vanitas refrained from answering. The strange thing was too noisy for his taste and given how close Ventus was with it, he really didn't feel much like bonding. Anyone close to his counterpart simply  _ screamed _ unnecessary trouble.

Getting the hint the creature fell silent – until Ventus said something in the distance that made the others laugh and praise him. As they watched the thing lifted its arms with a giggle and held it before its snout. Even its eyes seemed to curl upwards in delight, which made Vanitas frown in return.

With flicking ears it admitted, “I'm glad to see Ven’s found so many friends. The old Ven used to be by himself all the time.” It scooted closer, so much so it rested its massive head right in Vanitas' lap. “... Don't you feel like joining them, Vanitas?”

Oddly enough, Vanitas found himself replying, “I'm good.” He also made no attempt to shove the creature off, its presence actually... familiar in a way. As if they had been in the same position before, in a past Vanitas no longer remembered.

The thing hummed thoughtfully. “But you're not lonely, are you?” it asked, voice low and timid. “You don't have to be, you know. You got me by your side.”

Vanitas couldn't help a small snort. “Don't you belong to Ventus?” he returned with a snark, his eyes landing on the group once more. Riku had started gesturing with his arms a little as he explained something. He said he might add a demonstration toward the end of the lesson, too, and Vanitas wondered how much longer it would be.

“I'm Ven's Chirithy. Of the old Ven from long ago.” The creature, Chirithy, climbed further on Vanitas until it settled in his lap, its massive head landing just under his chin. “I loved the old Ven. All of him, the good and bad parts. And even if the old Ven was gone the moment you two separated, that hasn't changed.” It leaned back, it's ears flicking when it connected with Vanitas' chest. He suddenly had the strange urge to scratch it just beneath the snout, but he kept his hands safely tucked in his pocket. “You're part of the old Ven, just like the new Ven is. So I'd like to be there for you.”

“Tell that to someone who cares,” Vanitas bit out with his lips curled in disgust. He eventually pushed Chirithy off his lap before he got up and stalked over to the group. Riku was just about done with his lesson; he bowed to the group with a hand on his nape and even his cheeks looked a little flustered as Naminé, Xion, and idiot Ventus clapped enthusiastically at him. Even Axel gave him a thumbs up with a smirk. However the group soon began to dissolve.

The first to leave were Roxas and Xion, mostly since he dragged her away as soon as Riku dismissed them. Axel trotted after them with a sigh, almost like he expected that sort of outcome. Naminé and Ventus were quietly talking to each other as Vanitas finally approached, determined to demand his fill of darkness and then head back into the study. He had recently discovered an interesting book about magic he wanted to check out closer. Although he visited Aqua's lessons regularly and spent hours practicing he hardly improved; maybe he found some advice in a lecture that suited his nature more.

However just as a few steps were left Riku suddenly lifted his arm – while the hand of his other disappeared in his pocket and returned with an awfully annoying melody. “Sorry, I have to take this,” he said quickly before he responded to the call, his entire face lighting up as he looked at the screen.

And then the overly excited voice came through the speakers... and Vanitas' mood turned instantly sour.

Really, how did Sora even  _ know _ their lesson was over? The timing was too uncannily right to be a mere coincidence. Vanitas expected a call from him – given his best friend just made his intro as a teacher – but he hoped he had at least a bit of time before that. Annoying as Sora was, the call could easily last an hour or longer. However Vanitas wanted his promised darkness and since he neither wanted to look for Riku or wait until nightfall, he was doomed to stick around until they were done.

Releasing an irritated huff he retreated back into the shade of the nearest tree. There was no rock so Vanitas sat on the grass instead, legs crossed under him as he propped his elbows on his knees to support his head, cupped in his hands. Despite his threatening snarl Ventus approached his spot, closely followed by Chirithy, and sat down too close for comfort. At least Naminé was there as well; that made it much easier to ignore Ventus' very existence.

“How come you stayed so far away?” she asked once she knelt on the grass, her upper body leaned briefly back on her hands as she observed Riku in the distance.

“I'm there to absorb darkness and for practical parts. There were none today,” Vanitas easily replied while he narrowed his eyes. Maybe he could cut the call short if he just glared a hole into Riku's head.

Quietly Naminé hummed. “I think I noticed. Riku frowned at you at some point.” She giggled ever so lightly, her head cocked to the side so her hair fell more across her shoulder. “You didn't do anything about Roxas' darkness though.”

A sneer crept onto Vanitas' lips. “Nah. Much more fun to watch him squirm.”

“How evil,” Naminé remarked with a bit of disappointment, but when he looked over he saw the impish grin on her face. However her expression quickly changed; all at once she looked thoughtful, even a bit worried. “It was a surprise though... That he even remembered the incident.”

Lifting his head – Riku was so absorbed in the call, he wouldn't notice a Buckle Bruiser smacking him in the face anyway – Vanitas turned around enough to face her. “How come?” he asked in genuine interest. Xion used to have amnesia, or so he heard, but Roxas was new.

Naminé sat up a bit straighter and laid her hands in her lap, fingers absently fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. Aqua got her a similar attire as hers since they arrived; a tight-fitting, sleeveless top with black shorts and something like an open battle-skirt that fanned out on her hips. The cords and the corset were missing and the shirt wasn't enforced on the chest, but Vanitas assumed that came from Naminé's delicate build. She certainly had no need to hold anything  _ up  _ just yet. Still, she looked quite like a younger version of Aqua and from what he saw during their sparring-sessions screamed her style, too.

… He just hoped the similarities would remain purely superficial though.

“Since I came from Kairi's heart when it was in Sora's body... I can manipulate Sora's memories and, to an extent, those of people connected to his heart.” Her voice was quiet as she spoke, shy and insecure. “I used my powers to meddle so much with his memories his entire mind was in pieces. Even his heart was in serious danger by then. It took me a year to fix all the damage – and some of his memories ended up with Roxas.” Naminé drew in a deep breath and pulled her legs in, her arms wrapping around them. “For Sora to wake up... I had to take those memories back from him.”

She didn't give any more details, but Vanitas had a good guess what that meant.

“Roxas fought tooth and nail to stay separated, yet Riku managed to beat him in the end. But I couldn't help the feeling it was... wrong what we did.” Her arms tightened briefly around her legs. “So, I used my powers to seal off Roxas' memories of the year and gave him a moment of peace before he joined Sora's heart again.”

When Naminé looked up her face was a bit lighter, though the guilt was still carved deep in her expression.

As he allowed the words to sink in, Vanitas studied her. Watched how she turned toward him with a haunted smile, relief and sorrow both reflecting in her eyes as silence spread between them.

“If I were Roxas,” he said with a serious voice, hard and just as cold as steel, “I'd have killed you.”

Naminé gasped at his reply, her eyes bulking just a little, but all Vanitas did was pluck a blade of grass from the ground. “For those without a heart, memories and thoughts are all they have. It's something that belongs to them, and  _ only _ them. It shapes who they are.”

Vanitas rolled the blade between his fingers as he thought back – remembered all the icy nights and agonizing days in the Badlands, remembered the journeys he took between the worlds. He remembered what Master Xehanort taught him as well as all his lies and what ideas those made grow in his head.

Most of his memories were horrible, thoughts dark as the deepest night... but still they somehow resulted in the twisted identity that he claimed for himself.

“If someone tried taking those from me...” Vanitas pulled the grass back into his palm using his thumb before he  _ squeezed _ , so hard the juice pressed out of the plant. “I'll  _ crush _ them – or die trying.” With that he opened his hand, the crumbled blade of grass falling to the ground. Absently he wiped his dirty palm clean on Naminé's skirt, uncaring if he ruined the cloth or not, and icy silence spread between them once more.

“Guess you have a point,” she eventually whispered, her hands folded tightly on her lap. “Maybe the title 'witch' suits me after all.” A smile curled over her lips, a weary and haunted one, as if she held something back. Or maybe she simply remembered something painful, one of the many memories that shaped the melancholy constantly hovering around her.

However the moment was disturbed, much to Vanitas' annoyance.

“You're not a witch,” Ventus declared as he pushed between them. The grass rustled under him and Chirithy wobbled on his back, busy trying to keep its balance as he moved. He invaded the space so quickly Vanitas barely had the time to jerk his body away, their arms coming so close to brushing his lips pulled into a snarl.

Settling more comfortably on his knees Ventus smiled encouragingly at Naminé. “You made some mistakes. Everyone does. Acting somewhat evil in the past doesn't mean you're a bad person.” Suddenly his head moved, his bright, naive eyes shifting from her to Vanitas. “At least that's what I think,” he added, the smile faded to the point he looked almost earnest.

With a growl Vanitas shoved him away – with his flat hand in the middle of his face. Ventus yelped at the sudden contact and fell over once Vanitas pushed just hard enough. Scowling he got up and stamped away, hands thrust in his front pocket as he walked. Behind him he heard Naminé helping Ventus up, their voices speaking in hushes, but he paid them no mind as he stalked toward the castle. Through the corner of his eyes he saw Riku looking at them before he quickly hung up on Sora, however Vanitas ignored his calls and instead stamped on.

A single Flood grew from his shadow – and after a threatening hiss, it climbed up his body and held onto his shoulders as he walked away, teeth gritting so hard it hurt.

\-------------------------------------------

Satisfied all the way to his core, Vanitas flopped against the pillows on his bed with a sigh. He felt lethargic, the darkness swirling in his heart still too much for him to stomach right away.

“I know I promised to give you plenty,” Riku started with a sigh, “But is it really okay for you to absorb so much? It can't be good if the first thing you need afterward is  _ rest _ .”

Even from this distance – Riku was sitting in an armchair across the room – Vanitas felt the heavy, concerned gaze on himself. Annoyed he rolled his eyes as he wiggled until he was comfortable; they had had that discussion a few times already, about the consequences the absorption of foreign darkness might have on Vanitas' body in the long run. Just because he used to do it in the past didn't mean his being could take it now. While Riku still firmly believed in the symbiotic nature of his darkness, he also refrained from taking too many risks. By the third time Vanitas leeched off his dark emotions he figured out how to cut the flow from his end, forcefully stopping the process, and he used that ability whenever he saw fit.

“If you eat fried fish until you almost burst, you'll need some rest after, too,” Vanitas explained with a grumble. He sunk a bit deeper into his pillow before he added, “After a nap, I'll show you just how well I am,  _ Master _ .” A sneer laid over his lips as he chuckled, eyes slipping shut as he dozed off.

“No need for that. I believe you.” Riku adjusted on his chair and even with his eyes closed Vanitas still felt his scrutinizing stare.

“What?” Vanitas hissed once he grew annoyed enough, eyes snapping back open.

Riku easily held his glare before he shrugged. “How did you like today's lesson?”

Vanitas glared at him suspiciously, but replied anyway. “I liked the part where Roxas tripped you up.” His lips pulled into a mischievous grin – but instead of playful glee, his eyes gleamed with chaos and maliciousness. He remembered someone saying it was creepy, how that expression Sora frequently carried had a completely other feel to it when he made it, but Vanitas couldn't recall who exactly. All that mattered was finding ways to claim the stolen face as his own and twisting up whatever meaning others associated with his expression was one way to do it.

He cackled when Riku gave him a look somewhere between disappointed and annoyed. “Well,” he began after crossing his arms before his chest, “I  _ was _ surprised when he suddenly brought Ansem up. I'd hardly say he rattled me though.”

“Ansem?” Vanitas repeated with a frown. Quickly he went over the conversation again, but the only name he could recall was Master Xehanort's. Ansem wasn't mentioned even once.

“Ah, sorry, you couldn't know of course,” Riku suddenly said, tearing him out of his thoughts. Relaxing just a little he explained, “At the very beginning, Xehanort's Heartless introduced himself to us as Ansem. After suffering from amnesia he became Ansem's apprentice. He ended up separating his own heart from his body, which created a Nobody and a Heartless. He then dubbed himself 'Ansem Seeker of Darkness' and proceeded to open the door to Kingdom Hearts.”

Once he paused, Riku's expression darkened; his arms uncrossed and he stared down at the palms of his hands, guilt coming off him in waves.

“Back then, I turned to the darkness... which resulted in my home-world falling victim to it. I went so far astray I gave Ansem the chance to use me as a vessel. Somehow my heart withstood the darkness however and I managed to amend my mistakes with help from Sora and the king.” He curled his hands into fists before he looked up again, the guilt replaced with determination. “As I said during class, my ability at wielding the darkness was rather poor at the beginning. When I used it, my body took the appearance of Ansem once again. That's what Roxas was referring to.”

Although he still felt too stuffed to properly move, Vanitas sat up crossed-legged on the bed. “You  _ actually _ fell into darkness?” he asked incredulously. His hands landed in the narrow hole his legs made, supporting him as he leaned forward with squinted eyes.

“Does that really sound so unlikely to you?” Riku returned with a crooked, almost vulnerable smile. “I'm nowhere near as bright and pure as the others. My path is covered in mistakes I atoned for. Still do sometimes.” He tilted his head toward the window, glancing out at the evening sun. “Some days I think it's... wrong for me to be around still. But my friends believe I'm worthy of it. So, all I can do is try to grow into the person they see in me.”

“The person they see in you,” Vanitas quietly mused, trying to wrap his head around the new information. At least now he knew why the darkness in Riku's heart was so potent; if he sunk deep enough for Master Xehanort to claim him as a vessel, it was a surprise he actually managed to return in the first place. Was that why the lights accepted him by their side after all? They'd be idiots to let such a strong person walk away.

Though... maybe there was more to it than simply that. At least Vanitas didn't think  _ Sora _ would be strategic enough to use Riku's abilities to his advantage.

“I'd like to do some demonstrations during class the day after tomorrow,” Riku said, breaking the silence of the room. “Feel like having a little spar against me? Though...” His lips pulled into a smirk and his teal eyes shone with mischief. “Before you go call me a cheater again – be aware I'll use the power of darkness during the fight.”

Vanitas gave a snort, but he couldn't keep the excitement entirely from his face; the corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes gleamed like melted gold. “I'm going to  _ destroy you _ this time,” he quietly promised, although his tone lacked the usual bite.

Riku saw the provocation as the figurative threat it was and merely chuckled in return. “If you can help it, keep the Unversed out of it. The class is about using the darkness.”

“The Unversed  _ come _ from dark emotions though,” Vanitas complained with a fake pout, but Riku merely lifted one hand and waggled his index-finger at him.

“Oh no you don't. I've grown up with Sora's puppy-eyed-look, it won't work on me.” He tilted his head away, although Vanitas was sure he still saw him through the corner of his eye.

Noisily Vanitas cleared his throat and closed his eyes – before he jutted out his bottom lip, parted his eyelids to half-mast, and whined, “But  _ Riiikuuu _ !”

… He only managed to hold up the act for a few seconds, then Vanitas sat up straighter with narrowed eyes and curled lips. Damn, that had been grosser than he thought, and Riku didn't as much as flinch either. He  _ did _ however break into laughter now, so much he held his stomach and clenched his eyes shut.

Just as Vanitas clenched his fingers into the material of his pillow, ready to smack it right into Riku's face, a low chime from his pocket caught his attention instead. Ever so slightly he relaxed, hand palming his pants until he finally reached into a pocket and pulled out his Gummiphone. His eyes narrowed when, unfortunately, the noise alerted him of a new message.

While he read, Riku's laughter slowly faded in the background. “Good news?” he asked, voice a little breathless still.

Vanitas clicked his tongue with a frown. “Xion said they're having ice cream on the roof. I got ten minutes to be there – or they'll come get me.” He shook his head as he pocketed the device, pondering over his options. Dessert wasn't particularly tempting, although Xion wrote they got other flavors as well, but it seemed like less trouble than having the entire gang barge into his room. Pulling up a barrier before his door was a skill he hadn't quite mastered yet; until then, complying was the least troublesome way.

“Aw, they miss you.” A smirk that was entirely mocking laid over Riku's lips, a chuckle adding once Vanitas glared at him. In the end he threw the pillow at him after all, making sure he stalked out of the room before Riku could fight back. That felt like something he would do... with Sora. And Vanitas wasn't in the mood to be  _ actually _ compared to him.

Though the way was pretty far, he didn't feel the need to particularly hurry. Even if they had different flavors, all that bonding-over-ice-cream-under-the-sunset was something Vanitas still had trouble grasping. Or rather, the way the mood unwound so completely those moments. He could relax for a few minutes at most, then his being would tense up in alert, as if he expected a sneaky attack any minute. Roxas liked to call him out on it, they'd toss a few provoking words back and forth, then Vanitas would grab for his ice cream and throw it down the tower if he got it...

Well. Maybe the others were smart enough to sit between them this time around, although Vanitas always managed to find a way regardless. But for the moment he felt civil enough to assume he'd just eat up his Popsicle and then head back to his room.

… By the time he crossed the great hall, he was certain someone was following him.

No steps could be heard in the corridor, save for Vanitas' own. However he was certain a pair of eyes were glued on him and once he sensed the faintest breeze on his arm, he had a close guess of who his follower was.

As casual as possible Vanitas rounded the next corner and climbed up a flight of stairs – then he willed a Scrapper into existence and sent it up the rest of the stairs while he jumped down the stairway, soundlessly landing at the bottom and hiding in the shadows. He kept close to the wall, making sure he was hidden despite the spark of gold from his eyes. But it wasn't like the idiot at his heels would notice him anyway.

Just as Vanitas expected the outline of a familiar boy appeared, head tilted back so he kept the stairs in his sight.

Growling Vanitas shoved him, so hard he hit the wall with a yelp. Whatever he held in his hands slipped out of his grasp and hit the ground with a splat, but Vanitas ignored it as he approached the boy with a snarl and pinned him on the wall with a hand on his throat.

“What the fuck do you want?” he demanded, eyes narrowed and voice icy. He ignored the struggle and hands gripping his shirt, trying to shove him off. Instead he squeezed down a little tighter, growl low in his throat.

Eventually Ventus dropped his hands and gasped, “I- I just... You don't like seasalt-”

Clicking his tongue Vanitas pulled him off the wall and shoved him again, making him stumble and fall before his feet. Disgusted he stared down at what Ventus had dropped – two Popsicles, shaped like Mickey's head – and stomped his foot down on one. The ice cream crushed easily under his boot, leaving a sticky mess on the floor, and he snorted when Ventus reached out his hand with a look of horror on his face.

“What makes  _ you _ think,” Vanitas began, face in a frown and eyes narrowed, “I'd accept  _ anything _ that comes from you?” He made a step forward, looming over Ventus' form like a dangerous monster. “If I were in the desert, being parched, and you'd show up with a bottle of water – I'd rather  _ die of thirst _ .”

With that he headed back into the corridor, leaving Ventus behind. “Stay the fuck away from me,” Vanitas called over his shoulder, “You breathing the same air as me makes me sick.”

The quiet sobs reaching his ears was music to his ears, although Vanitas wished he'd be in even more pain. Ventus knew nothing about real torture... and likely never would. But Vanitas would still try to shake up his perfect little world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Oh boy, this chap was actually done for a while... but the latest chap of Land of Shenanigans kept me busy orz   
It features Vanitas' butt in case you're interested ;D 
> 
> That being said, this chap came pretty easily to me although, again, not much happens. But! We hit the 100k words mark :D!  
And this chap is foreshadowing some tention that'll follow in the next few chaps. Ahhh, looking forward to it!
> 
> Unfortunately though, the next part will take a while longer to come.   
I just finished the FFVII remake and *really* want to write something with Cloud... and Leon... and fantasy... and Van-Van as a familiar... soooo a short story is currently owning my life Q.Q I literally can't focus on anything else, my mind just won't cooperate. So ima ride that wave so I can come back to Completed as soon as possible. I promise the next chap will definitely make it to you by June! 
> 
> Sorry for the wait; I hope all of you are healthy and if not, that you'll recover soon. 
> 
> Regards,  
-T


	20. Provocations

The breeze was so gentle the see-through curtains waved only a little, barely enough to come into his view. He was staring down at a board with light and dark tiles, several figures spread on top of it. The sun reflected on their smooth, shiny surface so much they sparkled.

“Have you heard of the ancient Keyblade War?” he asked, one hand grasping his chin while his eyes remained trained on the figures. Again he sounded young, maybe younger than what he was now.

“Huh?” came the reply from a boy dressed in bright robes. The dark bun on top of his head rocked as he looked up with questioning eyes. After a moment though he added, “Of course I have.”

Absently he reached out and moved a piece forward, pushing it on the same tile as one of the white figures. “Long ago, Keyblade wielders waged a war over the ownership of light.” Gently he picked up the figure he just pushed away, removing it from the board.

The other boy instantly moved another white figure forward to capture his black one. “Yeah, the Master's favorite story.”

“I wonder what they planned on doing with Kingdom Hearts after...” He trailed off, studied the board for a moment, and moved a piece before he finished with, “Making it appear.”

The boy with the dark hair gestured with his hand as he replied, “Who knows?” In a moment he brought his hand back to his chin, grabbing it in a similar manner as he, too, studied the board and tried to foresee his next move. “I don't get why anyone would initiate a war.”

He couldn't help a small smirk at the words; they were so earnest and pure and simple, just like his friend feigned to be. “So,” he moved another figure forward, increasing the pressure on the other, “You know the 'Lost Masters'?”

“Who?” the dark-haired boy instantly answered and reached for a white piece. He played with it, rolled it between his fingers almost a little nervously, as he thought about his next move.

His mouth opened for a reply – he could _ feel _ it, it was so real – but before the words came out Vanitas felt a gentle shake on his shoulder. With a small grumble he blinked his eyes awake, just barely holding onto the book spread out in his lap.

“Come on, sleepyhead,” Riku chuckled as he straightened again, “Dinner won't cook itself, you know.”

Squinting his eyes shut Vanitas stifled a yawn, but he couldn't keep his head and shoulders from trembling at the effort. Another grumble came from his throat as he set the book aside, a frown on his features as he, too, got up and followed Riku outside.

Over the last three weeks, he regularly ended up napping in the study while doing more research. Vanitas blamed Ventus for it – since the evening where he crushed his stupid popsicle, the idiot kept invading his personal space. He'd always sit on the spot closest to Vanitas, remark and praise whenever he did something that wasn't destructive or evil, and even when pushed forcefully away Ventus came crawling back after a few hours. And if it wasn't Ventus who followed him like a creep, Chirithy would tail him. The study was one of the few places where Vanitas was truly safe from their naive attempts of approach.

Though, the dreams Vanitas had there were strangely... repetitive.

More often than not, he ended up playing some board game with a dark-haired boy. Sometimes he was a teen, other times a grown adult, or somewhere in between. Whenever they conversed they ended up either philosophizing over darkness and light or spoke about the Keyblade War. From the context, Vanitas figured they didn't mean the one Master Xehanort started with the current Guardians of Light. It made Vanitas wonder how many wars had already occurred in the past – and what exactly the point of initiating yet another one was. He never cared enough to bother before, but now he was curious. How couldn't he be, with how far people were ready to go for just a glimpse of Kingdom Hearts?

Vanitas was so stuck in his mind he didn't notice they were in the kitchen – until Riku dropped a book noisily onto one of the working islands. “I'll make some meatballs with sauce. Potatoes should go well with the dish,” he said and, after a quick shake of his head, Vanitas pulled the book closer and turned over the pages. By lot he was put on kitchen duty for the week along with Riku – and since his cooking skills weren't exactly existent, Riku provided a few books with various dishes. Sometimes he'd give general suggestions, but otherwise he left Vanitas to his own devices when it came to actually _ do _ the cooking.

… Safe for the seasoning. After Vanitas nearly burned all their tastebuds off on the first day, including his own, Riku took it upon himself to do the finishing touches.

Vanitas still managed to sneak some extra chili on Ventus' and Axel's plates though.

After a while he came upon a recipe for mashed potatoes. It looked tasty enough and Vanitas never had any before, so he might as well give it a try. The peeling was a little difficult at first, but he quickly got the hang of it and easily took care of the rest. Since some potatoes were pretty large he ended up cutting them up, making sure they were roughly the same size before tossing them in two large pots. Riku worked on the same island little distance away, cutting up onions and garlic and mixing them in a big bowl with some ground meat, eggs, and something that looked like flour but... rougher somehow.

As Vanitas put the pots on the stove and turned it on, Riku however looked up. “Wanna help me with the sauce for the meatballs?” he asked, nodding toward a pile of tomatoes. “If you like, you can do the seasoning, too.”

For a moment Vanitas considered the option. He wasn't particularly fond of the idea of being a help, but some liberties on the spices was pretty tempting. It was obviously meant to bribe him into doing it in the first place – Riku had long since stopped being subtle when he tried to get Vanitas to do something – and, granted, tomatoes were one of his favorite foods.

Eventually Vanitas moved to the spot opposite Riku with a knife, a cutting board, and a bowl large enough to put the tomatoes inside. Deftly he sliced the fruits effortlessly into equal pieces, popping small bits into his mouth every once in a while.

Riku shook his head with a grin when he noticed. “Just leave enough for the sauce, okay?” he chuckled as he grabbed handfuls of the gooey, squelchy mass from his bowl and formed them into balls. “Before you cook them, they need to be grounded. There's a tool for it in the cabinet next to the fridge.”

Vanitas merely shrugged, another piece of tomato disappearing behind his lips, and finished the pile. He narrowed his eyes at his wrinkled fingers, annoyed at the sight. Agreeing so quickly had him forget how moist tomatoes were; usually he'd have willed himself a pair of gloves made of darkness to keep his skin safe, but as the damage was already done it was pointless to start with that now.

Since Riku had finished with his meatballs and pushed them in the oven to cook, he ended up getting a pot and the odd metal device from the cabinet. As he slowly turned the large handle on top, he motioned Vanitas to toss in pieces of tomatoes once in a while. From what Vanitas could tell, a sort of propeller was attached to the handle and pressed the pieces against a rough grid with every turn. What came out was a viscid red mess with no skin and surprisingly few seeds.

“Okay, this should do,” Riku said once the pot was filled about two thirds. “Now you heat it up and add some prices. Salt, pepper, a bit of chili, and some basil. Give it some taste-tests in between. I'll make the rest of the tomatoes into a salad.”

Vanitas' lips curled into a dangerous grin as he carried the pot to the stove. Oh he would have put chili in alright. Though, he would probably just end up with a pinch. After all, he wanted to have some of the sauce, too.

The stuff started cooking soon enough, bubbles breaking the surface, and Vanitas made sure to keep turning around his wooden spoon as he added the spices. It was surprisingly difficult to do though. He had to add salt at least four times before it was strong enough to even taste. He was a bit more generous with the pepper and chili, only needing to adjust it twice, however the basil was so weak in taste he ended up tossing almost the entire plant in before being satisfied. Riku left him alone the entire time, though he chuckled once in a while, and only stepped closer once Vanitas nodded confidently at the spoon he just stuck in his mouth.

Swiftly Riku picked up a spoon from the counter and dipped it into the sauce, smelling at it before having a taste himself. “Hmm, it's really good. Well done.”

Vanitas looked away, but he still sneered triumphantly and stood a bit straighter at the praise. While Riku used to shower him with it to the point it was annoying, he cut it back once Vanitas showed him how he felt about them. Now they were rare enough to be genuinely meant.

Not that Vanitas would ever admit that out loud though.

“Now it can be left to simmer,” Riku said as he covered the pot and turned down the heat. “Just in time. Your potatoes should be about done for the next step.” He nodded toward Vanitas' pots. A white foam had build on their tops, wobbling with the bubbles from the boiling water, and Vanitas strode over to check on the inside. He could hardly see the floating potatoes, but when he nudged them with a spatula they felt less... sturdy than before. The book said they needed to be soft, though never specifying on how he was supposed to figure that out, however he deemed them ready and turned down the heat. From what he read, he had to pour out the water, smash the cooked potatoes, and add some butter and milk. Not the most complicated dish he gave a try yet.

The pots were heavy, and only once Vanitas reached the sink he remembered it _ might _ have been smart to get a mesh first – but, surprisingly, one was already laying in the sink, ready to be used. He slanted a glare at Riku, eyes narrowing a little more at the chuckle he received, and all but dumped the entire content of the pot into the mesh. The hot steam burned in his face, but Vanitas ignored the little pain to keep his dignity. Once all the water was drained he tossed the potatoes back into the pots before he headed to the fridge to gather milk and some butter. He figured half a bar of the butter would be good for each pot, but the recipe was vague on the correct amount of milk, so Vanitas started with a splash.

“You might need this,” Riku said and held out a metal stick with a flat base covered in holes. “You know. For mashing the potatoes.”

Scrunching up his nose – Vanitas was perfectly capable of handling the cooking on his own – he snatched the tool from Riku's hand and slammed it down on the potatoes in one of the pot.

… It turned out the potatoes were still a _ liiittle _ raw. In fact, by the time Vanitas was done with the first pot, his arm felt already sore. But he had set his mind on the dish and wanted to finish it on his own, so he bit through the mild pain and mashed the second pot until the entire content was smooth. A little more muscle-grease was all he had needed to pull through. 

After a moment of consideration Vanitas added a bit more milk, the texture still a bit too sturdy for his taste, before he tossed in salt for seasoning. A taste-test gave him the confidence to deem it finished, so he brought the pots over to the counter where he knew Riku would set down his meatball-dish once it was ready.

Surprisingly, Riku added his meatballs into the pot with the sauce to let them shimmer a little. “Guess we're about done. Wanna help me set up the table?”

Vanitas glanced over at the cabinets as he thought. “Nah,” he replied and, instead, picked up his cooking book and went to take a seat. He barely held back the sneer as he heard Riku sigh – but not out of disappointment. He sounded more like he was mildly annoyed he got stuck with that chore while Vanitas decided to take a break.

It was his own fault though; stupid Riku, actually leaving him _a_ _choice_. However it was still nice, somehow. Vanitas wasn't really used to be able to decide about anything regarding his life. He had plenty of liberties, but it would still take time for him to get used to that luxury.

Riku was just about done when Xion, Roxas, Axel, and Naminé showed up in the kitchen for dinner. They dug into the food with ease, Vanitas waiting for them to get settled before he got his own helping. They were a little hyper still from their training and he really didn't feel like being around them then. Originally he even planned to join, however he came across an interesting book about dark magic he wanted to look into instead. By how often they spared, he needed to develop one or two new tricks he could use in battle. Roxas came dangerously close to winning one too many times for his taste.

Much to his own relief, Vanitas finished just in time for the Departure-gang to waltz in. He managed to avoid Ventus for most of the day and, granted, he wanted to keep it that way.

Cerulean eyes were glued on his back when he walked straight for the sink, opting to just dump his dishes there and make his exit.

“What did Vanitas make?” he heard Ventus ask, from somewhere close to the pots.

Riku put down his glass before he replied, “The mashed potatoes. Oh, and he also made the sauce.”

“Really?!” Xion gasped, her eyes surely wide as saucers. “Van-Van, it's _ delicious _! When did you learn to season so well?”

“Figures though. It has chili in it,” Axel remarked with a chuckle. They fell into an easy conversation, discussing and praising the sauce to the point Vanitas felt his skin prickle. It felt equal parts good and bad – good because the compliments sounded fairly genuine, and bad because of the all the attention he received. To make matters even worse, Ventus was _ actually humming _ as he loaded his plate with mashed potatoes and sauce, carefully avoiding to add meatballs. A smile was on his lips, as if he was excited and pleased to have a taste.

Before he even realized it, Vanitas crossed the distance and knocked the plate right out of Ventus' hand. It hit the floor with a noisy crack, instantly breaking into a mess of food and porcelain. Ventus had even yelped at the sudden touch, his wide eyes locking with Vanitas' before they lowered to the floor, the stupid smile entirely wiped from his face.

Seeing him so distraught was sickly satisfying to Vanitas, even if it would only last for a moment.

“Vanitas!” Aqua snapped, already approaching Ventus and gently rubbing his back in circles. “I'm sorry, Ven. We'll get you a new helping right away.”

“What gives, man?” Roxas asked from his spot on the table, voice noticeably angry. Since he used to hang out with Xion and Axel so much, Vanitas often forgot how close he was to Ventus, too. Probably because of their shared faces.

Silently Terra started cleaning up the mess on the floor, though he shot several glares in Vanitas' direction as he worked. But mostly he gave Ventus looks filled with pity, as if he became the target of a horrible crime.

But that was how it always was, right? Poor little Ven. Getting coddled and babied so his weak little heart didn't ever get as much as a bruise. Poor little Ven, with everyone fanning over him over the slightest misfortune, ready to cheer him up and make his pain go away.

Poor little Ven.

_ Poor little Ven. _

_ Poor. Little. _ ** _Ven_**_. _

Before his irritation showed in form of Unversed, Vanitas stomped out of the kitchen and down the corridors, hands clenched so hard into fists his nails dug into his palms.

\----------------------------------------------------

After trying to read the same passage for the third time, Vanitas threw the book against the nearest wall in his bedroom, a growl rumbling low in his throat. Despite trying, his thoughts kept wandering back to Ventus and how he got to have everything thrown into his face.

For the most part, Vanitas managed to ignore the injustice. He chose to ignore the throbbing of his heart when he looked at the wide library with all that wisdom in it, he chose to ignore the tightness in his chest whenever he got to eat yet something new and tasty, he chose to ignore the itch in his eyes when he stood under the shower or laid between the soft covers of his bed.

He chose to ignore how Ventus got all that while he was left in a vast desert, feeding off darkness and sleeping on hard, rocky floors while his body trembled from the cold and loneliness. Ignoring was much easier than dealing with those feelings, all the more since he was pretty sure he'd end up rioting if he allowed himself to spiral that far.

However if there was a moment where he could give Ventus a glimpse of his own reality, Vanitas was too weak to not give in. Though a spilled Dinner hardly compared to years of isolation and abuse.

Still, Vanitas had no doubt the lights would confront him with his immature action as soon as they found him. That was why, instead of returning to the study, he went back to his bedroom for a while. However since it was likely the second place they would look for him and he couldn't get a clear thought anyway, he decided to wander aimlessly through the corridors. His feet carried him all the way over to the apprentice's side of the castle, a scowl permanently on his face and hands stuck into the pocket of his jacket.

Although the Masters would unlikely look for him there, the risk to run into stupid Ventus were pretty high. Maybe Vanitas should have thought that over before-

“Van-Van?”

Closing his eyes Vanitas stopped in his tracks, drawing in a deep breath. He took a moment to steel himself before he turned and glanced up, watching as Xion closed the distance between them. “How come you're here?” she asked with furrowed eyebrows and a cock of her head.

Vanitas simply shrugged in response.

For a moment Xion studied him silently, her head moving to tilt in the other direction as she thought over her words. “... Wanna come hang out in Naminé's room? We haven't really sat down and talked like we used at Radiant Garden since we came here,” she eventually proposed.

Now that he thought about it, Vanitas had to agree; the three of them used to meet up and talk about this and that, the hardships of being a whole person and how complicated feelings and emotions were. It wasn't like one of the classes of Ansem where they were aiming for a conclusion at the end of their discussion. It was just idle chit-chat, an interesting pass-time for when they weren't up for much. If one of them struggled with something and brought it up they'd offer suggestions, or they wouldn't. There were no obligations, no strings attached.

“Sure,” Vanitas replied, rolling his eyes at the grin stretching across Xion's face.

“Naminé should be up in her bedroom. Let's go!” Excited Xion headed for the stairs and led the way upwards, a bounce in her step that made her even slip a few times. Vanitas followed at a calmer pace, ears straining for noises that suggested someone else was close-by, but it seemed like the others were still out.

Xion didn't bother to knock – she never did, really – and barged into Naminé's room as if it was her own. “Heya Naminé! What are you up to?” she called, the grin still obvious in her voice.

Vanitas was mildly surprised to see Naminé was still calmly sitting at her desk despite all the noise. In fact, she hadn't even flinched once Xion threw her door open. From the angle he couldn't entirely see what she was doing, but her upper body was slightly bend over and her right arm moved a little, the noise of a pen scratching across paper the only real noise in the room.

“Oh, you're drawing again?” Arms behind her back Xion walked up to the desk and peered over her shoulder. Vanitas exhaled softly as he closed the door, not making as much as a sound as he did. “Wow! They keep getting better and better!” Xion remarked with a gasp and straightened, looking back at Vanitas. “Hey, Van-Van, come here and see, too!”

At the mention of his name, Naminé did finally react:

With a squeak she sat up straight, so fast her head bumped into Xion's hard enough to make her stumble back. Wide-eyed she turned around, staring at Vanitas for a few long heartbeats, before she quickly turned back to her desk and scuffled the papers together.

Intrigued Vanitas approached with a few long steps – just in time to catch a glimpse on one of the sheets.

Quickly he reached out and snatched it up, Naminé reaching out with a gasp. She tried to fish it out of his grasp but Vanitas walked a few steps back, holding the picture with both of his hands while easily sidestepping whenever Naminé tried to dive for him, cheeks pink with a blush and bottom lip trembling nervously.

The drawing showed him in a battle stance, Void Gear held securely in his hand and lips curled into his signature-sneer. It was very detailed and colored; from the background, he'd say it showed him on the training grounds.

Since he studied the picture close enough, Vanitas allowed Naminé to snatch it back. “D-don't look!” she, uselessly, demanded with a ridiculous attempt at a glare. Her face was still entirely pink, the color only amplified by her bright hair, and her lips pressed together so hard they formed a thin line.

The sneer Vanitas flashed her was full of tease. “What's with that look? That picture is hardly worth being embarrassed for. Unless...” He leaned a little closer to her, golden eyes flashing with mischief, “You drew me somewhat differently...?”

Naminé's eyes grew even wider, mouth hanging open in shock. Cackling Vanitas straightened again and called, “Hey Xion, take the sketchbook!”

“No!” Naminé instantly shrieked, jumping back toward her desk in an attempt to safe the book. However Xion had already taken it, giggling as she started running around the room with Naminé hot on her heels. Eventually she tackled Xion into the ground, but before they landed she managed to hand the book over to Vanitas instead. He held it securely in his hand, the fingers of his other teasing the edge of the cover as he pretended to pry it open. On the floor Naminé glanced up at him, tears gathering in her eyes and almost spilling over as he kept playing with the book in his hands

After a few more seconds though, Vanitas snorted and held it out to her. “You didn't think I'd really look at it, did you?” he asked once Naminé took the sketchbook back with trembling hands, safely clutching it against her chest. “We were just teasing. Right?”

“Right,” Xion instantly confirmed, finally sitting up.

“That was mean though,” Naminé whispered, still holding onto the sketchbook as she wiped her eyes.

“I don't get why you're fussing over them. They look decent enough.” As he spoke Vanitas wandered off to the bed and made himself comfortable on it, piling up the pillow and blanket so he had a backrest.

Xion boosted herself up to sit on the desk, a knowing smile over her lips. “Naminé's shy, you know.” She laughed as Naminé pushed her off before she started putting everything away.

Only then Vanitas started properly taking in the room:

Unlike Xion's and his own, this bedroom had a personal touch. Pictures of landscapes decorated the walls and above the bed were a few drawings showing people. Vanitas easily recognized Xion and Roxas on one. Axel was hard to miss, too, with his red hair, and he thought to have spotted Riku as well, though he wore some odd purple clothes. He was surprised to find himself on one of the pictures – sitting on a rock under a tree, eyes locked on something in the far.

There was another two drawings with him though: On one he was bend over a few books and papers, Xion sitting next to him with a thoughtful expression on her face. It was a scene from when they studied back at Radiant Garden and he started giving her some private lessons so she could get her homework done faster. The other one showed all three of them, sitting on a round, white table with a colorful sundae in its middle, smiles on their faces as they scooped up some ice-cream.

The two pictures were so sharp and detailed they could be easily mistaken for photos. And, surprisingly, Vanitas felt himself taken back to those moments when he looked at them, the memory pushing into the front of his mind. He could almost taste the ice-cream on his tongue and hear their shared snickers and laughters.

Absently he stretched out his hand toward the group picture, longing spreading in his chest. “Can you make more?” he asked, eyes trained on the drawing.

“More what?” Naminé returned, confused.

“I want a picture. Like that one,” Vanitas clarified, intently pointing at the picture of them with the sundae.

Following the direction of his arm Naminé hummed thoughtfully. “I think I can manage. It might take a bit, though.”

“Why?” Vanitas snapped his head around to stare at her, eyes slightly narrowing. He didn't want to wait for his picture longer than necessary. In fact, since he was on it, he had the right to even claim the one Naminé hung on her wall. How dare she deny him like that!

Nervous once more, Naminé fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, pointedly avoiding his glare. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, no words coming forth, and she picked so hard on her shirt a thread came loose.

“I,” she began, trailing off with a little sigh. “I've... been...” Again she stopped, lips pressing together and blush returning to her cheeks.

“Spit it out,” Vanitas demanded with a growl in his voice. As he sat up Xion stirred and walked over to the side of the bed, eyes sharp and alert as if she was readying herself to step in.

Face burning, Naminé turned to a small cabinet and rummaged around it. She mumbled something under her breath as she moved canvases and papers and books around, eventually pulling out a rather large painting. Wordlessly and with lowered eyes she held it out to Vanitas, the canvas shaking a little from the tremble of her arm.

“It was supposed to be a surprise,” she timidly whispered as Vanitas took the canvas and turned it face-up, studying it intently.

Again it showed a scene from Radiant Garden. Rocks made up the background, the rough wall only interrupted to show a vast valley below. A few copper pipes snaked down one side of the drawing, so detailed they looked real, but the main focus was on the group of three sitting in the middle. Vanitas recognized them as Xion, Naminé, and himself, their hands joined together in a promise he made long ago. They looked a little worse for wear, bodies covered in bruises and dust, but their faces were bright and relaxed, even a little cheery.

“Why would you make this...?” Vanitas tentatively asked, something strangely warm tugging at his heart. The picture was beautiful and held so, so much meaning to it. He couldn't understand why something that precious would be simply... _ given _ to him.

Gathering enough courage to look up, Naminé glanced right back at him as she replied, “It's proof of our connection. Even if we're not together all the time, our promise is a link we share anywhere, anytime.” She started playing with the hem of her shirt again, pulling at the loose thread some more. “You're my friend. Always. And I wanted you to remember that.”

Unsure what to do with that, Vanitas lowered the canvas into his lap. The picture was almost completely colored, but a few spots were still missing, though he could barely control the urge to take it instantly to his room and hang it on a place where he could always see it. He felt so overwhelmed... not even Unversed tugged on the corner of his mind. What was he supposed to do in such a situation?

No matter how hard he thought, nothing useful came him to mind, the odd ball of warmth was still twitching in his chest. And so Vanitas did the thing he knew best:

He mocked the effort.

A sneer on his lips he commented, “Hm, I think you only wanted to draw me naked.” He tilted his head just so, cackling once Naminé flinched and the red returned to her cheeks. “Why else would you decide on a scene like this? Where all I have on are some _ tight _ pants?”

The darker her blush became, the louder he cackled. Even Xion started to blush, her eyes big and blinking slowly as she studied Naminé, who took the canvas back with a series of muffled noises in the back of her throat.

Still snickering Vanitas leaned back into the covers, shoulders twitching with his laughter. The warmth in his chest remained though, squirming around like something alive, something that almost fluttered like a small bird. And despite all the odds, he came to a small realization:

Ventus may have had a happy life basked in light while he was left to rot in the dark. But at least Vanitas had the opportunity to claim some of that light for himself, even if he had to fight long and hard for it.

Just like Naminé said – they had a connection. One he planned on keeping for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Sssssshhh... Let's pretend it's still June... v.v  
Sorry for the long wait guys. Heat and Covid and work haven't been so kind to me and I struggled a bit harder with my depression.  
I didn't want to leave you hanging much longer, so this chap is just partly betad. Any mistakes you find are (c) Taua! 
> 
> Alternate Title for this chap:  
Stages of life. Vanitas' current level: Brat
> 
> At least I'm working on the next chap already. I'll try to keep at it. 
> 
> Regards and stay safe,  
-T


	21. Storms And Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, wanna read more about Vanitas? And Naminé and some Replica-Riku, too?  
Then check out the Garden of Shadows Fanzine :D  
https://gumroad.com/gardenofshadowszine

It had started harmless enough.

A few days after the small incident in the kitchen – to which, thankfully, nobody gave him an earful about – something dark had gathered in the sky near the mountains. Vanitas had noticed it when he glanced out of the window during Aqua's usual lecture about the importance of healing spells.

For the record – he _had_ tried learning them, but he had zero affinity for actually making them work.

Anyway. Vanitas had noticed the dark things in the sky and, mesmerized, took off to inspect them closer. They looked like clouds, but instead of being milky white their color was more of a dark gray. In fact, the closer he got to the mountain side the darker they became and the wind picked up, too. Oddly enough noise rumbled from the sky as well, almost like the low growl of a large Unversed, however Vanitas wasn't the slightest bit afraid and kept going.

Eventually he came to a cliff, head tilted all the way back to stare up as he stood directly under the clouds. A flash of light made him jump, followed by the strange rumble, and then something wet hit his cheek. When he wiped it up with his fingers they came off with a clear, scentless liquid, but before Vanitas could decide whether to give it a lick more of the clear drops came down – until it was literally pouring from the sky.

He'd read about storms before, however the books did the real thing no justice _at all._

Vanitas was sure it was more water than from a high-class spell, the rain hitting his skin quite hard but not enough to actually hurt. By the third lightning he stopped flinching, too, and instead watched in awe how the elements worked together without any manipulation from magic. He was so fascinated he hardly noticed his clothes getting thoroughly soaked, however eventually the chill got strong enough to make him shiver. The rain kept falling harder, too, and since he still wore the damn shackles of light he couldn't simply walk through a dark corridor to get back to his room.

At least Vanitas could summon an adapted version of his armor and helmet to keep the water off as he, cursing colorfully, jogged back to the castle.

Stupid clouds, distracting him and-

Short before the huge doors of the castle Vanitas suddenly stilled, the rain patting down on his helmet as he stared ahead.

He could have sworn... a person just stood there, hands braced against the doors, however as soon as Vanitas blinked the image was gone.

Shaking his head he climbed the stairs and entered the castle, his shoes and suit squelching as he walked over the marble floor. The doors fell closed noisily behind him, the sound echoing in the large entrance. Quickly Vanitas discarded his suit, water dripping from his chin and hair as soon as he was free, and now that he was out of the wind he noticed a slight trembling on his hands.

Damn, it had been colder than he thought.

Arms slung around himself Vanitas marched down the left side, ignoring the wet trail he left behind as he headed to his room. He'd got so used to being comfortable the slight chill from the rain was actually bothering enough to want to get rid of it – best with a nice, hot shower. Riku had just recently got some new soap that Vanitas had yet to steal from, too.

However once he looked up, the silhouette was back. The clear outline of a person who walked little distance from him, but faded in and out.

Eyes narrowed Vanitas followed it around a corner and down a few corridors, shower and chill completely forgotten. “Who are you?” he asked at some point, but the spiritual figure just kept walking ahead. The closer he looked the surer Vanitas became:

That was the dark-haired boy from his dreams.

Teeth gritted Vanitas pursued him – they went up stairs, down corridors, into dead-ends and then back. The distance to the boy never became less, and if Vanitas ever got closer he simply faded out entirely and reappeared several feet ahead. “What the fuck do you want?!” he demanded at some point, fingers twitching for Void Gear and magic crackling between his fingers.

If he aimed it right, he was certain he could shoot a spell into the jerk's back.

However a heartbeat before Vanitas had enough they rounded yet another corner – and he bumped into some sort of obstacle, toppling it over and nearly stumbling himself. Only after a moment he recognized the oversized teddy-bear by his feet as Chirithy.

“Owy,” it grumbled as it got back on its feet. “Please look where you're going or you might get hurt-Oh no, Vanitas!" Chirithy gasped as soon as it realized it was him, "You're completely soaked! Were you outside?!" It turned its pouch around and reached in, effortlessly producing a towel which it instantly threw at Vanitas' face. Before he could remove it, Chirithy already climbed his body like a tree and settled on his shoulders, nibble paws rubbing the towel against his dripping hair. "We need to get you dry and warm asap!"

With a huff Vanitas swatted at the paws, however he opted to search rather than discussing with Chirithy. But no matter how much he squinted his eyes – the phantom had disappeared.

Maybe… it had just been another dream after all…?

  
  


\--------------------------------------------

  
  


Chirithy refused to leave him alone, so Vanitas took it along to his room to grab a change of clothes before he headed to the bathroom. The plan to enjoy a hot shower was cut short due to the unrequired company, but still the soothing spray warmed Vanitas all the way to his core. Chirithy insisted he'd dry his hair thoroughly, so by the time he walked out it was just a little damp still.

The storm outside was in full swing; rain hit the side of the castle and the wind howled so loud Vanitas noticed it even through the thick walls. At least he made it back before it got really bad. He wouldn't be surprised to hear practical training was canceled. Not like _he_ would have been bothered – the rain and chill were annoying, but still much better than desert-heat really – however soft Aqua surely wouldn't risk her _precious friends _getting sick.

With Chirithy perched on his shoulders he made his way toward the hidden study, figuring he might as well get some reading done. Xion had texted him a few times, but Vanitas didn't even bother to read them. Whatever it was they were up to, he'd rather do his own thing. 

Unless they were fighting. He'd  _ never _ turn down a chance to hit someone.

Vanitas' steps echoed lightly as he took the stairs downwards, however once he entered the public area he made a face like he just bit into a lemon.

Just his luck, really.

Riku was the first to notice him and waved his hand minutely. The gesture was enough to make Xion stir – instantly she turned around, cheeks blown up as she fixed him with a glare. "Van-Van!" she called, a scolding undertone in her voice, "Stop ignoring my texts! Jerk!"

Naminé giggled lowly before she tapped her on the shoulder. "We can see your cards."

Gasping Xion whirled around again, her hand holding the cards clutched against her chest. "Don't look, you cheaters!"

"It's not cheating when you wave them around like that." Axel chuckled as he reached out, prying one of the cards Xion was holding out of her fingers. Grinning widely he threw it down along with one of his own before he tilted toward Roxas expectantly.

Entirely focused Roxas picked a card, studied it for a moment, and then discarded it with one of his own. "We're playing Old Maid," Riku explained as Vanitas watched Naminé hesitantly pick a card from Roxas' hand. "It's an easy game. You can join once the round's over."

For a moment Vanitas looked around the sofas – and narrowed his eyes once he spotted Ventus staring at him with large, hopeful eyes.

"No chance," Vanitas spat with a snarl.

Ventus stared a moment longer, his lips pressed tightly together, before he hung his head with a sigh. "Thanks for the game. I think I had enough though," he whispered as he rose from the couch. He wasn't holding any cards anyway.

At the motion Roxas perked up. "You don't have to leave, Ven. Let the jerk act like a brat." He wasn't even pretending to keep the frustration from his face, even spiced it up with a scowl. Vanitas simply snorted with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head, hands coming up to sink into the pocket of his jacket – only to helplessly hang in mid-air since he wasn't wearing it.

Agitated Chirithy hopped off his shoulders and moved to settle near Ventus. "Can you teach me how to play?" it asked innocently, its small eyes staring up at Ventus intently.

When he started babbling, Vanitas snorted again and turned away. He wasn't interested in stupid games anyway. However thanks to the new angle he noticed another pair in the room, seated on one of the tables in the corner. A familiar board with different levels and tiles laid between them while dozens of shiny figures stood around it, leaving only a few dark and a single white piece back.

Strangely mesmerized Vanitas approached, golden eyes trained on the figures and the board. He hardly noticed Terra lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck while his other hovered over the white piece uncertainty.

It wasn't exactly the same layout as back then – but still, it should…

Confidently Vanitas swatted Terra's hand away and grabbed the white piece. He faintly noticed Aqua chiding him, however ignored it in favor of moving the piece with the star-shaped tip all the way back to Terra's end of the board.

The moment the figure touched down, copies of the figure magically appeared, flanking it with three on each side.

Broad smirk on his lips Vanitas straightened again, enjoying Aqua's and Terra's baffled expressions. "How?" she eventually asked, curiosity and a bit of confusion reflecting in her eyes as she locked them with his.

Before Vanitas consciously decided to he already replied, "Some light comes from the past."

The dark-haired boy in his dreams said the exact same words, only moments before Vanitas woke up. In fact… he only remembered the conversation once he saw the lone white figure on the board.

He quietly chuckled when the curiosity in Aqua's gaze was replaced by envy. "You know how to play?" she asked, leaning briefly back on her chair. Her arms crossed before her chest, entirely defensive, and if he looked closely enough Vanitas could tell her eyebrow was twitching.

"Maybe," he taunted with a leisure shrug of his shoulders. The way Aqua's eyes narrowed to slits made him sneer. It was like poking a beehive with a stick, prodding the insects inside to go berserk.

However before Vanitas could dish out another tease Terra noisily moved his chair. "Wanna take over?" he promoted, voice so calm it sounded gentle, as he motioned at the board.

A heartbeat later, Vanitas already sat on one of the chairs and reached out to make his move.

\--------------------------------------------

It turned out the game was, in point of fact, more complex than what Vanitas assumed.

After losing the first match – which was mostly Terra's fault, given he played as white before – they placed the figures back into their starting position and had their first real game.

Unfortunately, Vanitas showed early on he had little experience with King Clash; he moved figures in ways they weren't supposed to given the rules and Aqua's moves were too different from what he knew from his dreams to act accordingly.

Once the second match was lost, Vanitas demanded them to switch colors. He always played the black side in the dreams – surely that was why he messed up before. And, to be fair, he did perform better, however still lacked some fundamental wisdom of the rules. To top it off Aqua was quite the opponent, fierce and cold and calculated in ways she rarely showed in her fighting. Sneaky, too – only after a while Vanitas realized she was showing him the ropes with casual comments and subtle motions with her hands.

Since she wasn't being obvious enough for the others to notice, Vanitas decided against calling her out on it. She did however explain the game more noisily once Riku and Naminé came to sit with them, curious about what they were doing. In return, Terra went off and played cards with the rest, claiming he enjoyed Black Peter – which was apparently the same game as Old Maid – more anyway.

"The Master often played with us," Aqua told away as she moved one of the white figures. "King Clash is about strategy rather than raw force. Some figures are much stronger than the rest, like the Great Wielder, but as a lone figure he's easily beaten. This game teaches you to keep an eye on the greater picture rather than a single clash."

Naminé nodded as she kept her eyes on the board. "The lights and darknesses have to work together like a team."

"Exactly," Aqua confirmed with a smile. However the pride in her eyes made room for melancholy as she added, "Since Terra and I were the only apprentices, Master wanted to teach us to think bigger through the game. Back when he trained there were more Keyblade wielders around. I've only started to understand the importance of his teachings once I returned into the realm of light." She picked up one of the white figures Vanitas captured a few rounds ago, looking at it intensely.

"Your master was really creative. Master Yen Sid and Mickey never really taught us such a lesson," Riku commented leisurely.

Aqua shrugged at that. "Sora and you are mostly self-taught. I'm just glad we're so many now that King Clash can return to simply being a game." She put the figure back down before she regarded Riku with a newfound smile. "If you like, I can teach you. We can play whenever you feel like." For a moment she glanced across the board, her smile turning into a grin. "I think someone else might appreciate that, too."

Vanitas just barely furrowed his eyebrows at that. "Instead of idly chatting," he said as he moved one of his pieces forward, capturing one of Aqua's and also endangering her king, "you should focus on the battle ahead,  _ Master _ ." A sneer stretched across his lips as he removed her piece, the figure dangling between his fingers as he perched his chin on top of his hand.

The giggle Aqua released was playful and bright. "Oh I am focused," she retorted and easily dodged the attack – by moving a piece in a position where it shielded her king and also threatened Vanitas' Great Wielder.

This time the frown was obvious when Vanitas dropped the piece and laced his hands together under his chin, golden eyes flicking across the board to gouge his options.

"I'd like to learn it, too," Naminé piped up.

"That's the spirit." Affectionately Aqua pet her head, ruffling up the blond locks. Vanitas merely rolled his eyes at the display and swiftly made his move, taking advantage of the distraction.

Still Aqua expertly moved her figure to block his next attempt.

_ Damn it. _

"The Master would be proud of your eagerness. I'm lucky to have you as my apprentice." With that Aqua pulled back and focused entirely on the board. The figures were scattered mostly, but Vanitas could tell the game was slightly in her favor. He had to stop her advances or he'd be forced into defense.

However then he finally noticed a familiar pattern – and so Vanitas took his Caster and moved it into the last third of Aqua's side, leaving it apparently alone.

Since the piece didn't threaten any of her vital figures, Aqua moved into the offensive and advanced with her Great Wielder. Vanitas response was immediate; he engaged his own Great Wielder with Aqua's, however didn't capture it. Instead his new position put the King in danger – and as Aqua moved to capture Vanitas' Wielder she stopped her hand mid-air, blinking in confusion as realization slowly dawned on her.

By moving his Caster, Vanitas was just one turn away from winning. If she captured Vanitas' Great Wielder, he'd have to simply push his Master two fields forward to put her into checkmate. However she had to shield her King and would be forced to put another figure in the way – which, regardless of the kind, Vanitas would capture with his Wielder and put her into another kind of checkmate.

Vanitas didn't even try to hide the triumphant sneer as he leaned back on his chair, hands crossed behind his head. It was satisfying to see Aqua in such a hopeless situation, even if it was merely during a silly game. He wondered if she would give him the satisfaction of playing on, but even before he finished his thought Aqua already put the tip of her finger on top of her King and knocked him over.

"Well done. I've seen this situation dozens of times, but never managed to break through it like you did." Aqua was still studying the board as she rolled her King around with her finger. "Guess Eraqus' Ultimate Move had a flaw after all."

Vanitas was just about to put the pieces back for another game when Aqua spoke – and suddenly a flash blinded his sight, accompanied with an agonizing throb of his entire skull.

Eraqus.

Between the flashes Vanitas saw pictures – snapshots of moments featuring a boy, teen, man with dark hair.

_ Eraqus… _

Vanitas heard the name over and over in his ears, always pronounced with different emotions. Sometimes gentle… other times growled or shouted.

_ ErAqUs… _

The image before Vanitas' eyes changed – became more steady and focused, as if he'd been running and suddenly jolted to a stop.

He was back in the room with the see-through curtains, sitting on the windowsill in front of a board with figures scattered around it.

"I call this 'Eraqus' Ultimate Move'. Pretty cool, huh?" The dark-haired boy- _Eraqus_ grinned as he motioned at the board, a happy glint in his eyes as he spoke.

Vanitas felt himself huff, though he had no control whatsoever over his body. It felt like he was simply a bystander, looking through someone else's eyes.

"Just wait," he said as he reached out to rearrange the pieces. "That trick won't work twice on me. Next time I'll have a counter-move ready."

Eraqus briefly narrowed his eyes, but the grin remained on his lips. "I'm looking forward to it, Xehanort."

  
  


\--------------------------------------------

Ragged breathing and gasping reached Vanitas' ears.

Only after a while he realized the noises came from him – and that was when he focused on his chest and heartbeat and tried to calm down.

He didn't feel sick; his body was agitated and tensed, but not from spiraling too far into an emotion. It felt more like he was generally overtaxed by… what? The flashbacks? The dreams?

The fact he posed as none other than _Master_ _Xehanort_ in those visions?

Whatever it was, Vanitas was so used to sensory overdoses he knew how to properly react. His breathing turned steadier with every inhale and the blur in his sight gradually disappeared, too.

However that also meant he clearly saw all the people gathered around him.

Riku and Aqua were having a heated discussion, Terra hovering between the two with slightly lifted arms, as if he tried to dispel the tension. Axel stood near them, too, just as uncertain as Terra, while Roxas was quietly speaking to Xion. Ventus and Chirithy were nowhere to be seen first, but as Vanitas uncurled – when had he gotten on the floor anyway? - from his cramped position he just hurried back with a glass of water, the liquid splashing along the rim.

Vanitas flinched when a hand found its way to his forehead, nibble fingers gently carding through his hair. "Vanitas? Are you back with us?" Naminé quietly asked – and instantly everyone around him turned silent.

"Van-Van!" Xion gasped as she knelt next to him, worry painted across her entire face.

"Are you okay?" Roxas asked as he approached. He didn't sit down, but with his hands on his thighs he leaned closer anyway.

Gingerly Vanitas touched his temple, hissing as another jolt of pain rushed through his skull. "My head," he whispered through clenched teeth.

He was so focused on the pain he hardly heard Riku growling something under his breath. "I _told_ you," Aqua responded somewhat strained, "I haven't done anything!"

"Then why would Vanitas use a barrier to keep you off?" Riku asked in return, arms crossed before his chest as he fixed her with a glare.

Some of his confusion must have shown on his face, because suddenly Vanitas saw Naminé push deeper into his space. "You suddenly cradled your head and seemed in pain. When Aqua tried to help, you created a barrier and kept her away."

Eyebrows furrowed Vanitas sat up and looked down at his hands, flexing his fingers.

He had… created a barrier? It never worked before, though Vanitas studied and tried hard to make it work. Eventually he accepted the magic he'd need for it probably sourced in light and he wouldn't be able to do it. Although he used it unawarely, actually casting the spell in the first place was a step in the right direction. Once he fully controlled it, he'd finally be able to keep annoying people off his back for good.

He was still glancing at his hands when a glass of water appeared in his view – in a hand attached to none other than Ventus.

With a dark scowl and a threatening growl, Vanitas inched away from him as if offended.

He was just about to slap it out of idiot Ventus' hand when Axel's chuckle reached his ears. "Can't be too bad if you're already back to cold-shouldering Ven," he commented with a smirk, shifting the attention back to him.

Aqua and Riku glanced at Vanitas, then at each other, before Aqua eventually approached him. "Can I ask you to follow my finger with your eyes?" she said, one hand already lifted and holding up her index-finger. Slowly she moved it from left to right, Vanitas' staring at the digit intently. The headache was still present, but it had died down to a shallow throb compared to the previous agony.

After a while Aqua dropped her hand with a nod. "You don't have a concussion."

Naminé sighed in relief, so hard her breath puffed against Vanitas' face. "But then… Where did the pain come from?" she asked after a moment.

"I don't know," Aqua admitted with a grim expression. "Did you notice something out of the ordinary lately? Aches, trouble with moving?"

Vanitas' lip curled at the question. Envisioning being Master Xehanort certainly _was_ something he'd label out of the ordinary, but he wasn't going to rub that into Aqua's face. Or anyone's.

"I wonder about the barrier, too," Riku quietly mused. A heartbeat later he already grabbed his own chin and narrowed his eyes in what Vanitas recognized was his attempt at looking wise and masterly. All it did was making him snort and stifle a chuckle though.

"It's pretty obvious, if you ask me."

Instantly Vanitas turned his head around, fixing Ventus with a glare colder than an ice-spell, however its target merely shrugged his shoulders. "Vanitas doesn't like you," he said to Aqua, "So why would he want you to touch him?"

Ventus said that so matter-of-fact, so deadpan, that everyone fell silent again. But then Roxas snickered along with Xion and Terra snorted so loudly Aqua's cheeks turned pink. She glared at him, betrayal written all over her face, and Terra had to turn away to stifle his chuckle while Riku's shoulders twitched at how hard he held back his laughter.

"Well," Axel began, one of his hands rubbing the back of his neck, "Ven _does_ have a point alright."

Clearing her throat Aqua sat up again – she had knelt on the floor as she examined Vanitas – and crossed her arms before her chest almost sulky. Some of the others had quietly laughed at her but stopped once she fixed them with a glare, but after a heartbeat her gaze softened and she joined them with a giggle.

Only Vanitas remained silent, staring daggers at Ventus as everyone unwound around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Ugh, we are having a heatwave here and it has been killing me... I think I'll keep things slow for a while longer, especially since I have some stuff going on in RL now. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chap!   
For the record, no damn clue how the chess-game in KH is called, how the rules are, or how the figures are called... xD   
I just threw together some rules from European chess and Shogi. Seems legid enough xD 
> 
> Also, yeah, Vanitas is a sore looser.   
And Aqua is a skilled gamer. 
> 
> Kind regards and stay healthy,   
-T


	22. Change Of Perspective

With narrowed eyes Vanitas studied the approaching fireball, but didn't move to deflect it. Instead he focused on his magic, lips moving in a silent spell, hand tightening around the handle of his Keyblade…

A split second before the fire connected with his chest he realized his spell didn't work and jumped out of the way. However he had hesitated so long it nicked one of his upper arms anyway. "Fuck!"

Across from him Riku straightened, his free hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You can't only rely on darkness for your fights. Use. The. Light!"

Gritting his teeth Vanitas stamped his foot once. "I'm pure darkness," he growled with narrowed eyes, "I don't _have_ any light to use!"

"You're not even _ trying,_" Riku growled back, his eyes narrowing as well.

"Because it's _ pointless_." Vanitas pulled his lips back in a snarl, his frustration growing so much two Scrappers appeared next to him. With a roar he swung Void Gear at them, crushing them under the strength of his blow. The emotions returned to him along with the grounding pain killing the Unversed always brought and he found himself breathing a little easier.

It had only stopped raining that morning when Vanitas bullied Riku into training with him. Ever since the game of King Clash he'd tried to summon a barrier, however with no success at all. He figured a threatening situation would trigger whatever instinct had him create it the first time and hence annoyed Riku until he agreed.

Unfortunately Riku's dark Firas provoked not the slightest reaction from him.

Frustrated Vanitas got back into his battle stance, ready for the next attack, but Riku only stared at him for a long moment - before he suddenly dismissed Braveheart and relaxed.

"That's it," he declared, plain and simple.

So plain and simple at first Vanitas didn't really comprehend his words. After a moment though his mind caught up and he bared his teeth in a large snarl.

"What do you mean, 'that's it'?"

"Exactly as I said." Easily Riku approached, his steps long and calm. "I won't keep throwing spells at you meaninglessly. Especially since you're waiting longer and longer to dodge them."

The corner of Vanitas' mouth twitched at the last remark. Damn. He didn't think Riku would notice he was purposefully trying to trigger himself.

But that didn't mean Vanitas was just going to _accept_ him quitting.

"Fine. I don't _need_ help anyway," Vanitas snarled and channeled his frustration. Black miasma engulfed him as a couple of Scrappers manifested around him, hissing maliciously.

His lips pulled into a sneer when Riku visibly flinched. Granted, it had been a while since the last Unversed he summoned up at will. Usually Vanitas had enough of a grip on his emotions to keep them from spawning, bringing him one step closer to his former state.

However the startle quickly wore off - and instead Riku's eyes filled with compassion as he glanced back. "You think hurting yourself will make a difference?" he asked, low and calm. The Scrappers eyed him warily, but made no move to attack him.

Vanitas may haven't summoned them lately, however the Unversed still followed his every command. Unless he willed them to, they wouldn't put as much as a scratch on Riku. But he didn't need to know that - so Vanitas had a Scrapper swing out when Riku tried to approach it.

However, Vanitas had to admit he had a point. If he hadn't managed to create a barrier under Riku's attacks, he doubted his Unversed would far much better. They were just extensions of his own feelings and hardly something he felt threatened by. Manifesting them had been more or a… spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, slightly more conscious than when they appeared by accident.

"Any bright ideas then, _ Master_?" Vanitas taunted as he finally lowered his Keyblade. The Scrappers remained though, of only to visually remind Riku he was dealing with something hardly human to begin with.

Ever so slightly Riku relaxed, though he kept from reaching out to the Scrappers anymore. "Use the light," he simply repeated. As soon as Vanitas groaned he added, "If you don't want to, try at least to open your spirit. Maybe you'll figure it out if you look at it from another perspective."

Annoyed Vanitas rested his free hand against his hip with a frown. "And how's that supposed to help?"

Humming lowly Riku lifted his hand and grabbed his chin in thought, however after a moment he jerked and tore his eyes open again. "Aqua's sparing match when we first arrived," he said in a rush.

"Yeah?" Vanitas supplied after a moment of silence, one eyebrow delicately curved in clear suspicion.

"Xion, Naminé, and you against Lea, Ventus, and Terra. After Ventus used Aero you couldn't properly hit him." Riku stared at him with bright, interested eyes. "Can you tell why?"

Vanitas huffed and rolled his eyes. "That's because that idiot doesn't just _use_ Aero. He might as well have grown a pair of wings after he casted it."

"That's one way to put it," Riku remarked with a slight chuckle, but instantly sobered up again. "How would you usually have acted?"

Vanitas rolled his eyes again, however decided to play along. "I'd have phased above him," he dryly replied.

"Why didn't you?"

Vanitas shot him a glare.

"C'mon. Humor me." Riku cocked his head and laid a hand over his chest. "I'll make it worth your while," he said as the darkness in his heart increased invitingly.

Before Vanitas replied he leeched off a small amount. "Because of the shackles I can no longer phase." To emphasize his words he shook out his leg, the shackle on his ankle giving a soft jingle.

"Your go-to technique didn't work, but in the end you still got the upper hand. How?"

Eventually Vanitas dismissed Void Gear in favor of crossing his arms over his chest. "Speed. Once I was fast, beating him was easy enough."

Satisfied Riku gave a nod. "You adapted to the situation. Since you couldn't act as usual, you thought of another way - which was increasing your speed and changing the odds." He shifted his weight and gestured with his right hand as he added, "If you can't use the light in yourself, I want you to be creative and change your perspective. You might be surprised what you can come up with once you just try things out."

Processing the suggestion, Vanitas sucked on his teeth. Now that he thought about it, he _did_ experiment a lot more than when training under the guidance of Master Xehanort. With nobody there to tell him what to do and beating the shit out of him if he stepped out of line, he had no other choice but to come up with his own ideas. In the past, he'd have never even entertained the idea to use buffs from _light magic_ to his advantage. Now, the first thing he did in team-spars was waiting for Naminé to boost his abilities.

And, now that he got a taste of autonomy, he'd fight tooth and nail when someone tried to crowd him the way he was in the Badlands.

Well, safe for Aqua's lessons. It was much more fun to openly rebel and do the exact opposite of what she wanted from them just to spite her.

The Scrappers calmed down as Vanitas thought, so much so some returned to him pain- and emotionlessly. Two still stuck around, but Riku made no move to approach further regardless. However he did frown once he looked down.

"We better wash up before going in," Riku said with furrowed eyebrows. "Hm. The ground gets really muddy here."

With a huff Vanitas lowered his eyes - and curled up his lips in disgust. The mud squelched under his shoes, a brown layer coating them, and much to his distaste he noticed the Unversed weren't faring much better. The ghost sensation on his feet was giving Vanitas shivers.

Mud and rain had never been an issue in the Badlands. He could deal with sharp rocks and hot sand, but this? This was just _ bothering _. At least Vanitas had been quick enough to prevent from face-planting himself during their match. That brought a nasty strain across his shank though and the humidity in the air kept it from drying.

_Ugh_.

Eventually Vanitas absorbed the last two Scrappers, calling it a day. It was almost evening anyway and since the stupid toll left him with cleaning duty he really didn't want to drag all the mud inside. A water-spell should do the trick, but there was no point casting it where he stood.

He made sure to shoot a warning glare at Riku to do the same, however they needed to get off the muddy training grounds first. Every step held that annoying squishy noise as Vanitas walked, even worse from when he used to wash. He should have summoned a damn bodysuit before-

"_ What the fuck_," Vanitas hissed once they rounded the corner by the entrance of the training-area. It opened up to a small road flanked by meadows. Wet, equally muddy meadows with several people on them - who laughed as they threw handful of mud at each other.

Of course Xion, Roxas, and Axel were the most covered. Naminé was a little better, but still a complete mess. And since he was annoying and a pain in the ass, Ventus was there, too.

Next to him Riku snorted out a laugh. "Figures. Sora would do the same if he were here." He rested a hand on his hip and glanced over, a playful gleam in his eye. "Wanna join them?"

"_ Never_. I'm not _ gross,_" Vanitas spat back. Why would he purposefully get dirty? He didn't need any excuses to take a bath and, frankly,all he could think of was the mess he'd have to clean up once the idiots went inside.

He was still frowning when Riku chuckled. "Your loss," he smirked before he jogged over to the group. On the run he leaned down and grabbed a handful of mud which he instantly flung at Xion, provoking a whole new fight.

"Idiots," Vanitas muttered to himself as he watched them assault each other with balls of mud, all the while giggling and laughing. Even Riku was all game, playing around as if he were just yet another airhead. Wasn't he supposed to be the responsible one?

Though, when Roxas planted a huge mudball right into Riku's face Vanitas cackled along, too. Watching those two certainly _was_ entertaining, especially once he learned about their history.

"Hey."

The simple greeting was enough to kill the small spark of fun Vanitas felt blooming in his chest - and with a scowl he turned away and made to leave.

"Vanitas, please wait!" Ventus called with a gasp, quickly crossing the distance between them. He even went as far as reaching for his arm - and Vanitas violently swatted him away before they even touched. The action got him mud on his hand though and, with narrowed eyes, he jerked his wrist trying to fling it off.

Lips pulled back in a snarl Vanitas hissed, "Back. Off." The piercing glare in his eyes made Ventus take half a step back, however he still held his ground.

"You don't have to leave," he whispered timidly, "If you like to join them, I'll go away. I don't want to spoil your fun."

Vanitas only huffed at that. Who did Ventus think he was? Implying he, the weakest and most pathetic of all lights, would be anywhere close to chasing him away with his mere, _insignificant_ presence.

_Honestly_. _Naminé_ was more of a threat in Vanitas' eyes than Ventus could ever be.

Not even bothering for a reply Vanitas stamped off, the mud squelching under his boots - but a matching noise followed behind him. "Hey! I said you don't need to leave!" Ventus repeated, a hint of urgency and frustration in his voice. "Vanitas!"

"Leave me alone!" Vanitas growled back, whirling around on the spot and hand outstretched, ready to summon Void Gear.

Ventus came to a stop, too, his eyes narrowed and determined as he attempted to hold Vanitas' stare. He even resembled Roxas a little with that expression, however he hardly had the energy and attitude behind his posture to be really convincing. But Ventus was also an idiot - and a stubborn one at that - so he kept their distance brief and remained close regardless.

Fuck, he was annoying. Grinding his teeth Vanitas growled and tensed, his eyes narrowing to slits as he asseted the situation. The chances Ventus would just turn away were slim, but if Vanitas broke off a fight Riku would likely cut his privileges short as a punishment. Not to mention the rest of the gang; they'd instantly join in and either brawl or try to separate them, which would be messy either way since they were soaking wet with mud.

Damn it. If it weren't for the shackles on him, Vanitas would simply open a dark corridor and-

Ever so slightly Vanitas' eyes widened and his mouth formed the tiniest 'o' as an idea struck him. A heartbeat later a sneer already curved over his lips and he gently moved his hand, the motion still familiar although it had been months since he last did it.

With a hiss a dark corridor appeared behind Ventus - and a quick, strong push on his chest was all it took for Vanitas to shove him through it. The portal closed up as soon as Ventus disappeared entirely into the blackness. Everything happened so fast Ventus couldn't even cry out, though his eyes had widened and mouth opened as he fell.

Satisfied Vanitas sneered even broader. It had been so easy to do, he briefly wondered why he hadn't tried it sooner. The thought itself was simple enough - if he couldn't phase away himself, he just had to teleport his target where he wanted it.

Though he gave no damn where Ventus ended up. Usually he focused more on the location before opening a dark corridor, however all he needed was for it to be far, _far_ away.

Vanitas was just about to slip his hands in his pocket when his eyes met Naminé's. She was staring intently, her brows slightly furrowed. Before she could make up her mind he lifted one of his hand and held his index-finger against his lips, the sneer turning into a mischievous grin. It only served to make her frown, her lips pressed together as she focused - until a mudball hit her square on the back, the sudden splatter making her squeak.

"Gotcha!" Xion cheered and threw her arms up in victory. However she froze up once she looked around, her face scrunching up. "Hey, where'd Ven go?"

Before things got hairy, Vanitas leisurely took his leave.

  
  


\-----------------------------------------------------

  
  


Strange.

Vanitas clearly saw he was himself; the smooth, large mirror reflected his face perfectly. It was definitely his dark hair and his own piercing golden eyes on the youth opposite himself. There was even the same little scar on his bottom lip.

But then why… couldn't Vanitas _ move_?

No matter how hard he willed his hands to rise his arms remained slack, simply hanging from his shoulders. No matter how much he tried to make a different expression, his face remained smooth and relaxed. Heck, he couldn't even blink his eyes or alter his breathing! His body just didn't… _ comply _.

Eventually though something changed in the mirror.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Vanitas' black hair began to turn silver. It started on the tips and spread toward his head, just as slowly as his skin turned darker.

After the next blink - which he still couldn't control - Master Xehanort was suddenly standing in the mirror, old and bald and just as sinister-looking as Vanitas remembered him. "Disappointing. For you had only one purpose, you still failed."

He could hear two voices - Master Xehanort's and his own.

"However, you still have a chance to redeem your failure." A sneer curled over Master Xehanort's lips as he lifted his hand and pressed his palm against the glass. Vanitas mirrored the motion - like he was the reflection and not the other way round.

"Even an abomination like you," he said in a low voice, "Shouldn't have trouble being a vessel."

And then Vanitas watched in horror as his fingers sunk into the glass.

Everything inside him reared up - Vanitas fought his body to pull back and bring distance between himself and the mirror, but his arm kept pushing against the surface.

_ No! Let go! _

His thoughts never made it passed his lips, although he wanted to scream and shout and yell. However he was helpless and desperate and weak, unable to do anything else but watch as his body steadily disappeared.

_No!,_ Vanitas screamed in his mind, _This body's mine! Mine alone!_

He was a tool, a sacrifice, a means to an end… however at least this physical form Vanitas manifested once he was torn from Ventus belonged to him, and him alone. Albeit with a borrowed face it was a good body, pulling through everything thrown its way. Even when he was still with the True Organization Vanitas managed to defend it - kept his own entity rather than ending up as a simple placeholder for Master Xehanort like most of the others.

If Master invaded this body… would he be pushed out? Lose himself? Become a mindless puppet?

What felt like torturous hours must have been merely minutes - and then Vanitas saw his reflection from the other side of the mirror, ebony hair painted silver and pale skin tanned, a lopsided smirk on his scarred lips.

"At least you make a good vessel," his body chuckled using Master Xehanort's voice.

"No!" Vanitas shouted, jerking up so fast his head spun. A sheen of sweat covered his skin, however his clothes felt relatively dry still. A Hareraiser was shivering at the foot of the bed, undoubtedly created from the feeling of fear Vanitas had experienced. At least he didn't vomit it up this time.

Sighing he ran a hand over his face, willing himself to calm down. There had been worse nightmares already; dreams where the pain felt so accurate as if it were real. This one was more on the disturbing side, but otherwise rather tame. While Vanitas certainly didn't like turning into Master Xehanort, he could still think of harsher horrors to come haunt him in his sleep.

The cold sweat was annoying though - and once torn out of slumber like that, Vanitas doubted he'd be able to fall back asleep any time soon.

Ignoring the Hareraiser he swung his legs out of bed, grabbed a change of clothes, and went to rinse off in the bathroom. His room was closer to it, thankfully, and Vanitas made sure to keep the shower brief enough to cause little noise. Sometimes Riku was a light sleeper and came out to investigate, and Vanitas was in no mood to talk about nightmares.

Since he finished the last book he grabbed from the study last night, he figured he might as well go downstairs and read some more. The spell Aqua put on the grandfather-clock was easy to break once he came across a book specialized on counterspells.

As Vanitas emerged from the bathroom he found his Unversed skirting around the corridor, ears flapping so agitated he decided to take it along. The small Hareraiser kept easily up with his step and once they reached the lowest floor even hurried ahead and out of sight. It felt exposed in the open space; Vanitas expected it to wait by the door to the common area, too unnerved to walk in on its own.

Though… Somehow an odd chill lingered in the air he couldn't quite place.

Vanitas just nodded his head toward the room, the Hareraiser tilting its head for a moment before it followed the command-

The Unversed barely made it passed the threshold when pain shot down Vanitas' shoulder and torso, forcing him to gasp along with the cry of the Hareraiser. Out of instinct he summoned Void Gear into his hand and swung it at whoever sled his creation, huffing with narrowed eyes once the familiar clank of Keyblades hitting reached his ears. Snarling Vanitas pushed against the offending blade, however his opponent was standing their ground - for the whole of a few seconds.

"Goodness, it's you," a female voice gasped. In the next heartbeat Vanitas felt the resistance disappear, Void Gear briefly dipping forward. It was still cold when he relaxed his stance with a click of his tongue, eyes narrowed to the point of slits.

_Of course_ he'd run into damn Aqua.

Suddenly she flinched, as if something came to her mind. "That Unversed…! Are you hurt?" Aqua's worry sounded almost genuine as she invaded Vanitas' space, blue eyes glued on the front of his shirt.

Before he could step back, she already murmured a quiet 'Curara'. The space around Vanitas lit up in green as the wound on his shoulder stitched itself back up, the slight breeze making both his pajama and Aqua's nightgown flutter for a moment.

Once the light faded out, Vanitas finally took notice of the room - heard the cracking of a flame in the fireplace and smelled the scent of herbal tea in the air. Despite the twitchy flicker of the fire he noticed the shadows around Aqua’s eyes and felt the unnatural chill in the air, foreign and dark.

It took him another heartbeat to realize it came _ from _her.

“Sorry for hurting you,” Aqua said, her gaze at the ground and arms defensively crossed before her chest. Was she… shivering?

“What brings you here at this hour?”

Her question made Vanitas jerk his face up, meeting her head-on. Whatever had Aqua avert her eyes was gone and she glanced back intently, as if she was trying to solve some kind of puzzle.

A sneer laid over Vanitas' lips as he replied, "Why would I answer _ you_?"

Surprisingly she laughed at that - the sound hollow and weak. "Fair enough." Aqua tilted her head, looking at the fire before her eyes dropped to the space before it. Vanitas resisted the urge to follow her glance. "Wanna play some King Clash?" she asked.

Before he even replied she already made a beeline for the table where the board and figures stood, lifted it up, and carried it over to the couch nearest to the fireplace. Instead of sitting on she crouched down in front of it and once Vanitas followed he noticed a lone figure on the floor - the white king.

Aqua busied herself with setting up the figures as he considered the offer and eventually sat down as well. The flame was so warm it was bothering and its light threw Vanitas' shadow against the couch, his outline trembling with every flicker and sweat rolling down the side of his head.

And yet it was still… strangely chilly.

He decided to ignore that and focus on the game for the time being. The fire cracked every once in a while, the wood sizzling under the assault from the flame, but otherwise only the clack of their figures against the board could be heard.

They played a game.

Then a second.

By his third win in a row, Vanitas had narrowed his eyes to slits and pulled his lips back in a snarl.

Although it was just the two of them, Aqua was even more distracted than last time. With every unexpected noise she flinched and looked around with wide blue eyes, her hand twitching suspiciously in the process. The shadows on her face became more prominent and the tremor in her limbs turned worse with every startle. But the worst for Vanitas was how _absent_ she was; it made his victory sour and meaningless, as if he wasn't taken seriously. Or as if whatever ill little feelings she harbored in her heart demanded more attention than a very embodiment of darkness such as him.

If she wasn't at her strongest, what was the point of beating her in the first place?

Vanitas' frustration swelled with every beat of his heart, so much his chest felt tight. The lights being pathetic wasn't new, however at least they always gave it their all. Even Ventus stood up for himself when they fought so many years ago, despite shaking like a leaf and almost crying.

But Aqua? She kept some sort of dignity and put up a brave face at all times. Seeing her in a state where her own shadow might scare her shitless was so out-of-character Vanitas could barely comprehend it.

Damn, a fucking _Hareraiser_ had more guts than her.

Frustrated he watched Aqua reach for a piece, but before she placed it down something popped in the fireplace - and she flinched with a gasp, head whipping up and scanning the area so intently her hand absently lowered, putting her figure down at seemingly random...

And eventually Vanitas boiled over.

He slammed his hand against the floor, the slapping noise so loud that Aqua flinched away and closer to the fire, one hand stretched out for her Keyblade. "Enough with this bullshit," Vanitas growled threateningly before he pointed an angry finger at her. "Stop being so _pathetic_ and put up a damn _fight _already. Aren't you a master of light?"

For a moment Aqua gaped at him, her eyebrows furrowed in dismay, but eventually she averted her eyes with a sigh. Her shoulders slumped down and her head drooped and her whole demeanor was so disgustingly similar to _Ventus_ he almost got sick from just watching.

This wouldn't do.

This _absolutely _wouldn't do.

Irritated to the point Unversed pulled at his insides, Vanitas angrily clicked his tongue and drew in a deep breath. He couldn't believe what he was about to do, but between the nightmare and annoyance and utter frustration he still found himself accessing Aqua's darkness and yanked it out with brutal force. In fact she jerked with a pained gasp as Vanitas forcefully severed the links the darkness used to clutch to her heart.

Cradling the darkness inside himself, Vanitas realized it didn't mix with his own; it was similar to when he absorbed Riku's, though while his flared and burned with intensity, Aqua's pulsed with a certain chilliness he couldn't exactly point his finger at. Familiar yet foreign, a type of darkness originating from an emotion he didn't feel so often.

A small shiver ran through Vanitas' body, as if he bit into some ice cream.

Loneliness.

Yeah… he didn't feel that too often. While Ventus had always been skittish and fearful, he barely ever felt lonely when they were still one. And since Vanitas had nobody beside Ventus in his life anyway, he barely ever felt alone. Or rather, there were a bunch of other dark emotions he felt toward his light that overpowered the abandonment in his heart.

As he slowly, carefully even, consumed the darkness he absorbed, Vanitas reseted all the figures on the board. "And now," he said once the pieces were set and he finally locked eyes with Aqua, "Put up a _real_ challenge, will you?"

The baffled expression Aqua had was a whole other reward, but Vanitas only sneered once she picked up a figure and made the first move - cool and calculated and unaffected by darkness as she should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Sorry if there are many mistakes in this chap.  
I was, like, half-way through editing this when my computer RANDOMLY switched off and rebooted. And since I'm an unlucky bastard, the RAM didn't keep the changes -.- sooo pretty much rushed through the first part again. If something doesn't add up or make sense, just let me know. 
> 
> I think this chap is longer than usual? But in return, the next one will be shorter and with a cliffhanger xD  
Hope you enjoy <3 
> 
> Regards and stay safe,  
\- T


End file.
